The Talent Competition
I'd just like to start out sayin, um, well; shout out 2 Merc, ser, KC, Jenny, Kristy, and ppl! Um, well hope ya like the story! Oh, I have to also remind you, there is no time period in this story!
It was the talent competition, everyone was invited to Hogwarts, everyone! Everyone who had at least a somewhat good singing voice signed up! Well, let's start from the beginning, the first talent competition.
Everyone gathered in the large theater that was in Hogwarts. Some eagerly waiting for their turn and some just eager to hear.
"Attention, attention please", it was Dumbledore, "lets begin the first annual Hogwarts talent competition, our first singer is Severus Snape, give him a hand".
Severus walked onto the middle of the stage, ready to sing, he began. The music started to play.
He sang.
Is it worth it, let me work it
I put my thing down, flip it and reverse it
{*"I put my thing down, flip it and reverse it" - backwards 2X*}
If you got a big [elephant], let me search ya
To find out how hard I gotta work ya
{*"I put my thing down, flip it and reverse it" - backwards 2X*}
I'd like to get to know ya so I could show ya
Put the pussy on ya like I told ya
Gimme all your numbers so I could phone ya
Your girl actin' stank then call me over
Not on the bed, lay me on your sofa
Phone before you come, I need to shave my chocha
You do or you don't or you will or won't ya
Go downtown and eat it like a vulture
See my hips and my tips, don't ya
See my ass and my lips, don't ya
Lost a few pounds in my waist for ya
This be the beat that goes ba ta ta
ba ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta
Sex me so good I say blah-blah-blah
Work it, I need a glass of water
Boy, oh, boy, it's good to know ya
Repeat Chorus
If you a fly gal get your nails done
Get a pedicure, get your hair did
Boy, lift it up, let's make a toast-a
Let's get drunk, that's gon' bring us closer
Don't I look like a Halle Berry poster
See the Belvedere playin' tricks on ya
Girlfriend wanna be like me, never
You won't find a bitch that's even better
I make you hot as Las Vegas weather
Listen up close while I take it backwards
(Watch the way Missy like to take it backwards) [backwards]
I'm not a prostitute, but I could give you what you want
I love your braids and your mouth full of floss
Love the way my ass go bum-bum-bum-bum
Keep your eyes on my bum-bum-bum-bum-bum
And think you can handle this gadong-a-dong-dong
Take my thong off and my ass go vroom
Cut the lights off so you see what I could do
Repeat Chorus:
Boys, boys, all type of boys
Black, white, Puerto Rican, Chinese boys
Why-thai,-thai-o-toy-o-thai-thai
Rock-thai,-thai-o-toy-o-thai-thai
Girl, girl, get that cash
If it's 9 to 5 or shakin' your ass
Ain't no shame, ladies do your thang
Just make sure you ahead of the game
Just 'cause I got a lot of fame supa
Prince couldn't get me change my name papa
Kunta Kinte a slave again, no sir
Picture black sayin', "Oh, yes a master"
Picture Lil' Kim dating a pastor
Minnie Me and Big Ren can out last ya
Who is the best, I don't have to ask ya
When I come out you won't even matter
Why you act dumb like "Uh, duh"
So you act dumb like "Uh, duh"
As the drummer boy go ba-rom-pop-pom-pom
Give you some-some-some of this Cinnabun
Repeat Chorus
To my fellas, ooooh
Good God, I like the way you work that
{*scratching: "Peter Piper" featuring Jam Master Jay*}
To my ladies, woo
You sure know how to work that, good God
After this, everyone got the impression that Snape was, well, gay!
Announcer: Next up is Lillian Potter!
Everyone cheered
Then the music began.
I'm Standing on a bridge
I'm waitin in the dark
I thought that you'd be here by now
Theres nothing but the rain
No footsteps on the ground
I'm listening but theres no sound
Isn't anyone tryin to find me?
Won't someone please take me home
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Wont you take me by the hand
take me somewhere new
I dont know who you are
but I'm, I'm with you
im looking for a place
searching for a face
is there anybody here i know
cause nothings going right
and everythigns a mess
and no one likes to be alone
Isn't anyone tryin to find me?
Won't someone please take me home
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Wont you take me by the hand
take me somewhere new
I dont know who you are
but I'm, I'm with you
oh why is everything so confusing
maybe I'm just out of my mind
yea yea yea
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Wont you take me by the hand
take me somewhere new
I dont know who you are
but I'm, I'm with you
Take me by the hand
take me somewhere new
I dont know who you are
but I'm, I'm with you
I'm with you
Take me by the hand
take me somewhere new
I dont know who you are
but I'm, I'm with you
I'm with you
I'm with you...
The crowd clapped and cheered, for she was a good singer.
Announcer: Next up, James Potter!
The music started (again) .
We got the afternoon
You got this room for two
One thing I've left to do
Discover me
Discovering you
One mile to every inch of
Your skin like porcelain
One pair of candy lips and
Your bubblegum tongue
'Cause if you want love
We'll make it
Swimming a deep sea
Of blankets
Take all your big plans
And break 'em
This is bound to be a while
Your body Is a wonderland
Your body is a wonder (I'll use my hands)
Your body Is a wonderland
Something 'bout the way the hair falls in your face
I love the shape you take when crawling towards the pillowcase
You tell me where to go and
Though I might leave to find it
I'll never let your head hit the bed
Without my hand behind it
you want love?
We'll make it
Swimming a deep sea
Of blankets
Take all your big plans
And break 'em
This is bound to be a while
Your body Is a wonderland
Your body is a wonder (I'll use my hands)
Your body Is a wonderland
Damn baby
You frustrate me
I know you're mine all mine all mine
But you look so good it hurts sometimes
Your body Is a wonderland
Your body is a wonder (I'll use my hands)
Your body Is a wonderland
Your body is a wonderland
Everyone cheered. (I should remind you that he was kind of, well, obviously singing this for Lily).
Announcer: Coming up, Rebeus Hagrid!
(I think you get the picture about the singer starting to sing)
*talking*
Oh my god
Becky, look at her butt
It is so big
She looks like one of those rap guys girlfriends
Who understands those rap guys
They only talk to her because she looks like a total prostitute
I mean her butt
It's just so big
I can't believe it's so round
It's just out there
I mean, it's gross
Look, she's just so black
*rap*
I like big butts and I can not lie
You other brothers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waste
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung
Wanna pull up front
Cuz you notice that butt was stuffed
Deep in the jeans she's wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring
Oh, baby I wanna get with ya
And take your picture
My homeboys tried to warn me
But with that butt you got
Me so horny
Ooh, all of that smooth skin
You say you wanna get in my benz
Well use me use me cuz you aint that average groupy
I've seen them dancin'
The hell with romancin'
Sweat, sweat, got it goin like a turbo vette
I'm tired of magazines
Saying flat butts are the thing
Take the average black man and ask him that
She gotta pack much back
Fellas (yeah) Fellas(yeah)
Has your girlfriend got the butt (hell yeah)
Tell her to shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it, shake that healthy butt
Baby got back
(LA face with Oakland booty)
I like'em round and big
And when I'm throwin a gig
I just can't help myself
I'm actin like an animal
Now here's my scandal
I wanna get you home
And uh, double up uh uh
I aint talkin bout playboy
Cuz silicone parts were made for toys
I wann'em real thick and juicy
So find that juicy double
Mixalot's in trouble
Beggin for a piece of that bubble
So I'm lookin' at rock videos
Watchin' these bimbos walkin like hoes
You can have them bimbos
I'll keep my women like Flo Jo
A word to the thick soul sistas
I wanna get with ya
I won't cus or hit ya
But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna uhhhh
Till the break of dawn
Baby got it goin on
A lot of pimps won't like this song
Cuz them punks like to hit it and quit it
But I'd rather stay and play
Cuz I'm long and I'm strong
And I'm down to get the friction on
So ladies (yeah), Ladies (yeah)
If you wanna role in my Mercedes (yeah)
Then turn around
Stick it out
Even white boys got to shout
Baby got back
(LA face with the Oakland booty)
Yeah baby
When it comes to females
Cosmo and got nothin to do with my selection
36-24-36
Only if she's 5'3"
So your girlfriend drives a Honda
Playin workout tapes by Fonda
But Fonda and got motor in the back of her Honda
My anaconda don't want none unless you've got buns hon
You can do side bends or sit-ups, but please don't lose that butt
Some brothers wanna play that hard role
And tell you that the butt and gold
So they toss it and leave it
And I pull up quick to retrieve it
So cosmo says you're fat
Well I aint down with that
Cuz your waste is small and your curves are kickin
And I'm thinkin bout stickin
To the beanpole dames in the magazines
You aint it miss thing
Give me a sista I can't resist her
Red beans and rice didn't miss her
Some knucklehead tried to dis
Cuz his girls were on my list
He had game but he chose to hit 'em
And pulled up quick to get with 'em
So ladies if the butt is round
And you wanna triple X throw down
Dial 1-900-mixalot and kick them nasty thoughts
Baby got back
The crowd was silent. Crickets chirped. Then all of the people in the theater started shaking their butt. It was really a sickening sight to see McGonagall shacking her butt in front of Dumbledore.
Well, I hope you like the first part of my story! Oh and I'd just like to clear up the titles of the songs. The first was "Work It" by Missy Elliot, the 2nd was "I'm with you" by Avril Lavigne, the 3rd was "Your body is a wonderland" by John Mayer, and the 4th was "Baby got back" by Sir Mixalot. Thanx 4 readin and review. Peace out!