Ed, Edd and Eddy: Much 'ado About Plank!
By Julia Stevens

In the animation world, there lived a cul-de-sac. In the cul-de-sac lived a bunch of kids. Three of them were named Ed, Edd and Eddy. Ed was a tall boy with seven hairs on his head. He's not exactly the brightest star in the sky. Edd is a smart neat freak with a wool-knit cap on his head. His friends call him "Double Dee." Finally, Eddy was a little guy with three long hairs on his head. He may be short, but he has one loud mouth.

There was a kid in the cul-de-sac named Johnny. He wasn't your average kid. He had a friend named Plank. He was a piece of wood. Johnny's the only one that hears and understands what Plank is saying.

One day, when Johnny was going downstairs to eat dinner, he left Plank on his pillow.

"I'll be back, Plank" said Johnny. Plank was safe on Johnny's pillow, when a mysterious kid came and did something bad.

When Johnny came back upstairs, he decided to talk with Plank again.
"Hiya, Plank" said Johnny. "I brought you some- oh my gosh!" He then noticed that Plank's entire face had been erased.

"Speak to me Plank!" Johnny cried. "Noooo!!!" He started sobbing on the floor while holding his dear dead friend.

The next day, Ed, Double-Dee and Eddy were playing with yoyos.

"Up and down, up and down, up and down" said Ed. Nazz, a girl that Ed, Double-Dee and Eddy liked, came over to tell them the bad news.

"You guys, did you hear?" asked Nazz.

"Hear what?" asked Double-Dee.

"Plank passed on" said Nazz.

"He didn't pass us" said Ed. "I would've seen him down the street."

"No, I mean he died" said Nazz in the saddest tone.

"What happened?" asked Double-Dee.

"Someone wiped his face off" said Nazz.

"Oh, that's so sad" said Eddy in a sarcastic tone.

"You inconsiderate jerk" remarked Nazz. She walked away in disgust.

"Eddy, you could've been nicer" said Double-Dee.

"Plank is just a piece of wood" said Eddy.

"I see London, I see France!" shouted Ed for no reason. He then ran off laughing a dumb laugh.

"You see a lot of things, Ed" said Eddy.

Later that day, everyone dressed up in black clothing and went to Plank's funeral. Jimmy came over to comfort Johnny.

"Don't worry, Johnny. If it makes you feel any better, Plank's in a better place now" said Johnny.

"(sniff) Thanks, Jimmy" replied Johnny. When the funeral started, Double-Dee stepped up to the podium to speak.

"We're gathered here today to say goodbye to our dear friend, Plank" said Double-Dee.

"Dear friend my tooth" said Eddy.

"Shh, the master chicken is speaking to us chicks" said Ed.

"You're one obsessed kid" said Eddy.

"Anyway, Plank was a good piece of wood. He's been our friend since Johnny found him five years back" said Double-Dee. More kids began crying in the audience.

"First, Ed will step up and say a few words" said Double-Dee. Ed, wearing a tuxedo, came up to the podium.

"Purple zucchini can be no fun" said Ed. Everyone in the audience was confused.

"Thank you Ed for that comforting message" said Double-Dee. "Now, Johnny will step up to say a few words. Johnny stepped up to the podium and looked at his friend in the small, wooden casket.

"I would like to say." started Johnny. "(sob) I would just like to say. that." He started to break down into tears.

"There, there" said Double-Dee as he hugged Johnny. He announced something through the podium again. "Ladies and gentlemen, we might need a few minutes for Johnny to recover. In the meantime, have some h'orsderves.

"What was so important about Plank anyway?" asked Eddy.

"Are you nuts?" asked Double-Dee. "If it weren't for Plank, everyone in the cu-de-sac wouldn't know each other!"

"What are you talking about?" asked Eddy.

"It started abut five years ago" said Double-Dee.

"Aw man, don't tell me we're going into a flashback" said Eddy.

"Tickle me!" cried Ed.

"As I was saying" began Double-Dee. "It all began five years ago. Six-year-old Eddy had just moved into the neighborhood. His parents had just parked the car in their new garage.

"Eddy, be a good boy and play on your new slide and swing set while mommy and daddy pack our stuff in the new house" said Eddy's mom. Eddy ran out to his new swing set and sat on the swing.

"I'm never gonna make any friends" said Eddy in a sad tone.

Meanwhile, Ed and I were behind the fence looking at Eddy's sad face.

"See that Ed?" I asked. "That's our newest member of the cul-de- sac."

"Yes, yes, yes. He's a sad, little lump" said little Ed.

"Now Ed, be nice to the new child" I said. Just then, Ed saw a one of Rolf's chickens waddle into Eddy's yard.

"Uh oh" I worried. "Now Ed, don't make any sudden movement."

"CHICKEN!!!" shouted Ed. He ran though the fence and landed face first in Eddy's yard. This scared Eddy right off his swing set.

"Who are you guys" asked Eddy as he was shivering.
"Salutations, newcomer" I greeted. "This is Ed, and I am Edd. with two "Ds."

"Hello, I'm Eddy" said Eddy.

"Ed is my test subject. He's like a dear lab rat to me" I said. Ed began starring into the distance.

"Is he okay?" asked Eddy.

"He does that all the time" I said. "He's fantasizing."

"You sure are a brainiac" said Eddy.

Later that night, a three-year-old known as Johnny was in bed. There was a huge thunder storm outside and Johnny had a huge fear of thunder storms. A huge bolt of lightning struck a tree in the forest.

"Whose thewe?" asked Johnny? He then closed his eyes and went to sleep. Everyone in the cul-de-sac heard the lightning bolt strike the tree as well.

The next morning Johnny was outside playing with his truck in the sand. He then decided to go into the forest and look for the tree that was struck by lightning last night. He walked and walked, but he couldn't find the tree.

"Hello? Twee!" called Johnny. Me, Ed and Eddy were in the woods also.

"I'm in my happy place, Double Dee" said Ed.

"Is that Johnny?" asked Eddy. The three boys ran over to him. "What's up, Johnny?"

"I'm looking fow the twee that got hit last night" said Johnny.

"It's got to be around here somewhere" said Double-Dee. Little did the four boys know that the other kids in the cul-de-sac were also in the woods looking for the tree?

"We're here" said Eddy. There sat a tree that had been split in half. In the center, there was a piece of wood sticking up. The other kids in the cul-de-sac were there also.

"Ed, what are you doing here?" asked Sara, Ed's little sister.

"What are YOU doing here, baby sister?" asked Ed. Sara was holding a baby's hand. He looked at least a year old.

"Who's that?" asked Ed.

"This is my new friend, Jimmy" said Sara.

"You have a friend that's a baby?" asked Eddy.

"Don't rub it in" said Sara. Johnny slowly walked over to the tree and pulled out the piece of wood in the center. The wood had been smoothed down naturally, so it looked perfect. Johnny put it down and got out his crayons.

"What's he doing?" asked Nazz. Johnny drew one eye, then another, then a smile.

"Hello, what's youw name?" asked Johnny. "You don't have a name? I'll call you Pwank." Just then, Eddy began rolling on the ground in laughter.

"That's your new best friend? A piece of wood?" he asked.

"Eddy, be nice. He's only three years old" I said.

"You'we my bestest fwiend in the whole wowld, Pwank" said Johnny. He came over to the three Ed boys with his new buddy.

"Thank you fow finding my new best fwiend" said Johnny. "You can have these." He gave them each big, round, white candies.

"What are these called?" asked Eddy.

"Jaw-bweakews" said Johnny. Each Ed tasted them.

"This is the yummiest thing I've tasted in my life!" cried Eddy with a full cheek.

"Mmmm" I said.

"Tastes like chicken" said Ed.
"I want more!" shouted Eddy.

"Sowwy. I onwy had thwee" said Johnny. He and the other cul-de-sac members walked away from the forest.

"We have to find a way to get more jaw-breakers" said Eddy.

"Yeah, but how?" I asked.

"Let's steal people's money" said Eddy.

"Santa's watching you, Eddy" said Ed.

"Who cares? Scams are the best way to get money" said Eddy.

"Alright, I'll be evil. But just this once" I said.

"Jaw-breakerville, here we come" said Eddy. And that's how Johnny met Plank."

"Wow, Double-Dee, you remembered all that?" asked Eddy.

"They don't call me the brains of the group for nothing" said Double- Dee. Just then, he stepped back up to the podium to announce the end of the unusually long intermission.

"Ladies and gentlemen, intermission is over. On with the funeral" said Double-Dee. "We will proceed with Johnny's speech.

"I would like to say that Plank was my best friend. Ever since the day we met him five years ago, we've never stayed apart from each other, that is until last night. We were like two peas in a pod. Like salt and pepper shakers. Like black and white in a cream-filled cookie. He would always help me when I was in need and would always cheer me up when I'm sad. I never knew anyone else that would smile as much as he did. Goodbye, 'ol buddy" said Johnny. Everyone clapped while he sadly walked away from the podium. The speech that Johnny said touched Eddy and brought a tear to his eye. He then ran off to the construction yard to go into a porto-potty. He opened the door a bit and a rabbit hopped over. He sat on the seat and made a confession.

"Hello, little rabbit" said Eddy. "If you can understand me, I'd just like to say that wiped Plank's face off." He then started to cry. "I know it was the wrong thing to do, but I couldn't help it. Johnny's relationship with a piece of wood was driving me crazy." The rabbit turned his ears his ears to the side and hopped away. Just then, Johnny busted in on Eddy's confession.

"Friend killer!" he shouted.

"I like coli flour too" said Ed for no reason.

"Why I outta!" shouted Johnny as he was trying to attack Eddy. Fortunately, Rolf and Double-Dee held him back.

"I know I was wrong to do it" said Eddy. His head then hatched an idea. "C'mon, guys!"

"Where are you going?" asked Sara. "Whatever you're doing, I'm telling mom!"

The three Eds ran back to the funeral. They grabbed Plank's torso out of the small casket and ran to Double-Dee's house.

"What are you doing? We were about to do his burial!" shouted Johnny.

When the three Eds got to Double-Dee's house, they put on surgical masks and put Plank on a hard, cold table.

"Crayon" said Eddy. Ed handed him a crayon and Eddy drew an eye.

"Other crayon" said Eddy. Ed handed Eddy a different color crayon and he drew another eye.

"Other crayon" said Eddy. He got handed a different color crayon and he drew a smile.

"I think we might be able to save him" said Double-Dee. When they were done, they walked outside where the angry mobs of kids were.

"What did you do to Plank?!" asked Johnny in an angry voice.

"Here you go, good as new" said Double-Dee as he was handing Plank to Johnny.

"Plank, you're alive!" cried Johnny as he was hugging his friend.

"I love sappy endings" said Kevin.

"For saving Plank's life, I'll give you a reward" said Johnny. He gave each of the Ed boys a brown, chewy candy.

"What's this?" asked Eddy.

"Butterscotch" said Johnny. The Eds tried the candy that was given to them.

"This just might be the single tastiest thing I've tried in my life" said Eddy.

"So Plank, what was it like being dead?" asked Johnny. "Really? That's not very exciting."

"I need more butterscotch" said Eddy. "I know, we can do scams to buy jaw-breakers AND butterscotch!"

"Ed, we don't need to set up scams for two things" said Double-Dee.

"Let's do scams for chickens!" shouted Ed.

"No!" shouted Double-Dee. "We should've never done scams in the first place! We could've gotten ourselves jobs or did chores for our allowance! Guys, Wait!"

Sorry if that story was more serious than funny, but I tried to at least give Ed funny dialogue.