Once there was this guy. And this guy was just minding his own business when he got eaten by a guy named Squall, who then went and made love with Zell, but Rinoa walked in and got mad and started to murder Zell, but then Zell's girlfriend walked in and saw Zell and Squall and Rinoa and so she fainted. Then some dude named Osama ran next to them and blew up a bomb, killing everyone but Squall and the real Zell, because the real Zell beat to death the fake cuss he was not gay then Squall tried to rape Zell but Zell drop kicked Squall to space and back, burying him. Then Little Red Riding Hood walked in and then Zell saw her and thought she was a guy and tried to rape her too but she said
"You can't rape me with your hair you little perv!"
Then the wolf came in and swallowed squalls gunblade. Then the wolf said
"I am the god of porn!"
Then Selphie came in and said
"No you're not!"
Then Selphie at squall's head. Selphie then started molesting the wolf, and Zell was trying to get her off him, but she wouldn't so Squall started raping Zell again and Rinoa got really mad and stormed out and killed herself by jumping off the communications tower. So, then, Squall got really sad and molested Selphie. (Author's note: ROFL and then this guy he said OMG OMG and then the girl said OMG OMG and the wolf said OMG OMG and the student's of Balamb Garden came out and raped the communication tower... OMG OMG OMG... I am such a little bastard OMG!) Then Zell took Squall's gunblade and went chop chop chop to him and made him into sausage and then he ate him and then a little Wakka ran out of Squall's head and said
"YAAAA BROADA MAN!"
He then blew into ash and then Rinoa and Selphie ate each other. Then (AN: OMG) Selphie had an illegitimate child and the child was sitting on the porch and Selphie said
"OMG what's wrong?!"
Cause the kid looked sad, and the kid said
"OMG I WANNA BE A FAMILY!"
Then it cried and Selphie ate it's head. So then the guy who got raped at the beginning of this tale, who was standing there the whole time, got hit in the face by a shoe that fell from the sky and died, but Chicken Little came out and cried out
"THE SKY IS FALLING!"
But we all knew it was Osama Bin Ladin. So, then, everyone started to burn his or her shoes that were possessed by the devil, and everyone had dirty feet and Chicken Little died from being eaten by a guy named Uncle.
But then, the author of this story looked to his companions... and cried out.
"Where will I go? What will I do?!"
His companions looked at him with tear-soaked eyes until he spoke again.
"To make love to a penguin is my only guess!"
Then the author stormed out of the house. Only an hour later the author rushed back in and in a choked up voice screamed...
"OMG!"
He reached his arm outside the door and grabbed the penguin by the neck. He then proceeded in stabbing the penguin many number of times.
"Dirty penguin!" The author yelled in disgust, "It tried to rape me!"
Then the family pet wandered over to the author and began to hump his leg. The author's companions took pictures as the author stood, dumbfounded. His companions posted the pictures in the town square for all to see. The author was so distraught of the events that had transpired he continued writing the story.
After the infamous Uncle had devoured Chicken Little, it was revealed that Uncle was Jackie Chan's uncle. So then, Uncle made another Chi potion and sealed all demons and said
"AIE YAA!"
And then ate himself and Jade and Jackie pulled off kick ass stunts and M danced a lot and disappeared and they all yelled
"BLARGIEGARFUNKEL!"
Then (AN: OMG) Jackie Chan heard his kid repeat that word [Blargiefunkel] and he said
"OMG THAT'S A BAD WORD!"
And he washed her mouth out with soap and then (AN: OMG) he raped her and then he told her (AN: OMG) that he loved her and he wanted to be a family too. So, then, they went to Selphie's house and Selphie said
"OMG!"
And then Selphie ate their heads. So, then, out of nowhere, Cloud appeared and started to rape the rest of their bodies. But Selphie got mad and said
"THAT'S MY JOB!"
Then she raped Cloud, but Cloud killed her by using his sword. So then, Selphie had to go to the doctor, and Squall appeared and raped the doctor, and the doctor and Squall got married and had kids. However, the kids were deformed so they sent them off to a boarding school and one grew up to be a cereal killer (AN: He actually murdered cereal boxes!) Then Jackie, who's head was not ate, got in and beat Selphie in 3 chops and then Michael Jackson appeared and sang Beat It and danced and Moonwalked and instead of saying "Beat it!" he said "BLARGIE!" and then Moonwalked away and Cloud, who was really Selphie, blew up and Ranma said "No!!!"
The author looked over his story in delight. Oh how he loved cliffhanger endings. He laid back in his chair and lit a cigarette and contemplated how he can make the next chapter advance the lush world he has created.