Betrayal
Part 10~ Breathing
Monica sighed, knowing that with one word, their entire world would change. She looked up and met his eye, the hurt in her own eyes reflected in his. Maybe not for the same reasons, but it was still there. Hurt. And guilt. And more memories than she could count. More hurt than she ever thought she could know, but more happiness than she ever thought could actually be made possible by one person. More betrayal than she'd ever felt, but more love than she'd thought could ever exist.
Blue.
Somewhere in the middle of the clashing thoughts, the unsureness, the arguments in her head, begging her to let him stay, pleading her to make him go, somewhere in the middle of the betrayal, the love, the hurt, the happiness, that was all she saw. Blue. And that was what brought her back to reality.
They had to make it work. They had two very good reasons to at least try and make it work. Two reasons that meant the world to both of them.
But Megan and Josh weren't the only reasons.
They were supposed to be the perfect couple, live the perfect fantasy. Fall madly in love with your best friend and never fall out, live happily ever after. And that's where they were. Somewhere in between, in the part that tends to be left out. But there was still love. They were both still in love. Somewhere, between the fights, the yelling, the lies, the betrayal…Somewhere in there, there was still love.
And they had to at least try.
Monica licked her lips, trying to find her voice. "No," she finally said quietly. "Stay."
"Really?" Chandler asked, relieved, and she just nodded.
"We have to at least try…We have to much not to."
Chandler nodded, letting out a long breath as he thought. "So what now?"
Monica shrugged, taking a step closer to him. "I guess…we make love," she whispered, leaning up to kiss him, their first real kiss in what had seemed like forever.
I'm finding my way back to sanity
Though I don't really know what
I'm gonna do when I get there
Take a breath and hold on tight
Spin around one more time
And gracefully fall back to the arms of grace
Chandler tightened his arms around Monica, trying to chase away all of his doubts. But as much as he wanted to believe that it was just that easy, as easy as it had seemed earlier, he knew that it wasn't.
Sure, they had been good once, really good. But they'd come a long way from the near paradise that they had once known.
And he knew it wasn't that easy. They couldn't just talk and cry and then sleep together and have it all be right again. He knew it didn't work like that.
Chandler closed his eyes, not wanting to think about that. He deeply inhaled, letting Monica's familiar scent comfort him as he started to plant small kisses down her neck, just needing to feel her close.
I am looking past the shadows
Of my mind into the truth and
I'm trying to identify
The voices in my head
God, which one's you
Let me feel one more time
What it feels like to feel
And break these calluses off of me
One more time
"You awake?" Chandler asked softly, hating to break the silence that had overtaken them.
"Mmm-hmm," Monica replied.
"Do we-do we need to talk more or anything right now?"
"I don't know what else there is to be said tonight," Monica rolled over so that she was facing him.
Chandler just nodded, agreeing. "Do you-do you think we're going to be okay?"
Monica paused for a moment. "All we can do is try," she replied honestly, lying her head back down against his chest.
"Yeah," Chandler agreed. "All we can do is try," he whispered, leaning down to kiss her temple.
Chandler just lay there, thinking. Trying was fine with him. That was actually more than he could ask for. He wasn't even sure that he deserved that much of a second chance.
But he wasn't about to argue.
They had a long road ahead of them, a hell of a long road. And it was going to take work, Monica was right about that. It was going to take more yelling and fighting and making up…It was going to take talking. Actually talking to each other again. It was going to take work. And he wasn't sure if in the end it would actually work, but they were trying. And that's all they could do. Try.
This was the beginning. This was where they needed to be. And if they were at least getting the chance to make this work, then this was exactly where he wanted to be.
Chandler sighed, closing his eyes and letting the steady sound of Monica's breathing reassure him, eventually lulling him to sleep as well.
'Cause I am hanging on every word you say
And even if you don't want to speak tonight
That's all right, all right with me
"Cause I want nothing more than
To sit outside heaven's door
And listen to you breathing
Is where I want to be
It's where I want to be
"Breathing" by Lifehouse
Ummm…I think that's it. The end. Fin. Finito. No more. Cuz that's somewhat closure…and I don't know how I would go past this point…this would seriously go on forever if I did, lol. Even though there was pretty much a consensus that most of you wanted Monica to let him stay, a few people didn't want her to forgive him. I, personally, am a very unforgiving person, so I get where that's coming from. But I figure that after that long and with that much of a history and with two kids and all that stuff, they gotta give it another chance. But that's just my thought. So that's it…please review and thanks for reading…I was really worried when I first posted this that no one would like it. Oh, one more thing. A few months ago I wrote a songfic that's pretty much the opposite of this one, Monica cheated on Chandler, to the song "Forgive" by Rebecca Lynn Howard…if anyone's interested I could post it. Sorry 'bout the long AN at the end…but I didn't have one at the beginning cuz I didn't want to give stuff away ;) please review and let me know what you thought…