Part 11: You To Me
He holds me tight, pulling me closer against his body. With my eyes closed, I allow myself to breathe his scent and inhale his aroma. I can hear him repeatedly mutter 'thank God', making me smile against my will.
"Kisa,"
Damn, my eyes snap open. It's Hunsa's voice, he's looking for me. I try to look out to where the voice came from, but a pair of strong arms holds me in my position. Double damn, I'm hugging another man, he cannot see me like this, he could get the wrong idea ... although I'm not even sure that it would be the completely wrong idea. I push the man in front of me and suddenly I regret that decision. Confusion and disappointment are clearly portrayed on his face.
But I don't have time, I take his hand and drag him behind an array of thick plants. There is only one thing on my mind right now, I have to hide him. Somewhere, anywhere, so that Hunsa can not find him.
"Carter, what the Hell are you doing?" He is annoyed, I can tell from the tone of his question, but I ignore him. After I'm sure I find the right spot, I put my hand on his head and push it down so that he's down on the ground. He yelps an indignant 'hey', oh boy, he's not happy. He tries to get up, but I put my hands on his shoulders, restraining him, bending a little as I do it, "Stay here," I plead, "please."
He looks at me, all the annoyance is gone. And then his head nods a little, a small smile escapes from his lips, "Yes, Ma'am."
Now, I'm sure he's mocking me, I know it, I just don't know how exactly.
"Kisa."
Damn, Hunsa's voice is getting louder which means he's getting close. I peak through the thick layers of green leaves, I can see his silhouette in the mild rain. I was planning to go to the entrance and call for him when I feel a tug on my clothes. I look down to see his eyes shoot an accusing gaze at me, "Your husband?"
Husband? I know that word, I heard it somewhere.
"Your partner?" Rephrasing his sentence, he asks the question again.
There's a pang of guilt that stabs my heart. I want to say 'no' because I know it will sadden him if I say 'yes', but I could not bring myself to lie. Not to him.
"Yes."
And then he tugs at my clothes again, "Don't."
"Don't what?" I stare at him in confusion.
"Don't go with him."
I don't know what makes me nod, but I just did. He lets go of my clothes and then I walk away from him, towards the man that I call 'my partner', reluctantly.
"Kisa," I can hear Hunsa calling me once more.
"I'm in here," somehow I manage to call him although my brain seems to go numb as realization dawns. What have I done? I betrayed Hunsa. Even though it was only a hug, it certainly feels like so much more. And his request, he asks for more than that. Somehow, I just know it, and I want to say 'yes' so badly it hurts. It's against everything that I thought I believed.
"Hey," I can feel something touch my cheek. It startles me a bit, my hand instinctively brushes away his hand from my face.
Hunsa is shocked, I can tell from the look on his face.
"Sorry, I was just daydreaming, you made me jump, that's all." I try to explain my earlier behavior.
He frowns, but not for long. "The meeting is finished. Do you want to go back now?" He asks.
"Don't go with him."
The man's voice is ringing in my ears and sneaks inside my subconscious.
"No, no, you go ahead. I have some reading to finish." Shaking my head, I make an excuse that I hope he will buy.
"Are you sure?" Hunsa asks again.
"Yes."
He smiles, "Then I'll leave you with your book alone."
"Thanks." I force out a smile.
He bends down a little to kiss me, but I know that the man is watching me. I don't want him to see me kissing another man, so I step back to avoid it. Damn, damn, damn, Hunsa will be suspicious now, his face is clouded.
"Ah ... you're a little bit wet," I offer the first defense that came across to my mind. Good brain ... very good brain, I owe you for this.
He chuckles a little, "You don't appear to be dry yourself."
I don't? ... oops, he's right. The man was drenched after all when he hugged me.
"Yeah, I was playing in the rain a bit but I'm drying now. Don't want to get wet again." I surprise myself when the lie came out so easily and naturally from my lips. That, and the fact that I could think of such a thing.
"I understand. I'll be waiting for your return at our place." Hunsa takes my hand and squeezes it. He is so sweet and understanding that it takes all my will to not tell him the truth. And then he's gone, swallowed by the white mist caused by the rain.
"Carter," the man's voice. He must've sensed that Hunsa had left and came out from his hiding place.
"Who's Carter?" I turn around and face him. He is just a few steps away from me.
"It's you." I look for a sign of hesitation, a sign that shows he didn't know what he was talking about. No such luck.
"I'm not Carter, I'm Kisa." I tell him.
He smiles and shakes his head, "Stubborn as ever, but you know yourself better than me, Carter ... or Kisa. Whatever you prefer, I don't mind. As long as you're coming back with me."
I raise my eyebrows, "What do you mean?"
"I'll take you back home."
"This is my home."
"No, this is Kisa's home. Not yours."
I eye him carefully, "Explain."
"The Grands did something to you. They put someone else's memory in you."
"That's impossible."
But everything seems to make more sense now. I never felt like I belonged here.
"Why not? It's not your first time anyway." Not my first time? This conversation is getting weirder and weirder by the second.
"Look, Carter," he put a hand on my shoulder, "I know it is a lot to take in, but trust me it's not that bad. At least you recognize me. That's a good sign."
"Is it?" I ask him, "for all I know, you could be a serial killer."
"For crying out loud, you know how much I hate clichés." The corner of my mouth twitches, he continues, "Look, if you know me, there's a good chance that you'll still recognize Daniel and Tealc."
"Who?"
"Daniel, you know. The geeky and nerdy guy who wears glasses, brown hair, blue eyes, who you get along with so well and so much that you once claimed him to be your long lost twin."
"I did?"
"Yeah, and Teal'c is the big burly bald Jaffa, who has a symbol on his forehead. He's hard to miss."
"A Jaffa?"
"Yes, a good Jaffa, I must add. One of your best friends."
They sound familiar, the description matches the people in my dreams, "Then, who is the little girl?"
"Little girl?"
"Yes, I saw her too sometimes in my dreams."
He frowns, "Your dreams?"
"Yes, that's where I saw you too."
He looks thoughtful for a while, "Ah ... yes, that makes sense. It was started with a dream as well on that ice planet as well."
Now it's my turn to frown, "What was started with a dream as well?"
"It's a long story. Anyway, back to your little girl. Does she have a freckled face?"
I merely nod.
"Then, it has to be Cassie. You saved her life, she looks up to you."
"And the old man?"
"Is he bald?"
"No, he's half bald."
"It's Dad."
That's strange, "Why would I be dreaming about your Dad?"
He grins, "Who said he's mine? He's yours."
"Then why did you call my Dad 'Dad'..." I trail as the last word came out from my mouth, there is one possible answer that sprung to mind.
"It's an inside joke. You don't want to know."
"Oh..." I can feel the disappointment and I guess it shows on my face as he looks concerned and asks, "Are you alright?"
I lower my head, "Yeah, why shouldn't I be? I have two best friends, a cute little girl who looks up to me and a Dad. I have a family and I don't remember them at all." Family, the one thing that I want the most, turns out that I have them after all. A finger rests under my chin and lifts it up, brown eyes greets mine.
"Don't worry, you'll get the memory back. Even if you don't, we still love you anyway. Don't you ever forget that."
I cannot tear myself away from those eyes. And then I just know that this is the right time to ask the question that is bothering me the most, "What about you?"
"What about me?"
"What are you to me?"
***
Jack looked at the woman in front of him. The question was simple and innocent and yet it was complicated and difficult at the same time.
What is he to her?
Her team-mate, her comrade in battle, her superior officer, her friend, her shoulder to cry on -- not that she cried a lot -- her place to turn to when things got bad, her secret lover, her ... future?
He never thought that she would ask a question like that, but he always knew what the answer was.
"I cannot say for your behalf what I am to you ... but you are everything to me."
***
Have you ever been to cloud No. 9? No? Me neither. But I believe this is how it would feel like. Delighted doesn't quite cover what I'm feeling right now. I have no care or worry for the world. I have everything that I want in this man. Hes not good with words, I can tell, but his answer can beat any other flattery or compliment that I've ever received.
"Thank you." Sincerely I say it.
"You're welcome." He draws his hand away from my chin and rests it on his side. We fall into a comfortable silence, he is fidgeting with his clothes.
"So..." he starts.
"So..."
He smiles, "I miss this."
"Miss what?"
"Us."
I'm quite sure that I'm blushing at his comment.
"Tell me how we first met." Hoping that he won't notice my embarrassment, I ask him the question.
He grins mischievously, "It's a long story. Let's just say that you made a grand entrance to my world."
"Really?"
"Oh yeah, it's not everyday, an intelligence woman walks into my life and challenges me to an arm wrestling straight away."
I can't help but snort, "You're lying."
He catches my arm, "I wouldn't lie to you, Carter. Not now. Not after what we've been through."
There is silence as he lets his words sink in, "What exactly have we been through?" I ask.
"Do you want the short version or the long one?" He lets go of my arm.
I look at him incredulously, "Short first, but I want to hear the long one after that."
It's his turn to look at me incredulously, "Can't you just pick one?"
"I could, but since you kindly offered me two versions, I prefer to hear both." I innocently say.
"Carterrrrrr."
I love the way he calls me Carter, it feels right, "Yes?"
His shoulders slump as he concedes, "Okay, short version. We met, became team-mates, we fought bad aliens together, died once, got resurrected by aliens with funny hair, fought some more bad aliens, rescued Cassie, found out that Alternate Realities really do exist, mind you that they gave us quite a headache, and then ..."
The stories go on and on. Some are sweet and good, some are gruesome and terrible. I was a Goa'uld once, or Tok'ra to be precise. Then he tells me more about Cassie, Janet, General Hammond, Daniel, Teal'c, Dad, Ska'ara, Martouf, Siler, Davies, a bad guy called Senator Kinsey, Apophis, Hathor, Maybourne, Simmons, and the list goes on and on. About the first memory stamp, about the time-loop, about everything. I found myself clinging to his every word. And then as soon as it started, the story is finished.
" ... Dad and Teal'c obviously can't get through the shield because of Junior and Selmac. And I don't want to bring Daniel along, the Cayans know him, I can't risk it."
"So you decided to go alone."
"Yes."
"Why?"
"Why what?"
"Why did you risk your life to get me back?"
"Silly question," he ruffles my hair, "because it's you."
"Thanks."
"No problem."
He looks at me closely, "So ... are you coming home with me?"
Does he really have to ask? Of course I am. There's no way that I'm letting him go.
He continues, "Because I understand if you say 'no'."
Strange, "Why make you think that I would say 'no'?"
"I know you. That's why?"
"I don't understand."
His eyes darken as he says, "Hunsa."
to be continue
AN: I know … I know. Am trying (note the word 'trying') to write the next part tonight. Thanks to everyone who's been very patient with this story, I've never meant to let it develop this far, but hey, it's done. Might as well go all the way through g. So ... please do send reviews and feedback. It will be cherished, I promise.