Part 7: Message Through The Stars
~*~
It is quiet here. No sound, no light, no nothing. Just darkness.
...
I can hear voices.
Voices that make me aware that there are people around me. My body feels heavy, I try to move but every strand of my muscles don't seem to obey my order. My eyelids lift slowly, and the first sight that greets me is a grey ceiling. Grey ... there is a touch of familiarity in that color. Then my eyes search for the source of the voices, I could only see some blurry figures in front of me. My head is having a wild party without my consent, I can't concentrate.
"She is conscious."
"Check her condition!"
"Inform the Grands."
What has it got to do with the Grands? My head ... why is it pounding so much? Footsteps ... I can hear them. So fast, so loud, someone please stop the noises. The light in the room starts to upset my eyes, so I close my eyes and let the darkness soothes me.
"She is not supposed to be conscious yet."
"Is the 'Havus' successful?"
"We can not tell for sure."
"She is in a stable condition."
"She ..."
The voices starts to fade and I come back to the warm and comfortable spell. I put my arms around myself and feel something, search for something ... something that I once held dear and now I lost it.
I miss it.
But what is 'it'? Why do I want it so bad? Floating in uncertainty, I tilt my head and try to be still. Try to think about where I can find 'it'.
What is 'it'?
Where did I loose 'it'?
Why do I miss 'it' so bad?
Why?
...
I can hear voices.
Voices that sound memorable.
"Anyway I'm sorry but it just happens to be how I feel about it. What do you think?"
A curious and passionate voice, the one that I can relate to.
"She is a formidable warrior."
A steady and calm voice, the one that I can trust with my life.
"And? But? So? Therefore?"
An irritated and yet warm voice, the one that I'd love to hear.
I know the owners of these voices.
Or I once knew.
Those are the 'its' that I'm looking for.
~*~
My eyes snap open.
The dream has come back again. The one that always wakes me up before the dawn, as if it is an automatic alarm. The one that has been haunting me for almost 30 planet cycles now, after I had the accident at the workstation. Yanu, the Healer had warned me about this, he said that that is the result of a combination between my head injury and the cure that he gave me.
Kicking my blanket, I leave my resting place and move towards the table in the middle of my room. After pouring myself a glass of water, I walk to the window. I take a sip of the water and watch the city as far as my eyes can see. It's still dark, but the light that is let out from some of the buildings provides some dim silhouettes. It's beautiful, no question about it, but I don't feel a sense of belonging. It's supposed to be my city ... but for me, it's just a block of buildings where the Cayans live.
I stand and take pleasure in looking at the stars. The glittering dots in the black sky, blinking in their grace and shining in their scattered pattern. They are the only thing here that doesn't seem to be out of place.
"Goodnight."
I could hear the stars speak to me. I chuckle softly, if Hunsa ever heard about this, he would've laughed at me. Maybe tell me that I'm out of my mind. But this is my secret. The dawn is drawing near, the sky slowly changes its color from black to orange. I bid my farewell to the sparkling dust, "See you guys tomorrow."
The sun is making an appearance, that means I need to get ready for work.
-------------------------------------------------
"Is it ready?"
I take a last look inside the core of the Tamen, everything is in place. We are good to go, "Yes. Let's try it now."
Hunsa pushes some buttons on the generator's control panel. The generator is humming, everybody inside the workstation is holding their breath. There are several other technicians and all the Grands are here besides us. And then the humming stops.
"Damn." unconsciously I curse, "It's supposed to be working."
"We could try again tomorrow."
"No." stubbornly I examine the core again. It is in working order, it's supposed to work.
"Kisa, it is late. You can do it tomorrow."
I glare at him, "No."
"It is not good for your health. You are still recovering from the accident."
"Hunsa, we need to get this generator working. There is more than my health that is at stake here."
He is taken aback by my words. But it is the truth. In less than 25 planet cycles the Goa'uld will come and attack Cayan, and if I can't get the Tamen working, then it will be the end of Cayan. We have depended on the Tamen for centuries, the Goa'uld are aware of its power and they want to have it. That's why every 600 planet cycles or so they attack Cayan from it's orbit to see if they can penetrate the barrier with their new weapons. I cannot let that happen, not if I can help it.
I turn my attention back to the generator. I check everything again, making sure that I don't miss anything. And an hour later I give up. I give the generator a look of death. Why won't you work, dammit! My frustration is reaching its peak. And the strange sensation that I feel every time I get close to naquada doesn't help either.
Last resort ... I smack the core with my bare hand ... hard.
And the Tamen is humming again.
Still humming ...
"It's working." one of the technicians exclaims cheerfully.
It is?
Everybody else in the room also cheers, "We have to inform the others. The Tamen is working."
"The Cayan are finally free from fears."
"Kisa, you did it. You made the Tamen work." Hunsa put a hand on my shoulder, proud and happy at the same time.
"Well, all it needs is just a good kick, apparently."
Great, have to make a mental note for future projects, don't forget to smack the core of a generator before you decide that it's not working. It could save you loads of time from re-examining the core from scratch.
~*~
It is quiet here. No sound, no light, no nothing. Just darkness.
...
I can see images.
Disturbing images.
Scenes of war, of evil and of heartache.
I'm there. Cradling a weapon of some sort. Dressed in a uniform, fighting side by side with a group of people. People are shouting, weapons are fired, two sides engage in a battle ... in all the chaos we keep on fighting.
I see people die before my eyes, I see people take other's lives in front of me, I see people beg for their life, I see people fight for power and pride, I see people fight for nothing, and then ... I see me.
The images start to blur and I come back to the warm and comfortable spell. I put my arms around myself and search for something ... for an answer.
What war is it?
Where do I fit into this?
Why do I fight this war?
Why?
...
I can see images.
Comforting images.
A girl who has the same hair color as mine, her freckled face is smiling at me.
"Thank you."
That's all she said ... and that's all I need.
A man, an old man, he is also smiling warmly at me.
"I'm proud of you."
Those words are precious, I know that I want to hear it from him. Only from him.
Another man, he has something on his eyes, lenses held by a wire frame.
"You are my best friend."
I don't know him, but I believe in his words.
A big and strong man, with a gold symbol on his forehead.
"It is an honour to have known you."
His words are trustworthy.
And the last one is a man with grey hair and brown eyes.
He doesn't say a word ... he doesn't have to.
His eyes say everything that can not be said.
I know them.
Or I once knew.
They are my family.
~*~
My eyes snap open.
The dreams have changed. For what reason, I simply don't know. But I miss them, I miss my family. The family that I had in my dream. My real family ... doesn't exist. I am an orphan, raised in a local orphanage. I acquired my wisdom by becoming the only apprentice of a well-known scientist, and later on took his place in the Tamen project. Where my main duty is to make sure that the Tamen is to function effectively, thus keeping the Cayan safe from the Goa'uld.
Kicking my blanket, I get up and head straight towards the window, repeating the same routine that I had developed since I had the accident. I look up to the sky and wait patiently for the stars to speak to me.
**********************
"She made it work again."
"She saved us."
"She is loyal and very dedicated."
"Maybe we should tell her the truth now."
"No, if she knows, she would wish to go home."
"We owe her."
"But we cannot share the technology."
"She still deserves to know the truth."
"We cannot read her mind now, it is too uncertain."
"We cannot let her know."
**********************
"How long since she was taken prisoner?"
"Over a month now."
Jacob Carter sighed deeply, his daughter was missing for more than a month now and the Tok'ra High Council only let him know about it just a few days ago. They were afraid that he would abandon his mission for her sake.
"Do you have anything on the planet?"
It was Daniel who answered, "We wonder if Selmac could recognise this planet. We found evidence that an Ancient named Abel was there long ago. And ..."
"Wait, did you say Abel?" Selmac has a memory about this Abel.
Daniel passed along a file folder to him, "Yes, do you know anything about him?"
"Yes, but ..." it couldn't be. He read the files in front of him ... the mission reports from the first visit to Cayan made by the SG-7, Sam's reports on the metal box, and mission reports from the second visit to Cayan made by SG-7 and SG-1. After Jacob finished reading the files, he didn't know whether he was supposed to feel glad or not.
"She is alright."
"Jacob, what makes you say that?" Hammond asked.
"The Cayan are a peaceful race, they need Sam's expertise. That's why they kidnapped her." Daniel and Teal'c exchanged a look.
"For what purpose do they need Major Carter's skill?" Teal'c was the one who asked the question.
Jacob took a deep breath, "The Cayan is a planet that is protected by a shield generator, made specially to repel the Goa'uld. Many Goa'uld have tried to get their hands on the technology, but none of them were successful. Some gave up but some were more persistent. Yu uses the Cayan's shield to test his new weaponry."
"Me?" Daniel frowned.
Jacob looked at him, "Yu as in the System Lord Yu."
"Oh, sorry. Carry on."
"Yu attacks them regularly, he even has a schedule for that because it took time to get a mothership to Cayan so he needs to plan ahead. From your story here, Teal'c managed to get inside Cayan, that means that the shield generator wasn't working. They might of switched it off or it may be broken."
"That's where they need Sam, they want her to fix the generator. She could fix the box, they thought that she could fix the generator as well." Daniel concluded.
"Yes."
"But, I don't get it, can't they fix it themselves?"
"Maybe they just don't have the knowledge for it."
"I see. But why don't they just ask? Sam would of loved to help them for sure."
Jacob looked thoughtful, "They are not allowed to share their technology. It is too dangerous if it falls into the wrong hands."
"But they gave us the box."
"To see if we could fix it. It's just the risk that they had to take, and from the reports that Sam wrote here, the box is not as powerful as the shield generator that they have."
Silence filled the room.
"We have to get her back."
Jacob turned his head to the figure that had just spoken. Colonel Jack O'Neill was gazing at the Stargate, he stood in front of the big window in the briefing room. Jacob noticed that he hadn't said anything since the briefing started.
"I know."
"Jacob, can the Tok'ra spare us a cargo ship?"
"I can arrange that. Why?"
Jack twisted his head to face him, "We're going to Cayan."
**********************
Jack O'Neill watched the stars from the mountain. He fixed his gaze to a particular spot in the sky.
Where she was.
Tomorrow ... he would go and get her.
Every night, he always said goodnight to the stars. When she found out about it, she laughed out loud. They were off-world, on a mineral survey mission, the ones that always made him bored out of his skull. She caught him saying goodnight to the sky when she released him from his watch.
------------------------------
"There's no point in doing that, Sir." she was still laughing, but not loud enough to wake up her other team-mates.
"Of course there is." he insisted.
"Tell me then."
"Well, the stars will carry your message and deliver it to people that you care about. No matter where they are."
"Really?" her tone was rising at the end.
"Yes, I mean people like Skaara and Dad. I always say goodnight to them."
"You say goodnight to Dad?" she looked at him as if not believing a word he said.
"Yeah, of course. Why?"
She was just about to say something, but then she changed her mind, "Nothing."
"I like your Dad." he assured her.
"Sure you do." there was the 'I don't think so' tone again.
"Watch it Major. I don't like what you're implying there." he said playfully.
"And what was I implying exactly?" she played along with him.
He had to resist the urge to ruffle her hair, "Come on Carter. You can say goodnight to your Dad as well."
"With all due respect, Sir. No."
"Why not?"
"Because I don't see how the stars can do the job."
He smiled at that, she always had scientific reasons for anything, "Okay, stand up."
"Sir?"
"Stand up and look at the stars above. Come on." he started to stand up and offered his hand to her.
She took it and pulled herself up. After taking a last look at him, she tilted up her head to see the thousands of those tiny diamonds spread around the dark night sky. He positioned himself behind her and wrapped his arms around her, her head rested on his shoulder. They watched the sky together in the still of the night.
"They are beautiful." she said.
"Can you hear the voice?" he asked.
"What voice?"
"My 'goodnight' voice that I just sent to the sky a while ago."
She giggled, "No."
"Okay, concentrate and listen carefully."
She shook her head in amusement, but she still did it.
"Goodnight." he whispered so softly in her ear.
He watched her smile at that.
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to be continued
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