Disclaimer: I don't own Cabaret. I don't own Cabaret. I don't own Cabaret. Honest. I did "borrow" a few quotes from the film for this chapter though…I don't own those quotes. Bob Fosse does, Kander & Ebb probably do, and I guess Michael York does because he said them. Thank you and have a happy day.

Note: Hey it's almost Christmas! Happy Holidays everyone! Please send me feedback on my story…Lord knows I need it! Love, Musetta

And now…my story…

Sally was lying on the sofa in the sitting room, drifting in and out of sleep and in the meantime, marveling at Jonathan's beautiful home. When he had said he lived in London, she had imagined a fancy townhouse in the heart of the city, not a sprawling country house on the city's outskirts. The house reminded her of Max's country estate outside of Berlin, where she and Brian and Max had spent a few weekends. It seemed so long ago now…She was still in shock about seeing Brian at the train station. It had been so unexpected; she had just looked up and there he was, right in front of her, without any warning or anything. He looked exactly the same as he did the day he left Berlin…Sally didn't know why, but for some reason she had expected him to have changed somehow. Actually, he had changed. Four months ago he would never have said such cruel things to her, or to anyone else, for that matter. Brian was too polite for that. She still couldn't believe what he had said about her coat…and in front of Jonathan, too. He had to have known that Jonathan bought it for her. It seemed to fit though, because Max had bought her the first fur coat…she wondered where that coat was now.

Anymore, Sally hated to think about those days. It felt like just yesterday when she had walked into their room at six o'clock in the morning, freezing cold and feeling terrible…she had tried to sneak by Brian but he woke up anyway…"Where have you been…where's your fur coat? You did it, didn't you…In God's name, why?" She could still hear him saying those things, so angry and hurt that she hadn't even consulted him before she went through with it. She hadn't been able to answer him when he asked her why she'd done it…if he were to ask her now, she still would not be able to answer. They had tried to work things out after that, but deep down they both knew it would never be the same. The decision to end the relationship had been mostly mutual, even though Sally fought it at first. She still cared how he felt about her, though…she couldn't live with herself if Brian was mad at her.
Jonathan had gone to try to smooth things out with Brian, leaving Sally with the house to herself. He had left hours ago, and Sally was not surprised that he wasn't home yet. She figured it would take a while to get things straight with Brian, if that was at all possible now. Jonathan had made a mistake when he didn't call from Berlin and warn him first. The last thing Sally wanted to was to have Brian angry with her. She loved Jonathan madly, but she still had yet to completely let go of what she felt for Brian. Seeing him at the station had only confirmed that. She knew he felt the same way, despite the remarks he had made.
Sally got up from the sofa and walked over to the beautiful, huge cherry-wood radio across the room. She turned it on and fiddled with the tuning. She didn't really know what kind of music she was looking for; just about anything would do. The house was too quiet with no one else there. Finally, she landed on something jazzy and instrumental, and sat back down on the sofa. Sally didn't want to fall asleep; she'd been sleeping too much lately. She was just starting to doze off again, however, when she heard the front door open. A few minutes later, Jonathan walked into the room.
"Well, how did it go?" Sally asked, walking over to join him.
He slid his arms around her waist and kissed her lightly. "It…it went. He's still not happy, but at least I got him to start speaking to me again. So what have you been doing all evening? I see you've made friends with the radio."
"I've been sleeping, mostly."
"Again? You slept for hours on the train!"
"I know…I've just been so tired lately."
"Well, did you eat dinner, at least?"
Sally lowered her eyes sheepishly. "No, I…I wasn't hungry."
"Then I'll fix you something now…what do you want?"
"Jonathan…I'm fine. Really. I'm not hungry."
Jonathan sighed and shook his head. "All right, but will you at least let me take you out for dinner tomorrow night?"
"Well, yes, of course."
"Do you want to go dancing, too?"
She smiled. "That sounds wonderful."
"Good." He yawned. "I'm going up to bed. You don't have to go yet if you don't want to."
"I might as well. I don't have anything else to do." They walked up the stairs together, his arm around her waist, her head lightly on his shoulder. Jonathan opened the door to Sally's room and turned on the lights. "Do you like your room?" he asked.
"It's beautiful." She wrapped her arms around his neck. "Thank you."
"For what?"
"Everything. Bringing me here. Letting me live with you. Being so good to me."
He lifted her up a little bit and kissed her. "I love you."
"I love you too. Good night, darling."
"Sleep well," Jonathan said quietly as he left the room.

******

To Sally, the next few days seemed straight out of a dream. Jonathan brought her breakfast in bed and champagne and caviar whenever she wanted. He took her to expensive restaurants, took her out dancing under the stars, and told her he loved her over and over again. She had no regrets about deciding to live in London; Berlin was the farthest thing from her mind…if only Brian were. She kept thinking about him, thinking about how hurt he must be. Jonathan's talk with him the night they had arrived hadn't resolved anything—not for Sally, at least. She had to talk to him herself, in person, not on the phone or in a letter.

She had been thinking about it for a few days now…trying to figure out what she was going to say, how she was going to say it…and most importantly, trying to figure out how she was going to do it all without Jonathan finding out. He had told her point blank that he didn't want her to talk to Brian, that Brian was so incredibly angry with her and Sally trying to do anything about it would only irritate him further. She didn't care, she had to do this for herself. Jonathan would understand that…just not now. She decided she would go the next day, when Jonathan left to take his morning walk.

Sally awoke that morning to a kiss from Jonathan. "Good morning, darling."

She opened her eyes a little. "Good morning," she said weakly. Even though she wasn't really awake yet, she could already tell that she had another headache.

"You don't have to get up yet, I just thought I'd come in and tell you that I'm getting ready to take a walk and then go to the bank. Of course, you're welcome to come with me if you want."

"I think I'll just go back to sleep…"

"All right." He kissed her again. "I love you, Sally."

"I love you too, darling," she said, still half-asleep. As soon as Jonathan had closed the door behind him, Sally forced herself to get up and get dressed. She had to leave as soon as possible so that she would have enough time to go and talk to Brian and get back home before Jonathan returned. Her headache that morning was unusually bad, and she thought briefly about just going back to bed and postponing her trip to Brian's until the next day. No, she thought, Jonathan was gone now and she had the perfect opportunity to go without his ever knowing.

She knew where Brian lived; Jonathan had shown her his house before. It didn't take long to walk there, and she wasn't planning on staying long either. She just had to tell him that this wasn't Jonathan's fault, that he hadn't planned it from the beginning, and that she had honestly thought Jonathan called him and discussed it with him first or else she would have done so herself. All right, Sally thought as she knocked on the door, here goes.

The door opened, and Brian stood there, glaring at her. "I have nothing to say to you," he told her, already starting to close the door.

Sally stopped the door with her hand. "Brian, please. I've got to talk to you."

Obviously aggravated, he sighed and reluctantly let her in. "What do you want, Sally?"

"I don't want anything. I just came to tell you that I'm sorry. This…this wasn't supposed to happen the way it did. Jonathan told me he would call you before we left Berlin and explain everything to you so that you wouldn't be surprised when we got here. I didn't ask him about it until we were already on the train here, and then he told me he hadn't called you. Brian, I thought you knew. Really. I wouldn't have gone through with this whole thing if I had known that Jonathan hadn't told you."

"And you expect me to believe that? God, Sally, I stopped believing anything you said the minute I found out about the abortion!"

Sally was unable to hide how much he had hurt her. He might as well have just slapped her across the face. "That," she began, barely able to speak above a whisper, "…that was completely unnecessary." She suddenly felt sick, and she didn't know if it was because she was so upset or because her already-bad headache had just gotten two times worse.

"You're right. The abortion was unnecessary."

"Brian…I can't believe you're bringing this up now. Didn't we talk about this months ago?"

"Yes, and talking about it then never solved anything, just like talking about you and Jonathan now won't solve anything either. You see?" He was standing in front of her, his arms crossed. Sally had never seen him so angry, not even on the day everything had fallen apart for them back in Berlin. She nodded, blinking back tears. Her eyes were closed for a minute, and when she opened them everything was foggy and blurred. The pain in her head had worsened considerably and she was getting dizzy…She tried to focus on what Brian was saying, but she couldn't hear him over the roaring in her ears. She had to sit down…lie down…something other than stand up…

"Are you all right?" Brian was asking.

"I…I'm fine…I just need to…sit down…a minute…" Sally felt him take her hand and lead her to a sofa. Or a chair. Or a bed. Or something. She couldn't tell what it was, only that she was sitting and not standing and it still wasn't helping. Everything was so blurry…damn it, if only she had stayed home and slept. "Oh God," she whispered hoarsely, "…Brian…I don't know what's wrong…with me…" His arms were around her, and he was holding her close to him.

"Do you think you can stand up now?" he asked after a few minutes.

"I…I don't know…Maybe…" She took his hands and slowly stood up. "I think I'm…all right now…I've got to go home…Jonathan doesn't know I'm here and…Oh God…" Everything was foggy again and the room was getting darker…She couldn't stand any longer, and finally, she collapsed into Brian's arms.