Disclaimer : NOT MINE. Cabaret is NOT MINE.

A/N: It is 5:18am. I have been working on this chapter ALL NIGHT LONG. It was very difficult to write, it took a lot out of me…PLEASE review. PLEASE. I am begging you. ~Musetta~

And now, my story…

Weary and exhausted, Jonathan stretched out on the sofa in his living room. In the two weeks since Sally had gotten sick, he and Brian had rarely left her side. One of them, if not both, was always there in her room to make sure she was comfortable, get her anything she needed, and if nothing else, to keep her company. It hadn't been difficult the first few days, but now it was starting to wear on both of them. They had begun to work almost in shifts—Jonathan was with Sally during the day because Brian taught during the day, then Brian would come over and stay with Sally in the evening while Jonathan made dinner and took care of things he had to do. Brian usually stayed the night; he had virtually moved in anyway. He slept in Jonathan's room because Jonathan slept in Sally's room in case she needed anything in the middle of the night.

Jonathan had not thought that taking care of her would be so hard. The most difficult thing though, for him and for Brian, was having to watch Sally's illness take control of her. It seemed to Jonathan that she got worse every day. For a while, it had just been the headaches and lightheadedness. Then the headaches got worse, and Dr. Warren had said to keep all light out of the room—shutters closed, blinds pulled, lamps off, door always kept shut when Sally had a headache. The headaches made the dizziness even worse, so much so that when Sally's head hurt she couldn't sit up at all. And that was only the first week. Jonathan couldn't believe it…just a month ago, they had arrived in London, so excited about their new life together and now…now Sally couldn't even sit up in bed when she wanted to, much less stand up or walk.

Brian was up there with her now. When Jonathan had last left the room, a few hours ago, they had been looking at a movie magazine Brian had picked up for Sally. Today had actually been a good day; her headache had gone away early in the afternoon and as of dinnertime, she had yet to have another. Jonathan glanced up at the clock—ten already. Time to go up for the night. When he got to the top of the stairs, he saw that the door to Sally's room was closed. That meant another headache. He turned out the light in the hall and quietly let himself into the room. Brian was sitting in his usual chair at the side of the bed. Jonathan pulled another chair up beside him.

"Is it a bad one?" he asked quietly. Brian nodded.

"Jonathan?" Sally's voice was weak.

"I'm here, Sally."

"I think…it's starting to go away." She opened her eyes a bit, still squinting.

"That's good, darling. Do you want anything?"

"Something to drink," she told him. "Something hot."

"I'll get you some tea."

"I'll get it," Brian offered, before Jonathan could get up.

"All right," Jonathan said. "Thanks, Bri."

Sally waited until the door closed behind Brian. "Jonathan…I have to tell you something."

He crossed the room and sat on the side of her bed. "What is it, Sally?"

She hesitated for a second. "The day I got sick…Brian was here…and I asked you to leave so I could talk to him. Do you remember?"

Jonathan nodded. Of course he remembered, he'd always wondered what that conversation had consisted of.

"Jonathan, I…I kissed him."

Jonathan just looked at her. She sounded so remorseful, so ashamed. "Sally…"

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do it…it just happened. We just…had sort of…a flashback, I guess. It was like we felt as though we had to do it…for…old time's sake. It…didn't mean anything." Well, Sally thought, it doesn't mean anything anymore.

"Why are you telling me this now?"

"I felt like I needed to…I hadn't told you for so long and it seemed like I was lying…I wanted to be honest. I don't want us to have any more secrets."

"All right. I understand."

"You won't say anything to Brian, will you?"

"No, darling…of course not."

Just then, the door opened and Brian came back in with Sally's tea. "Here," he said, sitting the cup on the table. "You can't drink it lying down. Think you can sit up yet?"

"I don't know. It's getting better. I can try." She reached back and propped the pillow up against the headboard, so that she was resting upright against the pillow.

"You all right?" Brian asked.

"I think so. The room isn't spinning and there aren't four of you anymore, so I think I'm okay." Jonathan and Brian both laughed. It was good to see her joking around again. She took the tea from Brian and sipped it slowly.

"Is it safe to turn on the lights now?" Jonathan asked. "It's a little dark in here."

Sally nodded. "I can handle it." He flicked on the lamp next to her bed. "Oh…maybe not that one yet," she said softly.

"I'm sorry, darling," he said, quickly turning it off. "How about this?" He had walked across the room and turned on the lamp that sat on her dressing table. "Better?"

"Yes, much."

"Sally?" Brian began. "Before you…I mean—"

"You can say it, Brian. Before I die."

"Sally, I have to know something."

"What is it?" She was pretty sure she knew what he was about to say.

He hesitated for a moment and looked at Jonathan, wishing he wasn't sitting there just then…but he couldn't just tell him to leave, and he had to talk to Sally now. "The baby…was it mine? Or Max's?"

"Bri…I told you then and I'll tell you now…I don't know."

"Yes, you do. I know you do."

Sally closed her eyes for a minute, then said softly, "Jonathan…would you excuse us…for a little bit?" Her voice was getting weaker.

"Sally, I'd—I'd better stay. You don't sound like you're feeling very well and—"

"Jonathan. Please. I'm not…going anywhere yet."

"That's not what I meant, Sally."

"Jonathan, come here," Brian said, walking out into the hall.

"What, Brian?" Jonathan was already agitated. First Sally had told him about the kiss, and now Brian was asking her about this.

"Look, Jonathan, if she doesn't want you to hear this, don't you think she's doing it for your own good? This is important to Sally. And important to me. We have been needing to have this conversation for four months…so just let us have it, all right?"

"I'm sorry, Brian. I didn't realize…I was being selfish. Just make sure she's all right."

"I will. I'll come get you when we're done." Brian walked back into the room, making sure to close the door behind him,

"Is he angry with me?" Sally wanted to know.

"No, of course not…he's just worried about you. If he's angry with anyone, he's angry with me. But that doesn't matter." He sat down on the side of the bed. "Now, go on."

"Brian, it…it wasn't yours." Sally lowered her eyes.

"But…how…"

"Max and I were…together a lot. And when I found out, I…I did the math, Bri. And…it just isn't possible."

"When was it, Sally?"

"One of the weekends we stayed at Max's."

"But you and I—"

"The second weekend," she said, cutting him off. "You were mad at me because you thought I was falling in love with Max. We had a fight and you left the house. Don't you remember?"

He nodded.

"Max came into my room…I was crying. He had heard us yelling. He thought you had hit me, so he came to make sure I was all right. And…that's when it was." She looked up at him, finally meeting his gaze. "I'm sorry, Brian. I'm sorry because…that was the reason I did it."

"Wh-what do you mean?"

"I never loved Max! I loved you! I wanted so much for that baby to be yours. But when I realized that it…that it wasn't, I couldn't go through with it anymore. I almost killed myself instead…I tried to. I went into the bathroom and found some of your razor blades, but then I heard you walk in and I didn't want to do that. I wanted to live because I had you."

"Oh, Sally…it was all my fault then, wasn't it?"

"No, it was my fault…My fault for sleeping with Max. My fault for having the abortion."

Brian looked at her. "Sally. You've…you've never called it that before."

"I know," she whispered. "I…don't like to. But Brian, do you realize…even if I hadn't done it, I would still be just as sick as I am right now. The baby wouldn't have lived anyway…no matter whose it was."

"But we would still be together…if you hadn't done it."

"You don't know that," Sally said quietly.

"I'm sorry, Sally. I know you love Jonathan now."

"It…doesn't matter who I love anymore."

"Yes, it does."

"No, it doesn't. I don't want Jonathan to have to lose me…to watch me die. I don't want to be the reason for his unhappiness." She paused for a second. "Or yours."

"Sally, don't worry about me. And as for Jonathan…I've known him for years, and I have never seen him as happy as he is with you."

"I'm dying, Brian. When I go…he won't be happy anymore. And it'll be my fault."

"You can't help that you're sick."

"No, but I can help that I let myself fall in love with him. That I came here, to London, with him."

"But you had no way of knowing—"

"I know what it's like to be hurt. I don't want to hurt him."

"You're not. As long as you're here, like you are right now, he's happy. He loves you so much, Sally."

"But when I—"

"Don't worry about that yet. Don't even think about it. All that counts is now. You're here now, and when you're not here anymore, Jonathan will always have memories to look back on. And they'll be happy memories."

"Brian…you will take care of him, won't you?"

"Of course I will."

"Thank you," she said softly, closing her eyes.

"Are you all right?"

"I'm fine, just…tired."

"I'll send Jonathan back in." He rose from his spot on the bed and began walking toward the door.

"Wait. I'm not done yet."

"Sally, do you really think you should—"

"I'm fine. When I'm about to die, I'll let you know."

"That's not what I meant."

"God, Bri, I know…I'm sorry. I'm just so tired of you and Jonathan treating me like I'm a little girl."

"We're just worried."

"I know. I know. I'm sorry."

"It's all right. Now, what else do we need to talk about?"

Sally was silent for a minute. "I…I never stopped loving you, Brian."

"I never stopped loving you either," he said after a slight pause. "But Sally, you do love Jonathan, don't you?"

"Yes, I do. Very much."

"So then why…"

"I just thought you should know. If you didn't already." She looked up at him. "I didn't want to die and leave you not knowing how I felt."

"Sally, don't talk like that."

"I've accepted it, Brian. I know I don't have much time left. I just wanted you to know—" She suddenly closed her eyes and lay back on the pillow behind her. "Oh…"

"Sally?"

"I'm…all right…just…dizzy…"

"Sally, I—"

"Get Jonathan," she whispered hoarsely.

Oh God, Brian thought as he ran out into the hall, Oh God, this could be it. "Jonathan!" Where was he? "Jonathan, come in here now!"

"Brian, what—" Jonathan began as he ran up stairs. He stopped short when he saw the look on Brian's face. "Oh, God."

They went back into Sally's room. Jonathan sat on the side of the bed, holding her hand. "Darling?"

"Jonathan…I can't…"

"You can't what?"

"I…I'm so dizzy…" Her voice was barely audible, her breathing was shallow. "Stay with me…I don't know…if I—"

"Shh, darling. Don't talk anymore. Just rest." He glanced over at Brian, who was sitting on the other side of the bed. "Brian," Jonathan said quietly, "Go in my bedroom and call Dr. Warren. Tell him we need him now." Brian nodded and left the room quickly. Jonathan turned his attention back to Sally. "Are you comfortable, darling?"

"Yes," she whispered. "I'm not going just…yet…"

"I know, Sally."

"Jonathan…I'm so cold…"

"Here," he said, gently pulling the covers up further. "Better?"

"A little…thank you…"

Brian walked back into the room. "He's on his way, Jonathan."

"Good. Thanks, Bri." No one spoke after that. Sally was drifting in and out of consciousness. Brian and Jonathan were on either side of her, each holding her hand. Neither of them ever took their eyes away from her.

There was a knock at the door a few minutes later. Jonathan rose silently and went to let the doctor in. Dr. Warren told Brian and Jonathan to wait for him the hall.

"This—this could be it, Brian." Jonathan buried his face in his hands.

"I know," Brian said. They stood there in silence until Dr. Warren emerged.

"Jonathan," he began, "she's asking for you."

"Is she—"

The doctor nodded. "Hurry."

Jonathan went back into the bedroom. "I'm here, Sally." He perched himself on the bed and took her hand once more.

"Jonathan…I love you so much." She was barely whispering. He kissed her hand.

"I love you too."

"I want to thank you…for bringing me here…"

"Sally, you don't need to thank me for anything."

"You took such good care of me…"

"Darling, I—"

"I love you. Don't ever forget…that I love you."

"Sally, listen to me. I love you so much—too much. I could never, ever forget what we have."

"Promise me…"

"Anything, darling."

"That you and Brian…will be friends again. When I'm gone…it will be…easier…"

"Sally, don't think about it like that."

"Promise me."

"I—I promise."

"I love you, Jonathan…" she whispered again.

"I love you too." He leaned down and kissed her gently, surprised to feel her return the kiss.

"Jonathan," Dr. Warren said from the doorway. Jonathan looked at Sally once more, then gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "I'll be back," he said. "I love you, Sally." He turned and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him. Brian was sitting in the hallway, teary-eyed. Jonathan sat down beside him, not saying a word. They sat there, grown men crying together, for what seemed like an eternity. Finally, the bedroom door opened. They both stood to face the doctor.

"I'm so sorry, Jonathan," he said solemnly, "She's gone."