Betrayal

Part 2~ What He Swore He'd Never Be

I got fought over today. We're doing a project in English (yeah, first day back and we already have a project, teachers have no mercy) and two groups fought over me. It made me feel really special. And I was rather out of it today cuz I've been sick for like the past week, so I was just like, eh, whatever, sure I'll be with you… it was one of those 'auto-pilot' days where I just went through the actions…and I'm really not sure how I managed that with a new schedule…hmm…I hope I went to all my classes…But newayz, no flames and I only lost the total respect of one person. Not too bad, LOL.

Chandler lay in bed, watching Monica breath. In and out. In and out. He hadn't watched her sleep in a long time, hadn't even slept without his back toward her in what seemed like forever. They'd hardly even been on speaking terms for longer than he could remember. They just went through the actions.

Where had they gone wrong?

He'd spent so long searching for that one moment that he could pinpoint and say that that was when it went wrong. That was when they went wrong.

But even after the many sleepless nights and the wasted days at work, he couldn't.

It'd been too long. Fights ran together, tears ran together…years ran together. Time got lost somewhere along the line. He could hardly even remember a time when it had been good.

No, he could remember the happy times. Years of friendship, dating, when they were newlyweds, buying their house, when both Megan and Josh were born…of course he could remember the good times. It's just that the memories no longer seemed to belong to him. It was more like old home movies of someone else's life, playing and replaying in his head.

"You okay?" Monica whispered, causing Chandler to jump, not expecting it.

"Yeah, um, fine," he replied, making eye contact. He could tell she was concerned, and he knew that she could tell he wasn't fine. He knew she knew that something was wrong. And he had a feeling that she knew what it was. But he also knew that she wasn't going to come out and just accuse him of it, either. And despite everything, he could still see something.

She loved him.

And he loved her. Despite everything, all the fights, the yelling, the threats of leaving, he still loved her for some reason. Out of habit, maybe. But can you ever love someone out of habit? He moved closer to her, deciding not to question himself. He loved her. That was all that mattered.

"I love you," he whispered before kissing her. Monica kissed back, it'd been way too long, but she could tell by his kisses that it wasn't going to stop at that.

"I love you, too," she whispered back, letting him pull off her clothes before starting on his.

Chandler kissed her hard on the mouth. Even if he was sleeping with Jessi, he still preferred making love to Monica.

~*~

Josh looked up into the stands, grinning. His mom had said 50 bucks for a hat trick (three goals for all you sports-illiterate people…Annie-yeah,um, sure, we can call it the, um, "bully box"…that works, too, lol…). She'd probably just been kidding to get him pumped because they were playing their rivals, who they always lost against, but he was going to have to hold her to that. He finally spotted his mom and sister in the stands, his smile fading as he realized that his dad wasn't there. He'd said that he'd be there. He'd promised that he'd be there, swore that he would be.

And he wasn't there.

~*~

"Shit!" Chandler looked at the clock, jumping out of bed. "Oh, shit." He'd fallen asleep. Worst mistake to make.

"What?"

"Josh's hockey game," he replied. "Shit, I gotta go," he rushed to get ready. "Bye, Jess."

"Bye," she replied, even though he'd already run out the door.

~*~

"I believe that was three goals for Josh Bing," Josh grinned at his mother as he came off of the ice. "Which, in a more technical sense, we would call a hat trick, which means…" his eyes got wide as she handed him the money. "Oh my god I thought you were kidding about that."

Monica shrugged, "You deserve it, good game."

"Thanks," he grinned again. "Where's Dad?" Monica's smile faded. "He didn't come, did he?" Josh asked quietly.

"I'm sure he just got caught up at work or someth-"

"Whatever," Josh turned to go into the locker room. "I'm gonna go change."

Monica sighed, watching him walk away. He couldn't believe that Chandler hadn't shown up.

"Dad!" Monica turned around when Megan saw Chandler.

"Hey, Megs," he smiled at her before looking up at Monica. "Look, Monica, I-"

"Don't make excuses, Chandler," she shook her head. "Just don't."

"Look, I'm sorry that I wasn't here."

"Well, tell that to Josh, don't tell it to me. See if your son will buy your excuses because I sure as hell don't anymore," she turned to go. "C'mon, Megan." Megan obediently followed her, and Chandler looked down when she looked back at him, too ashamed to meet her eye. "You can bring Josh home."

Chandler sighed; he couldn't do this. It wasn't him.

And yet it had somehow become his life.

"Hey, Josh," he smiled when he finally came out of the locker room. "You guys win?"

"What do you care," he mumbled, turning to leave. "Where'd Mom and Megan go."

"Home."

"Oh," he stopped walking, still refusing to turn and look at his father.

"Look, Josh, I'm sorry I missed your game."

"Yeah, whatever," he continued to walk away.

"Josh," Chandler tried again, but he continued to ignore him. "Joshua Bing."

"What?" he turned to face him. "You said you'd be here, you told me you would, and you weren't! Yes, we won, the first time we've ever beat them and you weren't here! Four to one. I scored three of the goals. Not that you were here to see it," he looked him in the eye.

"Josh, I-"

"I don't care anymore," he interrupted. "I don't care!" he repeated, throwing his stick and bag to the ground in front of Chandler. "I'm 12, I'm not stupid. Make however many stupid excuses you want to, you still weren't here," he paused again. "You can take my stuff, I'll get a ride home from Eric."

"Josh, wait. Josh," Chandler called, but he had already walked out the door. Sighing, he picked up Josh's things, realization hitting him.

He was everything he swore he'd never become.

To

Be

Continued…

Please review :) Yeah, like the little happy face makes it all better, LOL…um, how 'bout a bigger smiley face? :-D