by Jeremy Gordon (squalldaman@hotmail.com)
Note: 11:30 PM. Bored.
Lizzie moaned, as Gordo took off her pants. He positioned himself for the kill, and suddenly---
"Jesus! You guys are fucking 13 years old!" The author, Squalldaman screamed at his computer, reading yet another bad fanfic. "These people are actors. The actors are 15 years old or something. I'd hate to be surfing online and find people writing sex stuff about me and other actors."
"UH, LIEK DUN READ IT!! READ MINE LOLOLOLOL ITS MY FIRST FANFIC EVER!!! IT'S A HOT L/G/M/E FIC, IN TEH BATHROOM! LOLOLOLOLOLOL :P" Random lemon Writer screamed at the author, in an IM. SDM (I'll be calling him that) responded with:
"Please GTFO. I don't need your crap right now."
Random Lemon Writer: UH PLZ READ MY FIC! I NEED 100 REVIEWS PLZ! OMG THNX =P
SqualldamanX: STFU, prole
Random Lemon Writer: UH THATZ NOT VRY GOOD
SqualldamanX: Neither is your writing.
But enough of SDM. Let's get on to the fic.
One day, Gordo woke up and realized he was so much fucking better than the entire cast. "Goddamn, I'm so much fucking better than the entire cast!" He got out of bed and danced for a little bit, then got dressed. He ate breakfast, and went to school.
HOLY SHIT! There was this little fuck named Frankie Muniz cashing in on Gordo's show.
Gordo in Interview: I respect Frankie. I really do.
"That little fuck! Cashing in on my goddamn show. I made this stupid thing. No one would watch it without me." Gordo mused, but Frankie and Lizzie and Miranda walked over to him.
"What up hombre?" Frankie said, trying to be cool. He didn't really need to try, since he's making 6 figures a year. Who the hell cares when your making that kind of money?
"Goddamned bastard...I mean, nm, u?" Gordo responded. Yeah, he was gonna kill them all. Someday...somehow.
"Can't believe all these people are bugging you." Lizzie noted. This fic won't center on her, because it won't.
"yeah, sux2bu" Miranda followd up with, as everyone stared at her. "What? I'm fucking better than all of you, except Gordo, cause he's a pimp."
"Thank you!"
"So, what do we do now?" Frankie asked, getting really bored. He might as well have gone home and played Superman 64.
"DEAR GOD NO! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO!" SDM yelled.
"Who the hell are you?" Everyone asked.
"Uh, a figment of your imagination. Carry on." SDM said cautiously, and faded into the background somehow.
"I'd prefer hot sex on the schoolyard, but we have classes." Lizzie said, sad.
"I'd prefer that too, but instead I'll go write some bad lemons." Miranda responded, as she and her friend both nodded.
"Kneel before Zod!" As Tudgeman yelled that, Gordo ran for his fuckin' life. It was certainly better than this.
"Right there, right there!"
"Dammit Lizzie! *grunt grunt*"
"Ooh, that's good!"
"Oh my god!"
"Thanks for the help Frankie! I couldn't glue that piece of wood to the piece of metal thing."
"Good thing I was around."
"THE HOT SEXY ADVENTURES OF LMG"
by Miranda Nuffsaid (lizziemustdie@aol.com)
"How To CURL UP IN A FUCKING CORNER AND DIE A BLOODY DEATH"
by David Gordon (Iownyourfuckingass@hotmail.com)
"That should do it." SDM put the final touches on his fanfic. It was a masterpiece! "Now to post it on ff.net..."
"Hey! There's the fuck who portrayed us all wrong!" Gordo yelled, as he jumped out of the TV with a bloody knife in hand.
"Oh shit!" SDM yelled, and ran off, with the cast chasing him.
ALTERNATE ENDINGS
"Hey! There's the fuck who portrayed us all wrong!" Gordo yelled, as he jumped out of the TV with a bloody knife in hand.
AND THEN EVERYBODY DIED.
"Hey! There's the fuck who portrayed us all wrong!" Gordo yelled, as he jumped out of the TV with a bloody knife in hand.
SDM equipped his +5 Sword of rxxrpwnness and readied for battle.
"Hey! There's the fuck who portrayed us all wrong!" Jay yelled, as he jumped out of the TV with a joint in hand.
SDM ran for his life.
THE END
Note: This is a satirical fanfic. Any cast members of LmG who read this, I enjoy your show. The acting is amazing, the storyline is phenomenal, and I---
*runs for his fucking life*
R/R