"It's time for dinner."
Harry shivered slightly, and looked up.
"Harry?"
"Don't want to. . ."
Snape ran a hand through the black hair, alarmed to find several strands coming out in his fingers.
"Please? Just eat a little."
Harry was pale, looking so nauseated at the mere thought of food that he didn't even notice Snape had asked nicely.
"I really don't want to" he mumbled, looking piteous. "Please don't make me."
"Harry, you're going to get really ill. . ."
Harry shook his head.
"I'm fine." He muttered.
Snape shook his head, this time, and showed Harry the hair he held in his hand.
"Harry, you look dreadful. Your hair is falling out, your skin is turning yellow, your bones are sticking out. You look like a Dementor!"
Harry stared at him for a few moments, tears welling up in dull eyes, giving a false impression of a sparkle. With a sigh, Snape pulled Harry into his arms again.
"Don't tell me you really enjoy feeling like this, hmm?" he murmered, hating the feel of Harry's ribs sticking into him. "Don't tell me you like the feel of your stomach churning because the acids in it have nowhere to go? Don't tell me you like the taste of vomit in your mouth after every meal? Don't tell me. . ."
"Enough!" exclaimed harry, tears rolling down his cheeks. His voice softened.
"Enough. Stop it, please, stop it. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it."
He curled up into a ball, but Snape refused to let him go.
"I know you do, Harry. It's addictive. You need to understand. You need to see what it's doing to you."
"But I don't want to. I just want to stay ignorant."
"Do you? Do you want to go through life being too scared to understand, too scared to look for answers? Do you want to run and hide for ever?"
"No" said harry, his eyes meeting Snape's truthfully. "I want to disappear."
*******************************************
THE END.
***********************************************
Hahaha no, not really.
Snape looked at Harry, who was gazing at the wall.
"I'm going to call Albus."
Harry tensed, but relaxed as Snape finished his sentence.
"You can stay here for the time being. . .if you would like to. I will look after you. But I mean I WILL look after you, and if I have to force you to eat then so be it."
"Why?"
"Because even if you can't see it, you still have some hope left in your life. You are far from stupid; you will be able to get a good job, and make something of your life. I refuse to sit back and watch you destroy your body when there are so many positive paths you can take."
Harry nodded silently, and then flinched again at Snape's next words.
"And speaking of destroying your body, let me see your arms."
He shook his head and turned away, knowing it was in vain. Snape gently but forcefully rolled up his sleeves and inspected the damage. He 'hmm'ed and ran a long finger over a few of them.
"If I heal them, will you promise not to do it again?"
Harry looked at Snape.
"I'll try."
"Harry, anyone can try. You have to believe. You have to say 'I will', and mean it."
"But. . .I don't think I want to. . ."
Snape pulled Harry close to him, at the same time wondering if he was under the Imperius. He had never been this nice to anyone. . .
"I know you don't. Well actually, I can't say I fully understand."
Harry looked curiously at him, and Snape sighed.
"The Dark Mark. It felt. . .like a curse and a blessing all at once. Some days it felt like my only friend; my contact with people who at the time seemed to care about me. Other days, it felt like the weight of the world on my arm. So, in some way I do understand."
Harry nodded silently. He was ghostly pale, and Snape wondered if he'd heard a word that had been said.
"Harry, do you feel alright?"
Harry looked up with glazed eyes, and his head lolled back onto Snape's shoulder.
"I. . .I don't feel very well."
Snape looked wide-eyed at the trembling, clammy boy.
"Harry! Look at me!" He tried to quell the rising panic in his voice, unsuccessfully. Harry's eyes grew wide, and he suddenly shrank away from Snape.
"No, uncle, please! No! NO! Stop it, please stop, it hurts so much, please!"
He winced, several times, flinching further away from Snape each time. Then, suddenly he went quiet, and very stiff. Hissing sounds began to come out of his mouth, and his shoulders twitched with some sort of strain. And then he was shivering slightly, knees hunched up, and then. . .Snape shifted so he could see. Harry was hunched up, eyes still closed, and seemed to be drawing something on his arms. He began to tremble even more violently, his breath coming in ragged gasps, and then finally let out an ear-splitting shriek and fell limp to the floor. Snape joined him in a second, frantically shaking Harry and brushing his hair back. It was obviously a flashback of some sort. . .
Harry almost gave him a heart attack by suddenly staring up at him with bright green orbs. The circles under his eyes stood out proudly on the chalky skin, and Snape felt the insane urge to hug the boy and never let go. He settled for silently picking him up and taking him into Snape's bedroom. He would be damned if he let the boy sleep alone tonight. Murmuring absently to the boy, he kicked off his shoes and outer robe, and the boy's, and lay next to him. Harry lay tense for a moment, obviously not wanting to seem awake.
"It's ok, Harry. I'm not going to ask you any questions. I just want you to relax, alright?"
Harry shook his head, and without warning rolled over and threw up on the floor. Shivering, whether with fear of what Snape would do to him or illness, he curled up into a foetal position facing away from Snape. The potions master remained unfazed, and did a quick cleaning spell, then he gently but insistently tugged at Harry's shoulders until he turned over.
The boy seemed to be full of surprises. Snape had expected to have to force- feed him a relaxing potion, but he moved straight away close to Snape, burying his mop of unruly curls in the front of the wizard's robes as though to hide. Absently Snape began murmuring gently under his breath to Harry. He didn't know what he was saying, but it obviously had a good effect as Harry slowly relaxed, and leaned further into Snape's arms. Snape didn't know who fell asleep first.
**************************************
A fly on the wall would have been surprised to see the happy expression on Dumbledore's face to find his star student in bed with an ex-Death Eater old enough to be his father. But the blue eyes were twinkling and there was the unmistakable twitch of his lips underneath the bushy beard as he surveyed the scene in front of him. They both looked peaceful and contented and Dumbledore had no intention of waking either of them, but it was a nice sight to behold, even if Harry had become too skinny again. Like so many times before, Dumbledore had complete faith in his Potions Master to sort Harry out.
**************************************
Snape stirred slightly, and almost had a heart attack when he felt a warm body pressed up against him. The person must have felt him stiffen, for it gave out a soft mewling noise and moved closer. Oh, of course. Harry. Snape allowed himself to relax, but it was too late. Harry opened an eye and looked at Snape.
"How do you feel?"
It was a stupid question, and hardly worthy of an answer, but Harry gave a pathetic smile.
"Fine thanks."
Touché, thought Snape. A very suitable answer for the question. They lay in silence for a few moments, before Harry spoke again.
"Thank you."
For what? Sharing his bed, offering his help?
"You're welcome."
Further silence; but it didn't feel oppressive or awkward. Just. . .quiet. Snape wasn't sure that he wanted Harry to be thinking too deeply. He hadn't eaten yet.
"I'm starving" he said in a would-be casual voice. "Can I get you anything?"
It was a test and they both knew it. Snape didn't like breakfast; he found it a boring meal, and he was never hungry in the morning anyway. But he would eat a rotting Hippogriff if it would tempt Harry.
"No. I mean, no thanks." Harry caught sight of Snape's pointed expression. "A glass of water? And a slice of toast." Was delivered in a more resigned tone. Snape wasn't convinced; it was very little, especially for such a thin boy. But at least it would mean there was some food in his stomach. He summoned a house-elf to get breakfast and then went to floo Albus. However an image of the Headmaster appeared instead of his face, smiled beatifically, and said,
"I came in earlier and saw you and Harry. I'm glad he seems to be trusting you. Please look after him for the rest of the week, I believe your company does him good. I have a meeting with Fudge in London, so I won't be available today. Thank you for calling, and have a nice day."
And then with a wink and a smile the magical mirror image of Dumbledore disappeared with a pop. Snape walked through and saw Harry looking at the slice of toast on the plate. He couldn't see the boy's face underneath the mass of black curls.
"Come on, eat up." he tried cheerfully. No response. He moved over to harry, and put a hand on his shoulder.
"Harry?"
Harry's shoulders gave a quickly suppressed shudder, and Snape sank to his knees next to the chair, having no idea about how to handle this. On one hand, he was all in favour of physically comforting the boy. On the other hand, he would not get fooled into forgetting about the boy's food.
"Harry. You need to eat this. Just one little slice of toast, hmm? It's only a tiny bit."
Harry shook his head mutely, and a tear splashed onto the toast.
"Harry" said Snape sharpening his tone a little. Harry winced, but didn't pull back as Snape lifted the toast towards Harry's mouth. Unwillingly he opened up and took a bite of toast, chewing it and swallowing. It was a long and arduous process, but eventually the toast and water was gone. Sniffling miserably, Harry stood up, and suddenly filled with anger, Snape pulled him back down again, grabbed Harry's chin so their eyes were locked, and spoke dangerously.
"I will NOT tolerate you making yourself sick in my rooms. I have not spent the last twenty minutes virtually force-feeding you for you to just vomit it up again, do you understand? I am not prepared to stand for this sort of behaviour. If you want to get better, you're just going to have to try a bit yourself."
Shaken, Harry nodded tremulously, trying to hide his tears. Snape sighed, hating himself for being so harsh, but knowing that he had to shock Harry a bit, and opened his arms to the boy. Harry, obviously still weak, buried his head in Snape's robes and began to cry in earnest. Snape couldn't hear exactly what he was saying, but there was some talk of terror, and hurting. . .he blanked out most of it, and tried to concentrate on projecting feelings of warmth to the boy.
It must have worked, because Harry eventually stopped shaking, and lay still and easy in Snape's arms.
*** Oh dear, I've ended this chapter exactly the same way as the last one! To the reviewer who told me it's 'death warmed over', it's not, it's 'death warmed up' in England. I'm English, and Harry Potter and JK Rowling are English therefore I have no intention of using American language/grammar. But thank you for the reviews, everyone! ***
Harry shivered slightly, and looked up.
"Harry?"
"Don't want to. . ."
Snape ran a hand through the black hair, alarmed to find several strands coming out in his fingers.
"Please? Just eat a little."
Harry was pale, looking so nauseated at the mere thought of food that he didn't even notice Snape had asked nicely.
"I really don't want to" he mumbled, looking piteous. "Please don't make me."
"Harry, you're going to get really ill. . ."
Harry shook his head.
"I'm fine." He muttered.
Snape shook his head, this time, and showed Harry the hair he held in his hand.
"Harry, you look dreadful. Your hair is falling out, your skin is turning yellow, your bones are sticking out. You look like a Dementor!"
Harry stared at him for a few moments, tears welling up in dull eyes, giving a false impression of a sparkle. With a sigh, Snape pulled Harry into his arms again.
"Don't tell me you really enjoy feeling like this, hmm?" he murmered, hating the feel of Harry's ribs sticking into him. "Don't tell me you like the feel of your stomach churning because the acids in it have nowhere to go? Don't tell me you like the taste of vomit in your mouth after every meal? Don't tell me. . ."
"Enough!" exclaimed harry, tears rolling down his cheeks. His voice softened.
"Enough. Stop it, please, stop it. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it."
He curled up into a ball, but Snape refused to let him go.
"I know you do, Harry. It's addictive. You need to understand. You need to see what it's doing to you."
"But I don't want to. I just want to stay ignorant."
"Do you? Do you want to go through life being too scared to understand, too scared to look for answers? Do you want to run and hide for ever?"
"No" said harry, his eyes meeting Snape's truthfully. "I want to disappear."
*******************************************
THE END.
***********************************************
Hahaha no, not really.
Snape looked at Harry, who was gazing at the wall.
"I'm going to call Albus."
Harry tensed, but relaxed as Snape finished his sentence.
"You can stay here for the time being. . .if you would like to. I will look after you. But I mean I WILL look after you, and if I have to force you to eat then so be it."
"Why?"
"Because even if you can't see it, you still have some hope left in your life. You are far from stupid; you will be able to get a good job, and make something of your life. I refuse to sit back and watch you destroy your body when there are so many positive paths you can take."
Harry nodded silently, and then flinched again at Snape's next words.
"And speaking of destroying your body, let me see your arms."
He shook his head and turned away, knowing it was in vain. Snape gently but forcefully rolled up his sleeves and inspected the damage. He 'hmm'ed and ran a long finger over a few of them.
"If I heal them, will you promise not to do it again?"
Harry looked at Snape.
"I'll try."
"Harry, anyone can try. You have to believe. You have to say 'I will', and mean it."
"But. . .I don't think I want to. . ."
Snape pulled Harry close to him, at the same time wondering if he was under the Imperius. He had never been this nice to anyone. . .
"I know you don't. Well actually, I can't say I fully understand."
Harry looked curiously at him, and Snape sighed.
"The Dark Mark. It felt. . .like a curse and a blessing all at once. Some days it felt like my only friend; my contact with people who at the time seemed to care about me. Other days, it felt like the weight of the world on my arm. So, in some way I do understand."
Harry nodded silently. He was ghostly pale, and Snape wondered if he'd heard a word that had been said.
"Harry, do you feel alright?"
Harry looked up with glazed eyes, and his head lolled back onto Snape's shoulder.
"I. . .I don't feel very well."
Snape looked wide-eyed at the trembling, clammy boy.
"Harry! Look at me!" He tried to quell the rising panic in his voice, unsuccessfully. Harry's eyes grew wide, and he suddenly shrank away from Snape.
"No, uncle, please! No! NO! Stop it, please stop, it hurts so much, please!"
He winced, several times, flinching further away from Snape each time. Then, suddenly he went quiet, and very stiff. Hissing sounds began to come out of his mouth, and his shoulders twitched with some sort of strain. And then he was shivering slightly, knees hunched up, and then. . .Snape shifted so he could see. Harry was hunched up, eyes still closed, and seemed to be drawing something on his arms. He began to tremble even more violently, his breath coming in ragged gasps, and then finally let out an ear-splitting shriek and fell limp to the floor. Snape joined him in a second, frantically shaking Harry and brushing his hair back. It was obviously a flashback of some sort. . .
Harry almost gave him a heart attack by suddenly staring up at him with bright green orbs. The circles under his eyes stood out proudly on the chalky skin, and Snape felt the insane urge to hug the boy and never let go. He settled for silently picking him up and taking him into Snape's bedroom. He would be damned if he let the boy sleep alone tonight. Murmuring absently to the boy, he kicked off his shoes and outer robe, and the boy's, and lay next to him. Harry lay tense for a moment, obviously not wanting to seem awake.
"It's ok, Harry. I'm not going to ask you any questions. I just want you to relax, alright?"
Harry shook his head, and without warning rolled over and threw up on the floor. Shivering, whether with fear of what Snape would do to him or illness, he curled up into a foetal position facing away from Snape. The potions master remained unfazed, and did a quick cleaning spell, then he gently but insistently tugged at Harry's shoulders until he turned over.
The boy seemed to be full of surprises. Snape had expected to have to force- feed him a relaxing potion, but he moved straight away close to Snape, burying his mop of unruly curls in the front of the wizard's robes as though to hide. Absently Snape began murmuring gently under his breath to Harry. He didn't know what he was saying, but it obviously had a good effect as Harry slowly relaxed, and leaned further into Snape's arms. Snape didn't know who fell asleep first.
**************************************
A fly on the wall would have been surprised to see the happy expression on Dumbledore's face to find his star student in bed with an ex-Death Eater old enough to be his father. But the blue eyes were twinkling and there was the unmistakable twitch of his lips underneath the bushy beard as he surveyed the scene in front of him. They both looked peaceful and contented and Dumbledore had no intention of waking either of them, but it was a nice sight to behold, even if Harry had become too skinny again. Like so many times before, Dumbledore had complete faith in his Potions Master to sort Harry out.
**************************************
Snape stirred slightly, and almost had a heart attack when he felt a warm body pressed up against him. The person must have felt him stiffen, for it gave out a soft mewling noise and moved closer. Oh, of course. Harry. Snape allowed himself to relax, but it was too late. Harry opened an eye and looked at Snape.
"How do you feel?"
It was a stupid question, and hardly worthy of an answer, but Harry gave a pathetic smile.
"Fine thanks."
Touché, thought Snape. A very suitable answer for the question. They lay in silence for a few moments, before Harry spoke again.
"Thank you."
For what? Sharing his bed, offering his help?
"You're welcome."
Further silence; but it didn't feel oppressive or awkward. Just. . .quiet. Snape wasn't sure that he wanted Harry to be thinking too deeply. He hadn't eaten yet.
"I'm starving" he said in a would-be casual voice. "Can I get you anything?"
It was a test and they both knew it. Snape didn't like breakfast; he found it a boring meal, and he was never hungry in the morning anyway. But he would eat a rotting Hippogriff if it would tempt Harry.
"No. I mean, no thanks." Harry caught sight of Snape's pointed expression. "A glass of water? And a slice of toast." Was delivered in a more resigned tone. Snape wasn't convinced; it was very little, especially for such a thin boy. But at least it would mean there was some food in his stomach. He summoned a house-elf to get breakfast and then went to floo Albus. However an image of the Headmaster appeared instead of his face, smiled beatifically, and said,
"I came in earlier and saw you and Harry. I'm glad he seems to be trusting you. Please look after him for the rest of the week, I believe your company does him good. I have a meeting with Fudge in London, so I won't be available today. Thank you for calling, and have a nice day."
And then with a wink and a smile the magical mirror image of Dumbledore disappeared with a pop. Snape walked through and saw Harry looking at the slice of toast on the plate. He couldn't see the boy's face underneath the mass of black curls.
"Come on, eat up." he tried cheerfully. No response. He moved over to harry, and put a hand on his shoulder.
"Harry?"
Harry's shoulders gave a quickly suppressed shudder, and Snape sank to his knees next to the chair, having no idea about how to handle this. On one hand, he was all in favour of physically comforting the boy. On the other hand, he would not get fooled into forgetting about the boy's food.
"Harry. You need to eat this. Just one little slice of toast, hmm? It's only a tiny bit."
Harry shook his head mutely, and a tear splashed onto the toast.
"Harry" said Snape sharpening his tone a little. Harry winced, but didn't pull back as Snape lifted the toast towards Harry's mouth. Unwillingly he opened up and took a bite of toast, chewing it and swallowing. It was a long and arduous process, but eventually the toast and water was gone. Sniffling miserably, Harry stood up, and suddenly filled with anger, Snape pulled him back down again, grabbed Harry's chin so their eyes were locked, and spoke dangerously.
"I will NOT tolerate you making yourself sick in my rooms. I have not spent the last twenty minutes virtually force-feeding you for you to just vomit it up again, do you understand? I am not prepared to stand for this sort of behaviour. If you want to get better, you're just going to have to try a bit yourself."
Shaken, Harry nodded tremulously, trying to hide his tears. Snape sighed, hating himself for being so harsh, but knowing that he had to shock Harry a bit, and opened his arms to the boy. Harry, obviously still weak, buried his head in Snape's robes and began to cry in earnest. Snape couldn't hear exactly what he was saying, but there was some talk of terror, and hurting. . .he blanked out most of it, and tried to concentrate on projecting feelings of warmth to the boy.
It must have worked, because Harry eventually stopped shaking, and lay still and easy in Snape's arms.
*** Oh dear, I've ended this chapter exactly the same way as the last one! To the reviewer who told me it's 'death warmed over', it's not, it's 'death warmed up' in England. I'm English, and Harry Potter and JK Rowling are English therefore I have no intention of using American language/grammar. But thank you for the reviews, everyone! ***