Finally I return to the fray of Fanfiction, my loyal readers!
**glances around** Readers...where did you go?
**Tumbleweed flies past with Tan chasing after it**
**Blink**
Okay then...I'LL TRY TO BE LESS DISTURBING IF YOU ALL COME BACK!!!!!
**dead silent**
Aw hell, I guess I'll just write the next few chapters and hope you
guys (and gals) care enough to return...**whine**
Chapter 7: Education and The Appearance of Reviewer Pan!!!!
Vegeta woke facedown on his lawn, his brain buzzing anxiously. Something about Kakkorot......something important he had to remember......
"He's waiting for you in the Idiot Relocation Center, fool!" A cranky sounding voice yelled from the skies.
Vegeta stood looking very much like a paranoid old man. "Who speaks to me?!" He screamed in Sayian-like fashion, his eyes bulging grotesqly from his large vegetable-shaped head.
"I'm not up there you idgit," The voice responded in annoyance.
"Where then? And who are you?!" The prince demanded, looking around wildly.
"Reviewer Pan of course! You may think of me as more of a subconscious conscience thingy though," A small female creature muttered as she stood calmly on his shoulder.
Being the dolt Vegeta could often be, he smashed Reviewer Pan as if she were a small insect.
"Asshole!" She screamed beneath his thumb. "Deadbrained twit, idiot barbarian!"
"Are you done?" Vegeta asked in a show of surprising patience.
"Not quite," The tiny person responded.
"Alrighty then," Vegeta astutely proclaimed with a nod.
**More muffled curses and insults berate his sensitive royal ears**
Vegeta lifted up his thumb and wiped it on his shirt. "Now then, what did you come here for?"
"Hmph," RP muttered crossly. "I came here to warn you of three misfortunes, thank you very much!"
"Do you always squeak like that when you talk?" Vegeta asked, screwing up his face in discomfort and fiddling with his aching ear. "NO!" RP shrieked angrily. "The author's making me speak this way for her own cruel amusement!"
"Cruel amusement, eh? Kinda of like how she's writing this story and making bad things happen to me, right?"
"We're all victims of her evil authory whims," The fairy responded sadly.
Vegeta nodded then resumed with the plot. "Whatever happened to that buffoon Kakkorot?" He asked, not really wanting to know for fear of the worst.
And oh boy, was it gonna be bad.
RP gulped, then shuddered. "You were too late Vegeta," She whispered in fear. "President Bush got to 'im and now there's nothing I or anyone can do."
Vegeta twitched. "You mean to tell me he's going to come sauntering in here in a hideously expensive car licensed by the Whitehouse and further ruin our lives through the evils of Bush?"
"Wow, you pretty much summed up what was going to happen in the rest of the chapter with one sentence," RP stated with a blink.
"Go me!" Vegeta shrieked happily.
But there would no going for Vegeta's "me" for at that very moment Goku was sauntering in a hideously expensive car licensed by the Whitehouse, ready to further ruin Vegeta's life through the evils of Bush.
"Damn," Vegeta muttered. "It's just not fair! I KNEW THAT SENTENCE WAS GOING TO COME BACK AND HAUNT ME!"
**Sentence applies pasty white make-up to haunt Vegeta, grows bored after a couple of fruitless minutes, and erases itself**
"No it didn't!" Vegeta cried. "The sentence is still up there; I can see it!"
"Shut up," Kayfig mutters irritably. "Can't you see you're ruining the comedy of my genius tortu-I mean storytelling?!"
"Torture is right," screamed RP. "Look at me! I talk in a high- pitched voice remiscent of one of those annoying Japanese school girl animes AND I'm a fricking fairy! You said I was going to appear as-"
"I never said what you were going to be, so silence yourselves! Besides.....Goku's getting impatient and horny in that stupid car, and I need to get to that part I previewed in my last chapter!"
"No way!" Vegeta whined. "I don't want that weirdo coming on to me!!!"
"Don't you mean 'on top of you'?" The writer snickered evilly.
"EEW-NO!!!! SICKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!" "SHUT UP!" RP roared furiously. "The longer we fight about it, the longer this damn chapter's gonna last!!!!"
"So? What's so bad about that?" Kayfig asks in all oblivious innocence.
**Is glared venomously at**
"Okayyyyy then," The author mumbles, laughing nervously. "I'll just be going on my sweet little way......"
**Author disappears**
**Story resumes**
Goku climbed out of the car wearing a business suit and cheap lipstick.
Vegeta's jaw dropped and RP began to gag violently. I mean...it IS pretty disgusting when you think about it! (Ka: YECH! **makes face)
"Legislative Branch, edugimated kittens." Goku muttered dazedly.
"KAKKAROT-SNAP OUT OF IT!"
"Yes, I would like to sleep with you. Do you mind a threesome?"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" Vegeta screamed, twitching madly. "BUSH IS A LEADER OF EVIL, EVIL!!!!!"
"Now don't be that way about it," The brainwashed Goku cooed. "The President's gonna rock your world, honey-he's gonna rock your world ALLLLLLLLL night long!"
Vegeta went into spasms.
Pan: Is that ALL?
Kayfig: For now, yes.
Vegeta: **whimpers** He's gonna rape me isn't he?
Kayfig: -.- Wellllllll....I wasn't exactly planning to go THAT far......
Vegeta: MAKE HIM STOP! **sobbing** MAKE THE EVIL OF BUSH STOP!!!
Kayfig: **shakes head sadly** Bush's evil will never be stopped until he's impeached or his term runs out.
Pan: Did you know I'm from the Netherlands?
Kayfig: **nods**
Pan: Okay then. ^_^
Vegeta: **still hysterical*
So uh....yeah. Tune in next time or Bush will be paying you a little visit veryyyyyyyyyyy soon! **shudders**
Preview of Chapter 8:
After Goku is dumbed down to his normal 'ol self, trouble appears to be brewing on the horizon. What did Reviewer Pan do that was so bad as to alter the very membrane of time and space itself? And why the hell is everybody home so early from their camping trip?!
And why can't I get a decent slice of cheese around here, huh? Man......sometimes life just isn't fair, 'ya know?
Oh well.
Toodles!
~Kayfig ^_~
Chapter 7: Education and The Appearance of Reviewer Pan!!!!
Vegeta woke facedown on his lawn, his brain buzzing anxiously. Something about Kakkorot......something important he had to remember......
"He's waiting for you in the Idiot Relocation Center, fool!" A cranky sounding voice yelled from the skies.
Vegeta stood looking very much like a paranoid old man. "Who speaks to me?!" He screamed in Sayian-like fashion, his eyes bulging grotesqly from his large vegetable-shaped head.
"I'm not up there you idgit," The voice responded in annoyance.
"Where then? And who are you?!" The prince demanded, looking around wildly.
"Reviewer Pan of course! You may think of me as more of a subconscious conscience thingy though," A small female creature muttered as she stood calmly on his shoulder.
Being the dolt Vegeta could often be, he smashed Reviewer Pan as if she were a small insect.
"Asshole!" She screamed beneath his thumb. "Deadbrained twit, idiot barbarian!"
"Are you done?" Vegeta asked in a show of surprising patience.
"Not quite," The tiny person responded.
"Alrighty then," Vegeta astutely proclaimed with a nod.
**More muffled curses and insults berate his sensitive royal ears**
Vegeta lifted up his thumb and wiped it on his shirt. "Now then, what did you come here for?"
"Hmph," RP muttered crossly. "I came here to warn you of three misfortunes, thank you very much!"
"Do you always squeak like that when you talk?" Vegeta asked, screwing up his face in discomfort and fiddling with his aching ear. "NO!" RP shrieked angrily. "The author's making me speak this way for her own cruel amusement!"
"Cruel amusement, eh? Kinda of like how she's writing this story and making bad things happen to me, right?"
"We're all victims of her evil authory whims," The fairy responded sadly.
Vegeta nodded then resumed with the plot. "Whatever happened to that buffoon Kakkorot?" He asked, not really wanting to know for fear of the worst.
And oh boy, was it gonna be bad.
RP gulped, then shuddered. "You were too late Vegeta," She whispered in fear. "President Bush got to 'im and now there's nothing I or anyone can do."
Vegeta twitched. "You mean to tell me he's going to come sauntering in here in a hideously expensive car licensed by the Whitehouse and further ruin our lives through the evils of Bush?"
"Wow, you pretty much summed up what was going to happen in the rest of the chapter with one sentence," RP stated with a blink.
"Go me!" Vegeta shrieked happily.
But there would no going for Vegeta's "me" for at that very moment Goku was sauntering in a hideously expensive car licensed by the Whitehouse, ready to further ruin Vegeta's life through the evils of Bush.
"Damn," Vegeta muttered. "It's just not fair! I KNEW THAT SENTENCE WAS GOING TO COME BACK AND HAUNT ME!"
**Sentence applies pasty white make-up to haunt Vegeta, grows bored after a couple of fruitless minutes, and erases itself**
"No it didn't!" Vegeta cried. "The sentence is still up there; I can see it!"
"Shut up," Kayfig mutters irritably. "Can't you see you're ruining the comedy of my genius tortu-I mean storytelling?!"
"Torture is right," screamed RP. "Look at me! I talk in a high- pitched voice remiscent of one of those annoying Japanese school girl animes AND I'm a fricking fairy! You said I was going to appear as-"
"I never said what you were going to be, so silence yourselves! Besides.....Goku's getting impatient and horny in that stupid car, and I need to get to that part I previewed in my last chapter!"
"No way!" Vegeta whined. "I don't want that weirdo coming on to me!!!"
"Don't you mean 'on top of you'?" The writer snickered evilly.
"EEW-NO!!!! SICKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!" "SHUT UP!" RP roared furiously. "The longer we fight about it, the longer this damn chapter's gonna last!!!!"
"So? What's so bad about that?" Kayfig asks in all oblivious innocence.
**Is glared venomously at**
"Okayyyyy then," The author mumbles, laughing nervously. "I'll just be going on my sweet little way......"
**Author disappears**
**Story resumes**
Goku climbed out of the car wearing a business suit and cheap lipstick.
Vegeta's jaw dropped and RP began to gag violently. I mean...it IS pretty disgusting when you think about it! (Ka: YECH! **makes face)
"Legislative Branch, edugimated kittens." Goku muttered dazedly.
"KAKKAROT-SNAP OUT OF IT!"
"Yes, I would like to sleep with you. Do you mind a threesome?"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" Vegeta screamed, twitching madly. "BUSH IS A LEADER OF EVIL, EVIL!!!!!"
"Now don't be that way about it," The brainwashed Goku cooed. "The President's gonna rock your world, honey-he's gonna rock your world ALLLLLLLLL night long!"
Vegeta went into spasms.
Pan: Is that ALL?
Kayfig: For now, yes.
Vegeta: **whimpers** He's gonna rape me isn't he?
Kayfig: -.- Wellllllll....I wasn't exactly planning to go THAT far......
Vegeta: MAKE HIM STOP! **sobbing** MAKE THE EVIL OF BUSH STOP!!!
Kayfig: **shakes head sadly** Bush's evil will never be stopped until he's impeached or his term runs out.
Pan: Did you know I'm from the Netherlands?
Kayfig: **nods**
Pan: Okay then. ^_^
Vegeta: **still hysterical*
So uh....yeah. Tune in next time or Bush will be paying you a little visit veryyyyyyyyyyy soon! **shudders**
Preview of Chapter 8:
After Goku is dumbed down to his normal 'ol self, trouble appears to be brewing on the horizon. What did Reviewer Pan do that was so bad as to alter the very membrane of time and space itself? And why the hell is everybody home so early from their camping trip?!
And why can't I get a decent slice of cheese around here, huh? Man......sometimes life just isn't fair, 'ya know?
Oh well.
Toodles!
~Kayfig ^_~