Doctor Who and the Feline Dilemma
Chapter One
Romana sighed as she and K-9 played a game of chess.
"Your move, Mistress." K-9 said. With a thoughtful nod, Romana moved one of her pawns.
"Good move, Mistress." K-9 commented.
"Thank you, K-9. I wonder what the Doctor is up to." Romana said, as she glanced around at the otherwise empty control room.
"Master had said something about cleaning his closet out." K-9 said, before a resounding crash came from the room adjacent. Romana rolled her eyes and went to the source of the noise, not in the least bit surprised when she came upon a huge pile of junk.
"Doctor, are you all right?" Romana asked, dryly.
"Oh, I'm just as right as rain, Romana." Came the muffled, somewhat sarcastic reply of the Doctor.
"Hold on, I'll get you out." Romana said, choosing to ignore the snappish remark. With that said, she started removing the junk from on top of the Time Lord. Yet, as she got deeper, Romana noticed that something wasn't right.
"K-9, can you sense the Doctor's normal body mass?" Romana asked. K-9 paused for a moment, his antennae twitching.
"Negative, Mistress." K-9 replied, after a few moments.
"Nonsense, K-9! That can't be right!" the Doctor again said, this time his voice was clearer than it had been.
"Negative, Master. According to my sensors, your body is now the same size and proportions as an animal the earth people call a 'bobcat'. Your life readings also indicate that, although you retain Gallifreyan traits, your body is now quite feline." K-9 said, matter-of-factly. In the next instant, K-9's prognosis proved true, as a frustrated, bobcat-sized male calico pulled himself from under the debris and gave K-9 a scathing glare. Romana gaped at what she saw; even though it was a cat, it was wearing bobcat-sized versions of the Doctor's clothes and had a head of curly brown hair.
"Doctor, K-9 is right. You have been changed into a cat." Romana said, and, before he could argue, put a mirror before the Doctor. She watched as shock etched itself across the Doctor's usually smiling, now feline, face.
"This is even worse than post-regeneration trauma. How could this have happened?" the Doctor asked, as he put a paw to the glass and lowered his head.
"I don't know, but I think the answer to that question lies on our home planet." Romana said, as she led the now depressed Doctor to the control room, with K-9 following close behind them.
Meanwhile………..
The Doctor was in a predicament. He'd thought that he was short before, but now he couldn't even reach the control console for the TARDIS! Luckily for him, though, Jamie was still in bed asleep. At least, until he heard a yell and a slight 'thud' in his room.
"Jamie? Are you all right?" the Doctor asked.
"Aye, but it appears that I've gone furry!" Jamie replied, as he came out of his room.
"Oh no, not you too!" the Doctor muttered, when he caught sight of his companion. What had once been a proud young Scotsman was now a kilt-wearing, slightly disgruntled, blue-gray cat.
"What happened, Doctor? And how do we get back to normal?" Jamie asked, almost sounding panicky.
"Calm down, Jamie. I think the answer to this lies on Gallifrey." The Doctor said, as he trotted over to the console, jumped onto it, and took a look at the coordinates.
"For once I am glad the High Council is controlling the TARDIS, since I don't think these paws could work the controls." The Doctor said, with bitter irony in his voice.
"Where're we goin' then?" Jamie asked.
"Gallifrey." The Doctor replied, gravely.
Another time…………..
Jo Grant cringed when she heard a crash come from the Doctor's room.
"Doctor!" Jo yelped, as she rushed in to see what had happened.
"Watch it, Jo!" the Doctor's voice yelped, from underfoot. Surprised, Jo looked down to see a slightly disheveled, bobcat-sized white Persian cat. The strange thing about it was the fact that it had a head of wavy white hair on its head and smaller versions of the Doctor's flamboyant clothes on its body!
"Doctor, is that you?! What happened?" Jo asked, in complete disbelief.
"I haven't the faintest idea." The Doctor replied, testily. For a few moments there was uncomfortable silence, then Jo started giggling.
"What's so funny?" the Doctor asked, irritably.
"It's so funny, Doctor. You're so cute!" Jo said, from between giggles. This got what anime watchers everywhere termed 'the infamous anime face-fault' from the Doctor.
"Jo……………this is NOT the time for this…….." the Doctor grumbled, angrily, his tail lashing furiously behind him as he said that. With that said, he stalked past Jo and into the control room. When he got there, he could already tell that the TARDIS was headed for Gallifrey. When the TARDIS had signaled that it had landed, the Doctor had Jo open the door and he cautiously poked his head out to see what was out there. To his shock, two other police boxes stood on either side of his!
"Are they TARDISes too?" Jo asked, her voice a whisper.
"More than likely they are the same TARDIS. Come along, Jo." The Doctor ordered, as he walked over to one of the other TARDISes and knocked (well, about as well as a cat could knock, anyway). Almost immediately, the door opened to reveal……….
"YOU?!" the two Doctors yelped, then glared at one another.
"Who's that, Doctor?" Jamie asked, as he gave Doctor 3 and Jo a questioning look.
"Me." Doctor 2 replied, then added, "You're still a fancypants."
"And you're still a scarecrow." Doctor 3 retorted. As the two Doctors argued, the third TARDIS' door opened, and Romana and the fourth Doctor stepped out.
"Excuse me, but I think catfights are only supposed to happen between women." Romana said, dryly. Both Doctors looked at her, then Doctor 4.
"Oh no, don't tell me you're my replacement! I am preceded by a clown and succeeded by another one!" Doctor 3 ranted. He got an icy stare from Doctor 4 and a flying raspberry from Doctor 2.
"Stop being so childish, you three!" Romana said, forcefully.
"I am not being childish! Besides, they started it!" Doctor 4 said, angrily. Romana, Doctor 3 and Jo merely rolled their eyes and shook their heads.
"So, you're Fancypants' replacement, eh?" Doctor 2 asked, with an impish grin. Doctor 4 nodded.
"Yes. Pleasure to meet me." Doctor 4 said, forgetting his prior depression and returning to being himself.
"Here we go again." Jo muttered, with a sigh, as she watched Doctors 2 and 4 get along and Doctor 3 sulk about it.
Author's Note!
Okay, I know there might be some people who will flame me, but here me out! This fic was started just for the fun of it! For those who enjoy humor fics, well, if you have any ideas as to where this story could go, then please e-mail me!
Gemini ^ ^;;;