Part 17
Okay, so what can I say? Someone gave me a swift kick up the arse and told me the truth! The original Chapters 17 and 18 were not [quote]up to my usual standards[/quote] :) I like to think of that as a compliment! ROFL! Well, it inspired me to rewerite them.
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Sam sat in silence, still unable to believe that the words had been voiced. Daniel had just said she was in love with Jack. Out loud. In front of one of her commanding officers. This was not meant to be happening.
"Sam, I, God, I'm sorry. I had no right to say that out loud,"
She looked at him as he approached her. "Out loud? That means you were thinking it, though, right?" Daniel cleared his throat and the look on his face rather remineded him of a deer caught in headlights. She smiled, "It's okay, Daniel, I guess I just wanted to know,"
"Major," General Hammond cleared his throat. "This situation is not exactly something that we had hoped would happen. However, I have been in touch with the president and..."
"And what?" Sam asked, half frowning in disbelief. "With all due respect, Sir, what can the president possibly do that could help?"
"Major Carter, we are all experiencing something new here, something alien. I don't pretend to know what you're going through, or what the Colonel is, all I know is that my best team is being torn apart and there's not a damn thing I can do about it."
Sam sighed. "I'm sorry, Sir,"
General Hammond took a deep breath and stepped towards her. "Major Carter, I know there is nothing I can do but try to make things easier for you and that is what I'm trying to do."
"I understand that, Sir and I'm sorry I snapped at you. It must be the hormones." She said with a wry grin and the General smiled at her.
"Understood," He smiled and cleared his throat again, looking as if he had more to say, but not quite sure how to say it.
"It's okay, Sir, whatever it is, just say it,"
Hammond nodded and continued, "I talked to the president again this morning. As you know I have to keep him informed of everything that goes on here and I couldn't hide this,"
"I didn't expect you to, Sir,"
"Well, part of me wishes I could have, Major. I have no idea what you plan to do with this new inormation," he smiled a little. "Well, I have a small idea, but that's not the point, I feel it's my duty to inform you that should you and Colonel O'Neill wish to pursue a relationship, then the air force will not stand in your way, however, there would need to be some changes."
Sam nodded, "Thank you for telling me, Sir. And thank you for all your help, General," She stood up, and approached him, pulling the elder man into a hug. "Can we just put this down to hormones as well, sir?"
Hammond laughed and returned the hug. "What else would it be?" The General pulled back and smiled beore turning and exiting the room.
There was silence and Sam felt herself being swallowed by it. She turned around and looked at Daniel and Janet, both of them staring at her with something that felt a little too much like pity for her liking.
"Gee, you'd think someone had died or something," she said, trying to be lighthearted. Daniel and Janet attempted to smile, but it was about as real as the smile on her own face.
"What are you going to do?"
"I don't know, Daniel, I don't know anything anymore." She sighed and closed her eyes. "Look, I know I'm supposed to be under 24 hour survelliance, but-" When Janet attempted to speak she smiled and cut her of. "Don't worry, Janet, I know you all mean well. I'm just getting a little claustrophobic and I think I need some air."
"I'll take you to the surface,"
"No, Daniel, I can take myself to the surface." Both Janet and Daniel looked set to protest, but she shot them both a resolved look and they simply nodded.
She turned and exited the room, making her way to the elevator, hal in a daze. It had never really occurred to her just how dull the corridors of the SGC were, not that it was something that ever really thought about before, the armed forces weren't exactly renowned for their wonderful interior decour. The idea was that it was simple and, well, boring.
She sighed and tried not to snap when the airman in the lift insisted on pressing the button for her, hating how her current condition seemed to be denying her any kind of independence. It hadn't taken long for word of her pregnancy to make its way through the SGC gossip mills and ever since, she had had to deal with everyone treating her like she was about to break.
"Major?" She had been so lost in thought that when she jerked her attention to the man before her, she failed to notice the terrified look on his face. "Eh, we're at the surface."
"Oh, right, thank you,"
"Do you need help?"
"With what airman? I think I can handle walking on my own." At the look on the man's face, she felt instantly sorry. "I'm sorry."
The man relaxed and smiled. "It's okay, Major, it can't be easy if everyone's treading on eggshells."
She smiled wryly, "With the way you talk, you'd think you'd been pregnant yourself."
He grinned. "Nope, but my wife has been. Three times and let me tell you I've had my fair share of snapping about treating her like a piece of fragile china. Trust me when I say I have no intention of being on the receiving end of a pregnant woman's fist again."
Sam laughed. "Maybe you could pass that on to the rest of the base."
"I'll make it my next mission, Major, I may even start with the Colonel,"
Sam laughed, knowing that Jack's recent behaviour was no doubt known to the entire base. "Now that would definately be appreciated,"
With a final smile, the airman walked towards his car leaving Sam standing alone. She took a deep breath of fresh air and smiled, almost instantly feeling better, before turning and heading towards her favourite spot.
It was getting dark and the shadows were dancing at her feet as she approached the tree, linching a little from the harsh yellow light to her left. As much as she loved the area, she preffered it during the day when it wasn't tainted by the artificial light.
"Major Carter,"
Sam smiled and turned around. "Teal'c, how long have you been back?"
"Not very long," the man said, moving to sit next to her under the tree. "DanielJackson explained everything to me."
"So, what, you're here to tell me to go to Jack now?"
"No, I am not."
Sam sighed. "Sorry, Teal'c, I didn't mean anything. I'm just having a little trouble with this whole thing."
"I understand,"
"Do you?"
"No, but I have observed that human's find it necessary to hear that when they are in distress."
Sam smiled, "Well, thanks, Teal'c, but it's fine for you just to listen." The man nodded and she sighed. "You do think I should speak to him though, don't you?"
"I believe it would be for the best." Teal'c stood up and extended a hand. "You and the O'Neill have a diicult relationship, MajorCarter, but that does not mean that you should deny him the truth. Or yourself."
Sam nodded. "I stopped denying it to myself, it's Jack I'm worried about,"
They moved to the entrance and Sam elt herself getting closer to him, could sense it in her stomach. She always felt easier when she was in his company, the baby needing his presense to feel complete, but it didn't help her in her present situation.
At the thought of talking to her CO, she began to feel panic coursing through her. Oh, God, what the hell do I tell Jack? she thought, missing the concerned look that Teal'c was sending her way. Somehow I think 'Nice weather we're having, oh, and, sir, I'm in love with you' will work.
It might work, although I think it'd work better if you dropped the Sir.
Sam's eyes widened and she instantly felt dizzy as his voice rang through her head. Oh, God, she reached out to the wall to steady herself, aware that Teal'c was gripping onto her arm.
Uh, Sam?
Get out of my head!
I wish I could, but I'm thinking that's not reeally possible at the moment
She felt a tear running down her cheek, but that simply angered her more. This was meant to be something that she told him herself, something that she said to his face, not something that he overheard by accident. Everything about the pregnancy seemed to be stealing away every semblance of normality from her life and she hated feeling so helpless, so smothered by everything and everyone.
Sam? Sam, I'm sorry, please talk to me.
"MajorCarter?" Hearing Teal'c voice, she focussed her vision and turned to look at him. "Are you all right?"
"No, I'm not all right, Tea'c! The Colonel is in my head and that's not all right!"
Teal'c remained silent, but nodded, willing to allow her to get rid of her anger. The lift door opened and it was then that Sam realised she was on the floor. There was a noise in the hallway and Sam heard feet running towards her as she closed her eyes.
Sam, what's wrong? Are you okay? …Answer me, Major, that's an order.
You cannot order me about in my own mind! She said, suddenly feeling angry again.
Well, maybe if you weren't so stubborn and pigheaded, I might…
Me! Pigheaded!
Yes, Carter, you. You don't want help from anyone, but that is my child you are carrying, it's ours and you're shutting me out. I'm losing another child already and this one hasn't even been born yet!
Feeling his anger and pain sweeping through her, Sam withdrew in shock. She could never hope to understand his pain about Charlie's death, and a part of her hoped she never would, at least not first hand. She saw how broken he seemed at times and it made her heart ache. She never wanted to see that again and no matter what this pregnancy was doing to her, she had to keep reminding herself that it was affecting Jack as well.
Jack, I'd never take your child from you. Never.
Then let me in
I…I don't know how.
Try?
She closed her eyes and smiled slightly. I will
Now, are you okay?
I'm fine, just a little dizzy.
"Major Carter?"
"Sam, talk to me," Blinking in surprise, she focussed the world in front of her. Daniel, Janet and the General were crowding around her, Teal'c still at her left side, looking at her with great concern.
"What?"
"You spaced out on us for a moment there, Major, had us worried," Janet smiled and placed the back of her hand on Sam's forehead. "How are you feeling?"
"I'm okay, Janet, I was just talking to Jack."
"And how is our dear Colonel? Feeling any saner?"
Sam laughed a little. "I'd have to say that's pretty much impossible."
You making fun of me, Major?
Me, Sir? Never!
She smiled, allowing Janet and Teal'c to help her to her feet, refraining from rolling her eyes at their protectiveness. Usually she would object, just on principle, but if she was honest with herself, she was still feeling rather dizzy, and Jack's words were still echoing in her head. She had to let her guard down a little. She was pregnant and as much as she wished things didn't have to change, she was quickly realising that she wouldn't be able to do everything for herself anymore…or not for long anyway.
"Where to?" Daniel asked, almost nervously.
Sam smiled and nodded. "The infirmary. I think I have two cavemen to sort out."
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End of Part 17
Well, I hope that's a little better! In fact, I hope it's a lot better. There's still a lot to be sorted out with the next part, 'cause it was the worst of all! I really just couldn't be bothered but at the same time was desperate to give my readers something! Someone stood up to me this time and called me on it, and hopefully my reviewers won't stand for it in the future either!
Enjoy and remember, feedback is a gift, please give generously :)
NB: If there are any f's missing from words, sorry! But I'm at home and my mum's computer has a serious problem in letting me use the damn f key! LoL!