Disclaimer for "Chapter Eight: As Further in we Fall": Yes, that disclaimer before chapter one was a disclaimer for the entire story, but this, like the one in chapter four, is special, because it has a more specific element to disclaim… I do not own the crystal cave. That belongs to Mary Stewart, sort of, I borrowed it from her loverly book The Crystal Cave which I read three years ago and adored, and of course I added my own things and insights into it… :: grins at Jess (S.) – hon, make of it what you will, I'd like to see what you come up w/ ::

Chapter Eight

As Further in we Fall

Demetrius Petranni felt a shock pierce the numb sort of anticipation he had previously been feeling, it was a bit like lightning flashing across a stormy, yet silent and rainless, sky… His "daughter" had spoken to him in English, in her native language… And not in any warm or intimate manner either. He didn't know quite what to make of it. He knew that had they been in Australia, this sort of blatant insubordination could have merited her three days in the stocks in the square. But they were not in Australia any longer, and even if they had been, he would not have put her to it… Surprising as that may seem to those of you to whom I am telling this tale.

Not wanting to contemplate it any further, he pushed the thought, which he found strangely disturbing, for a reason he could not quite fathom, out of his mind. Attempting to keep his mind blank, and for good reason, he pushed further into the cave. Holding with him a lit muggle torch, he knew his attempts were all in vain. Although he managed to contain a roughly thoughtless state of mind, he could not stop the raw emotion from meandering its way through his conscience.

After what seemed like only moments, he led her into an area deep in the cave that seemed so dark that had Demetrius not brought with him the torch, he had an eerie feeling that perhaps the two might be lost forever in the pitch black of the place… So dark and vacant and endless that it seemed reminiscent of a vacuum way out in a very secluded part of the universe. He knew the legacy of the cave, and for a moment he feared that perhaps they had in fact ventured into a vacuum, way out in a very secluded part of the universe… For what had to have been hours the two meandered through the seemingly-endless cave, in the pitch black, the darkness enveloping them, and claiming them to be its own. Step after step they ventured forward, and he could not help but wonder why it was that she trusted him enough to follow, after all the things he had done to her, he certainly wouldn't have were he in her shoes… A temporary lapse of judgement? Perhaps, but he doubted this, knowing his daughter's capabilities and capacity, he found such a thing difficult to imagine, and determined that she was perhaps armed… Perhaps she had an agenda of her own… He shivered at the thought. After all, he was taking her to a place that was perfect, in its secluded and mystical envelope in the universe, for the execution of any diabolical or illegal activity… Ideal for the "perfect crime." It occurred to him that perhaps he was setting himself up for a death trap… And he discovered that in such a case he really did not care, he was not afraid of death, to the contrary, he would have prayed for death had not he felt unworthy of God, it was the plight of those who survived him that chilled him to the core.

In silence he continued, aware of his mission… Of what he had to do, not sure of whether or not he wanted to be successful, but feeling as though he had no choice in the matter. Of course, this was incorrect to say the least, one always has a choice, whether or not one is aware of it… Even at gunpoint one has a choice of what action one will take, one can chose to be insubordinate to the gunman's wishes and risk a bullet to the head… But perhaps the only way that Demetrius Petranni could go on existing, the only way he could live with himself day in and day out, was by convincing himself that he had no choice, not now and not ever in his past… It is an unfortunate way to exist, and too many people, hearts and minds, are caged in this sort of self-built prison. Indeed, he knew exactly what he felt he had to do, but whether or not he wanted to do it was another story entirely, a story to which he himself did not know the words nor the plot.

Pushing through the darkness as though on some sort of twisted crusade, he finally found what he was looking for, the crystal mirror… The crystal mirror that made legendary this crystal cave… He looked into it, that mystical magic which changed the world countless times over, and yet went almost entirely unknown to most in the world. His late wife had brought him here several times in their youth, and it was in this place that his daughter was conceived… But his daughter did not know that, and he was not about to share that thought with her. He wanted to touch the crystal, but he knew that it was not to him to do so… And he could just see Aurora standing there before him, nineteen years old all over again… Young and naïve, sweet and dreaming, innocent and captivating and warm and loving… And all of those things that the old find in their romanticized memory of youth. She was like a young flower, stars in her blue eyes, a tint of cherry-fire in her long, long golden hair, white-gold her ivory-fair skin, her beautiful heart pouring out of her, so that she was entrenched in an angelic sort of beauty, such a beauty that he could not touch her, that his breath stilled to gaze upon her, and that his heart broke at the very sight. He was completely overpowered by his love for her. Her voice, like a heavenly song, so young and so divine, he heard as though it had been yesterday when she told him the secrets of this place… How many times the fate of the universe had been written here, it stole the words from the mouth, it was almost as though God acted through this very envelope in time and space… But there was more to the crystal cave than even they, Aurora and Demetrius, two seemingly inconsequential people who happened to be young and in love, knew, and little did they know that in what transpired between them there, they were repeating history to so exact an yet unique and personal a level that even Ghandi, even Dumbledore, even the greatest of all the timeless sages, could not have contemplated it nor grasped it fully.

In reverence of the place and all it represented and all it had meant, meant through the years past, meant now, and meant for all the years to come, he felt that he could not use magic here. This place was timeless. So much had happened here: he could hear the stories emanating from the walls, whispering to him, in a flash he could see all the people who had born their hearts here, he could taste and feel their tragedies, their travails, their happiness, their star-crossed fate, their love… Their life. It was exactly as it was when first he came, but it was different, because then he had been young, he had had his love by his side, his heart had been warmed, he had had memories and adventures to fill this place up with, in short, he had had real hope, real life; but now, now he was old, this place was in his past and not his future, and by the feeling in his bones he knew, somehow, that this was the last time he would ever see this place, and it seemed to him, his memories so real and all at once distant that it was painful, like a once-great city deserted and gone to ruin… He stood there, staring out, in the dark, dank cold which stank of mystery and memory, remembering the nights when it had been so warm and ardent and lit by heaven's light, remembering that his heart was truly here… And remembering that that was why he was here in the first place.

He turned to Alina, and realized she was already standing beside him, just as Aurora had stood… And although Alina had his darker, saphartic skin, his height, his shape of face, his shape of eye, his name… Although her hair was darker, although she was only genetically half of Aurora, he could see his wife in his daughter. He saw in Alina the same overpowering beauty, although, a different sort of overpowering beauty… Which was to be expected, as his feelings for Alina were paternal (at least in a rough, primitive sense), not romantic as they had been for Aurora. He saw her standing there in her mother's place, and he saw that she had the same stars there in those differently colored yellow-green irises. He heard the same young, divine (though differently accented), heavenly-song-of-a-voice as she spoke. He saw Aurora standing there in a different skin. He saw Aurora looking out through his daughter's eyes, and it took his breath away, like a "sucker-punch" to the stomach, stilling the breath within him. It was a sign, an omen of some sort, he was certain of it, though as to what that omen was and what it meant he had no idea.

It was then, in an uncharacteristically trembling voice, that he spoke to her once more. "Auror-… Alina, you must listen to me very carefully," she looked skeptical and cynical, a trait, no doubt, she had inherited from her father, "the instructions I am about to give you are very important, it is imperative that they be followed exactly…"

~**~_~**~_~**~

Alina Petranni was not quite sure where exactly she was, but she knew its meaning, somehow, and was, oddly enough, not alarmed in the slightest… It was as though she knew, by some power which she could not name, that she could not be harmed here… No, it was her words, her father's words, of which she had to be wary, and she knew that. Never having been to this crystal cave, and not knowing the place, nor its legacy, she had not known how correct she had been, and had she known such things, she would have been able to make near perfect sense out of the whole lot of it, and form coherent and productive thought out of what was then simply a confused muddle in her head… Unfortunately, and painfully frustratingly to I, who knows all and sees all, all powerful, she did not have this knowledge which could have changed so very much.

The ritual her father had had her perform was alien to her, but she knew enough to know that it was an ancient, deep, magic, although a magic so deep that it was not magic at all… In other circumstances she would have worried that perhaps it was magic of a non-benevolent sort, but again, she somehow felt that no dark magic could be performed here, that this place had a sort of power that went beyond all human comprehension, that protected it, and all that were associated with it, and that none but good could be done here. Again, she was correct, though she had no way of knowing it. Only I, and those who had come before but were now gone from this world, could have known such things.

The chamber in which she stood was another part of the cave, though she wasn't entirely sure how it was that this ritual had transported both she and her father to such a place. It was furnished in a way that was almost hypnotizing… It transcends all words, the way the truly ancient and mystical heirlooms, no doubt some thousands of years old, decorated the cave walls. I could describe it for you, but I think that here it is most important for you to form the picture in your own mind… A picture that is completely of your own making, influenced only by your heart, and belongs only to you… For it is a place that belongs to each person that meets with it, it runs in one's blood and beats in one's heart, and lives inside of each of us forever, and in turn we leave a part of ourselves here forever… So close your eyes for a moment, and imagine, see it, feel it, hear it, taste it, breathe it, live it, and put your heart into it.

Curious, Alina, feeling emboldened in such a protected, warm atmosphere that exuded of love, questioned her father immediately. "Do you live here?"

He laughed, it was a strange laugh, not malicious or cynical at all, it was a real, human laugh, one of a sort she had never heard from Demetrius Petranni, one that most likely he was certain he would never again produce, a real human laugh of something that sounded a lot like happiness. "No. I do not live in this chamber, it is not a place for the likes of me, I do not belong here, it was not meant for me, nor for my kind. I do, however, live in this cave, yes, but no, never in this chamber… In fact I am quite certain that I could not have set foot into this place without you."

Her father had inadvertently suggested that she was useful and of value in that statement, that was certainly a first. Understandably, she was a bit taken aback. Normally, she would now be searching for hidden motives, her mind working quickly to be analyzing what might be going through his head, but something about the atmosphere, the place, it lulled her out of suspicion. Certainly, she realized, there was a very powerful, very deep, very ancient magic here, in this chamber, in this crystal cave, and it was affecting her… The question now was, was it affecting him? For the first time in her young life, she felt secure, warm, welcome, by whom she did not know, but whoever they were they were here, in some form or another. "Why?"

"I'm afraid, I'm sorry to say, that is, that I can not yet disclose that information to you… It is far too dangerous."

"Dangerous? Dangerous for whom?"

"For you, of course."

She was genuinely confused now… Why was Demetrius Petranni suddenly being so kind, so protective, so benevolent? It was drastically out of character, at least, it was so drastically out of character as it pertained to Alina's experiences with the man. "For me?... Exactly since when have you been concerned about my safety and my well-being?"

She herself was being uncharacteristically straightforward. Perhaps she was feeling rebellious and emboldened and ready to finally let it out and fight for it… Perhaps she was tired of being crafty, of biding her time, of being strangely subordinate in that very way… Perhaps she was just tired… Perhaps she was just a human being, a daughter in search of her father, hoping to find him there in that chamber in that crystal cave… Perhaps it was something more… Or perhaps it was all of those things.

Demetrius Petranni looked strange, there was a paradox that could be seen in his face, he was so shocked, and yet, it was as though he knew it was coming… He looked both hurt and happy… Certain and uncertain… He looked like a real human being. A real human being as she had never seen him before, as he had never thought he could be again… And he responded like a human being, losing his usual suave tone and becoming awkward, for the first time that ever she had witnessed… "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." His voice trembled uncertainly, and if she could not see him sitting there, she would have thought by his now husky, frightened, emotion-filled voice that he was crying.

Inwardly, she could not describe the emotion pulsating through her, in her heart, some of it was relief and happiness, happiness that at last she heard those words coming from his mouth, which had been so longing to hear… But it seemed so impossible; yes, she had dreamed of it countless times, and no matter the setting it always played out along similar lines, he said he was sorry and broke down crying, gave her reasons that he confessed to be "no excuse," and listened to her as she recounted her sorrows, and begged her forgiveness, and at last she could cry again, and she would cry on his shoulder, and he would tell her that he loved her, and that he'd make it all alright, that he would always be there for her, and eventually she would tell him that she loved him, and they would really be a family… It was a fantasy, she had always known it, and she had known it to be simply a dream, and although she longed for it with a pain all the same, she had "known" that it would never happen, only in her fantasies… And here it was, and, in the intoxicating atmosphere of the chamber, of the cave, he seemed sincere, and it was really happening… Although, it was not quite so elegant or dramatic as 'twas in her dreams, here, he had only just begun, and yet he had been very awkward and uncomfortable about it, clumsy almost: he had simply blurted it out, not really glamorous, not glamorous at all. And yet, to all that she wanted to be able to say here, all those infinite strings of feelings she herein wanted to spin into words, into coherent elegance, she responded with the same clumsiness. Indeed, she was dramatically disappointed in herself as all that came out of her mouth, the only word she seemed capable of producing, which wasn't even a word, was "Oh?"

"I'm sorry for everything I've done to you, I'm sorry for the situation I've put you in, the life that I've given to you… I'm sorry for everything. Most of all, however, I'm sorry for what I'm about to do to you." His voice cracked, and the emotion in his tone was almost tangible, it was so powerful.

"Is that it?" Deep within, she felt a growing sense of rebellion and all at once a growing need for him, for a father she never had. Icily, she continued, harsh and cold to the core of her voice "Is that all you've got to say to me? 'I'm sorry?' Well, I'm sorry, but 'I'm sorry' just isn't enough… Are you foolish enough to think, to believe that that's all you've got to do… That all you have to do is say that and all of a sudden it will be alright?! Who do you think you are?! God?! How foolish and simple do you believe me to be?! Did you really think that all you had to do was say that you're sorry and all of a sudden all those years of pain would suddenly disappear and I could love you? Well, I'm sorry, it's going to take more than that… More than you can give maybe?! BECAUSE OF WHAT YOU HAVE DONE, BECAUSE OF THE WAY YOU HAVE RUINED ME, I NEVER CAN AND NEVER WILL FORGIVE YOU, AND NEVER CAN AND NEVER WILL BE ABLE TO LOVE YOU LIKE I MIGHT HAVE HAD I HAD A REAL FATHER!!! You do realize that, don't you?"

Suddenly she was standing, anger and stress and hurt and humanity all visible in her face, crumpled like it had been on that fateful August 24, 1989, her limbs stiff, her fists clenched, a sort of power emanating from her, her soul rising out and above her, forcing him to his spiritual knees. "DON'T YOU?!!!" And just as suddenly, she realized something… He was crying. She had never seen him cry before. She knew that being a human being in the physical sense, that he must cry, but she had never known him to do it, and so it had seemed impossible to her. So the man had feelings after all. So the man was a man after all. She had not cried since August 24, 1989, it had been the last time for her, and she actually felt a little guilty as she saw him break down completely… Rivers were streaming rather disgracefully from his eyes and nose, and he was quivering as though in severe cold. His voice was hoarse and husky. He sounded like a wounded bear, and he whimpered now and then. He sobbed in a deep and choking manner, gasping as does a dying soldier on an enemy battlefield, clinging to life. And when he looked up at his daughter, her father had the look of a lost child… Alone and afraid and yet wracked by the guilt and pain of an old man. As though such pain was a disease that was airborne, she began to feel it, feel it seep into her soul and drown her heart… Alina Petranni had a heart after all. She did not know quite what to do. She felt a bit guilty and a bit embarrassed and a bit afraid, someone older and bigger and stronger than she, was crying, had completely broken down and lost it all… The humanity in her cried out to him, the two were, in that sense, their shared pain that the world would never know, made them closer, in that manner, in that brief space and time, in that chamber in that crystal cave…

He held out his hands to her as he collapsed and fell to the floor in a raggedly familiar ungraceful manner. And she held him there, a bit of an odd twist of fate, held him there, rocking him and giving silent comfort there just by the benevolence of her presence… And he told her things as he sat there crying. He did not tell her everything… But he told her many things… Things that a man has trouble enough admitting to himself, let alone share with the world, and so, it is only fair that I, knowing of these things, do not betray his trust… For that reason I cannot tell you exactly what these things are… but I think you can imagine some of them.

I think… I think…I feel that it is only fair to him, and to his daughter, and to all those who have loved and lost, that I keep my silence, and respect his trust and his heart.

~**~_~**~_~**~

Many, many hours later, at the stroke of midnight, the Dark Lord received a message from his servant Cimerii. It said simply this…

My Lord,

She is broken. We have her at last.

~**~_~**~_~**~

And now, oh ye who hear my tale, it is time to ask yourselves a question… Who do you trust?… And do you trust even me? Do you know who I am?

Take my hand, as further in we fall…

~**~_~**~_~**~

Post A/N: And now, ye listeners, ::giggles:: it is time for my author's note. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, I tetered off at the end, but I enjoyed writing it. :) Here's a question for you… Do you know who is narrating this chapter? This same narrator may not be the specific narrator for every chapter, but 'twill be, or is rather, the narrator for the overall story. I won't be able to tell you if you're correct, unfortunately, it's too early to do that, but I will have fun seeing what you can guess. I wouldn't be surprised if some of you get it right off the bat… Anywho, we will return to other perspectives and foci in the next chapter. These chapters have been special Petranni-only chapters, which makes them special in my mind, but the next chapter will be, in such a sense, a "return to normalcy." PLEASE TAKE NOTE: In this chapter and here on afterward, unless already specified, when I say "Australia," I am referring to the MAGICAL Australia within the STORY, I'm getting really sick and tired of having to say magical, or wizarding, in front of it, so please, that's what I'm referring to, it is no commentary on the real Australia, so please, just trust me on that and try not to take offense. Same goes for New Zealand in that case. Oooo, there is so much I'd like to say here, but for fear of betraying myself, I will keep my mouth shut. I'm sorry, no reviewer thanks this time, it's 2 AM and I'm actually feeling a bit nauseous, next chapter, I promise.