"Go on Frodo, it'll be easy."
"Easy for you Meriadoc Brandybuck. You'll be hiding safe here!"
"Don't worry cousin Frodo, I'm coming too" piped up Pippin.
"Oh, that's an encouraging thought" muttered Frodo.
It was all right for Merry and Pippin, they'd done this a thousand times.
"I don't think it's right, stealing Farmer Maggots mushrooms." Ventured Frodo.
"Frodo, Frodo, everyone lifts food from old Maggot. It's a Buckland tradition." Argued Merry. "Besides, it's the only way we'll get mushrooms for tea tonight."
"Best mushrooms in the whole of the Shire." Boasted Pippin.
"Alright." Said Frodo. "I'll take those silly mushrooms so long as Pip comes with me."
"Great, now, do we all know what we're doing?" Asked Pippin.
"Yes, I'll stay here a keep watch, and if old Maggot comes along I'll hoot like a barn owl." Confirmed Merry. He then gave a small demonstration.
"Yes, yes, very good." Pippin said hurriedly. "Meanwhile Frodo and I shall go and...er...borrow the mushrooms. Now Frodo remember, I'll hid in the reeds next to the pond while you get the mushrooms. Grab about nine before coming back to meet me. Then when the coast is clear I'll run off with the mushrooms, if Maggot sees me I'll just say I found this bag while on my way to see him."
"It certainly looks like it's been in a ditch." Interjected Merry. Giving the bag a sidelong look. It was old and dirty and somewhat smelly. It belonged to Pippin which Frodo felt explained it's looks and rather pungent smell. It smelt like Pippin's room in Great Smials, the home of the Tooks.
"Then about five minutes later you'll come and if farmer Maggot sees you you'll just say that you're on your way to visit him." Continued Pippin ignoring Merry's remark.
Frodo felt that he had never hear a plan where so many things could go wrong. And he was also painfully aware that if anything was to go wrong it would be he who would take the fall. But it was his own fault, he let himself be talked into this. He would be more believable if they were caught than Merry and Pippin as he was older and, according to the Hobbit elders more sensible, thought he didn't feel it.
"Right," said Merry "Off you go."
Frodo and Pippin ran from the cover of the cornfield, across the paddock where Pippin narrowly avoided be kick into the middle of next week by one of Farmer Maggot's ponies and into the bulrushes next to Maggots duck pond.
"All right Frodo," said Pippin breathlessly "Remember, we only need about nine mushrooms. Now be quick and listen out for Merry warning."
With that Pippin gave Frodo a small push out of the rushes and quickly withdrew into the depths of the greenery until all you could see where his bright birdlike eyes peeping out.
Frodo dashed across to the mushrooms and began to hurriedly pick them.
"Big ones, the big ones Frodo!" Pippin called in a loud whisper from the rushes. Frodo snorted, it was all right for him, he was safe in the rushes while Frodo was out here risking life and limb for some fungi.
Then he heard the sound that he had dreaded.
"Whhhooooooohhwww!!!"
"Frodo," yelped Pippin, "Maggots coming!"
Frodo dropped his mushrooms and ran for the rushes, but he didn't run fast enough.
"Hoy! You! Stop! Thief!"
Frodo hesitated, if he headed to the pond than he would put Pippin in danger, he was only very young and easily scared. If he ran to the cornfield he would put Merry in danger. There was only one thing for it. Frodo turned and ran across the farmyard, jumped the fence and ran into the wood next to the farm. He ran blindly on until he stopped, gasping for breath, that is until he hear barking in the distance and farmer Maggots gruff voice
"Come on Ripper my lad, we'll soon find that young varmint and make him pay for those mushrooms."
Frodo's eyes when wide with fear, he had hear Merry telling stories about Maggot's dogs,
"Great, huge, black devils they are," he had said, "with fangs big enough to tear you in two and mad glowing eyes. There's this rumour that he breed the from Wargs, you know," his voice lowered into a conspiratorially whisper, "they giant wolves that Orcs ride on. Thought I heard it from Rorry Brandybuck and you what he's like for the tall tales. "
Out here in the wood it was very easy to believe all of Rorry's stories about old Maggot. Poor Frodo thought he was surely going to end up as 'Ripper's' dinner when salvation came in a most unlikely form.
"Well hello there, Frodo my lad." Said a familiar voice.
"Bilbo?" Gasped Frodo.
"Yes, who did you think it was? Now what seems to be the trouble?"
From the distance there came the sound of a dog on the scent.
"Ahhh, I see. You probably deserve what's coming to you, you young rascal. However I do enjoy a good chase." Bilbo's face gave a conspiratorially grin.
"Well what should we do?" Asked Frodo, panicking "I don't what to be a dog's dinner!"
"Up the trees, my lad! The trees!"
"The trees?! Are you mad?! I can't climb trees!"
"Nonsense, my dear boy, anyone can climb a tree. You don't what to get eaten by those dogs, do you?"
"No, but...."
"No buts. Up you go."
With that Bilbo climbed up a medium sized oak tree with low, wide branches and pulled Frodo up after him.
"Hehehehe! This takes me back! Did I ever tell you about the time I was nearly eaten by wild Wargs.....?"
Frodo had already hear that tale several times but thought it best to humour his uncle as he had just saved him from farmer Maggot. Also Frodo didn't trust himself for if he did open his mouth to reply one of to things might happen.... A: he would scream or B: he would be sick. As a Hobbit, Frodo hated highs. His branch was very uncomfortable too and Frodo was beginning to feel that being eaten by a giant dog wasn't the worst thing in the world when all of a sudden Bilbo stopped talking a motioned for silence. Frodo could hear someone muttering below.
"Now, now, my lad what's the problem. The trail stops here eh? We I never hear of no Hobbit climbing trees...except old Bilbo Baggins. Well my lad, we'll just have to head back to the farmhouse. I'd bet that young whippersnapper had some help."
Frodo heard farmer Maggot leave with his dog and let out a sigh of relief.
"Now we just wait a little while till we're sure he's gone." Bilbo whispered.
They waited for about five minuets before Bilbo sounded the all clear and they came down, Frodo some what greener from when he went up.
"Errr thanks." Frodo said, slightly embarrassed.
"Oh not at all, my boy. Best fun I've had in ages. Ever since the last time Gandalf visited, in fact."
Bilbo lead the way through the wood as they walked in silence.
"So do you?" He asked after a time.
"Huh? Do I what?"
"Have any friends who..er..helped you?"
"Oh heck! Merry and Pippin! I had almost forgot about them! Sorry uncle Bilbo but I really must go!"
"Not at all, Frodo. Oh, yes, you must come and visit me sometimes. And bring your friends too."
"Of-course, I'll visit you as soon as possible. See you soon!"
"Bye then!" Bilbo called after him.
Frodo ran back to the farm but saw no sign of Merry or Pippin. He crept round the far side of the paddock to the cornfield, he was worried now. What if they'd been eaten?
"FRODO!?"
Frodo jumped about ten foot into the air.
"MERRY! PIPPIN?!"
"We'd thought you'd been eaten!"
"I'd thought you'd been eaten!"
Frodo saw that Pippin's hair was wet and his face was streaked with mud. Merry had in his hair bits of grass and moss.
"What happened Frodo? How on earth did you manage to escape?" Asked Merry.
"I climbed a tree."
"You?" Asked Pippin disbelieving
"Yes, me. Bilbo helped."
"Bilbo? Bilbo Baggins?"
"Yes."
"Wow!"
"So what happened while I was climbing trees?"
"Oh not much," replied Merry "Pippin jumped into the pond which was quite funny to watch and I ran through three fields then I fell into a ditch."
"Nothing interesting then?" Frodo asked sarcastically.
"Not as interesting as climbing trees." Replied Pippin.
"And I suppose it has all been a waste of time?" Frodo stated half-heartedly, for if you remember Frodo had dropped his mushrooms.
"Not exactly." Said Pippin smugly. He turned his bag (which was as wet as he was) upside down and tipped out three very large mushrooms.
"Oh Pippin! How ever did you manage it?"
"Well, while old Maggot was off chasing you up trees I snuck off a got the mushrooms you had very carelessly dropped. They are a bit wet but they will soon dry. So we will all have mushrooms tonight thanks to me. You may all give me the praise I am due." Pippin looked expectantly at them.
Frodo laughed and in one swift movement took the wet, empty bag off Pippin and wrung it over Pippins overly large head.
The End
"Easy for you Meriadoc Brandybuck. You'll be hiding safe here!"
"Don't worry cousin Frodo, I'm coming too" piped up Pippin.
"Oh, that's an encouraging thought" muttered Frodo.
It was all right for Merry and Pippin, they'd done this a thousand times.
"I don't think it's right, stealing Farmer Maggots mushrooms." Ventured Frodo.
"Frodo, Frodo, everyone lifts food from old Maggot. It's a Buckland tradition." Argued Merry. "Besides, it's the only way we'll get mushrooms for tea tonight."
"Best mushrooms in the whole of the Shire." Boasted Pippin.
"Alright." Said Frodo. "I'll take those silly mushrooms so long as Pip comes with me."
"Great, now, do we all know what we're doing?" Asked Pippin.
"Yes, I'll stay here a keep watch, and if old Maggot comes along I'll hoot like a barn owl." Confirmed Merry. He then gave a small demonstration.
"Yes, yes, very good." Pippin said hurriedly. "Meanwhile Frodo and I shall go and...er...borrow the mushrooms. Now Frodo remember, I'll hid in the reeds next to the pond while you get the mushrooms. Grab about nine before coming back to meet me. Then when the coast is clear I'll run off with the mushrooms, if Maggot sees me I'll just say I found this bag while on my way to see him."
"It certainly looks like it's been in a ditch." Interjected Merry. Giving the bag a sidelong look. It was old and dirty and somewhat smelly. It belonged to Pippin which Frodo felt explained it's looks and rather pungent smell. It smelt like Pippin's room in Great Smials, the home of the Tooks.
"Then about five minutes later you'll come and if farmer Maggot sees you you'll just say that you're on your way to visit him." Continued Pippin ignoring Merry's remark.
Frodo felt that he had never hear a plan where so many things could go wrong. And he was also painfully aware that if anything was to go wrong it would be he who would take the fall. But it was his own fault, he let himself be talked into this. He would be more believable if they were caught than Merry and Pippin as he was older and, according to the Hobbit elders more sensible, thought he didn't feel it.
"Right," said Merry "Off you go."
Frodo and Pippin ran from the cover of the cornfield, across the paddock where Pippin narrowly avoided be kick into the middle of next week by one of Farmer Maggot's ponies and into the bulrushes next to Maggots duck pond.
"All right Frodo," said Pippin breathlessly "Remember, we only need about nine mushrooms. Now be quick and listen out for Merry warning."
With that Pippin gave Frodo a small push out of the rushes and quickly withdrew into the depths of the greenery until all you could see where his bright birdlike eyes peeping out.
Frodo dashed across to the mushrooms and began to hurriedly pick them.
"Big ones, the big ones Frodo!" Pippin called in a loud whisper from the rushes. Frodo snorted, it was all right for him, he was safe in the rushes while Frodo was out here risking life and limb for some fungi.
Then he heard the sound that he had dreaded.
"Whhhooooooohhwww!!!"
"Frodo," yelped Pippin, "Maggots coming!"
Frodo dropped his mushrooms and ran for the rushes, but he didn't run fast enough.
"Hoy! You! Stop! Thief!"
Frodo hesitated, if he headed to the pond than he would put Pippin in danger, he was only very young and easily scared. If he ran to the cornfield he would put Merry in danger. There was only one thing for it. Frodo turned and ran across the farmyard, jumped the fence and ran into the wood next to the farm. He ran blindly on until he stopped, gasping for breath, that is until he hear barking in the distance and farmer Maggots gruff voice
"Come on Ripper my lad, we'll soon find that young varmint and make him pay for those mushrooms."
Frodo's eyes when wide with fear, he had hear Merry telling stories about Maggot's dogs,
"Great, huge, black devils they are," he had said, "with fangs big enough to tear you in two and mad glowing eyes. There's this rumour that he breed the from Wargs, you know," his voice lowered into a conspiratorially whisper, "they giant wolves that Orcs ride on. Thought I heard it from Rorry Brandybuck and you what he's like for the tall tales. "
Out here in the wood it was very easy to believe all of Rorry's stories about old Maggot. Poor Frodo thought he was surely going to end up as 'Ripper's' dinner when salvation came in a most unlikely form.
"Well hello there, Frodo my lad." Said a familiar voice.
"Bilbo?" Gasped Frodo.
"Yes, who did you think it was? Now what seems to be the trouble?"
From the distance there came the sound of a dog on the scent.
"Ahhh, I see. You probably deserve what's coming to you, you young rascal. However I do enjoy a good chase." Bilbo's face gave a conspiratorially grin.
"Well what should we do?" Asked Frodo, panicking "I don't what to be a dog's dinner!"
"Up the trees, my lad! The trees!"
"The trees?! Are you mad?! I can't climb trees!"
"Nonsense, my dear boy, anyone can climb a tree. You don't what to get eaten by those dogs, do you?"
"No, but...."
"No buts. Up you go."
With that Bilbo climbed up a medium sized oak tree with low, wide branches and pulled Frodo up after him.
"Hehehehe! This takes me back! Did I ever tell you about the time I was nearly eaten by wild Wargs.....?"
Frodo had already hear that tale several times but thought it best to humour his uncle as he had just saved him from farmer Maggot. Also Frodo didn't trust himself for if he did open his mouth to reply one of to things might happen.... A: he would scream or B: he would be sick. As a Hobbit, Frodo hated highs. His branch was very uncomfortable too and Frodo was beginning to feel that being eaten by a giant dog wasn't the worst thing in the world when all of a sudden Bilbo stopped talking a motioned for silence. Frodo could hear someone muttering below.
"Now, now, my lad what's the problem. The trail stops here eh? We I never hear of no Hobbit climbing trees...except old Bilbo Baggins. Well my lad, we'll just have to head back to the farmhouse. I'd bet that young whippersnapper had some help."
Frodo heard farmer Maggot leave with his dog and let out a sigh of relief.
"Now we just wait a little while till we're sure he's gone." Bilbo whispered.
They waited for about five minuets before Bilbo sounded the all clear and they came down, Frodo some what greener from when he went up.
"Errr thanks." Frodo said, slightly embarrassed.
"Oh not at all, my boy. Best fun I've had in ages. Ever since the last time Gandalf visited, in fact."
Bilbo lead the way through the wood as they walked in silence.
"So do you?" He asked after a time.
"Huh? Do I what?"
"Have any friends who..er..helped you?"
"Oh heck! Merry and Pippin! I had almost forgot about them! Sorry uncle Bilbo but I really must go!"
"Not at all, Frodo. Oh, yes, you must come and visit me sometimes. And bring your friends too."
"Of-course, I'll visit you as soon as possible. See you soon!"
"Bye then!" Bilbo called after him.
Frodo ran back to the farm but saw no sign of Merry or Pippin. He crept round the far side of the paddock to the cornfield, he was worried now. What if they'd been eaten?
"FRODO!?"
Frodo jumped about ten foot into the air.
"MERRY! PIPPIN?!"
"We'd thought you'd been eaten!"
"I'd thought you'd been eaten!"
Frodo saw that Pippin's hair was wet and his face was streaked with mud. Merry had in his hair bits of grass and moss.
"What happened Frodo? How on earth did you manage to escape?" Asked Merry.
"I climbed a tree."
"You?" Asked Pippin disbelieving
"Yes, me. Bilbo helped."
"Bilbo? Bilbo Baggins?"
"Yes."
"Wow!"
"So what happened while I was climbing trees?"
"Oh not much," replied Merry "Pippin jumped into the pond which was quite funny to watch and I ran through three fields then I fell into a ditch."
"Nothing interesting then?" Frodo asked sarcastically.
"Not as interesting as climbing trees." Replied Pippin.
"And I suppose it has all been a waste of time?" Frodo stated half-heartedly, for if you remember Frodo had dropped his mushrooms.
"Not exactly." Said Pippin smugly. He turned his bag (which was as wet as he was) upside down and tipped out three very large mushrooms.
"Oh Pippin! How ever did you manage it?"
"Well, while old Maggot was off chasing you up trees I snuck off a got the mushrooms you had very carelessly dropped. They are a bit wet but they will soon dry. So we will all have mushrooms tonight thanks to me. You may all give me the praise I am due." Pippin looked expectantly at them.
Frodo laughed and in one swift movement took the wet, empty bag off Pippin and wrung it over Pippins overly large head.
The End