Standard disclaimers apply. I do not and never shall own HYD. I'm just a strugglin college student who writes to relieve herself of stress and at this point in my life, I've got plenty of it. ^_^
Note: There are some spoilers in here. If you haven't read the latest manga, this will spoil it for you. You have been warned. ^_^
Ch. 4-Memories
Weeks had passed and the Nagane children were adjusting to Eitouku nicely. Ken didn't let that incident between Mariko and Kesshin slide by though. He chose to ignore his father's warning and approached Kesshin the next day. The two boys got into a tiny scuffle during lunch, but were pulled apart by Aki, Shinji and Ryu. Kesshin and Ken eventually smoothed things over and were able to tolerate each other's company. Ken couldn't fully blame Kesshin, because his sister never keeps her cool. Mariko's got a temper and a mind of her own that just can't be controlled.
Other than that incident, everyday was the same. Mariko and Kesshin did their best to avoid each other, but managed to trade snide remarks every once in a while. It was hard at lunch, considering they all sat together. The others would just tease the two, making Mariko and Kesshin even more annoyed.
"Oi Kesshin! She doesn't bite ya know, unless you want her to." Shinji joked and smiled mischievously. He didn't find it too funny though when both Kesshin and Mariko punched him in the face and sent Shinji flying back against the bushes. Ryu couldn't help but laugh, because it was the funniest thing he'd seen all week. Shinji had teased them everyday and wished Mariko or Kesshin would do something about it. Mariko and Kesshin looked back at each other and burst into laughter, laughing so hard that tears began to well up in their eyes. Aya, Ken and Aki looked up from their conversation to see Shinji attempting to stand up, and their other three friends laughing hysterically.
"Now will you two kiss and make up?" Ryu asked.
"Ryu-kun…" Mariko said sweetly. "Do you want to end up like Shinji-kun over there?" Ryu gulped and shook his head vigorously. "That's what I thought." Mariko said, turning back to her lunch.
Kesshin faced Mariko "I guess you're not all that bad, but I'm still not apologizing for your mistake. Just watch where you're going next time." Mariko was about to fume again, but maintained her composure, hearing her mom and dad yelling inside her head.
"UGH! YOU ARE SO STUPID!" Mariko stood and left with Aya.
"Ken, what's wrong with your sister?" Kesshin asked as Mariko stormed off with Aya following behind her.
.
"I think she likes you." Kesshin froze.
'She likes me?' he thought 'But then again, who wouldn't. I am the great Doumyoji Kesshin.' Kesshin smirked and ended up saying, "I hope not."
"Why not Kesshin? Man, Mariko's hot. Hell if you don't want her, I'll take her." Aki said.
"Can you guys quit talking about my sister like that? That's sick." Ken gagged.
It was the weekend now and Mariko could finally rest. The house was so quiet as Hiro and Ken went on a fishing trip for the weekend. Mariko figured this would be the best time to ask her mother about Tsukasa.
Tsuskushi was in her room when she heard a knock at the door.
"Okaa-san?"
"Come in Mariko-chan." Tsukushi answered her daughter's call. Mariko entered and sat next to her mom on the bed.
"Can I ask you about Doumyoji-san now?" Tsukushi gasped, but knew this conversation would come up eventually.
Tsukushi sighed and nodded, ready to reveal her deepest secrets. "It all started when I first entered Eitouku High. I avoided the limelight of the school. I didn't want to be noticed by anyone, but things didn't go as I planned…" Mariko listened intently as her mother told her the story of her life before she came to America. Tsukushi told Mariko about her first encounter with the F4 and the arrogant Doumyoji Tsukasa.
"I stood up to him and from that day, hell started for me. I was red-tagged by the F4 and when your Uncle Kazuya came along, he was tagged as well, just because we were friends. Then that boy had the audacity to dress me up and tell me I should be honored that he was even talking to me!"
"Sounds like Kesshin-kun" Mariko spoke outloud. "Like father like son I guess."
"He seemed like such a nice man when I met him kaa-san." Mariko interrupted. Tsukushi just laughed. If her daughter only knew. She continued to tell Mariko about her love for Hanazawa Rui, and how his heart still belonged to Shizuka.
"You were in love with Uncle Rui too???" Mariko stared at her mom with wide eyes shocked at what she was hearing. Tsukushi just looked at her. "Okay okay..I'll be quiet…" Mariko said.
Tsukushi then talked about Doumyoji and the witch from hell, Kaede. Mariko laughed at what Tsukushi referred to Doumyoji Kaede as. That was Mariko's first impression of Kaede, but out of respect for the woman, she said nothing. Tsukushi told Mariko of the many times Tsukasa saved her do many times. She had no idea why he always came for her, saving her. 'Geez, she's slow' Mariko thought of her mom.
"One day he rescued me from these jerks who thought it would be funny to tie me to a car and drag me around in circles. Doumyoji came and carried me back to his house and bandaged my wounds. That night, he told me loved me." Tsukushi paused reminiscing on that moment, in his bedroom, on his bed.
"I was shocked at what he said. I didn't want to believe it, because why would some guy who could have any woman in the world, want me. Then he cupped my face and brought his lips to mine. At that moment, I wanted to break away, but at the same time, I didn't want it to end. I felt like I didn't belong anywhere else but there with him." Tsukushi still held those memories deep in her heart.
"Did you tell him you loved him??"
"No…not that night…" Tsukushi smiled. "One night there was a gathering at your Uncle Soujiro's house. After drinking a bit, I mustered up the courage to tell him I loved him, and I did it in front of everyone. I remember staring into his eyes as he walked towards me, never breaking eye contact, and then pulling me into his embrace."
"Awwe…That's so sweet!!!!" Mariko couldn't help but grin broadly at her mother's story. It really was the sweetest thing she'd ever heard.
Tsukushi felt so good telling Mariko everything. It had been in her mind and her heart for so many years. Sure, she told Hiro about Tsukasa and the events that led her to leave Japan, but she never told Hiro what she was telling Mariko now. Tsukushi felt that Hiro would not truly understand her when it came to Tsukasa. Hiro just thought of him as a jerk for forgetting someone so wonderful as Tsukushi, but then sometimes, he'd like to thank Tsukasa, because if he hadn't forgotten, Hiro would never have met Tsukushi. Mariko gave her mom a weird look as Tsukushi hugged her daughter without saying a word. 'Thank you' thought Tsukushi in that moment.
So the story continued and Tsukushi told Mariko about the events that led her to leave. Tsukasa had come back from New York against his mother's wishes. While Tsukushi and he were in a guest house, SP's located them, abducted the two, and shipped them off on a mysterious yacht. When the boat stopped, they were on an island. After searching the island, they ran into Shigeru, Rui, Akira, and Soujiro. It had been their plan all along, to find a way for them to be alone without any disruptions.
Tsukushi's face changed just then, because of what happened next. When they returned to the city, a man had stabbed Tsukasa, and he was hospitalized. Tsukushi recalled her days in the hospital waiting by Tsukasa and how when he awoke, Tsukasa remembered nothing of Tsukushi. Mariko felt her mother's sadness. It was clearly shown on her face. Tsukushi not only lost the man she loved, but she lost her friend. Mariko held her mother's hand as she continued to talk about Tsukasa's amnesia and Kaede's proposal of being dead for a year. For a year, Tsukushi tried everything to bring him back to her, but she couldn't do it. She visited him everyday at the hospital and at home, till he finally told her that she was a nuisance and should leave him alone. In the end, she felt the best thing to do was leave, and so she did.
Mariko stared at her mother, who was now crying before her. These pent up emotions were now visible as tears upon tears flowed down her face. Mariko could think of nothing else but to hold her mother as she cried for the first time in years over Doumyoji Tsukasa.
"It's okay now okaa-san." Mariko swore and smiled at her mom as she looked up to face her daughter. 'Now I understand why she never wanted to return.'
"Otou-san?" Kesshin asked as he peeked into his father's office hoping to speak with him for a little bit.
"Yes Kesshin" Answered the man sitting down at his desk, looking up to see his son entering.
"Can I ask you something?" Tsukasa nodded. "How come we never went to visit Nagane-sama and her family whenever we went to America?"
"Why do you ask?" Tsukasa eyed his son, startled that he asked such a question.
"Well, Ryu, Aki, n Shinji knew Mariko-chan from before. They visit the Nagane's every couple of years, so they've known each other since they were kids." Kesshin paused "And you seem like you knew Nagane-sama pretty well, so I was just wondering why we never visited?" Kesshin shut his eyes, hoping he hadn't pried too much into his father's life.
"Nagane-sama is just some girl I knew back in high school. We had all been friends, but we lost touch with each other and so that's why we never went to visit her family." Tsukasa's heart ached at those words. Makino Tsukushi wasn't just 'some girl.' She was 'THE girl.' The only one he ever truly gave his heart to, but she would never know that. Some secrets were best left untold.
"Anything else Kesshin?" Kesshin shook his head and excused himself. "No, that's all. I was just curious. Good night Otou-san." Kesshin knew there was more to this than his father was telling. Tsukasa and his son were very close and he could sense there was something his father wasn't telling him, but he didn't want to question him any further.
As Kesshin left the office, Tsukasa' thoughts drifted to the past.
"Tsukasa…" Rui stopped him on the street one day. "You have to read this."
"What is that?" Tsukasa replied dryly.
"Just read it."
"I don't want to."
"Dammit Tsukasa, quit being so stubborn and listen to me. You have to read this even if it means nothing to you."
In Rui's presence, Tsukasa read that letter and it was forever etched in his mind. That day, Doumyoji Tsukasa remembered her. The one woman who meant everything to him.
Tsukasa snapped back to reality and quickly got up.
"Hikaru-chan, please tell my wife that I have some unfinished business to take care of and that she need not wait up for me." The young maid nodded and bowed as her master left the house.
'I have to see her'
-Knock-knock-
"Nagane-sama?" Hana-chan called through the doors. Moments later, Tsukushi opened her bedroom door and smiled at the young woman.
"Yes Hana-chan?"
"I'm sorry to bother you so late in the evening, but there is a man waiting for you in the living room. He was very persistent and insisted on seeing you right at this very moment. I tried to tell him that it was late, but he pushed through. I'm sorry Nagane-sama." Hana-chan had said it all in one breath.
"Who is this man?"
"He wouldn't say. He just said that it was of great importance to see you."
"Thank you. I'll take care of this little problem." Tsukushi stormed out of her room. She was furious at this man who chose to stop by at such a late hour. 'How dare he come barging in here like that demanding to see me.'
Tsuskushi made it downstairs and threw the large cherry oak wood doors open.
"You have some nerve coming around here this late at night. Who do you think you are anyway?!" She yelled as she entered the room. The man standing was facing away from her, staring at the pictures on the wall. He turned around to meet the eyes of the enraged woman. Tsukushi stood there with her hands on her hips, waiting for an explanation.
"Doumyoji?!?!" She was more than a bit surprised to see this man standing before her. "What are you doing here?"
He smiled, amused that her temper still flared so easily. Tsukasa walked over to her. "Fiesty as ever, aren't you?"
Tsukushi looked up to face him and when they're eyes met, her anger subsided. She sighed and said, "Have a seat Doumyoji."
"Mak…I mean, Nagane, I have something I need to tell you." Tsukasa reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper and handed it to Tsukushi. She had a confused look on her face as she took the piece of paper and unfolded it. Her eyes skimmed what was written and realized it was the letter she had asked Rui at the airport to give Tsukasa.
"You still have this? But, why are you giving it to me now?" Tsukushi was still confused, as Tsukasa had not yet said a word.
"I have a story to tell you and I'm sorry it's late and I apologize for arriving without calling first, but please listen to it." Tsukasa looked at her with the most sincere eyes. 'He still has the most beautiful eyes.'
"You left for America and we were on good terms. You remember that right?" 'How could I forget?' she thought as he spoke. "Well, about two months before your wedding, Rui and I were walking and he handed me that piece of paper. He insisted that I read it…."
"You have to read this even if it means nothing to you."
Tsukasa grabbed the piece of paper from Rui's hands and read the letter.
Dear Doumyoji,
I don't know where to begin and I know you don't have much patience, so I should just get to the point. This letter may mean nothing to you, because at this moment, you think I'm the most annoying person in the world, but I can't leave without telling you everything.
I failed you. I failed US. I couldn't bring you back to me. That day you were stabbed and brought to the hospital, your mother came. We had an argument and I said some things that I now regret, but she told me that you and I could pretend she was dead for a year. It was great news, but then you had amnesia and had no idea who I was. I tried everything. You have to believe me when I say I tried. With the help of everyone, I did things to help jog your memory, but none of it worked. Every attempt I made, you ended up hating me even more. I am so sorry, Doumyoji. Please forgive me.
It's for the best that I leave. You don't need me anymore. I know that I've always been so strong when it came to us, but I'm so tired. It's been hard on me, both physically and emotionally. My heart is broken and I must go and try to salvage what's left of it. Please understand that I have no other choice. I must move on and I know you will too. It hurts so much when I think that I will no longer feel your warm arms wrapped around me. No longer will I taste your sweet and gentle lips. I won't hear your voice or look into those eyes of yours that showed so much love for someone like me.
Tsukasa's heart sank. 'Why do I care about this annoying girl?' Subconsciously, his eyes began to water. She left so long ago, but even now, deep inside he was missing her.
Before I go, I will leave you with some memories of us. Remember the red tag. It's how we met. I stood up to you because you picked on my friend, and the next day you red tagged me. Remember when you first told me you loved me. We were sitting on your bed and you had just finished patching up my cuts.
A vision popped into Tsukasa's head. A girl sitting on his bed and she was hurt.
You told me you loved me and you kissed me. Not our first kiss of course, because you stole that one from me on your boat.
A girl descending the stairs of his yacht, looking absolutely beautiful. A stunning pink dress and wavy brown hair. He closed his eyes to see it more clearly. 'The lights went off and someone kissed me.'
Remember when you saved me at your lodge in Canada? It was so cold, and I got lost in the snow. You found me and carried me to a lodge.
The girl who sat on his bed was now in his arms. 'She was so cold that night. I thought she was dead' thought Tsukasa. He remembered the warmth he felt within him when he held her that night. The blush that crept over his cheeks.
If none of that made you remember Doumyoji, I hope you remember when I first told you I loved you. We were at
'Soujiro's.' Tsukasa saw her coming from a room, somewhat tipsy. 'She…it's that girl' The vision was still not clear in his head, but he was trying his best to make out a face.
I walked out of that room and declared my love for you in front of everyone. I told you I loved you. I meant it, and I still do mean it. I love you Doumyoji Tsukasa.
'MAKINO! Oh my god. What have I done?!' Tsukasa was yelling at himself inside. He was barely standing as he continued to read the letter. She spoke of other memories and he remembered them clearly. How hurt she was when she went to New York to bring him back and he turned her away. She waited for him. She always had.
Once, you told me that you would follow me into hell, that you would jump into my world if I couldn't jump into yours. I still believe in you and I always will. I'll never forget you Doumyoji Tsukasa. I don't know what else to say. This is hard enough, knowing that I won't be seeing you again. It's for the best though. Whether or not you ever remember me, Doumyoji, always know that I love you. You will always hold a place in my heart. We will both grow up and go our separate ways. I know that I'll never find someone like you. I want you to be happy Doumyoji. That's all I wish for, your happiness. Thank you for the love you have given me. I will treasure it always. Good-bye my love.
Love,
Makino Tsukushi
Tsukasa's legs went weak and he nearly collapsed. Luckily, Rui was there to hold him up.
"Oi Tsukasa! Are you okay?? What's wrong?" Rui asked his friend.
"How could I have forgotten her? Why didn't any of you make me remember? What have I done?" Doumyoji asked question after question. Rui just stared at him, unsure of what to do. Tsukasa was near tears, but mainly he was angry at himself for being so stupid.
"You remember?" Rui's eyes grew large as he realized that Tsukasa had his memory of Tsukushi back.
"Where is she now Rui?"
"She's still in America."
"I have to get her back." Tsukasa turned to leave, but Rui pulled him back. "You can't Tsukasa."
"What?! Why not?! I need to get back to her. Let me go Rui."
"You have a wife now."
"It doesn't matter! I have to go to her."
"Could you stand to see Ayumi cry? Could you? Don't tell me you don't love that woman Tsukasa. She's the ONLY woman you've felt anything for since Tsukushi. You can't go barging into Tsukushi's life out of nowhere and leave the woman you love now."
Rui was right. Tsukasa was in love with Ayumi. She was tough, yet so kind and generous. She cared for him deeply and they matched each other perfectly. Tsukasa couldn't just leave Ayumi. He truly did love her. Though she had the money and the name, she was so modest about it all. Ayumi could lose her entire fortune, but be completely happy because she had Tsukasa, and he felt the same about her.
Tsukasa had lost Tsukushi completely now. Too much time had past since they had last spoke. It killed him inside and he never forgave himself for causing her so much pain, for breaking her heart, and most importantly, for forgetting. He couldn't bear to see Tsukushi marry another man, so he declined the wedding invitation. Tsukasa couldn't bear to see that she was in love with another.
When Tsukasa had calmed down, he went home and spoke to Ayumi. Tsukasa told Ayumi he remembered Makino Tsukushi. She was startled and afraid at first. Tsukaksa let her read the letter. Tsukasa looked like a total mess that evening, but after reading the letter, Ayumi held her husband and let him cry. She let him tell her all the things he remembered about Tsukushi, all the things he regretted, and how sorry he was. Ayumi felt his sorrow and his pain, and couldn't help being hurt as well. Tsukushi was the one woman Ayumi felt she could never live up to.
Tsukasa finished his story and looked over to Tsukushi, who had remained quiet the whole time, listening intently at what Tsukasa had to say.
"Doumyoji…." Tsuskushi threw her arms around Tsukasa and cried. 'Twice in one day. I must really be getting weak' she thought as she held him. Tsukasa returned the embrace and they remained in each other's arms for what seems like forever.
"Tsukushi…I am sorry. I don't know how I can ever make it up to you. I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to visit you and your family in Boston, but I never had the courage to. I was always scared."
"For once, the great Doumyoji Tsukasa was afraid." Tsukushi smirked.
"Baka…" He said as he wiped the tears from her eyes.
"When I saw your daughter at Eitouku, I thought I was looking at you. Then you walked in and I couldn't believe it was you. You were there in front of me. I always imagined how it would be like if we ever saw you again and there you were. I just wanted to hold you then and tell you how sorry I was."
"It's okay Doumyoji, I understand. All this time, I thought you never remembered."
"I asked the others to keep it a secret from you. I didn't want to interfere in your new life anymore, knowing how badly I destroyed it in the first place."
Tsukushi frowned, but then smiled up at him. "Friends?" She held her arms out to him once more.
"I forgive you." Tsukasa stated. Tsukushi's eyes widened in annoyance and her arms dropped to her side.
"YOU FORGIVE ME????" Tsukasa burst out into laughter as Tsukushi attempted to hit him for the wisecrack. As she approached him, Tsukasa grabbed her and wrapped his arms around her once more.
"I love you." He whispered it so softly into her hair, but she had heard him. Tsukushi pulled back.
"Dou-" Tsukushi was cut off as Tsukasa place a finger on her lips.
"I just needed you to know that. I didn't get to tell you then and I'm not going to pass up this chance to tell you now." He smiled sadly.
"Kaa-san? Is Tou-san home now?" Mariko had opened the door. She saw her mother sitting next to a man on the couch. Mariko had just woken up and she was half asleep still, but she knew it definitely was not her father sitting there.