Chapter three: How Oracle got Her Wish
Inuyasha and Shesshoumaru were hiding behind the brush right out side the vile demon's cave. Now, they just had to decide what to do next.
"Um, perhaps you should go in, brother. After all, you do have the sword fashioned out of our father's fang, the sword that can destroy 100 demons in one blow. This is better for you to do."
"Nani?" Inuyasha blinked. Shesshoumaru was fidgeting very badly.
"Well.it's just that I have more to risk here than you do, brother. You see, you could end up 'Inyasha', and that doesn't sound too terribly bad. But come one, 'Shesshomar'? That is horrendous!"
Inuyasha snickered. "Oooh, I see. Little Shesshie-chan is afwaid of the big bad demon, isn't he??"
"Oh stop it, you little half ling whelp!" Shesshoumaru snapped, vanity and ego severely injured. Aawww.
"What? I'll give you half ling whelp!" Inuyasha landed a punch, and then another. But you'd think he would learn by now. No HURT SHESSHIE!!! Hiei- chan!!
Suddenly the fierce little demon pops out of thin air, sending a dragon at Inuyasha. The dragon throws a fireball and char Inuyasha to a crisp.
Hiei looks around confused. 'Where the bloody hell am I?" he asks a shaked Shesshoumaru.
"I have no clue, but don't say ANYTHING to the narrator!" Shesshoumaru warned, stepping over to his brother. " I think he's dead."
Suddenly, out of the bushes a girl dressed as Kagome appears. "Oh, Inuyasha! Nooooo!" She wails. Kikyo fallows her, both falling to their knees and sobbing.
"Oh, no Inuyasha! Come back! It's Kagome, you know me! Please be alive." The imposter wailed.
"You're not Kagome." Shesshoumaru said.
"Yes I am!" The girl cried. Kagome's school uniform was way too small in the top and Shesshoumaru was taking full advantage of the view, but the undead miko's wails and the imitation Kagome's screaming was getting on his nerves.
Ok girls, shut up already cause you're annoying the hell out of me too. So please shut up and stop crying. I'm sure Inuyasha will be alright tomorrow morning ^_^"!
'Kagome' grabbed Inuyasha's hand and squealed when it crumbled into ash. Shesshoumaru poked Inuyasha's chest and the entire torso crumbled.
"He'll be alright tomorrow, huh?" He asked snidely. Hey, behave now, alright? I didn't mean for that to happen.
Hiei looks back and forth. "What the hell is going on here?" he asked. Oh, shut up!
"Hey, control your temper evil dear!" Shesshoumaru quipped, if he was intelligent enough to understand what actual quipping involved. "hey bitch!" Ok, that's it!
A huge tree branch falls down on top of Shesshoumaru. He struggles to get out of it, barley standing. Behave now, so that we can get on with it. After all, you get to be the main man! The hero!
"Yeah," Shesshoumaru stood a little straighter. "What a leading man I'd make."
Yes you would! A handsome leading man that would get all the ladies! Wouldn't that be something?
"Yeah, it would be, huh? Hell, it's about time they noticed me for the greatness I truly am!"
Uh-huh ^_^! Go boy!
Nuriko walks onto the scene arms crossed. Eh, how did you get here?
"I wandered in with the mad fan girl," she said dully looking at Inuyasha's charred body, then back to a nearly drooling Shesshoumaru. "And as to him being the leading man, fuuuuuuuuuuuck no!"
Are you contesting my supreme will? "You could say that, dammit. And you've backed yourself into a corner Evil dear."
Eh? Oooh,. Fuck..damn it all to the seven hells.Arrg, how am I going to get out of this?
Nuriko shrugs. "I don't know. Hey, why is Hiei fromyu-Yu Hakusho here?"
Hiei looks at the druid warrioress. "I have absolutely no fucking idea."
Imp: *jumped up and snatched the key board from Evil and runs away.* My turn! My turn! Evil: *makes a move to take the key board back. But Morality stops her.* Morality: Now, let it have it's turn. There's a loud groan from everyone.
Ok, all of a sudden a fairy appears in the air over Inuyasha and sprinkles dust all over his body, restoring him so that he's alive. Yay! The girls go nuts, pawing all over Inu-chan's body.
"Oh Inuyasha!" the fake Kagome cries.
"Ah! Who the fuck are you?" Inuyasha screamed as he tried to get away.
"Don't you recognize your Kagome?" the girl asked, her eyes filling with tears.
"You're not Kagome." Inuyasha said, only to be met with screams.
"Hey, he's mine bitch!" Kikyo snarled. "Step off whore!"
"Shesshoumaru, help me!" Inuyasha begged his brother, who was standing back laughing.
"You want my help brother?" Shesshoumaru asked lazily.
"Yes! Please Kamisama yes!" Inuyasha begged, struggling to get away from the mad girls.
"We-ell.I don't know."
"Oh, hell in a basket!" Nuriko snapped as she gathered her power and shot the two girls head on. "There!" Then Nuri tackled Inuyasha hugging him fiercely close. "Mine, dammit! Mine all fucking MINE!!!!"
"Feh, gerroff Nuriko," Inuyasha whined.
"Ok, ok," said the girl as she stood up. Then the druid walked over to Hiei. "hey, you know Oracle Shadowweaver, right?"
"Yeah." Hiei said slowly
"Ah, one of her sisters is co-narrator of this weird situation."
"Interesting."
OH, speaking of Oracle, and Kurama for that matter..
"NO!" Nuriko screamed as out of the trees appear the red head Kurama and the blonde Oracle Shadowweaver, complete with her whit kitsune ears. The two looked around, eyes wide and confused.
"Hiei, what's going on?" Kurama asked.
"I have no fucking clue," the little demon said. "but I'm getting a little nervous."
"That can't be good," oracle mutters with a wave to a flustered Nuriko.
Ok, lets get going!
"Ah! What's that?"
"Calm down oracle. That's just Imp."
"We're after a demon that stole the Sikon jewel and is ruining everyone's names," Inuyasha explained as they walked off. Oracle had been closed in by the her two demon companions and they were getting a wee bit touchy feely. Inuyasha looked back at then and then to his brother.
"You know, Shesshoumaru, I have this.."
"Yes, Inuyasha?" Shesshoumaru prompted when Inuyasha stopped.
"I have this strong urge to kiss you right now."
The world stops and everyone looks at Imp, then Evil?
Evil: What? I didn't so anything this time! It has the key board.
"What did you do Imp?" Shesshoumaru demanded.
It wasn't me! Well, little.the guy who restored Inuyasha ya know, he's a wee bit light in the loafers..get what I mean?"
Inuyasha looked blankly at Imp. "So you're saying that because that fairy sprinkled me with dust to bring me back to life now I'm a flaming homosexual?"
Yep! *giggle* We'll make this into a lemon yet! Yaoi!!! *claps.*
"NO! NO! NO!" Inuyasha and Shesshoumaru screamed together.
Oh yes! This is going to be the best lemon ever! Incest is the best, getting' sweet between the sheets, packing the fudge! Great!
"I think I'm gonna be sick." Orcale moaned, almost falling as Kurama and Hiei caught her, pulling her slender body close to theirs. Oracle looked up at them with surprise. Are you happy, Oracle? Or just shocked?
"What the hell did you do?" she asked, blue eyes wide as the two demons embraced her from wither side. I am granting your biggest fantasy with an added bonus. After all, I want a lemon, and you're not going to object to a threesome, eh?
"Oh, hell yes!!" Oracle screamed as Hiei kissed her neck and Kurama began unbuttoning her blouse. "Imp, I love you; you're a sick little fuck, but I love you!" her rose petal lips released a moan as Kurama nuzzled the hollow of her neck and as Hiei tenderly lipped her shoulders. The little demon then unhooked her bra and Kurmam helped slip it off, hands sliding down over her voluptuous curves.
"Oh, Gods above and below!" Nuriko shouted, throwing her hands up in the air. "Go behind a goddamned tree..Ah! Kurama, don't undo her pants right in front of Inuyasha and Shesshoumaru! Imp, do something!"
Why? Maybe there will be a foursome with some hot yaoi action..and if you join in-
"Go get bit!" Nuriko fumed as she turned the gaping dog demon brothers around to give the moaning Oracle some pivacy.
"Hey, he is a half dog demon thank you," Shesshoumaru pointed out. Yes, and in a few minutes you two will be having hot monkey sex.
"No!" Inuyasha ried, turning a shade of green and getting on his knees next to his brother. "Don't do this! Please." Dog boy trails off as he becomes a little too preoccupied with his brother's pants.
"Ah! Sick freak!" Shesshoumaru jumped away from his gagging brother.
"Daaaammmn yoooouuu biiiitcch!" He moaned. I am not a bitch. I'm not a butch either. I'm an It.
Brahmani: *Jumps on Imp, taking the key board from it, hitting it over the head, stuffing it in a barrel and then sitting on top of the barrel.* ok Goddess dammit, I am going to try and undo this heinous mess Imp made. My gods, what the hell..*Brahmani spaces out at the sight of her sister Oracle in the arms of the two demons.the two very muscular demons that are oh-so- very well hung.*
Ok, Nuriko, give Inuyasha The Kiss.
"The Kiss?" Inuyasha and Shesshoumaru echoed. My, my they are slow. Yes, The Kiss.
Nuriko walks with cat like grace up to Inuyasha, puts her arms around his neck and tangling her fingers in his silken hair. The hanyou is dumbfounded as his amber optics stare into catlike orbs. Slowly, painstakingly slowly, Nuri moves her lips to Inuyasha's and gives him a soft kiss, pulls away, and then pushes her mouth right over dog-boy's. Demonic eyes pop as Nuriko's tongue toys with his, pushing it further back and rubbing seductively as she flattens her body to his..I don't think they'll ever some up for air.And all the while Shesshie-chan pouts off to the side, not getting any action and trying in vain to keep his eyes away from the moaning and groaning mini orgy off to the side.
Nuriko pulls back, her eyes flashing as she crosses her arms. "Well?" "...." Inuyasha can say nothing. Ok, let's move on. The demon, Inuyahsa, Shesshoumaru.?
"Oh, that's right!" The brothers say in unison as they look into the cave. But the demon isn't there.
"What do you mean it isn't there?!" Inuyasha explodes. I guess it ran off while everything else was going on. You just couldn't learn to leave your brother alone, could you?
"Dammit!" Inuyasha glares at his brother. "It's all your fault." A loud moan startles Inuyasha, but when he looks again Shesshoumaru isn't there..A sound draws the fuming demons attention, and Inuyasha is faced with the absolute horror of the commercialist monstrosity that is fouling our happy little Feudal Era!
Don't forget to come back and see what happens in the next chapter.Will Inuyasha survive unscathed? Will Oracle orgasm? Will her demon playmates orgasm? Did Nuiko's kiss work, or will this end up a yaoi after all? And who in the bloody hell will get the key board next? All this and more next time on the Voices Funny Fic!
"You call this funny..?"
Inuyasha and Shesshoumaru were hiding behind the brush right out side the vile demon's cave. Now, they just had to decide what to do next.
"Um, perhaps you should go in, brother. After all, you do have the sword fashioned out of our father's fang, the sword that can destroy 100 demons in one blow. This is better for you to do."
"Nani?" Inuyasha blinked. Shesshoumaru was fidgeting very badly.
"Well.it's just that I have more to risk here than you do, brother. You see, you could end up 'Inyasha', and that doesn't sound too terribly bad. But come one, 'Shesshomar'? That is horrendous!"
Inuyasha snickered. "Oooh, I see. Little Shesshie-chan is afwaid of the big bad demon, isn't he??"
"Oh stop it, you little half ling whelp!" Shesshoumaru snapped, vanity and ego severely injured. Aawww.
"What? I'll give you half ling whelp!" Inuyasha landed a punch, and then another. But you'd think he would learn by now. No HURT SHESSHIE!!! Hiei- chan!!
Suddenly the fierce little demon pops out of thin air, sending a dragon at Inuyasha. The dragon throws a fireball and char Inuyasha to a crisp.
Hiei looks around confused. 'Where the bloody hell am I?" he asks a shaked Shesshoumaru.
"I have no clue, but don't say ANYTHING to the narrator!" Shesshoumaru warned, stepping over to his brother. " I think he's dead."
Suddenly, out of the bushes a girl dressed as Kagome appears. "Oh, Inuyasha! Nooooo!" She wails. Kikyo fallows her, both falling to their knees and sobbing.
"Oh, no Inuyasha! Come back! It's Kagome, you know me! Please be alive." The imposter wailed.
"You're not Kagome." Shesshoumaru said.
"Yes I am!" The girl cried. Kagome's school uniform was way too small in the top and Shesshoumaru was taking full advantage of the view, but the undead miko's wails and the imitation Kagome's screaming was getting on his nerves.
Ok girls, shut up already cause you're annoying the hell out of me too. So please shut up and stop crying. I'm sure Inuyasha will be alright tomorrow morning ^_^"!
'Kagome' grabbed Inuyasha's hand and squealed when it crumbled into ash. Shesshoumaru poked Inuyasha's chest and the entire torso crumbled.
"He'll be alright tomorrow, huh?" He asked snidely. Hey, behave now, alright? I didn't mean for that to happen.
Hiei looks back and forth. "What the hell is going on here?" he asked. Oh, shut up!
"Hey, control your temper evil dear!" Shesshoumaru quipped, if he was intelligent enough to understand what actual quipping involved. "hey bitch!" Ok, that's it!
A huge tree branch falls down on top of Shesshoumaru. He struggles to get out of it, barley standing. Behave now, so that we can get on with it. After all, you get to be the main man! The hero!
"Yeah," Shesshoumaru stood a little straighter. "What a leading man I'd make."
Yes you would! A handsome leading man that would get all the ladies! Wouldn't that be something?
"Yeah, it would be, huh? Hell, it's about time they noticed me for the greatness I truly am!"
Uh-huh ^_^! Go boy!
Nuriko walks onto the scene arms crossed. Eh, how did you get here?
"I wandered in with the mad fan girl," she said dully looking at Inuyasha's charred body, then back to a nearly drooling Shesshoumaru. "And as to him being the leading man, fuuuuuuuuuuuck no!"
Are you contesting my supreme will? "You could say that, dammit. And you've backed yourself into a corner Evil dear."
Eh? Oooh,. Fuck..damn it all to the seven hells.Arrg, how am I going to get out of this?
Nuriko shrugs. "I don't know. Hey, why is Hiei fromyu-Yu Hakusho here?"
Hiei looks at the druid warrioress. "I have absolutely no fucking idea."
Imp: *jumped up and snatched the key board from Evil and runs away.* My turn! My turn! Evil: *makes a move to take the key board back. But Morality stops her.* Morality: Now, let it have it's turn. There's a loud groan from everyone.
Ok, all of a sudden a fairy appears in the air over Inuyasha and sprinkles dust all over his body, restoring him so that he's alive. Yay! The girls go nuts, pawing all over Inu-chan's body.
"Oh Inuyasha!" the fake Kagome cries.
"Ah! Who the fuck are you?" Inuyasha screamed as he tried to get away.
"Don't you recognize your Kagome?" the girl asked, her eyes filling with tears.
"You're not Kagome." Inuyasha said, only to be met with screams.
"Hey, he's mine bitch!" Kikyo snarled. "Step off whore!"
"Shesshoumaru, help me!" Inuyasha begged his brother, who was standing back laughing.
"You want my help brother?" Shesshoumaru asked lazily.
"Yes! Please Kamisama yes!" Inuyasha begged, struggling to get away from the mad girls.
"We-ell.I don't know."
"Oh, hell in a basket!" Nuriko snapped as she gathered her power and shot the two girls head on. "There!" Then Nuri tackled Inuyasha hugging him fiercely close. "Mine, dammit! Mine all fucking MINE!!!!"
"Feh, gerroff Nuriko," Inuyasha whined.
"Ok, ok," said the girl as she stood up. Then the druid walked over to Hiei. "hey, you know Oracle Shadowweaver, right?"
"Yeah." Hiei said slowly
"Ah, one of her sisters is co-narrator of this weird situation."
"Interesting."
OH, speaking of Oracle, and Kurama for that matter..
"NO!" Nuriko screamed as out of the trees appear the red head Kurama and the blonde Oracle Shadowweaver, complete with her whit kitsune ears. The two looked around, eyes wide and confused.
"Hiei, what's going on?" Kurama asked.
"I have no fucking clue," the little demon said. "but I'm getting a little nervous."
"That can't be good," oracle mutters with a wave to a flustered Nuriko.
Ok, lets get going!
"Ah! What's that?"
"Calm down oracle. That's just Imp."
"We're after a demon that stole the Sikon jewel and is ruining everyone's names," Inuyasha explained as they walked off. Oracle had been closed in by the her two demon companions and they were getting a wee bit touchy feely. Inuyasha looked back at then and then to his brother.
"You know, Shesshoumaru, I have this.."
"Yes, Inuyasha?" Shesshoumaru prompted when Inuyasha stopped.
"I have this strong urge to kiss you right now."
The world stops and everyone looks at Imp, then Evil?
Evil: What? I didn't so anything this time! It has the key board.
"What did you do Imp?" Shesshoumaru demanded.
It wasn't me! Well, little.the guy who restored Inuyasha ya know, he's a wee bit light in the loafers..get what I mean?"
Inuyasha looked blankly at Imp. "So you're saying that because that fairy sprinkled me with dust to bring me back to life now I'm a flaming homosexual?"
Yep! *giggle* We'll make this into a lemon yet! Yaoi!!! *claps.*
"NO! NO! NO!" Inuyasha and Shesshoumaru screamed together.
Oh yes! This is going to be the best lemon ever! Incest is the best, getting' sweet between the sheets, packing the fudge! Great!
"I think I'm gonna be sick." Orcale moaned, almost falling as Kurama and Hiei caught her, pulling her slender body close to theirs. Oracle looked up at them with surprise. Are you happy, Oracle? Or just shocked?
"What the hell did you do?" she asked, blue eyes wide as the two demons embraced her from wither side. I am granting your biggest fantasy with an added bonus. After all, I want a lemon, and you're not going to object to a threesome, eh?
"Oh, hell yes!!" Oracle screamed as Hiei kissed her neck and Kurama began unbuttoning her blouse. "Imp, I love you; you're a sick little fuck, but I love you!" her rose petal lips released a moan as Kurama nuzzled the hollow of her neck and as Hiei tenderly lipped her shoulders. The little demon then unhooked her bra and Kurmam helped slip it off, hands sliding down over her voluptuous curves.
"Oh, Gods above and below!" Nuriko shouted, throwing her hands up in the air. "Go behind a goddamned tree..Ah! Kurama, don't undo her pants right in front of Inuyasha and Shesshoumaru! Imp, do something!"
Why? Maybe there will be a foursome with some hot yaoi action..and if you join in-
"Go get bit!" Nuriko fumed as she turned the gaping dog demon brothers around to give the moaning Oracle some pivacy.
"Hey, he is a half dog demon thank you," Shesshoumaru pointed out. Yes, and in a few minutes you two will be having hot monkey sex.
"No!" Inuyasha ried, turning a shade of green and getting on his knees next to his brother. "Don't do this! Please." Dog boy trails off as he becomes a little too preoccupied with his brother's pants.
"Ah! Sick freak!" Shesshoumaru jumped away from his gagging brother.
"Daaaammmn yoooouuu biiiitcch!" He moaned. I am not a bitch. I'm not a butch either. I'm an It.
Brahmani: *Jumps on Imp, taking the key board from it, hitting it over the head, stuffing it in a barrel and then sitting on top of the barrel.* ok Goddess dammit, I am going to try and undo this heinous mess Imp made. My gods, what the hell..*Brahmani spaces out at the sight of her sister Oracle in the arms of the two demons.the two very muscular demons that are oh-so- very well hung.*
Ok, Nuriko, give Inuyasha The Kiss.
"The Kiss?" Inuyasha and Shesshoumaru echoed. My, my they are slow. Yes, The Kiss.
Nuriko walks with cat like grace up to Inuyasha, puts her arms around his neck and tangling her fingers in his silken hair. The hanyou is dumbfounded as his amber optics stare into catlike orbs. Slowly, painstakingly slowly, Nuri moves her lips to Inuyasha's and gives him a soft kiss, pulls away, and then pushes her mouth right over dog-boy's. Demonic eyes pop as Nuriko's tongue toys with his, pushing it further back and rubbing seductively as she flattens her body to his..I don't think they'll ever some up for air.And all the while Shesshie-chan pouts off to the side, not getting any action and trying in vain to keep his eyes away from the moaning and groaning mini orgy off to the side.
Nuriko pulls back, her eyes flashing as she crosses her arms. "Well?" "...." Inuyasha can say nothing. Ok, let's move on. The demon, Inuyahsa, Shesshoumaru.?
"Oh, that's right!" The brothers say in unison as they look into the cave. But the demon isn't there.
"What do you mean it isn't there?!" Inuyasha explodes. I guess it ran off while everything else was going on. You just couldn't learn to leave your brother alone, could you?
"Dammit!" Inuyasha glares at his brother. "It's all your fault." A loud moan startles Inuyasha, but when he looks again Shesshoumaru isn't there..A sound draws the fuming demons attention, and Inuyasha is faced with the absolute horror of the commercialist monstrosity that is fouling our happy little Feudal Era!
Don't forget to come back and see what happens in the next chapter.Will Inuyasha survive unscathed? Will Oracle orgasm? Will her demon playmates orgasm? Did Nuiko's kiss work, or will this end up a yaoi after all? And who in the bloody hell will get the key board next? All this and more next time on the Voices Funny Fic!
"You call this funny..?"