Chapter Six: Oink..
"I wish I could smell," Inu-yasha was complaining to the trees. "Then I could start sniffing, find that stupid demon and get this whole fucking story over with." Apparently, Inu-yasha was not impressed by the story. I wonder if I should put the fear of the pen in him.
"No need for that, heh heh heh ^_^::" Inu-yasha said with a hasty smile and wave as he nervously sweatdropped.
Just making sure.
"AAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGG!!"
It was yet another scream to follow it's predecessors, which generally always heralded the arrival of trouble and the demon, which is just a statement of pure common sen-
"WILL YOU SHUT UP ALREADY?!! Damn it, you and those other chicks always having to annoy the hell out of me.." Inu-yasha mumbled.
Tell me, Inu-yasha, was it my stating the obvious for our not so bright readers and cast members-including yourself- benefit, or was it because you couldn't understand a word I was saying?
"Leave me alone!" Inu-yasha roared.
Touchy. Here, just imagine yourself as the hero, once again, having saved everyone from the horrible demon; imagine the look on Shessho's face when you restore his 'u', and you all can celebrate with yaoi, or just a huge orgy. Even Nuriko would join in, and Kagome..
Inu-yasha paused and slumped up against a tree, images filling his mind and a pleasant smile forming on his lips. He was imagining the look on pretty Shessho-Maru's face when he was restored to Shesshoumaru and they shared all the pent up affection that they had been hungering to let loose.. Well, that Inu-yasha had been hungering to let lose at least. It must be admitted that the affection in this department was a tad bit one sided, but hell that wouldn't stop our favorite half dog demon, now would it?
Inuyasha's skin was flaring up with the graphic way he pictured all of these things, and he was starting to sweat and flush, and he's not denying any of these things so he MUST be pretty preoccupied..as long as his hands stay away from his..ok, plan B!
Suddenly, a chill wind swept through the trees, clouds gathered, and it began to snow like it had never snowed before.
Inu-yasha was snapped out of his dreaming by the cold air and frozen water and he shot a glare at Insanity.
"It's the middle of fucking summer, retard. It can't snow."
Well, since this fic is anything but serious, I say it can snow in the middle of summer. Besides, the snow will help the plot later on.
"What plot? Oh, you mean the thing hanging by a shred that is barely holding this story together? That plot?" Why yes, Inu-yasha. How perceptive of you. Move along-you don't want to freeze to death, and you must make it to the river before the snow starts to melt.
"Feh," Inu-yasha commented as he kept moving. The good news about the sudden blizzard was that his allergies seemed to miraculously clear up, but the snow was covering the beastie's scent and until it did melt the dog-boy would just have to follow the narrator's lead.
The snow storm lasted for all of a grueling five minutes, leaving Inu-yasha to struggle through slushifying 5 foot snow drifts.
"Daaaaaammmn yoooouuu biiiiiitttcccch!!" he moaned several times. I chose not to dignify him with any kind of response.
When Inu-yasha reached the river, it was fast and flowing and the place around it reeked of the demon he had been hunting. Inu-yasha prepared for battle, claws ready and teeth bared. A vein in Inu-Yasha's head popped as he watched a form emerge from the river. He meant to give the damn thing a proper beating once it came out of the water, but was more than a little surprised to see a little black pig crawl out of the water. A very wet.....very angry little black pig. Blinking at the bedraggled swine, Inu-Yasha suddenly burst out laughing, rolling on the ground and pointing at it. "A....A PIG! Bwahahahahaha!!!!" Suddenly the little porker leapt at Inu-Yasha, his teeth bared and began to beat up the demon viciously. "OUCH!! Stoppit! Stoppit!!" Inu-Yasha swated at the black blur, but was unable to lay a hand on the speedy piggy who was doing a very good job beating the shit out of him. It's strength and size were not proportioned to each other, and scared the hell out of the already scared half demon. "Help me! DAMMIT HELP ME YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT! IT WON'T DO YOU ANY GOOD IF THIS DAMN THING KILLS ME!!!!" Hhhhmmmm, true my dog eared friend. Now Inu-yasha......since you've been properly defeated by this cute little itty bitty piggy, perhaps you should go find the rest of the cast, the ones you have left behind since the beginning. Your beloved brother has already gone after them. You should follow. "Brother Dearest?" Inu-Yasha blinked. "He could be in danger! Oh I must go after him and protect him!" His eyes grew all big and dewy and he clasped his hands together. "And then maybe....maybe he'll be so grateful that he'll....he'll...." Inu-Yasha blushed bright red and closed his eyes, giggling like a school girl. The little pig-demon sweat dropped and looked back and forth between the two. Here now, be a good little piggy-wiggy and ride on Inu-Yasha's head so you can go meet all the other nice people. You might remember seeing some of them from earlier. The little black pig squealed with delight and jumped atop the bruised Inu- yasha's head. Go on now, Inu-chan, and find your friends ^_^! "YES!" Inu-Yasha cried out enthusiastically. "I will go after my brother and I shall restore him!" And you'll have mad gay monkey sex! YES! Incest is BEST!!!! WHOHOO!!! This'll be a lemon yet!!! "YES! IT WILL!!! LET'S GO!" Inu-Yasha eagerly began his search. Soon....soooon..... A little dribble of drool dripped down his lip as he thought of what was to come.... But his joy was slightly dimmed by the pig on his head. "I have to walk around with this little shit on my head?" Inu-yasha complained. "Why can't he walk?" Cause I don't want him to. Now get moving before things get really insane! Look at him Inu-yasha! It's soooo cute! "You're gay, aren't you?" None of ya business. Now isn't it cute Inu-Yasha? "..............-_- Sure." Knowing better than to argue, Inu-Yasha continued on. But now he was walking slowly, a very sour look on his face and an equally sour looking piggy on his head. "This is so fucking humiliating...." Inu-Yasha grumbled under his breath as he continued onward. He just hoped he didn't see anyone he knew.......
Shessho-Maru had just gotten out of the pack of rabid fans girls when the snow hit. He had just had most of his clothing removed so he was very cold, even though he was a demon. With a volley of colorful and unintelligent ranting, Shessho-maru face faulted into the snow. "Bitch! You hate me don't you?" he growled at the narrator. No, darling. I'm just insane. 'Never would have guessed." Shessho-Maru stopped as he realized that he could not get out of the snow and the fan girls were coming his was, screaming.. Our favorite full dog demon felt more pain as the girls ran over his head; they were running away from something, not after him. "Make me feel special." Shessho-Maru muttered. "Hey, what's this?" A gruff voice said as a male demon pulled him up out of the snow. "Uhg, dog demon." he winced. C'mon, we all know who that is! "Kouga?" Shessho-Maru asked in disbelief. "Wrong, dog turd!" Kouga said with a smug look, forgetting that it is Inu- yasha he calls dog turd, not Shessho-Maru. "Hey, my name is Koga now!" he said defensively. "What?" Shessho-Maru gasped. "It got you too?!" Wow, he does have a firm grasp of the obvious. "...." Kouga-ahem, Koga- looked blankly at the narrator then back at Shessho-sama. "Yeah, it did." He replied to Shessho-Maru. Not sounding the least bit upset. "You talk about it as if it's a good thing." Shessho-Maru pointed out. Didn't I just say something about that..? "It isn't?" Koga asked stupidly. "Hey, I don't have to take this shit from you!" Shessho-Maru would have face faulted again hadn't Koga been holding him up. "Don't.screw around.with the narrators..okay?" He asked through clenched teeth. "Whatever," Koga shrugged as he set Shessho-Maru down. "I was sent here to find you, so you had better come with me now or I won't be responsible for what happens to you."
Gods, Shessho-Maru thought as he followed the wolf demon. I would almost rather have stayed with Inu-yasha than follow this loser. Hmmmm..Is Shessho-Maru finally relenting? Will everything be hunky dory? Will Inu-yasha score? All this and more in the next chapter, however far off that may be!
"I wish I could smell," Inu-yasha was complaining to the trees. "Then I could start sniffing, find that stupid demon and get this whole fucking story over with." Apparently, Inu-yasha was not impressed by the story. I wonder if I should put the fear of the pen in him.
"No need for that, heh heh heh ^_^::" Inu-yasha said with a hasty smile and wave as he nervously sweatdropped.
Just making sure.
"AAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGG!!"
It was yet another scream to follow it's predecessors, which generally always heralded the arrival of trouble and the demon, which is just a statement of pure common sen-
"WILL YOU SHUT UP ALREADY?!! Damn it, you and those other chicks always having to annoy the hell out of me.." Inu-yasha mumbled.
Tell me, Inu-yasha, was it my stating the obvious for our not so bright readers and cast members-including yourself- benefit, or was it because you couldn't understand a word I was saying?
"Leave me alone!" Inu-yasha roared.
Touchy. Here, just imagine yourself as the hero, once again, having saved everyone from the horrible demon; imagine the look on Shessho's face when you restore his 'u', and you all can celebrate with yaoi, or just a huge orgy. Even Nuriko would join in, and Kagome..
Inu-yasha paused and slumped up against a tree, images filling his mind and a pleasant smile forming on his lips. He was imagining the look on pretty Shessho-Maru's face when he was restored to Shesshoumaru and they shared all the pent up affection that they had been hungering to let loose.. Well, that Inu-yasha had been hungering to let lose at least. It must be admitted that the affection in this department was a tad bit one sided, but hell that wouldn't stop our favorite half dog demon, now would it?
Inuyasha's skin was flaring up with the graphic way he pictured all of these things, and he was starting to sweat and flush, and he's not denying any of these things so he MUST be pretty preoccupied..as long as his hands stay away from his..ok, plan B!
Suddenly, a chill wind swept through the trees, clouds gathered, and it began to snow like it had never snowed before.
Inu-yasha was snapped out of his dreaming by the cold air and frozen water and he shot a glare at Insanity.
"It's the middle of fucking summer, retard. It can't snow."
Well, since this fic is anything but serious, I say it can snow in the middle of summer. Besides, the snow will help the plot later on.
"What plot? Oh, you mean the thing hanging by a shred that is barely holding this story together? That plot?" Why yes, Inu-yasha. How perceptive of you. Move along-you don't want to freeze to death, and you must make it to the river before the snow starts to melt.
"Feh," Inu-yasha commented as he kept moving. The good news about the sudden blizzard was that his allergies seemed to miraculously clear up, but the snow was covering the beastie's scent and until it did melt the dog-boy would just have to follow the narrator's lead.
The snow storm lasted for all of a grueling five minutes, leaving Inu-yasha to struggle through slushifying 5 foot snow drifts.
"Daaaaaammmn yoooouuu biiiiiitttcccch!!" he moaned several times. I chose not to dignify him with any kind of response.
When Inu-yasha reached the river, it was fast and flowing and the place around it reeked of the demon he had been hunting. Inu-yasha prepared for battle, claws ready and teeth bared. A vein in Inu-Yasha's head popped as he watched a form emerge from the river. He meant to give the damn thing a proper beating once it came out of the water, but was more than a little surprised to see a little black pig crawl out of the water. A very wet.....very angry little black pig. Blinking at the bedraggled swine, Inu-Yasha suddenly burst out laughing, rolling on the ground and pointing at it. "A....A PIG! Bwahahahahaha!!!!" Suddenly the little porker leapt at Inu-Yasha, his teeth bared and began to beat up the demon viciously. "OUCH!! Stoppit! Stoppit!!" Inu-Yasha swated at the black blur, but was unable to lay a hand on the speedy piggy who was doing a very good job beating the shit out of him. It's strength and size were not proportioned to each other, and scared the hell out of the already scared half demon. "Help me! DAMMIT HELP ME YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT! IT WON'T DO YOU ANY GOOD IF THIS DAMN THING KILLS ME!!!!" Hhhhmmmm, true my dog eared friend. Now Inu-yasha......since you've been properly defeated by this cute little itty bitty piggy, perhaps you should go find the rest of the cast, the ones you have left behind since the beginning. Your beloved brother has already gone after them. You should follow. "Brother Dearest?" Inu-Yasha blinked. "He could be in danger! Oh I must go after him and protect him!" His eyes grew all big and dewy and he clasped his hands together. "And then maybe....maybe he'll be so grateful that he'll....he'll...." Inu-Yasha blushed bright red and closed his eyes, giggling like a school girl. The little pig-demon sweat dropped and looked back and forth between the two. Here now, be a good little piggy-wiggy and ride on Inu-Yasha's head so you can go meet all the other nice people. You might remember seeing some of them from earlier. The little black pig squealed with delight and jumped atop the bruised Inu- yasha's head. Go on now, Inu-chan, and find your friends ^_^! "YES!" Inu-Yasha cried out enthusiastically. "I will go after my brother and I shall restore him!" And you'll have mad gay monkey sex! YES! Incest is BEST!!!! WHOHOO!!! This'll be a lemon yet!!! "YES! IT WILL!!! LET'S GO!" Inu-Yasha eagerly began his search. Soon....soooon..... A little dribble of drool dripped down his lip as he thought of what was to come.... But his joy was slightly dimmed by the pig on his head. "I have to walk around with this little shit on my head?" Inu-yasha complained. "Why can't he walk?" Cause I don't want him to. Now get moving before things get really insane! Look at him Inu-yasha! It's soooo cute! "You're gay, aren't you?" None of ya business. Now isn't it cute Inu-Yasha? "..............-_- Sure." Knowing better than to argue, Inu-Yasha continued on. But now he was walking slowly, a very sour look on his face and an equally sour looking piggy on his head. "This is so fucking humiliating...." Inu-Yasha grumbled under his breath as he continued onward. He just hoped he didn't see anyone he knew.......
Shessho-Maru had just gotten out of the pack of rabid fans girls when the snow hit. He had just had most of his clothing removed so he was very cold, even though he was a demon. With a volley of colorful and unintelligent ranting, Shessho-maru face faulted into the snow. "Bitch! You hate me don't you?" he growled at the narrator. No, darling. I'm just insane. 'Never would have guessed." Shessho-Maru stopped as he realized that he could not get out of the snow and the fan girls were coming his was, screaming.. Our favorite full dog demon felt more pain as the girls ran over his head; they were running away from something, not after him. "Make me feel special." Shessho-Maru muttered. "Hey, what's this?" A gruff voice said as a male demon pulled him up out of the snow. "Uhg, dog demon." he winced. C'mon, we all know who that is! "Kouga?" Shessho-Maru asked in disbelief. "Wrong, dog turd!" Kouga said with a smug look, forgetting that it is Inu- yasha he calls dog turd, not Shessho-Maru. "Hey, my name is Koga now!" he said defensively. "What?" Shessho-Maru gasped. "It got you too?!" Wow, he does have a firm grasp of the obvious. "...." Kouga-ahem, Koga- looked blankly at the narrator then back at Shessho-sama. "Yeah, it did." He replied to Shessho-Maru. Not sounding the least bit upset. "You talk about it as if it's a good thing." Shessho-Maru pointed out. Didn't I just say something about that..? "It isn't?" Koga asked stupidly. "Hey, I don't have to take this shit from you!" Shessho-Maru would have face faulted again hadn't Koga been holding him up. "Don't.screw around.with the narrators..okay?" He asked through clenched teeth. "Whatever," Koga shrugged as he set Shessho-Maru down. "I was sent here to find you, so you had better come with me now or I won't be responsible for what happens to you."
Gods, Shessho-Maru thought as he followed the wolf demon. I would almost rather have stayed with Inu-yasha than follow this loser. Hmmmm..Is Shessho-Maru finally relenting? Will everything be hunky dory? Will Inu-yasha score? All this and more in the next chapter, however far off that may be!