DISCLAIMER: I am in no way shape or form affiliated with Warner Bros., Amy Sherman-Palladino, or their hit series "Gilmore girls." I do not own any of the following characters, or the settings in which they take place, or the scenarios.
SUMMARY: This is one of those intermittent chapters that covers the feelings of Jess and the recent occurrence in he and Rory's very pending relationship. The title of this chapter is in reference to the song "And So it Goes," by Billy Joel. It has some very appropriate verses that remind me of the R/J relationship, and the secret of the kiss that only they (and Paris) know about.
PAIRING: Eventually, R/J.
RATING: PG
In the Blue of the Morning
And So it Goes: Him
The sound of the garbage cans near the curb crashing near Luke's made everyone in town stop. It made me stop. My heart may have even skipped a beat – which wouldn't be the first time it has since I've met Rory Gilmore. Of course, she is also the only person who's ever had that ability, and she doesn't even know it.
I didn't have to look to my left to know that it was Rory. I just knew. I don't know how, or why … I just did. And I silently scolded myself for not going in at two o'clock, like I promised, just to give myself a nice, secure, cushion of time.
I told Shane that I had to be back at two o'clock. Of course, that's probably the reason I didn't make it back on time. She's not that good with time, Shane. Doesn't wear a watch, probably has never owned one. I asked her why once, and she told me time stops for her. I don't know if she was joking or not, and to tell you the truth, I was kind of amazed I managed to get something resembling a conversation out of her, because she's never been much for conversing, either. I don't really buy into that theory. I don't really buy into any of Shane's theories, or ideas … not that she has many of her own of course. And this thing with she and I … it's a compilation of ideas, I guess you'd call it. A compilation that I think I'd like to have my name removed from right about now … of course, it's my luck that it's stuck there, in permanent ink.
I didn't mean for it to happen like that. I never do, though … things just seem to manage to kick me in the ass when I least expect it. I don't know why I was there, or how I ended up there to tell you the truth. In all honesty, I didn't plan on hanging around with Shane today. Somehow, she always manages to find me. Honestly, I could care less if I see her or if I don't. I know it's not going to last – I'm not blind. It'll only last as long as I want it to last, or until school starts and Shane finds someone who interests her more, which is bound to happen if I don't do it first.
Of course, the thing is that I don't know when I'll do it. I really haven't planned it … I've thought a little about it, but not a lot. I just know it will happen. It'll come to me when it does, and I figure, why spend all the time thinking about it until it does?
I feel guilty, though. At least, I think this is guilt. Maybe it's just a stomach bug … no, this is definitely guilt. It's the same way I felt the night I crashed Rory's car and her wrist was fractured. Except for some reason, this time it hurts more. Maybe then I just knew I had screwed up and I felt awful for injuring her. This is different … this time … I know I've really hurt her emotionally, which makes me feel awful, firstly for hurting her, secondly because bones heal – they might hurt when it rains … emotional scars last a life time, this I know. I never meant to hurt her. Never. I didn't think she'd react that way.
I think more what I meant to do was make her realize. The more time I spent with Shane while she was gone, and the more and more that I've realized distracting myself from Rory is just not an option, the more I guess I hoped this would make her see things straight. I guess in a way, I kind of wanted to make her jealous. It's sounds awful … I know.
But I'm not Dean … I won't spend the whole time waiting around for her, especially not when she didn't even give me the slightest clue what was going on in her mind, or that she was leaving. If she had, maybe it'd be different.
I don't even know what's going on with them. I haven't seen Dean since a few days after Rory left. Maybe he joined the army, got shipped off to a base in Alaska, took up moose wrestling – he is tall enough, after all.
I hated to see her like that. I've never seen her run before … I'm not sure I've seen anyone run that fast before. I've certainly never seen her leave her mother in the dust like that … and of course, Lorelai proceeded to give me a death glare like none other before picking up Rory's backpack, throwing it in the back of her Jeep, and driving off after Rory. Rory beat her, though … by at least a minute. She was running so fast.
And of course, everyone saw. If it had just been Rory running into the garbage cans, no one would've noticed, but it was the combination of her and the backpack (which I'm willing to bet weighs more than her) that made the racket. So, now, after I've managed to stay out of everyone's hair all summer, I am back in the spotlight again. For hurting Rory.
Now don't get me wrong here … because I do feel bad. And eventually, I'm going to make things right, if I can. I want to talk to her, I want to know what's going on in her mind. But the thing the Stars Hollow Gazette won't cover when this is featured on the front page tomorrow is … that I'm hurting too.
SUMMARY: This is one of those intermittent chapters that covers the feelings of Jess and the recent occurrence in he and Rory's very pending relationship. The title of this chapter is in reference to the song "And So it Goes," by Billy Joel. It has some very appropriate verses that remind me of the R/J relationship, and the secret of the kiss that only they (and Paris) know about.
PAIRING: Eventually, R/J.
RATING: PG
In the Blue of the Morning
And So it Goes: Him
The sound of the garbage cans near the curb crashing near Luke's made everyone in town stop. It made me stop. My heart may have even skipped a beat – which wouldn't be the first time it has since I've met Rory Gilmore. Of course, she is also the only person who's ever had that ability, and she doesn't even know it.
I didn't have to look to my left to know that it was Rory. I just knew. I don't know how, or why … I just did. And I silently scolded myself for not going in at two o'clock, like I promised, just to give myself a nice, secure, cushion of time.
I told Shane that I had to be back at two o'clock. Of course, that's probably the reason I didn't make it back on time. She's not that good with time, Shane. Doesn't wear a watch, probably has never owned one. I asked her why once, and she told me time stops for her. I don't know if she was joking or not, and to tell you the truth, I was kind of amazed I managed to get something resembling a conversation out of her, because she's never been much for conversing, either. I don't really buy into that theory. I don't really buy into any of Shane's theories, or ideas … not that she has many of her own of course. And this thing with she and I … it's a compilation of ideas, I guess you'd call it. A compilation that I think I'd like to have my name removed from right about now … of course, it's my luck that it's stuck there, in permanent ink.
I didn't mean for it to happen like that. I never do, though … things just seem to manage to kick me in the ass when I least expect it. I don't know why I was there, or how I ended up there to tell you the truth. In all honesty, I didn't plan on hanging around with Shane today. Somehow, she always manages to find me. Honestly, I could care less if I see her or if I don't. I know it's not going to last – I'm not blind. It'll only last as long as I want it to last, or until school starts and Shane finds someone who interests her more, which is bound to happen if I don't do it first.
Of course, the thing is that I don't know when I'll do it. I really haven't planned it … I've thought a little about it, but not a lot. I just know it will happen. It'll come to me when it does, and I figure, why spend all the time thinking about it until it does?
I feel guilty, though. At least, I think this is guilt. Maybe it's just a stomach bug … no, this is definitely guilt. It's the same way I felt the night I crashed Rory's car and her wrist was fractured. Except for some reason, this time it hurts more. Maybe then I just knew I had screwed up and I felt awful for injuring her. This is different … this time … I know I've really hurt her emotionally, which makes me feel awful, firstly for hurting her, secondly because bones heal – they might hurt when it rains … emotional scars last a life time, this I know. I never meant to hurt her. Never. I didn't think she'd react that way.
I think more what I meant to do was make her realize. The more time I spent with Shane while she was gone, and the more and more that I've realized distracting myself from Rory is just not an option, the more I guess I hoped this would make her see things straight. I guess in a way, I kind of wanted to make her jealous. It's sounds awful … I know.
But I'm not Dean … I won't spend the whole time waiting around for her, especially not when she didn't even give me the slightest clue what was going on in her mind, or that she was leaving. If she had, maybe it'd be different.
I don't even know what's going on with them. I haven't seen Dean since a few days after Rory left. Maybe he joined the army, got shipped off to a base in Alaska, took up moose wrestling – he is tall enough, after all.
I hated to see her like that. I've never seen her run before … I'm not sure I've seen anyone run that fast before. I've certainly never seen her leave her mother in the dust like that … and of course, Lorelai proceeded to give me a death glare like none other before picking up Rory's backpack, throwing it in the back of her Jeep, and driving off after Rory. Rory beat her, though … by at least a minute. She was running so fast.
And of course, everyone saw. If it had just been Rory running into the garbage cans, no one would've noticed, but it was the combination of her and the backpack (which I'm willing to bet weighs more than her) that made the racket. So, now, after I've managed to stay out of everyone's hair all summer, I am back in the spotlight again. For hurting Rory.
Now don't get me wrong here … because I do feel bad. And eventually, I'm going to make things right, if I can. I want to talk to her, I want to know what's going on in her mind. But the thing the Stars Hollow Gazette won't cover when this is featured on the front page tomorrow is … that I'm hurting too.