Chapter Three: Lost And Alone In The Night
Gunn was the first to break the stunned silence that Spike left behind, "Okay, what just happened here?"
Angel didn't answer. He ran to the door, intent on catching Spike before he could get too far, but he was too late. Spike was already gone. He went back into the hotel, "He's gone."
"Where would he go?" Fred asked.
"I don't know," Angel said. If Spike were his normal self then Angel might have some idea of where he had gone but now that Spike supposedly had a soul things were different. He looked at Lorne, "Are you sure about his soul? That he really has one?"
"Oh yeah," Lorne said. "The pain and guilt blocked out everything else in his future. He couldn't have been faking it."
"How could he have gotten his soul back?" Gunn asked. "He go eat the wrong gypsy girl too?"
"I don't know," Angel said. "I'll add that to the list of things I'm going to ask when we find him." He turned and started to walk through the door.
"Where are you going?" Cordelia asked.
"I'm going to find Spike before he hurts himself or someone else." Angel said. He looked down and saw a piece of paper in the doorway. It was rolled up and partly burned. Angel leaned down and picked it up. It looked like a hand-rolled cigarette. It smelled like Spike but Angel sensed something underneath, something familiar but he couldn't quite place it. Angel unrolled the cigarette. There was writing on it but it was blurred by the tobacco and smoke. Angel couldn't even recognize the handwriting.
"What's that?" Cordelia said, looking at Spike's cigarette.
"I think it's what Spike was looking for," Angel said. He handed it to Cordelia. "See if you guys can figure out what it says. I'll be back once I've found Spike." Then he hurried outside. He just stood there for a minute, trying to sense which way Spike could have headed.
"Why do you want to find him?" Connor asked. He had followed Angel out of the hotel. "Who is he to you?"
"Spike and I go back a long way," Angel said. He started walking in the direction the he thought Spike had gone, Connor beside him.
"Did you make him a vampire?" Connor asked.
"No," Angel said, looking back and forth for any signs of Spike. "I sired the vampire that made Spike a vampire. She was insane and could barely take care of herself, let alone Spike. So I taught him how to be a vampire."
Connor nodded, "Looks like you did a good job."
Angel shook his head, "The last time I saw Spike he was the same as he's always been. If Lorne's telling the truth and Spike has a soul it would explain why he's lost his mind. The guilt alone can drive you mad."
Connor looked around, "We'll cover more ground if we split up. I'll look around my place."
Angel nodded, then stopped. Connor was being helpful in wanting to find Spike, too helpful. "Why do you want to find Spike?"
Connor shrugged, "Something to do."
"No," Angel said. "You're after him to kill him." Connor didn't answer. "I'm right, aren't I?"
"He's a vampire," Connor said. "He should die."
"No," Angel said. "Look, Spike and I go back a long way and no one wants him dead more than I do. But that was before, Spike having a soul changes everything."
"It doesn't change what he did," Connor pointed out. "You should know that as well as anyone."
"No," Angel agreed. "But it does change things." He started walking again, "And I want to know how he got his soul. There's only a few people in the world who have the power to do that." Angel looked around. It was a big city but it couldn't be too hard to find an insane vampire. The trouble was finding him before he got himself staked or worse.
Spike ran out of the hotel. He couldn't stay there. The voices just kept getting worse. He couldn't tell which were ones actually talking to him or ones that were in his head. All he knew was that he had to get out of there or the thin shred that was holding his sanity intact would break.
Spike ran through the streets of L.A., looking for a place he could hide but everywhere he went there were people or some kind of demon. Why had he even come here? He should have stayed in his basement. At least there he had some form of peace. If he just stayed there the voices would quiet for a time and he could have a few moments of rest before the voices from his past started haunting him again.
He was running through the streets when suddenly he smashed into someone, "Watch where you're going," He said, not bothering to look at who had bumped into. He started to run but the figure he had bumped into grabbed him from behind.
"I don't think so," He said, holding a stake. "I think that you should be the one who's more careful."
Spike stared at him, quickly reverting back to his William persona, "I'm sorry Headmaster. I didn't mean to lose my pass. Please don't cane me again." He dropped to a crouch and held up his hands like a frightened child.
Wesley stared down at Spike, wondering what kind of game this vampire was playing. Why wasn't he attacking and why was he cowering on the ground? He just looked at the vampire for a moment and then recognition hit. It was William The Bloody or Spike, terror of continents and killer of Slayers. Wesley had studied him during his training as a Watcher and he had heard about him from Angel but nothing he had ever learned about Spike could have prepared him for the sight in front of him.
"Get up," Wesley snapped. "I'm not fooled by this game. Now you're going to die so why don't you die on your feet instead of like a coward." Spike didn't answer so Wesley raised his arm, prepared to stake but a whimper from Spike stopped him.
"All gone," Spike chanted. He'd switched positions so now he was kneeling on the ground, swaying back and forth. "They're all gone. I was bad and they all left. They hate me now." He looked up at Wesley with tears in his eyes, "Where did they go? Why did they send me away?"
Wesley couldn't make sense of Spike was saying. Somehow the vampire had lost his mind but how had that happened. The only vampire he'd known that had truly been insane had been Drusilla. He looked at Spike, maybe there was a connection. Drusilla had been Spike's sire, perhaps some of her insanity had been passed down but that didn't make sense since Drusilla's insanity had been inflicted on her, not in her blood. There had to be some other reason for this.
"Come on," Wesley said, making an instant decision. He still had Justine's cell in his house. He'd keep Spike there until he could figure out what was going on. What was causing this insanity, if it was real at all, and if it was connected to any kind of prophecy? Vampires didn't go insane for no reason.
Wesley grabbed Spike by the arm and half-dragged the vampire towards his house. Lilah had some meeting so she wouldn't be there. Wesley was relieved about that, he didn't want anyone finding out about Spike quite yet, not until he knew what was going on.
Gunn was the first to break the stunned silence that Spike left behind, "Okay, what just happened here?"
Angel didn't answer. He ran to the door, intent on catching Spike before he could get too far, but he was too late. Spike was already gone. He went back into the hotel, "He's gone."
"Where would he go?" Fred asked.
"I don't know," Angel said. If Spike were his normal self then Angel might have some idea of where he had gone but now that Spike supposedly had a soul things were different. He looked at Lorne, "Are you sure about his soul? That he really has one?"
"Oh yeah," Lorne said. "The pain and guilt blocked out everything else in his future. He couldn't have been faking it."
"How could he have gotten his soul back?" Gunn asked. "He go eat the wrong gypsy girl too?"
"I don't know," Angel said. "I'll add that to the list of things I'm going to ask when we find him." He turned and started to walk through the door.
"Where are you going?" Cordelia asked.
"I'm going to find Spike before he hurts himself or someone else." Angel said. He looked down and saw a piece of paper in the doorway. It was rolled up and partly burned. Angel leaned down and picked it up. It looked like a hand-rolled cigarette. It smelled like Spike but Angel sensed something underneath, something familiar but he couldn't quite place it. Angel unrolled the cigarette. There was writing on it but it was blurred by the tobacco and smoke. Angel couldn't even recognize the handwriting.
"What's that?" Cordelia said, looking at Spike's cigarette.
"I think it's what Spike was looking for," Angel said. He handed it to Cordelia. "See if you guys can figure out what it says. I'll be back once I've found Spike." Then he hurried outside. He just stood there for a minute, trying to sense which way Spike could have headed.
"Why do you want to find him?" Connor asked. He had followed Angel out of the hotel. "Who is he to you?"
"Spike and I go back a long way," Angel said. He started walking in the direction the he thought Spike had gone, Connor beside him.
"Did you make him a vampire?" Connor asked.
"No," Angel said, looking back and forth for any signs of Spike. "I sired the vampire that made Spike a vampire. She was insane and could barely take care of herself, let alone Spike. So I taught him how to be a vampire."
Connor nodded, "Looks like you did a good job."
Angel shook his head, "The last time I saw Spike he was the same as he's always been. If Lorne's telling the truth and Spike has a soul it would explain why he's lost his mind. The guilt alone can drive you mad."
Connor looked around, "We'll cover more ground if we split up. I'll look around my place."
Angel nodded, then stopped. Connor was being helpful in wanting to find Spike, too helpful. "Why do you want to find Spike?"
Connor shrugged, "Something to do."
"No," Angel said. "You're after him to kill him." Connor didn't answer. "I'm right, aren't I?"
"He's a vampire," Connor said. "He should die."
"No," Angel said. "Look, Spike and I go back a long way and no one wants him dead more than I do. But that was before, Spike having a soul changes everything."
"It doesn't change what he did," Connor pointed out. "You should know that as well as anyone."
"No," Angel agreed. "But it does change things." He started walking again, "And I want to know how he got his soul. There's only a few people in the world who have the power to do that." Angel looked around. It was a big city but it couldn't be too hard to find an insane vampire. The trouble was finding him before he got himself staked or worse.
Spike ran out of the hotel. He couldn't stay there. The voices just kept getting worse. He couldn't tell which were ones actually talking to him or ones that were in his head. All he knew was that he had to get out of there or the thin shred that was holding his sanity intact would break.
Spike ran through the streets of L.A., looking for a place he could hide but everywhere he went there were people or some kind of demon. Why had he even come here? He should have stayed in his basement. At least there he had some form of peace. If he just stayed there the voices would quiet for a time and he could have a few moments of rest before the voices from his past started haunting him again.
He was running through the streets when suddenly he smashed into someone, "Watch where you're going," He said, not bothering to look at who had bumped into. He started to run but the figure he had bumped into grabbed him from behind.
"I don't think so," He said, holding a stake. "I think that you should be the one who's more careful."
Spike stared at him, quickly reverting back to his William persona, "I'm sorry Headmaster. I didn't mean to lose my pass. Please don't cane me again." He dropped to a crouch and held up his hands like a frightened child.
Wesley stared down at Spike, wondering what kind of game this vampire was playing. Why wasn't he attacking and why was he cowering on the ground? He just looked at the vampire for a moment and then recognition hit. It was William The Bloody or Spike, terror of continents and killer of Slayers. Wesley had studied him during his training as a Watcher and he had heard about him from Angel but nothing he had ever learned about Spike could have prepared him for the sight in front of him.
"Get up," Wesley snapped. "I'm not fooled by this game. Now you're going to die so why don't you die on your feet instead of like a coward." Spike didn't answer so Wesley raised his arm, prepared to stake but a whimper from Spike stopped him.
"All gone," Spike chanted. He'd switched positions so now he was kneeling on the ground, swaying back and forth. "They're all gone. I was bad and they all left. They hate me now." He looked up at Wesley with tears in his eyes, "Where did they go? Why did they send me away?"
Wesley couldn't make sense of Spike was saying. Somehow the vampire had lost his mind but how had that happened. The only vampire he'd known that had truly been insane had been Drusilla. He looked at Spike, maybe there was a connection. Drusilla had been Spike's sire, perhaps some of her insanity had been passed down but that didn't make sense since Drusilla's insanity had been inflicted on her, not in her blood. There had to be some other reason for this.
"Come on," Wesley said, making an instant decision. He still had Justine's cell in his house. He'd keep Spike there until he could figure out what was going on. What was causing this insanity, if it was real at all, and if it was connected to any kind of prophecy? Vampires didn't go insane for no reason.
Wesley grabbed Spike by the arm and half-dragged the vampire towards his house. Lilah had some meeting so she wouldn't be there. Wesley was relieved about that, he didn't want anyone finding out about Spike quite yet, not until he knew what was going on.