Notes: Hours of homework created this insanity. It's supposed to be of Sirius while he's in Azkaban, so that's the reason of his messed up thoughts. And… I do believe it's kind of slashy ^^u. Nothing serious is told, but it is implied, and I'm sure you're gonna make the connection pretty soon.
I hope you like it! I'm sorry for this insanity, it's the homework fault! It's pretty small… but I like it O.o
^^ I always end making Remus suffer… so now is Sirius turn.
Cold.
Cold, cold, cold. Cold that kills, that hurts, that strikes.
I'm so bloody cold. And I hate it.
I blow over my hands, making a vane intent of warming them up, so my numb fingers could feel anything, but it doesn't happens because I'm made of ice, and my breath is that of the wind that enters between de bars of my cell, and I'm pretty sure it probably has some snowflakes.
There's not one thing that can make me forget about this bloody cold that is freezing me.
The worst of all, even more of being locked, is the cold.
The cold, the cold, the cold that breaks my skin as needles, and that bites me and tears me, as everything does around here.
Cold, so, so bloody cold…
Do I know what is to be warm? Have I ever felt the sun on my skin? Was there a time in which there existed something else besides this freezing winter on my skin?
No, I must not remember a thing, because they'll take it away from me. Instead, I'll just concentrate in the fact that is freezing.
If I don't think of that, they'll not come.
It wasn't me, it wasn't me! ¡I want sun, I want music, I want my moon!
Cold, cold… but my moon wasn't cold, no… my moon was warm, soft, and it smelled of honey and chocolate, and it tasted even more sweet, and it let me to caress its hair, I could go to sleep cuddling it, and then the cold couldn't break me, and it didn't exist. It could snow, or the rain could soak my clothes to my body, that if he was besides me, I wouldn't be freezing.
I must not remember a thing!
I walk. Five steps to the right, five to the left. Six to de front, six to the back. I see through the bars, trying to catch a glimpse of anything. There must be something that doesn't freezes me, something that isn't dirty, something that doesn't have the roar of the see, shushing the screams, something that isn't death. Anything… whatever.
Please… just a tiny little glimpse. I won't be happy, I promise. I won't do a thing, I just want to see something else, so for a brief moment I can remember that there exists something else.
Because it wasn't me!! I shouldn't be here!
Give me my moon back!!
No, don't think of that. Don't think of your moon, don't think about it, because it'll only make that they'll come near, and they'll take it away. Do not think of your moon, or on its taste, or in the way your bodies were one, or on its screams as it was brought to the climax that you made for it, and it whispered your name…
I won't think, but it's freezing!
I'm freezing and I do not have my moon so I could sit besides it, it isn't is so I could hug it, and there's nothing else, because they're death, I kill… no, it wasn't me, I didn't do it, the screams that substituted their cheerful laugh weren't created by me, it wasn't me, it wasn't me… the cold, the bloody cold is to much, but I didn't do it, the cold is my punishment for something that I didn't do, I'm innocent, I didn't kill them, it couldn't be me… I didn't do it, right?
No, it wasn't me!! I didn't do it, I didn't do it, it couldn't be me!! I loved them!
…
Fuck… I'm shivering… I'm so cold… I never liked the cold, and I keep on walking because there's nothing more to do, although I know I'm not gonna warm up. I'm a star and he's the moon, but I shone because of him, so now I do not shine, and that's the reason why I'm so cold, because they made me live my moon, and the do not understand that it wasn't me, that it couldn't be me!
Please, someone, anyone, believe me! It wasn't me!
Let me go to my moon!
Do not think, don't think, don't let them take it away as they've taken everything else…
But just for a moment… just for a second I'll think, so I won't freeze… just so I can remember the warm that once existed, and how its hug could elevate me until I could be on the sky. I'll just remember him for a moment, so I can think in that time and see that I do know warm, and then I'll forget about the cold. Because there was once in which it wasn't ice needles the ones that broke my skin. His kisses were on my skin, and they didn't hurt, they healed. He took care of me, and his hands caressed me, not like this winter wind that crawls over me, and his hands gave me warm, and the star could join its moon and everything was perfect. It could seem impossible, but there wasn't cold, it went away, it didn't even exist…
Cold. So bloody much. I'm freezing. And this kind of cold.... no, no, no, no, please, please no...
I beg you! Mercy, mercy, don't take my moon away!
I do not want more cold!!
It wasn't me!
No, no, don't take him! Don't take him, don't leave me like this! Don't take my beautiful moon! Don't take it away, because it is also my sun! And its warm, and is a soft summer breeze against my skin, when once upon a time there were his kisses! Don't take my moon, you can't leave me like this, in the cold!
I swear it's not my fault! I swear it!
Please, I beg you, It wasn't me!
NOOOOOOOOO!!! Don't take him away from me too, please!!
Don't leave me alone!
Don't leave me without him, here in the cold!