Betrayal

Part 7~ Cry

I have the best friends in the world…I woke up this morning and couldn't even talk without coughing for like ten minutes straight so after school they brought me an I.C. Caramel from Panera…ooh, I think I just figured out what I.C. stands for…iced cappuccino. Yeah, I can be slow sometimes, lol, I just have to prove that the blonde hair is natural. But anyway, once again, thanks so much for all the great reviews. And I really am sorry that these parts are so short, that's just how it's coming to me and I think that it's made sense for all of them to end where they end. And with shorter chapters I update a lot more often than when they're long chapters. It really used to bug me when people posted really short chapters and I never understood why until now. Sometimes it just works better that way. And, wow, I never thought I'd actually be able to make you people hate Chandler, lol.

Chandler shut the door slowly, very aware of the fact that he was still crying as he got into his car. He wiped his eyes, squeezing them shut in an attempt to stop. Because she was right. He had no right to be the one crying. He'd screwed up. He'd hurt her, not the other way around.

But he'd also hurt himself in the process.

He'd never seriously thought of the consequences. He knew that she'd be hurt, but he'd pushed it out of his mind, telling himself that she would never find out. But there had always been the voice in the back of his head telling him it would hurt her like hell.

But the voice didn't warn him of how bad he was hurting himself.

Not that that even mattered much anyway. Seeing the look on Monica's face was what killed him the most. He'd never seen her that hurt, not with all of their fights, with everything that had been said. And it killed him to know that he was the cause of it. Knowing that he caused her pain was what hurt the most.

Chandler took a deep, shaky breath, watching his breath in the cold air condense as he exhaled slowly. He started the car, looking up at the house before driving away.

"I wanna play in the snow!" Josh jumped up and down. "Please, please, please?"

"You wanna take him out?" Monica looked up at Chandler.

"What, you're not gonna come, too?"

"Someone has to stay in here with Megan."

"C'mon, it's not that cold out, she can come out, too, huh, Megs," he picked up a year-old Megan. "Please, Mon? Come play with us?"

"Yeah, Mom, come play with us?" Josh added, continuing to jump up and down.

Monica laughed at how much the same they were, "Fine."

~

You can't use her as a shield and expect not to get hit by a snowball," Chandler looked at Monica, who was holding Megan.

"Yeah, I can. It's working really well, actually."

Chandler grinned, getting an idea. "Wanna come to Daddy, Megs?" he walked over to where they were standing and Megan held her arms out to him, so Monica handed him the baby. Chandler laughed, picking up a snowball and throwing it at her.

"That was a dirty trick, Bing," Monica warned, trying not to laugh. Josh ran by, throwing another snowball at her, causing Chandler to laugh harder. "And now you've turned my own son against me, too."

"I'm sorry," Chandler laughed, walking back up the sidewalk toward her. "Truce?" he held his hand out to her.

"Yeah, that's what you think," Monica grinned, bending down to make a snowball.

"Hey, you can't throw that at me, I have Megan," he held her out in front of him, and she giggled. "I have Megan," he repeated, taking off running with Monica following, hitting him in the back of the head with the snowball.

"Touché," Chandler turned back to face her in defeat. "Can we go inside now?"

"No!" Josh whined.

"Come on, buddy, it's getting dark out," Monica agreed. "We can have some hot chocolate when we get inside."

"With the colored marshmallow?"

"Yeah, with the colored marshmallows."

Josh stopped to think for a second. "Okay," he gave in, running up to the front door.

"Take your boots and stuff off as soon as you get inside so you don't track snow all over the house," Monica yelled after him, and Chandler laughed, wrapping his arm around he, kissing Megan on the forehead as they headed inside.

Before, all of the fights had run through his head. Fight after fight, threat after threat, tear after tear. It was as if he was subconsciously trying to rationalize his cheating with all of their fights, with everything that had gone wrong between them.

But now he could think of all the good times, too. Every reason he had to stay. Every reason he should have used not to have an affair.

But he hadn't.

Chandler sighed, pulling up in Joey's driveway. He wasn't sure why or how he'd ended up there, but that's where he was. And he really didn't have anywhere else to go. He could go to a hotel, but he had absolutely nothing with him.

He took a deep breath before getting out of the car, hoping to God that Joey would let him stay there, even after he heard why he was there.

"Uncle Chandler!" he was greeted at the door by Joey's youngest son.

"Hey, Tony, is your dad here?"

"Yeah, just a second," he said, running down the hallway. "Dad!"

"Chandler?" Joey appeared at the door a few seconds later. "You okay, man?"

Chandler stepped inside, shutting the door behind him, but not answering Joey's question.

"What happened?"

Chandler almost laughed; that's what Monica had asked him only a few days earlier. "It's kind of a long story," Chandler looked around at Joey's two daughters who were in the family room.

"That's okay, we can go upstairs to the study and talk," Joey offered, genuinely concerned and getting the hint that he didn't want to say anything in front of the kids.

"You might hate me after you know," Chandler looked back at him, and it was then that Joey realized he'd been crying.

"I could never hate you, Chandler," Joey offered a small smile, but he didn't return it. "Come on, man, let's go talk," he patted his shoulder before leading the way upstairs. "So?" Joey asked after he'd closed the door, looking up at Chandler.

Chandler concentrated on a single spot on the rug, not sure of how to tell Joey, but knowing that he didn't want to see the look on his face when he did. Chandler took a deep breath. "I cheated on Monica."

"What?" Joey asked in shock.

"It's just…We've been fighting for so long, and I know that's not an excuse, but…God, I've screwed up in the past, but this," he looked up, and Joey could tell he was trying not to cry.

"Just once or…"

"For four months…four fucking months," Chandler shook his head. "Jessi's husband walked in on us today…and he went straight to Monica to tell her…" he trailed off. "God, I can only imagine how hurt she is right now. And I wouldn't blame her if she didn't forgive me, cause, god, I don't know if I could if this were reversed," he admitted.

"So do you…do you think it's over?"

"I don't know," Chandler sighed, wiping his eyes. "She told me to leave."

Joey paused. "Do you love her?"

"Monica?"

"Yes, Monica."

"Of course I love her."

"And do you love this other women?"

"No! It was just…the biggest, stupidest, longest mistake I've ever made. And it's just…I can't believe this is my life," he sighed.

Joey looked at Chandler, he looked about ten years older than he had a few months earlier, the last time he'd seen him. And then it hit him why. He'd hardly ever seen Chandler not grinning, let alone seen crying. "Do you think 25 years will really be over because of one mistake?"

"We've only been married for 15 years, Joe. And this isn't just some stupid mistake…"

"I know you've been married for 15 years, but you were friends for, what, ten years before that. That's a quarter of a century, Chandler," Joey said softly.

Chandler looked up at Joey, tears in his eyes. "But, god, I don't know if I can even forgive myself, Joe."

"Chandler-"

"And don't defend me. I don't deserve to be defended," he sat down in a chair, facing away from Joey. Joe waited for a couple of minutes before walking over to him, placing his hand on his shoulder, realizing that he hadn't said anything else because he'd finally let himself break down crying.

To

Be

Continued…

Almost two and a half pages, how'd you like them apples. LOL, I've never understood that saying…but there you go…not quite 210250 words (was that the number catnamedzane used…I don't remember…) but not 10 sentences, either. Please review, I'll post the next part as soon as I can…