A/N: After the first scene in the house, things get a little weird. Everything is happening at the same time, so I put the room at the top. Did you really think they would sleep? Not likely.

There is an overabundance of my favorite quotes in this chapter. At the end, I'll tell you what they are and who/where they're from.

~* Looking In *~

Part Five - Pains of the Past

~* All the times that I cried

All this wasting

It's all inside

And I feel all this pain

Stuffed it down

It's back again

And I lie here in bed

All alone

I can't help what I feel

Tomorrow will be okay *~

By the time they got back to the house, it was long after dark. Angel was down at the high school as soon as the sun set, followed by Giles and Dawn. Kennedy stayed home with the other potentials. She was a little freaked out by the fact that she wasn't one of them anymore.

She *was* the slayer.

And that was a little more then she could grasp at the moment.

There was a quick memorial service for Faith. Her gravesite was right across from Anya's. It was amazing how fast they could get a headstone engraved.

Then again, this was Sunnydale - home of mysterious disappearances and eternally long obituaries.

The group trudged into the livingroom, absolutely exhausted. The girls were camped out, ready for the night. They didn't say a word.

"What's all this? What are you all doing down here?"

"We thought you might want to be alone in your rooms upstairs, so we all cleared out. We'll be okay." Kennedy said, trying to crack a smile. "Promise."

Buffy went over to Kennedy and hugged her, sending a prayer to any deity who would listen that she would never have to go through anything like this. "Thank you."

"No problem."

"Can I stay down here?" Dawn asked tentatively.

"Are you sure?"

Dawn nodded. "I got used to having so many people around that I don't think I'd be able to sleep alone. And then someone else can have my room."

"Okay, um - why doesn't Giles take the guest room he's had, and then Xander can stay in Dawn's room." Willow said, practically falling asleep on her feet. She was leaning on Draco for support.

"I can camp out on the floor in someone else's room." Xander said. "Let Harry and Hermione take the bed."

"You can camp out in my room. Angel and I can take the bed. We've managed the past few nights."

"What about Ron and Lavender?" Harry asked.

Buffy ran a frustrated hand through her hair. "I have no idea. My brain isn't quite functioning on the higher level at the moment."

"If they want, they can have the bed in my room." Willow said sighing. "I'll take the floor."

"No, we're okay on the floor." Lavender said.

"They can stay in Dawn's room with us so you can keep the bed." Hermione said with a small smile.

Willow smiled at her. She knew that Hermione knew more then she was letting on, and in a way, she was grateful. "Thank you."

Willow headed up the stairs, her arm around Draco's waist for support. The rest followed suit shortly.

In fifteen minutes - midnight - the house was overcome with an unusual, eerie silence. They were all asleep -

Or were they?

~*~*Livingroom*~*~

Dawn rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling. She sighed and sat up, hearing someone sniffle.

"Kennedy? Is that you?"

Another sniffle. "It's me. Come up on the couch - I don't want to wake anyone."

Dawn got up and Kennedy shifted so she could sit down and get under the blanket. She didn't say anything. She knew that Kennedy would speak in her own time.

"I'm not ready to be the slayer. I mean, I just - " She sighed. "I was so relieved when it was all over. Faith was still alive, and that meant that none of us could be called. But now - I don't know what to do."

"You know what Buffy was like when she first found out? She was terrified. She wasn't trained, she wasn't prepared. She was this stuck-up, scared little girl from upper-class Los Angeles who just wanted to go to prom with the most popular jock and have the nicest, most expensive dress, and look great in it. Then this was dumped on her. And her whole life changed. She wasn't ready either." Dawn took Kennedy's hand. "But she learned to be."

"It's hard to believe that Buffy was ever a normal girl."

"Sooner or later, it'll be hard to believe you were ever a normal girl."

"It's already hard to believe that. At one point, I thought vampires were a thing of fairy tales and Anne Rice novels. Demons were something to read about in classical mythology, and the mouth of hell? That was reserved for religious fanatics. Now - it's all different. Nothing's the same. Everything's changed. And I'm just as scared as I was before."

"Fear is a great motivator, Kennedy. Maybe you can use it to your advantage." Dawn smiled and hopped down off the couch. She crawled into her sleeping bag and tried to go to sleep. Kennedy sat in silence on the couch looking out the window.

~*~*Giles' Room*~*~

"Giles? Are you awake?"

Giles looked over at the door, a bit confused. "Yes. Come in."

Xander opened the door, sleeping bag slung over his arm, two pillows in his hand. "Would you mind - can I camp out here? The lovebirds were making googly eyes and I wanted to leave them alone. But if you don't want company - "

"No." Giles cleared his throat. "No - uh - feel free to make yourself comfortable."

Xander threw his things down on the floor and sat down. "So, you couldn't sleep either huh?"

"Not a wink."

"Are you tired?"

"Exhausted to the bone."

"I feel ya." They lapsed into silence. "Does it ever get easier?" Xander asked.

"Does what?"

"Growing up. Life. Living in this god-forsaken town. There was a time when I would have given anything to live anywhere else. But now - I just can't seem to get away. My life is here, end of discussion. And I could deal with that. But things are just - "

"Just too much? I know. We're all grieving, and it just seems to get worse before it gets any better."

"The fact of the matter is - this is no longer Buffy's fight. It used to be, but now - that 'I'm the Chosen One, I'm the Only One.' thing. It's all just a load of bullshit. One big lie."

"The greater the lie, the more people will believe it, Xander."

Xander shook his head. "Not me. Not anymore."

Giles sighed and sat pondering in silence, while Xander attempted to fall asleep, banishing all thoughts "growing up" from his mind.

~*~*Buffy's Room*~*~

"I think we scared Xander away." Buffy said, a small smile coming over her face.

"I think I can agree with that. He mumbled something about 'googly eyes' on the way out." Angel said, pulling Buffy into his arms.

"I wasn't making googly eyes. I was making - okay, maybe I was. But I'm aloud. When was the last time we were together for - what is it now? Three months?"

"I believe it was before you graduated from high school. And I've been around."

"For days at a time. Once or twice, and it's always hiding, brooding, 'you're in grave danger so I'm going to help and then leave' or - or just because."

"See?" Angel kissed the top of her head. "I am around just because."

Buffy looked down at her hands. "Only when I'm grieving. Honestly - when was the last time you saw me happy?"

"This morning. When you saw Willow happy - you were happy. Glowing almost. I miss that Buffy. Where'd she go?"

Buffy sighed and shifted. "Somewhere between consoling Xander and convincing the girls that things weren't going to hell again, I think it died. The happiness, I mean. I got my yearly glimpse of it. It was there, I waved hello - and then it said 'Adios.'"

"I doubt things happened like that Buffy."

"No. I think I might have been 'Ciao.' Or 'Aloha' maybe."

"Buffy." Buffy looked up at him. "You'll get your happy moment."

Buffy had tears in her eyes. "I can't. Because true happiness is with you. And that's beyond my reach."

Angel pulled her to him. "I'm sorry Buffy. I wish I could give you the happy fairytale ending you deserve."

Buffy sighed and gave him a weak smile. "I'm beginning to believe something I read once. Whether family or soul mate, if two people love each other, there can be no happy ending to it."

"Love is like war, Buffy - easy to begin, but very hard to stop."

Buffy leaned up to him. "Who said we had to stop?"

Angel leaned down and his lips captured hers in a soft, sweet kiss. She pulled away and smiled, her first genuine smile in months. "I love you - even if I never get my happy ending."

Angel cupped her cheek in his hand. "That's good to know - because I love you too."

Buffy closed her eyes and nestled into his arms, her head in the crook of his neck. Within moments, she was asleep, Angel watching over her like he always had been.

~* ~*Dawn's Room*~*~

Hermione and Harry were lying awake wordlessly. Harry had his arm around her waist and was rubbing his hand up and down her arm. She sighed.

"Ron, I know you're not asleep down there."

Ron groaned and sat up, careful not to wake Lavender. "Did you *really*expect me to be?"

"No."

Ron stood up and sat down on the edge of the bed. "So - what do you think of this place?"

Hermione gave a small laugh. "Honestly? Definitely somewhere I can scratch off my list of 'Places I Want to Visit Before I Die if it Doesn't Kill Me First.'" She sighed. "I mean, the people are nice, but they're sort of closed off."

"They have to be, 'Mione. They've seen evil in its prime so many times - they can't help but make you feel like you're on the outside."

"We've faced evil." Ron said.

"It's not the same. The evil we face - it's always the same, in one way or another. It always has been, and always will be tied to Voldemort. This evil? It's always different, but always out to get them." Harry sighed. "It never ends, does it?"

"Why should it?" Hermione said, as if ending were a bad thing.

"Because after all of this - they deserve a happy ending." Harry said firmly.

Hermione slipped her arms around him. "There are no happy endings. Because nothing ends."

They lapsed into yet another awkward silence.

~*~*Willow's Room*~*~

Willow was sitting on the windowsill looking out at the stars. Draco was watching her from the bed, wanting to give her space, but wanting to wrap her in his arms and never let go all at the same time. She looked so fragile and lonely sitting there, but even now, he could feel a faint aura of power radiating off of her. Her eyes had faded to green hours ago, but they still held that distant, haunted look he glimpsed only momentarily the night before, and had seen too much of since that afternoon.

The way she was out by the high school - furious, but completely worn down by a sadness that was supposed to have gone away long ago - it made his own memories come back to haunt him. All that pain he had stuffed down in the depths of his mind was rising to the surface at an alarming rate, and he felt almost suffocated by it. He needed some time alone with himself, even if it was only these few minutes, to sort things out.

He was going to have to leave tomorrow, and, though he didn't want to admit it, he knew that she wasn't going to come with him. It would have been so much easier to stop this in the beginning and not get involved at all. But it's easier to resist at the beginning than at the end, because there was no way he could turn back now - he loved her. And in his heart, he knew he couldn't have turned away even if he wanted to.

The wind rustled the curtains and Willow shivered, pulling down the window. She was still looking out as she said, "You know, you can come over here. I promise not to push you away again."

That was all the invitation he needed. Draco went over to her and wrapped his arms around her waist. She was content with just leaning her back into his chest and closing her eyes, listening to the sound of their breathing.

Willow broke the silence. "You're going to go away, aren't you?" It was more of a statement then a question, and Draco sighed, not wanting to answer it.

"Lucius is dead. Unless someone else rises to power, you're safe. Sirius wants us back by tomorrow night."

"Don't skirt around the question. Just answer it. I'm not glass - I'm not going to break."

Draco leaned his head on top of hers. "Yes. I'm leaving tomorrow." Willow nodded, forcing back the tears that threatened to fall. "But I want you to come with me."

At this unexpected proclamation, Willow spun around. "What? You - what?"

"I want you to come with me. Willow - I love you. And, I want to be with you. So I want you to come with me. Please say you will."

Willow pulled away. "I - I can't. I mean - I can't just leave them. They need me now, I - It's too fast. With everything, I just - I can't Draco."

"But you want to."

"More then anything! But - my life, for now, is here. Just like your life is away from here."

Draco ran a hand through his hair and sat down on the bed. "What are we going to do then?"

Willow shrugged. "We can visit each other. Just until things die down. Draco, I need you to understand." She knelt down and took his hands in hers. "If things were different. If things weren't so absolutely crazy around here, and they were back to at least a relative normal, I would go with you in a heartbeat. But I just lost five of my friends. I watched them all die - and I need to be with the people who are grieving with me. I can't lose control again. I know that sounds selfish, and I know you must hate me, and I can't say I blame you, but - I'm needed here right now. Do you understand?"

Draco nodded. "But there's one thing you're wrong about. I don't hate you Willow. I couldn't, not even if I tried. You understand me better then anyone else has, and as much as I want to be with you, you're right - you need to be here now. They need you to be here."

Willow got up and sat on the bed. She leaned over and kissed him softly, though the kiss was quickly growing with passion. She pulled away for a moment to look into his eyes. Green met gray, and suddenly, she just knew -

Tomorrow's going to be okay.

"I love you." She said, putting her palm over his heart.

"I love you too."

She looked up at him, eyes gleaming with lust and love, pain and tears. "Then show me."

A/N: The promised quotes :)

"Fear is a great motivator, Amanda." - Nolan in "Simply Irresistible"

"The greater the lie, the more people will believe it." - Adolph Hitler

"If two people love each other, there can be no happy ending to it." - Ernest Hemmingway

"Love is like war: easy to begin, but very hard to stop." - H.L. Mencken

"There are no happy endings. Because nothing ends." - Shmendrick the wizard in "The Last Unicorn" (movie)

"It is easier to resist at the beginning than at the end." - Leonardo da Vinci