Curtain call chapter 3
A/N: Thanks for the nice reviews. Sorry it It's been a while since I posted but it wasn't suppose to be a serie. I guess I'll see where it leads me. No real spoiler. Interaction with Spike and the SITs. And of course Spuffy...Warning... I'm in one of those moods... Now, READ!
Curtain call
Buffy rolled her eyes. Was I that slow?, she thought. Spike was trying, very patiently, to teach the girls how to throw off an assailant. Vi had been designated to play the vampire's prey, but so far all the girl could do was squirm under Spike. After a few moments of struggle, Spike changed into game face and made the motion of biting the girl.
"You're dead, pet."
He stood and held his hand to help the girl up. She took it reluctantly and brushed herself before joining the other girls, who had been watching the whole scene.
Buffy crossed her arms on her chest and took a deep breath. She didn't want to sound harsh, but the girls needed to get their act together. Fast. The First wouldn't wait that long before it attacked.
"When you are caught in that position, always plant your upper back firmly into the ground and use your legs as a lever. You'll have more power and you'll be able to free yourself. Again. Rona."
The young girl made a face but stepped forward and readied herself for Spike's attack. The bleached vampire smirked and winked at the girl. He knew Rona was feeling uneasy with him. But she would have to deal with it. Spike was the only one, besides Buffy, who had the strength and the fighting skills to train the girls.
Without warning he tackled the girl on the ground. Rona planted her upper back firmly, just like Buffy had told them to do, but before she could use her legs, Spike had pined her with his own legs. She couldn't move an inch. Spike's smile widened.
"Remember, pet. We never fight fair."
He glanced at Buffy who was smiling. She mouthed the words *You do.* He shrugged and released the girl. She ignored his hand and stood by herself. The vampire just shook his head. Attitude!. He stretched his arms and his shirt lifted, revealing his taut six pack. Buffy bit her lip. God he was beautiful, His injuries were completely healed, except for a couple of ribs who were taking their nice time mending..He was now his old gorgeous self.
Funny how almost losing him to the hands of the First had made Buffy revised her opinion about him. She had offered friendship, which he had gladly accepted. Even if Buffy knew that he wanted more than that. He still loved her , but never acted on it. Hell! Every time they accidentally touched each other, he was the first to pull away with an embarrassed smile. She was missing the closeness that they once shared. Maybe they needed time...
She was so deep in thought that she didn't see Rona taking a step toward Spike, ax in hand. The young girl clubbed the vampire on the head. The blow wasn't that powerful, but since he had been caught off guard, Spike stumbled to the ground, face first. He hit his forehead on the cot and the skin split with a loud thud. He stayed still, dazed.
All eyes were fixed on Rona, who was standing, ax up, with a smug smile on her face.
"What? I don't have to fight fair, either."
Buffy decided to keep her anger in check. For now. She rushed to the bleached vampire who was already sitting up and knelt beside him.
"Spike, are you alright?"
Spike blinked once and looked at the girl standing in front of him. *Stay the hell away from my daughter.*
"Joyce?"
No. It couldn't be. Joyce was dead. Wasn't she? Was the First playing with his head again? He startled when a warm hand touched his forehead. He turned his head and saw that Buffy was looking at him with worries etched over her features.
"Spike, are you okay?"
Spike pulled her hand away and pointed at the girl.
"Buffy, look!"
But when he looked himself, all he saw was Rona. Joyce was gone. He blinked again and shook his head. He could feel the throbbing starting and a strange buzzing sound was ringing in his left ear. Headache's coming, he thought. He stood up with Buffy's help and sat on the cot. Buffy reached for the first aid kit and took a washcloth to dry the blood on the vampire's forehead.
"You're lucky you won't need sutures."
"I'm fine, luv. Give it a few hours."
The slayer turned angrily to face Rona. The girl's smug smile quickly disappeared when she saw the cold stare of the blonde girl.
"What the hell do you think..."
But Spike put his hand on her arm and shook his head.
"Don't."
He turned and smiled at the girl.
"You did good, pet. You got to use every bit of advantage you can when you're fighting for your life. You just proved that you've learned something today."
Spikes smile was sincere and his tone of voice warm. Rona fidgeted under the praise. She suddenly felt bad. She could have hurt the vampire pretty seriously.
"Spike, I'm sor..."
"Don't! You did good. No apology necessary. Now it's almost time for supper, go upstairs and do what you girl do when you have a break. Session is over for today.Go."
The girls didn't waste any time and rushed upstairs, giggling and chatting happily. When the door closed on their voices, Spike let go of a sigh of relief.
"At last, quiet."
"Enjoy cause it won't last.."
"Don't I know it, luv."
Buffy sat next to Spike and took a bandage. When she grabbed his chin, he just pulled away by leaning on the wall. A very natural movement, but Buffy knew he was just escaping her touch.
"I'm fine Buffy. I can feel it closing already."
Buffy shook her head and put the bandage back in the first aid kit.
"You know Spike it's okay to touch between friends."
Spike didn't say a word. He had too much to say and he doubted that Buffy would like to hear it. They were friends. He accepted that. It was more than he deserved, he knew it. But it was less than he wanted. And God knew if he wanted to be touched by her. He had to keep away from temptation. He knew that he would not be able to resist touching her back. In a non friendly manner. He had lost control once. Never again. He didn't trust himself when she was so close to him. No touching. They would end up hurt. And they didn't deserve it. Friend it was then.
Buffy could read him like an open book. He always had been an enigma. But since she had rescued him from the First, his emotions were flashing like a neon to her. He needed time. She could give him that. They were passed the awkwardness of the first moments. They were very much at ease with everyday interaction between them. She now wanted to go to the next level. But he obviously was guarding his heart. She understood that. Hopefully, he would understand soon that it was okay to go a little farther.
She stood up.
"I'm gonna check what's for dinner. You want me to heat up some blood?"
"Later, maybe. I'm just gonna stay here and enjoy a quiet moment by myself."
'Fine."
She walked toward the stairs.
"Buffy?"
"Yes?"
"Go easy on the girl. She just did what we were trying to teach them all day. She doesn't need the slayer's wrath."
Buffy clenched her jaw. The girls deserved more than her wrath. She deserved a good spanking. She could have seriously hurt Spike...The thought of Spike, missing from her life, brought a lump in her throat. She realized that he was a part of her. A very big part now. To tell the truth he had been for quite some times. She just never took the time to stop and acknowledge it. A life without Spike. A life dull and bland. No taste, no color. A world of black and white...No. She needed Spike in her life.
"Buffy? You dreamin' luv...Promise me you'll give the girl a break."
Buffy took a deep breath and tried to control her voice.
"Fine. But if she ever pull another one like that..."
There was a world of menace in her voice and Spike couldn't help but smile. Obviously, his slayer had been worried that he was hurt.That was nice to know.
"That's my girl!"
Buffy smiled. His girl! She was his girl! She climbed the few steps and walked out, closing the door behind her. When Spike was sure that she was gone, he grabbed his head with both his hands and muffled his scream in the pillow. After a while, all he could feel was a dull ache and the buzzing sound in his ear. Maybe a nap and a nice cuppa would take care of it. He closed his eyes on the memory of Buffy's hand on his forehead. In dreamland, Buffy's touch was allowed.
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The girls were chatting and giggling. Loud. Thank God his headache was gone. They were arguing on the various qualities of some boys band, munching happily on the food that was displayed on the table. Willow was working on her computer. It was all girls in the house, since Giles and Xander were out, running errant. Buffy was nowhere to be seen but she was in the house. Spike could smell her vanilla scent.
He put his mug in the microwave and pushed the right button. The droning sound was almost hypnotic. He startled when one of the girl, Vi, brushed against him to take some plates in the cupboard. She smiled and he returned one of his trademark smirked. Seventy one. A-. Where the hell did that come from? He closed his eyes. The headache was coming back. He could feel it.
"Spike!"
Kennedy was calling him. He shook his head and raise an eyebrow.
"Yes pet?"
"What kind of music do you listen to?"
Here they were again. They had made it a ritual of questioning him on various subjects during supper. He could barely escape their curiosity concerning him.
"Sex Pistols. The Ramones. The Cult, The Clash. Metallica...Only the good ones. Classics."
"What? No Billy Idol?"
Kennedy was teasing, he knew it. Her tone was playful. He prepared himself to growl at her.Sixty two. O+. Shit! Thump thump thump. Swoosh swoosh swoosh. Warm and red. Coppery and rich. Flowing fresh. He was so deep in thought and sensations that he didn't hear the microwave beep, indicating that his blood was ready.
"Oh! Daydreamer! You're blood is ready!"
He startled when he heard Molly's voice. The girls was in front of him, handling him his mug. Sixty six. B+. He could see the pulsing movement on her neck. Calling him. Swoosh swoosh swoosh...Warm. Red. Just for him...He could feel his demon raging to get out. Spike battled to keep his human face on. He needed to get the hell out of there. He needed space. He needed air...All the blood...
"NO!"
Spike took a step back. All the girls were looking at him with curiosity. He usually was very quiet, he hadn't realized that he had screamed. He looked at them and ran out by the back door.
Buffy walked into the kitchen and frowned. The girls were silent and the back door was open.
"What's up guys?"
Kennedy bit her lip. Despite the fact that Buffy had told them that she and Spike were only friends, the girl knew that they were more than that. Just the way Spike looked at Buffy when she was near him. The way Buffy would brush against Spike. The way they were overprotective of each other. It was more than friendship. And Kennedy hated being the messenger of bad news.
"Something is wrong with Spike."
Buffy didn't ask for details. She rushed outside. She didn't have to look too far. She spotted the bleached vampire on the left side of the porch. He was in the shadow, but the moon was lighting his face and Buffy could see the battle raging within him. She quietly sat next to him.
"Want to tell me what happened?"
He stayed silent for a moment. God she didn't need more worries. She had enough on her plate. She didn't need the burden of an insane vampire above all. But if he was losing his mind, he needed to tell her. She needed to be prepared to protect them against him.
"I had a sudden urge for blood."
"Well there's enough in the fridge."
"No. Fresh from the neck."
Buffy stayed silent. No need to panic. She had done that in the past and it never ended up well.
"Care to share?"
"I was there. Surrounded by the girls. And it was calling to me, Buffy. All those girls, full of life. Innocent. Waiting to be slaughtered. All the blood...flowing freely...Warm. red...All for me."
"Mmm mmm."
Spike frowned.. She was unbelievably calm. Too calm. Where was her stake?
"What do you mean mmm mmm?"
"Well obviously you haven't drink..."
"But I wanted it! God I so wanted it. I could taste it on my tongue. Coppery. So tasty... I could hear their heartbeat. I could hear the blood passing in the arteries. Calling me. You see, soul or no soul, I'm still a monster."
Those last few words had been whispered. Buffy shook her head.
"No Spike. You are not a monster. You are both man and demon.. And for what I can see, the man prevailed. You are in control, Spike."
He shook his head violently.
"You don't understand! I wanted it! Bad. Did you know that Vi is anemic? I could smell how little iron is in her blood. Did you know that Kennedy beats sixty two and is O+? Rona beats one hundred and sixty nine when she's scared. I didn't even need to focus. It all came to me so easily. That's all I could do. Think about their blood ...Craving for it. God Buffy I don't want to hurt them. I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to hurt anyone..."
He choked on the words. He was crying now and all Buffy could do was trying to comfort him. She took him into her arms and gently rubbed his back, whispering soft comforting words. His greatest fear. Hurting her. Hurting the girls. Strangely, she wasnt't really worried by it all. She had told him she believed in him. She still did. She knew he would never go that path again. And she was pretty sure that he was not under the influence of the First. No this was something else and she needed to reassure him. After a while, his sobs stopped and he pulled away from her. She still maintained the contact of her hand on his back. He wiped his eyes.
"Sorry."
"Don't be. I'm glad that you trust me enough to share it with me. Now listen to me. You know what I think this is all about? Since you got your soul back and you've been tortured by the first, you never had a break to sort it out. I think it's all the pain and the hurt that is finally reaching you. But you're so strong Spike. You'll get through. I'll help you. And I know that you'll never hurt me or anyone. Ever again. Of that I am certain. Have I ever been wrong?"
At that Spike raised an eyebrow and let go of a little laugh.
"You really want me to answer that one, luv?"
"Nah. But do you believe in me Spike? Just like I believe in you?"
"How can you still..."
Buffy pulled her hand away from his back and Spike silenced a whimper. He could feel the loss of her touch. But she took his hand and intertwined their fingers.
"I do, Now please trust me when I say that everything will be alright. 'Kay?"
Spike nodded his head. She still believed in him. She thought he was strong. He knew he was not. But she needed him. So he would be strong for her. And he would try not to be a burden for her.
Buffy stood up pulling him with her.
"Right now I think that you need a good night sleep. Tomorrow will be easier. You'll see."
Spike doubted that he would be able to sleep, but he followed her in silence. Thank God she was in her life. Without her he was truly lost.They made their way inside the house. Thanks to Willow, the coast to the basement was clear. The girls were engrossed in a Brad Pitt movie marathon. They mad their way downstairs, still holding hands.
The soulled vampire sat on the cot, Buffy next to him.
"Do you need anything?"
You, he thought. She was his life. His everything. His only thing. She was all he had left. And he needed to keep her safe.
"Yes. I think you should put the chains on tonight."
Buffy made a face. The thought of him chained to the wall was horrible. He had already been chained too many times. He didn't need it.
"Spike, I don't think this is necessary. I told you it would be okay."
He shook his head.
"Please Buffy. I won't be able to sleep. I need to be sure that everybody is safe."
"So you're telling me that in order to sleep you need to be restrained?"
"That's another way to put it, but yeah."
Buffy nodded her head pensively. He wanted to keep everybody safe from him. But who would keep him safe? She took a deep breath.
"You're right Spike. But I don't think a pair of manacle and a few feet of chains are gonna do."
Despite the fact that he had requested it, hearing Buffy agreeing with him disappointed him. So much for believing in him...
"Lie down and move a little."
Spike did as requested, wondering what her choice of bond would be. To his surprise she lied next to him and took him into her arms. His head in the soft curve of her neck. He could smell the vanilla scent of her shampoo. He sighed, his body slightly trembling when her arms encircled his body completely.
"Buffy..."
"Shhhhh! Don't you think that the slayer's arms are more powerful than those chains? You think everyone is safe with you in that prison? Even yourself?"
He didn't answer. He couldn't trust his voice. He knew that he was safe. Her arms was the only safe place for him. And he knew everyone was safe too. Because in her arms he was just a man. The demon didn't exist. Evil had no dominion over him. Spike just sighed deeply. Buffy smiled..
"Now sleep vampire of mine. You're safe."
Spike matched his breathing on Buffy's and soon was drifting into sleep. He had the time to whisper one last thing before going deep.
"Don't let go."
Buffy kissed his forehead.
"I got you. I'm never gonna let go I love you Spike."
She heard a light snore. He was deep into sleep. Now was a good time to think about their future. They needed time. Which they didn't have. So they would take the time that were allotted to them and make the best of it. Whether it was for eternity or a couple of weeks. But she had the feeling that they would be victorious over the First. After all didn't they say that love conquers it all?
TBC?
A/N: Thanks for the nice reviews. Sorry it It's been a while since I posted but it wasn't suppose to be a serie. I guess I'll see where it leads me. No real spoiler. Interaction with Spike and the SITs. And of course Spuffy...Warning... I'm in one of those moods... Now, READ!
Curtain call
Buffy rolled her eyes. Was I that slow?, she thought. Spike was trying, very patiently, to teach the girls how to throw off an assailant. Vi had been designated to play the vampire's prey, but so far all the girl could do was squirm under Spike. After a few moments of struggle, Spike changed into game face and made the motion of biting the girl.
"You're dead, pet."
He stood and held his hand to help the girl up. She took it reluctantly and brushed herself before joining the other girls, who had been watching the whole scene.
Buffy crossed her arms on her chest and took a deep breath. She didn't want to sound harsh, but the girls needed to get their act together. Fast. The First wouldn't wait that long before it attacked.
"When you are caught in that position, always plant your upper back firmly into the ground and use your legs as a lever. You'll have more power and you'll be able to free yourself. Again. Rona."
The young girl made a face but stepped forward and readied herself for Spike's attack. The bleached vampire smirked and winked at the girl. He knew Rona was feeling uneasy with him. But she would have to deal with it. Spike was the only one, besides Buffy, who had the strength and the fighting skills to train the girls.
Without warning he tackled the girl on the ground. Rona planted her upper back firmly, just like Buffy had told them to do, but before she could use her legs, Spike had pined her with his own legs. She couldn't move an inch. Spike's smile widened.
"Remember, pet. We never fight fair."
He glanced at Buffy who was smiling. She mouthed the words *You do.* He shrugged and released the girl. She ignored his hand and stood by herself. The vampire just shook his head. Attitude!. He stretched his arms and his shirt lifted, revealing his taut six pack. Buffy bit her lip. God he was beautiful, His injuries were completely healed, except for a couple of ribs who were taking their nice time mending..He was now his old gorgeous self.
Funny how almost losing him to the hands of the First had made Buffy revised her opinion about him. She had offered friendship, which he had gladly accepted. Even if Buffy knew that he wanted more than that. He still loved her , but never acted on it. Hell! Every time they accidentally touched each other, he was the first to pull away with an embarrassed smile. She was missing the closeness that they once shared. Maybe they needed time...
She was so deep in thought that she didn't see Rona taking a step toward Spike, ax in hand. The young girl clubbed the vampire on the head. The blow wasn't that powerful, but since he had been caught off guard, Spike stumbled to the ground, face first. He hit his forehead on the cot and the skin split with a loud thud. He stayed still, dazed.
All eyes were fixed on Rona, who was standing, ax up, with a smug smile on her face.
"What? I don't have to fight fair, either."
Buffy decided to keep her anger in check. For now. She rushed to the bleached vampire who was already sitting up and knelt beside him.
"Spike, are you alright?"
Spike blinked once and looked at the girl standing in front of him. *Stay the hell away from my daughter.*
"Joyce?"
No. It couldn't be. Joyce was dead. Wasn't she? Was the First playing with his head again? He startled when a warm hand touched his forehead. He turned his head and saw that Buffy was looking at him with worries etched over her features.
"Spike, are you okay?"
Spike pulled her hand away and pointed at the girl.
"Buffy, look!"
But when he looked himself, all he saw was Rona. Joyce was gone. He blinked again and shook his head. He could feel the throbbing starting and a strange buzzing sound was ringing in his left ear. Headache's coming, he thought. He stood up with Buffy's help and sat on the cot. Buffy reached for the first aid kit and took a washcloth to dry the blood on the vampire's forehead.
"You're lucky you won't need sutures."
"I'm fine, luv. Give it a few hours."
The slayer turned angrily to face Rona. The girl's smug smile quickly disappeared when she saw the cold stare of the blonde girl.
"What the hell do you think..."
But Spike put his hand on her arm and shook his head.
"Don't."
He turned and smiled at the girl.
"You did good, pet. You got to use every bit of advantage you can when you're fighting for your life. You just proved that you've learned something today."
Spikes smile was sincere and his tone of voice warm. Rona fidgeted under the praise. She suddenly felt bad. She could have hurt the vampire pretty seriously.
"Spike, I'm sor..."
"Don't! You did good. No apology necessary. Now it's almost time for supper, go upstairs and do what you girl do when you have a break. Session is over for today.Go."
The girls didn't waste any time and rushed upstairs, giggling and chatting happily. When the door closed on their voices, Spike let go of a sigh of relief.
"At last, quiet."
"Enjoy cause it won't last.."
"Don't I know it, luv."
Buffy sat next to Spike and took a bandage. When she grabbed his chin, he just pulled away by leaning on the wall. A very natural movement, but Buffy knew he was just escaping her touch.
"I'm fine Buffy. I can feel it closing already."
Buffy shook her head and put the bandage back in the first aid kit.
"You know Spike it's okay to touch between friends."
Spike didn't say a word. He had too much to say and he doubted that Buffy would like to hear it. They were friends. He accepted that. It was more than he deserved, he knew it. But it was less than he wanted. And God knew if he wanted to be touched by her. He had to keep away from temptation. He knew that he would not be able to resist touching her back. In a non friendly manner. He had lost control once. Never again. He didn't trust himself when she was so close to him. No touching. They would end up hurt. And they didn't deserve it. Friend it was then.
Buffy could read him like an open book. He always had been an enigma. But since she had rescued him from the First, his emotions were flashing like a neon to her. He needed time. She could give him that. They were passed the awkwardness of the first moments. They were very much at ease with everyday interaction between them. She now wanted to go to the next level. But he obviously was guarding his heart. She understood that. Hopefully, he would understand soon that it was okay to go a little farther.
She stood up.
"I'm gonna check what's for dinner. You want me to heat up some blood?"
"Later, maybe. I'm just gonna stay here and enjoy a quiet moment by myself."
'Fine."
She walked toward the stairs.
"Buffy?"
"Yes?"
"Go easy on the girl. She just did what we were trying to teach them all day. She doesn't need the slayer's wrath."
Buffy clenched her jaw. The girls deserved more than her wrath. She deserved a good spanking. She could have seriously hurt Spike...The thought of Spike, missing from her life, brought a lump in her throat. She realized that he was a part of her. A very big part now. To tell the truth he had been for quite some times. She just never took the time to stop and acknowledge it. A life without Spike. A life dull and bland. No taste, no color. A world of black and white...No. She needed Spike in her life.
"Buffy? You dreamin' luv...Promise me you'll give the girl a break."
Buffy took a deep breath and tried to control her voice.
"Fine. But if she ever pull another one like that..."
There was a world of menace in her voice and Spike couldn't help but smile. Obviously, his slayer had been worried that he was hurt.That was nice to know.
"That's my girl!"
Buffy smiled. His girl! She was his girl! She climbed the few steps and walked out, closing the door behind her. When Spike was sure that she was gone, he grabbed his head with both his hands and muffled his scream in the pillow. After a while, all he could feel was a dull ache and the buzzing sound in his ear. Maybe a nap and a nice cuppa would take care of it. He closed his eyes on the memory of Buffy's hand on his forehead. In dreamland, Buffy's touch was allowed.
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The girls were chatting and giggling. Loud. Thank God his headache was gone. They were arguing on the various qualities of some boys band, munching happily on the food that was displayed on the table. Willow was working on her computer. It was all girls in the house, since Giles and Xander were out, running errant. Buffy was nowhere to be seen but she was in the house. Spike could smell her vanilla scent.
He put his mug in the microwave and pushed the right button. The droning sound was almost hypnotic. He startled when one of the girl, Vi, brushed against him to take some plates in the cupboard. She smiled and he returned one of his trademark smirked. Seventy one. A-. Where the hell did that come from? He closed his eyes. The headache was coming back. He could feel it.
"Spike!"
Kennedy was calling him. He shook his head and raise an eyebrow.
"Yes pet?"
"What kind of music do you listen to?"
Here they were again. They had made it a ritual of questioning him on various subjects during supper. He could barely escape their curiosity concerning him.
"Sex Pistols. The Ramones. The Cult, The Clash. Metallica...Only the good ones. Classics."
"What? No Billy Idol?"
Kennedy was teasing, he knew it. Her tone was playful. He prepared himself to growl at her.Sixty two. O+. Shit! Thump thump thump. Swoosh swoosh swoosh. Warm and red. Coppery and rich. Flowing fresh. He was so deep in thought and sensations that he didn't hear the microwave beep, indicating that his blood was ready.
"Oh! Daydreamer! You're blood is ready!"
He startled when he heard Molly's voice. The girls was in front of him, handling him his mug. Sixty six. B+. He could see the pulsing movement on her neck. Calling him. Swoosh swoosh swoosh...Warm. Red. Just for him...He could feel his demon raging to get out. Spike battled to keep his human face on. He needed to get the hell out of there. He needed space. He needed air...All the blood...
"NO!"
Spike took a step back. All the girls were looking at him with curiosity. He usually was very quiet, he hadn't realized that he had screamed. He looked at them and ran out by the back door.
Buffy walked into the kitchen and frowned. The girls were silent and the back door was open.
"What's up guys?"
Kennedy bit her lip. Despite the fact that Buffy had told them that she and Spike were only friends, the girl knew that they were more than that. Just the way Spike looked at Buffy when she was near him. The way Buffy would brush against Spike. The way they were overprotective of each other. It was more than friendship. And Kennedy hated being the messenger of bad news.
"Something is wrong with Spike."
Buffy didn't ask for details. She rushed outside. She didn't have to look too far. She spotted the bleached vampire on the left side of the porch. He was in the shadow, but the moon was lighting his face and Buffy could see the battle raging within him. She quietly sat next to him.
"Want to tell me what happened?"
He stayed silent for a moment. God she didn't need more worries. She had enough on her plate. She didn't need the burden of an insane vampire above all. But if he was losing his mind, he needed to tell her. She needed to be prepared to protect them against him.
"I had a sudden urge for blood."
"Well there's enough in the fridge."
"No. Fresh from the neck."
Buffy stayed silent. No need to panic. She had done that in the past and it never ended up well.
"Care to share?"
"I was there. Surrounded by the girls. And it was calling to me, Buffy. All those girls, full of life. Innocent. Waiting to be slaughtered. All the blood...flowing freely...Warm. red...All for me."
"Mmm mmm."
Spike frowned.. She was unbelievably calm. Too calm. Where was her stake?
"What do you mean mmm mmm?"
"Well obviously you haven't drink..."
"But I wanted it! God I so wanted it. I could taste it on my tongue. Coppery. So tasty... I could hear their heartbeat. I could hear the blood passing in the arteries. Calling me. You see, soul or no soul, I'm still a monster."
Those last few words had been whispered. Buffy shook her head.
"No Spike. You are not a monster. You are both man and demon.. And for what I can see, the man prevailed. You are in control, Spike."
He shook his head violently.
"You don't understand! I wanted it! Bad. Did you know that Vi is anemic? I could smell how little iron is in her blood. Did you know that Kennedy beats sixty two and is O+? Rona beats one hundred and sixty nine when she's scared. I didn't even need to focus. It all came to me so easily. That's all I could do. Think about their blood ...Craving for it. God Buffy I don't want to hurt them. I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to hurt anyone..."
He choked on the words. He was crying now and all Buffy could do was trying to comfort him. She took him into her arms and gently rubbed his back, whispering soft comforting words. His greatest fear. Hurting her. Hurting the girls. Strangely, she wasnt't really worried by it all. She had told him she believed in him. She still did. She knew he would never go that path again. And she was pretty sure that he was not under the influence of the First. No this was something else and she needed to reassure him. After a while, his sobs stopped and he pulled away from her. She still maintained the contact of her hand on his back. He wiped his eyes.
"Sorry."
"Don't be. I'm glad that you trust me enough to share it with me. Now listen to me. You know what I think this is all about? Since you got your soul back and you've been tortured by the first, you never had a break to sort it out. I think it's all the pain and the hurt that is finally reaching you. But you're so strong Spike. You'll get through. I'll help you. And I know that you'll never hurt me or anyone. Ever again. Of that I am certain. Have I ever been wrong?"
At that Spike raised an eyebrow and let go of a little laugh.
"You really want me to answer that one, luv?"
"Nah. But do you believe in me Spike? Just like I believe in you?"
"How can you still..."
Buffy pulled her hand away from his back and Spike silenced a whimper. He could feel the loss of her touch. But she took his hand and intertwined their fingers.
"I do, Now please trust me when I say that everything will be alright. 'Kay?"
Spike nodded his head. She still believed in him. She thought he was strong. He knew he was not. But she needed him. So he would be strong for her. And he would try not to be a burden for her.
Buffy stood up pulling him with her.
"Right now I think that you need a good night sleep. Tomorrow will be easier. You'll see."
Spike doubted that he would be able to sleep, but he followed her in silence. Thank God she was in her life. Without her he was truly lost.They made their way inside the house. Thanks to Willow, the coast to the basement was clear. The girls were engrossed in a Brad Pitt movie marathon. They mad their way downstairs, still holding hands.
The soulled vampire sat on the cot, Buffy next to him.
"Do you need anything?"
You, he thought. She was his life. His everything. His only thing. She was all he had left. And he needed to keep her safe.
"Yes. I think you should put the chains on tonight."
Buffy made a face. The thought of him chained to the wall was horrible. He had already been chained too many times. He didn't need it.
"Spike, I don't think this is necessary. I told you it would be okay."
He shook his head.
"Please Buffy. I won't be able to sleep. I need to be sure that everybody is safe."
"So you're telling me that in order to sleep you need to be restrained?"
"That's another way to put it, but yeah."
Buffy nodded her head pensively. He wanted to keep everybody safe from him. But who would keep him safe? She took a deep breath.
"You're right Spike. But I don't think a pair of manacle and a few feet of chains are gonna do."
Despite the fact that he had requested it, hearing Buffy agreeing with him disappointed him. So much for believing in him...
"Lie down and move a little."
Spike did as requested, wondering what her choice of bond would be. To his surprise she lied next to him and took him into her arms. His head in the soft curve of her neck. He could smell the vanilla scent of her shampoo. He sighed, his body slightly trembling when her arms encircled his body completely.
"Buffy..."
"Shhhhh! Don't you think that the slayer's arms are more powerful than those chains? You think everyone is safe with you in that prison? Even yourself?"
He didn't answer. He couldn't trust his voice. He knew that he was safe. Her arms was the only safe place for him. And he knew everyone was safe too. Because in her arms he was just a man. The demon didn't exist. Evil had no dominion over him. Spike just sighed deeply. Buffy smiled..
"Now sleep vampire of mine. You're safe."
Spike matched his breathing on Buffy's and soon was drifting into sleep. He had the time to whisper one last thing before going deep.
"Don't let go."
Buffy kissed his forehead.
"I got you. I'm never gonna let go I love you Spike."
She heard a light snore. He was deep into sleep. Now was a good time to think about their future. They needed time. Which they didn't have. So they would take the time that were allotted to them and make the best of it. Whether it was for eternity or a couple of weeks. But she had the feeling that they would be victorious over the First. After all didn't they say that love conquers it all?
TBC?