Chapter Two: And Left Me In This State
"So what did you heroes need?" Lorne asked, coming down the stairs, followed by Fred.
Angel gestured to Spike, "We need to find out if he's lying or not. And if he's not lying what made him go crazy."
"Who is this guy?" Lorne asked, looking at Spike. Spike was now sitting on the floor, talking to himself.
"His name's Spike," Angel said.
"Spike," Lorne said, slowly. "That name sounds familiar."
"He used to be called William the Bloody," Angel explained.
Lorne nodded, "Okay, I've heard of him. Some of the vampire who use to come in to Caritas talked about him."
"What did they?" Angel asked.
Lorne look uncomfortable, "You sure you want to know?"
"Yes," Angel said. "Anything that will tell us what's going on with him." Spike was still sitting on the floor but he'd stopped talking to himself. Now he was just staring blankly off into space.
"The vamps said that this Spike guy was the biggest vampire sell-out since," Lorne glanced at Angel. "Well you."
Angel nodded. He knew his reputation among the vampires but Spike's didn't make sense. Spike took pride in his fierce reputation. How could he have been considered a traitor? "Did they say why Spike sold out?"
"No details," Lorne said. "Just that he's an embarrassment."
"Doesn't sound like Spike," Angel said. He walked over to Spike and pulled him to his feet. "Spike," Spike didn't respond. "Spike, do you hear me?"
Spike looked at Angel, "I always heard you. Heard everything you taught me. But why didn't you teach me about the important stuff?"
"Spike," Angel said, ignoring Spike's ramblings. None of what he was saying made any sense. "We can help you but first you have to sing."
"You can't help me!" Spike shouted. "Don't you get that." He made a disgusted sound, "I've become you! All I need is the hair do and I'm you!"
"Spike, just sing something," Angel said. Spike tested his patience at the best of times and right now his ramblings were definitely trying his patience and his willingness to help Spike.
Spike turned away from Angel, opened his mouth to sing but something distracted him. He walked over to the doorway and stared at the person standing there.
"Connor," Angel said, startled by his son's appearance.
Connor ignored Angel and looked at Cordelia, "You weren't at home so I thought you might be here, with him." He looked at Spike, who was looking him up and down, in annoyance. "Who's he?"
"Who are you?" Spike asked. He moved closer to Connor, not taking his eyes off of him. "You look and smell like them but you're not. You're human too so how can you be part of them?"
"What's he talking about?" Connor asked Angel.
"I think he senses me and your moth.Darla," Angel said. Both he and Connor looked uncomfortable. They'd never talked about Darla.
"Who are you?" Spike repeated. "You're human but you're them."
"I don't know who I am," Connor said. "But I know what you are and you're going to die." He lunged at Spike with a stake, intent on dusting him. Spike stepped back and spread his arms, giving Connor easy access. Angel wasn't letting them get their way. He grabbed Spike and pulled him out of the way.
"Enough," Angel said. "No one's dying."
"He's a demon, a vampire, he deserves to die."
"He's right," Spike said, pulling away from Angel. "I should die." Spike looked at Angel, "You'll kill me too, when you find out what I did."
"What happened?" Angel asked. Spike kept referring to something that he'd done. What could Spike have done that would have driven him insane?
Spike ignored Angel's question and kept rambling, "I didn't want this! If I had I would have gone to the witch. I wanted to be what I was, not what she'd made me. I didn't go through all that for this! All I wanted to do was rest in peace. I sang that to her once, wanted her to leave me alone but she wouldn't! How did you get rid of her?" Spike once again fell to the floor, "How did you get her to forgive you? You tortured her, tried to kill her, killed people she cared about, but she still loved you. How did you do it?"
"Who's he talking about?" Gunn asked.
"No idea," Angel said. "I don't know who he's talking about."
"What?" Connor said, mockingly. "You torture so many women that you can't remember them all?"
Angel looked at Connor, "I remember every single person that I've ever hurt, every scream and every plea." Angel thought about what Spike had said. Could he be talking about Drusilla? That didn't make any sense, Spike would never tell Drusilla to leave him alone but who else could it be.
"Really," Connor said, breaking into Angel's thoughts. "Then you must remember who he's talking about."
"I think I do," Angel said. "Lorne, can you find out for sure?"
Lorne nodded and looked down at Spike, "If you can just get him to sing."
"Spike," Angel said, trying a new tact. "She wants you to sing." Spike's face perked up a little and Angel noticed that, "If you sing than maybe I can help you find a way to get her forgiveness."
"All I have to do is sing?" Spike asked.
"That's right," Angel said.
Spike nodded. If this was what it took then he'd sing. He thought for a minute and settled on a song he'd heard while hiding out in a theater on his way back from Africa:
"No pain could be deeper, no life could be cheaper, No point anymore if she can't love me, No hope she would do so, no dream to pursue so I look to myself, despise all the things I see, For I know that she can not set me free, Let the world be done with me."*
Spike finished singing and sank back down to the floor, humming the melody he'd been singing.
"Well?" Angel asked. "Is he faking or is he really crazy?"
"Oh he's crazy all right," Lorne said. "Guilt does that to a person."
""Guilt?" Angel asked. "No, that's not possible. Spike's never felt guilty a day in his life."
"Then he must be making up for it," Lorne says. "You should know. How did you feel when you got yours back?'
"When I got what back?" Angel asked.
"Your soul." Lorne explained.
"Sure I felt guilty," Angel said. "But does that have to do with Spike?"
"Because you are no longer the only vampire with a soul," Lorne said. "Your pal Spike here, has one of his very own."
"What?" Angel asked, stunned. He looked at Spike, "Is this true? Did you get your soul back?"
Spike's face crumpled, "I didn't want it back. I was supposed to turn back into what I was, into what you made me. Now I'm you, all because you didn't warn me!"
"Spike," Angel said, putting his hand on Spike's shoulder.
"Leave me alone!" Spike ordered. "All of you!" He pulled away from Angel and shouted, "I never wanted to come here! She sent me!" He turned and ran out the door, leaving a stunned Angel and crew behind him.
*I do not own this song. All rights belong to Disney. I just love the song. Don't sue me! I have nothing you would want.
"So what did you heroes need?" Lorne asked, coming down the stairs, followed by Fred.
Angel gestured to Spike, "We need to find out if he's lying or not. And if he's not lying what made him go crazy."
"Who is this guy?" Lorne asked, looking at Spike. Spike was now sitting on the floor, talking to himself.
"His name's Spike," Angel said.
"Spike," Lorne said, slowly. "That name sounds familiar."
"He used to be called William the Bloody," Angel explained.
Lorne nodded, "Okay, I've heard of him. Some of the vampire who use to come in to Caritas talked about him."
"What did they?" Angel asked.
Lorne look uncomfortable, "You sure you want to know?"
"Yes," Angel said. "Anything that will tell us what's going on with him." Spike was still sitting on the floor but he'd stopped talking to himself. Now he was just staring blankly off into space.
"The vamps said that this Spike guy was the biggest vampire sell-out since," Lorne glanced at Angel. "Well you."
Angel nodded. He knew his reputation among the vampires but Spike's didn't make sense. Spike took pride in his fierce reputation. How could he have been considered a traitor? "Did they say why Spike sold out?"
"No details," Lorne said. "Just that he's an embarrassment."
"Doesn't sound like Spike," Angel said. He walked over to Spike and pulled him to his feet. "Spike," Spike didn't respond. "Spike, do you hear me?"
Spike looked at Angel, "I always heard you. Heard everything you taught me. But why didn't you teach me about the important stuff?"
"Spike," Angel said, ignoring Spike's ramblings. None of what he was saying made any sense. "We can help you but first you have to sing."
"You can't help me!" Spike shouted. "Don't you get that." He made a disgusted sound, "I've become you! All I need is the hair do and I'm you!"
"Spike, just sing something," Angel said. Spike tested his patience at the best of times and right now his ramblings were definitely trying his patience and his willingness to help Spike.
Spike turned away from Angel, opened his mouth to sing but something distracted him. He walked over to the doorway and stared at the person standing there.
"Connor," Angel said, startled by his son's appearance.
Connor ignored Angel and looked at Cordelia, "You weren't at home so I thought you might be here, with him." He looked at Spike, who was looking him up and down, in annoyance. "Who's he?"
"Who are you?" Spike asked. He moved closer to Connor, not taking his eyes off of him. "You look and smell like them but you're not. You're human too so how can you be part of them?"
"What's he talking about?" Connor asked Angel.
"I think he senses me and your moth.Darla," Angel said. Both he and Connor looked uncomfortable. They'd never talked about Darla.
"Who are you?" Spike repeated. "You're human but you're them."
"I don't know who I am," Connor said. "But I know what you are and you're going to die." He lunged at Spike with a stake, intent on dusting him. Spike stepped back and spread his arms, giving Connor easy access. Angel wasn't letting them get their way. He grabbed Spike and pulled him out of the way.
"Enough," Angel said. "No one's dying."
"He's a demon, a vampire, he deserves to die."
"He's right," Spike said, pulling away from Angel. "I should die." Spike looked at Angel, "You'll kill me too, when you find out what I did."
"What happened?" Angel asked. Spike kept referring to something that he'd done. What could Spike have done that would have driven him insane?
Spike ignored Angel's question and kept rambling, "I didn't want this! If I had I would have gone to the witch. I wanted to be what I was, not what she'd made me. I didn't go through all that for this! All I wanted to do was rest in peace. I sang that to her once, wanted her to leave me alone but she wouldn't! How did you get rid of her?" Spike once again fell to the floor, "How did you get her to forgive you? You tortured her, tried to kill her, killed people she cared about, but she still loved you. How did you do it?"
"Who's he talking about?" Gunn asked.
"No idea," Angel said. "I don't know who he's talking about."
"What?" Connor said, mockingly. "You torture so many women that you can't remember them all?"
Angel looked at Connor, "I remember every single person that I've ever hurt, every scream and every plea." Angel thought about what Spike had said. Could he be talking about Drusilla? That didn't make any sense, Spike would never tell Drusilla to leave him alone but who else could it be.
"Really," Connor said, breaking into Angel's thoughts. "Then you must remember who he's talking about."
"I think I do," Angel said. "Lorne, can you find out for sure?"
Lorne nodded and looked down at Spike, "If you can just get him to sing."
"Spike," Angel said, trying a new tact. "She wants you to sing." Spike's face perked up a little and Angel noticed that, "If you sing than maybe I can help you find a way to get her forgiveness."
"All I have to do is sing?" Spike asked.
"That's right," Angel said.
Spike nodded. If this was what it took then he'd sing. He thought for a minute and settled on a song he'd heard while hiding out in a theater on his way back from Africa:
"No pain could be deeper, no life could be cheaper, No point anymore if she can't love me, No hope she would do so, no dream to pursue so I look to myself, despise all the things I see, For I know that she can not set me free, Let the world be done with me."*
Spike finished singing and sank back down to the floor, humming the melody he'd been singing.
"Well?" Angel asked. "Is he faking or is he really crazy?"
"Oh he's crazy all right," Lorne said. "Guilt does that to a person."
""Guilt?" Angel asked. "No, that's not possible. Spike's never felt guilty a day in his life."
"Then he must be making up for it," Lorne says. "You should know. How did you feel when you got yours back?'
"When I got what back?" Angel asked.
"Your soul." Lorne explained.
"Sure I felt guilty," Angel said. "But does that have to do with Spike?"
"Because you are no longer the only vampire with a soul," Lorne said. "Your pal Spike here, has one of his very own."
"What?" Angel asked, stunned. He looked at Spike, "Is this true? Did you get your soul back?"
Spike's face crumpled, "I didn't want it back. I was supposed to turn back into what I was, into what you made me. Now I'm you, all because you didn't warn me!"
"Spike," Angel said, putting his hand on Spike's shoulder.
"Leave me alone!" Spike ordered. "All of you!" He pulled away from Angel and shouted, "I never wanted to come here! She sent me!" He turned and ran out the door, leaving a stunned Angel and crew behind him.
*I do not own this song. All rights belong to Disney. I just love the song. Don't sue me! I have nothing you would want.