Title: Shallow Sleep
Author: Kafe (used to be 'Soren')
Rating: PG-13 (??) I'm not good with ratings _
Warnings: This is my first fic...be kind please...thats all really....
Pairings: RL/SB
Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to Warner Brothers and the wonderful JK Rowling. I do not own them.
Notes: Slash, first fic warning...a plot thats been way over done (Well I think it is...I dont read much RL/SB to be honest...) but you have to start somewhere...right?

Thanks for all the reviews!! I wouldn't have continued with this without them!!!

(((I will do review replies in the next chapter :) Seeing as I have to study for finals now...)))

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[ Chapter Two ] Fool's Paradise

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( Been a fool, been a clown

Lost my way from up and down

And I know, yes I know

And I see it in your eyes

That you really weren't surprised at me at all )

~

Sirius once more bashed his head against the tiles in the 5th year dorms bathroom. The running water had long since became cold and the droplets that continuously ran down his skin made him shiver. However at the moment he didn't care if he froze to death. He wanted to shrivel up and die form the embarrassment that was currently running through his veins. Just thinking about it made him want to bash his head once again into the tiles.

Which was just what he did.

He couldn't believe what he had done. What kind of person was he? What kind of FRIEND was he? He knew that he was often considered a smart student by the staff of Hogwarts, one of the finest actually. So why did he let that question slip? In all probability his brain had probably taken a short vacation at the time, which tended to happen a lot when Remus was around. Why else would he have said it? Oh gods...Maybe if he bashed his head one more time he could forget it ever happened.

"Moony, do you want to take a shower with me....?"

It had been the most embarrassing thing he had ever said in his whole miserable existence. It was even more embarrassing then that time he had gotten caught under magical mistletoe with Professor McGonagall, and he had been forced to kiss her on the lips with the whole Hogwarts student body watching.

Much more.

Sirius whimpered and closed his eyes tight, deciding to lay his head gently on the tiles instead of mashing into them once more against the hard tiles. He couldn't help but think back to what he had said, and the reaction that had came about when he said it. Moony eyes had been so panic filled. Like he wanted to bolt from the room that very instant. While that alone had been pretty bad it wasn't the worst of it.

Lily had been there to hear it.

Normally, if he had been alone with Remus and James he could have brushed it off and pretended it didn't happen, and after a couple of weeks Remus would have forgotten it as well. Or at least push it far back into a corner of his mind and never bring it up again. James would have probably done the same thing was well. Since he was on the Quidditch team James hadn't probably even given it a second though, after all; after games showers in the locker room were often shared.

However Lily had been there.

Oh Gods, how embarrassing...Lily knew what he felt for Remus, she was the only person he had ever told. The thought of even mentioning it to Prongs made him shiver. James was his best mate and all, and he always would be. And perhaps that was the reason why he couldn't bring himself to tell him.

He was in love with Remus, and Lily knew.

She would probably never let him get away with it! While Lily appeared to be well mannered and polite (she only ever seemed to get mad at James) he knew she would love to rub his nose in it.

And knowing Lily she was going to enjoy doing it. Best not to think about that now though...

Sirius raised his head and blinked. The sound of Lily and James could no longer be heard, knowing that their fight wouldn't have ended that quickly it was safe to assume that they had just moved elsewhere. Meaning that it was time to get out of his horribly cold shower and face the music. Oi, not that there was any music to face per say...just Lily. Time to face the Lily music. Which would probably consist of small shark-like comments.

Sometimes he wished he never told her.

He let out a distressed grunt as he pried himself out of the cold shower and turned off the water. Not even bothering to grab his silver and green towel (a gag gift from James the last Christmas) to get dry, he simply pulled his robes on and brushed back his still wet hair.

He took a deep breath and put a smile on his face. It was best to face the world with a smile after all.

--

Remus had long since left his place on his bed; when he had started to hear the sounds of Sirius getting dressed, the shuffling of cloth and of things being dropped, he knew he couldn't just be laying there when he came out. Everyone knew that when meeting with a normal DRY Sirius they were meeting the closest thing to a sex god in the whole school. Whispers were known to be muttered when he passed by, sometimes even followed by the occasional moan.

He had once even seen a blush covering Severus Snapes face when Sirius passed by him, and Severus was straight!

Apparently Sirius's beauty transcended the sexes.

So, all in all, It would not have been a good idea at all for Remus to be laying on his bed when Sirius came out of the shower, wet and dripping. In reality it wouldn't be a good idea at all if what he thought was happening to him really was what was happening to him.

So he had done the thing that came quickest to mind and ran down the stairs into the common room, where James and Lily had also relocated once they had gotten the point that fighting over what he was beginning to call 'The Sirius Shower Mishap' or 'TSsM' for short in is presence was upsetting him. He knew it was a bit soon to already have a 'shorter' name for the most embarrassing moment of this life, but since James and been witness to it, the chances of him forgetting it anytime soon where slim. Therefore the shorten name 'TSsM' had been in stated.

He had just settled down in one of the big infamous Gryffindor chairs when Sirius's foot steps were heard descending the stairs.

The feeling of relaxation left him before he even realized it was there.

He felt like crying.

Just because he had left the dorm rooms didn't mean he wouldn't see a wet Sirius! After all Sirius craved attention, and if no one was there to great him fresh out of the shower he would make it down to the common room...regardless if he was leaving a water trail behind or not.

He didn't have much time to dwell on the fact before a "Hay Remmy!" was heard. Remus briefly considered picking up the book beside his chair and pretending that he didn't hear him however he knew if he did this he would most likely end up with Sirius in his lap trying to get his attention.

So he did the natural thing and looked up at Sirius.

...and was suddenly reminded yet again why he was trying to stay away from Sirius. His scent had instantly melted itself into Remus's brain giving him an almost drugged feeling. A drunk feeling. His eyes couldn't help but drop a little, looking out through lowered lashes Remus and managed to get out a short greeting. It was hard talking when trying to keep a goofy grin off ones face.

Sirius blinked a couple of times and seeing that he was going to get no more from 'Remmy', he wondered off to the other side of the room where Lily and James were currently involved with a game of Wizards Chess.

Sirius didn't notice that Remus's eyes had followed him.

Remus watched as the warm light from the fire brushed and caressed Sirius's still damp skin as he conversed with Lily and James over their game. It was amusing to watch as Sirius laughed at something Lily had said. Then a second later grin at something Prongs had hissed back to Lily. It seemed that smiles never left Sirius's face. Maybe thats what was so captivating...

Remus hand started to trail its way down to his lap and was now lingering and caressing one of this thighs as he watched Sirius move back and forth, trying to help Lily and James at the same time and failing miserably. His hand started to move with a mind of its own and was about to diverge into a more pleasurable routine when his brain finally started to work up again. His eyes had widened and he jerked his hand away suddenly. Horror etching its way onto his face.

What had he almost done?! In the middle of the common room.....with innocent first years running about and the object of his fantasy only 15 feet away? The only good thing was the no one had seemed to notice anything amiss. The other students were to busy going here and there, Peter had been...well no one was sure where Peter was, but the important thing at the moment was that he wasn't there! James and Lily were to focused on their chess game and Sirius....Sirius was to focused on James and Lily.

However it was still to close. He had rarely had the urge to touch himself when he was alone, let alone do it in front of others! The feeling of disgust and firmly wedged itself into his brain and started to breed, and he started to get a faint nauseous feeling running around the sides of his stomach.

James was the only one who he planned on ever letting know the problems that were currently striking his body; it was supposed to be a secret between friends. He didn't doubt James, he could keep secrets for years, however he was starting to doubt himself. How could be keep it a secret if he couldn't keep it in his pants?!

Something told him that he would need to go check out some books from the library on Female Werewolf mating habits. Remus couldn't help but wonder if it could get any worse. First he was a freak among humans and now he was a freak among wolves.

Knowing his luck he could probably get pregnant too.

.......

...........Great.

Having the familiar feeling of depression welling up made him realized that if he kept thinking in the same direction he was probably going to go up to the Astronomy Tower and throw himself off. Best to clear his head and think happy thoughts.

Lemon drops. Tea. Books. Hot Chocolate. Hot Sirius covered in chocolate.

Being in a much happier mood then seconds before, Remus picked up the book that was by his chair on the floor (one of the many that littered Gryffindors common room) and pretended to read it, all the while watching Sirius trying to put objects in front of the pawns on the chess board so they wouldn't get slashed in half.

It was adorable and sexy all at the same time, with a bit of charm added into the mix.

It was beautiful.

It was his Siri.

//I see your face, and smile.//

TBC...

Plot? Wha...What plot? Oy, That seemed rather slow, didn't it? Plot (assuming there is a plot of course!) will start moving along in the next chapter, with lovely!angst!picked-on!depressed!Severus making way...hum...and. other things.

Theres going to be a lot of dialogue in the next chapter too This was originally part of the first chapter, thats why it has to do more along the lines what everyone (Remus mostly..) is thinking...

Anyways; C&C Welcomed! (Craved actually...because I wont post the next chapter on FF.Net without it....I'll write it...but I wont post it if people lose interest)