Nowhere's Home
Author: Noa
Feedback: julianna_fan@yahoo.com
Legal crap: I don't own Abby or Luka. Title comes from a Goo Goo Dolls song called Sympathy.
Archive: Yes for list archives, anything else just ask.
Summary: Follow up to 9.14, No Strings Attached. Abby angst, Luka/Abby friendship.
--
She walked down the street and up the stairs, a bag in each hand. One hand loosely held a bag filled with the necessitate groceries, or the ones people claimed everybody needed to have. She never quite bought that idea, it had that whole breakfast appeal to it, but she got them anyway. Then there was the other hand carrying the second bag... A bag which she gripped onto tightly, for it held the only thing she could always count on, could always go back to - Tequila. 40% alcohol, 60% of some other rubbish she never really cared for. It was her only friend now, her only friend ever.
Some things fell out of her bag, but Abby didn't bother to pick them up. It was useless, as she knew they would just fall out again - And if they don't, they'll just go rotten in her refrigerator while she would be killing her appetite with massive amounts of alcohol. She finally made it up to the second floor where her apartment was, lazily looking in her pockets for the key. She put down the fuller bag to allow her fingers more movement, and after a few moments finally found the key, unlocked the door and let herself in, kicking the bag inside while her hands held the bottle tightly.
She moved in the apartment like a zombie, going through the motions she knew so well. Glasses were inside the cabinet on the far left, so she took one out, opened the bottle, poured some in and drank it. Abby didn't feel the first few glasses, and it wasn't until she downed 5 or 6 glasses that she finally felt the liquid burn its way down her throat.
The bottle was nearly empty, but the thoughts refused to go away. They used to, they used to just disappear for the few hours between her fifth drink or so and the point where she sobered up. For that short period of time, she was free from everything that bothered her... Not tonight. Tonight those thoughts refused to go away, tonight Eric wouldn't leave her mind no matter how much she wished he would.
She wanted someone to be there for her now. She needed someone to just tell her that no matter how hopeless it was, Eric was still alive. To promise her that he would, indeed, just show up in a few minutes. But Eric had been right, no one was ever there for her - She never let anyone get too close. Too afraid to be hurt, to afraid to get burnt again, so she just went through her life with no one ever really there for her.
She had to change it by herself, she had to start somewhere. So she called him, hoping he could be her reliable protector just one more time, one last time...
"This is Luka Kovac, please leave a message." Beep. Damn machine, damn it, damn it. She was about to slam the phone down, but decided against it when the idea of him being home but avoiding calls crossed her mind.
"Eh... Luka, this is A-Abby... I'm so sorry to bothe-"
"Abby?"
His voice sounded tired, and otherwise lacking any emotion. It was low and quiet, as if it was coming out from a place far away from her, not the phone held up against her ear. The silence seemed to have lasted forever, when in fact it was no longer than thirty seconds before he spoke up again.
"Abby? Are you there?"
She mentally kicked herself before replying. "Luka, I-I'm sorry, I shouldn't have called..."
"It's okay," he quickly reassured her. Despite the fact that he spent the last 30 hours or so in bed, Luka was tired as hell. He forgot the last time he managed to sleep for more than an hour, and even that was a rare occasion. But now, hearing Abby's voice as fragile as it was now, all of his senses came back to him. "What happened?"
She played with the phone's cord, unsure of what to say. It was stupid to call him in the first place, anyway. They weren't dating anymore, and if she had to be honest with herself, they weren't even much of friends the last few months. But somehow, despite all that, he was the only one she wanted some comfort and sympathy from. He was the only one that she knew wouldn't judge her.
"Can I come over, Luka? I know it's late and that I have no right to ask this... But can I?" She spoke those words quickly, afraid she would chicken out if she said them at a normal rate.
"I'm not going anywhere," he said, hanging up the phone before Abby had the chance to reply. Which was okay by her, because she really didn't know what to tell him. She was just thankful he accepted her request.
Drinking the remaining of the wine directly from the bottle, she got out, locked the door behind her and headed towards Luka's apartment. So long since she had been there, and she still knew exactly how long it to took to get to his house on the El.
2 minutes from her apartment to the nearest El station, 21 minutes spent on the El, 5 minutes to get to his apartment from the El. Only tonight it took 12 more minutes, because apparently being a bit drunk makes it harder to walk straight, and you may end up falling flat on your ass, which may delay you in a few minutes.
So finally, after 40 minutes, she was there. Standing in front of his door, and for the millionth time that night she wondered what the hell she was doing there.
She knocked on the door anyway. If she hadn't known better, she'd think he was standing by the door waiting for her considering the short time it took him to open it. He moved to the side, allowing her to pass him and go in, and he soon followed her, closing the door behind him.
"Could you just... Just hold me? Please?"
He moved towards her wordlessly, wrapping his arms around her and letting her sink into his embrace. He didn't try to understand why she was here, why now, why him. He gave up trying to understand Abby long ago. He just went through moments with her, taking what she gave him to see in that moment. He never tried to connect it with the past, never tried to picture how it would affect the future. He focused on now. And right now she was here, obviously in some sort of distress, and the only thing her could do was give her what she asked for.
So he held her tightly until he noticed that she had fallen asleep, picked her up carefully and gently lowered her to his bed. He pulled a blanket above her to replace the warmth of his own body, and left her like that for rest of the night.
When she woke up a few hours later, he was still there by her side, watching her. She sat up, trying to remember how she ended up there. He didn't say a word. Neither did she as she got up from the bed while straightening her clothes. She only opened her mouth when she was standing an inch away from him. "Thank you," she whispered, leaning down to kiss him on the cheek.
With that she started making her way outside, stopping for a moment at the door. "It's Eric," she said, her voice nearly cracking as she said her brother's name. Luka just nodded as she left the apartment, closing the door behind her. She always left.
Abby rushed over to the El station, ignoring the pain in her head. She had things to do, she had Maggie and Carter to call...
Author: Noa
Feedback: julianna_fan@yahoo.com
Legal crap: I don't own Abby or Luka. Title comes from a Goo Goo Dolls song called Sympathy.
Archive: Yes for list archives, anything else just ask.
Summary: Follow up to 9.14, No Strings Attached. Abby angst, Luka/Abby friendship.
--
She walked down the street and up the stairs, a bag in each hand. One hand loosely held a bag filled with the necessitate groceries, or the ones people claimed everybody needed to have. She never quite bought that idea, it had that whole breakfast appeal to it, but she got them anyway. Then there was the other hand carrying the second bag... A bag which she gripped onto tightly, for it held the only thing she could always count on, could always go back to - Tequila. 40% alcohol, 60% of some other rubbish she never really cared for. It was her only friend now, her only friend ever.
Some things fell out of her bag, but Abby didn't bother to pick them up. It was useless, as she knew they would just fall out again - And if they don't, they'll just go rotten in her refrigerator while she would be killing her appetite with massive amounts of alcohol. She finally made it up to the second floor where her apartment was, lazily looking in her pockets for the key. She put down the fuller bag to allow her fingers more movement, and after a few moments finally found the key, unlocked the door and let herself in, kicking the bag inside while her hands held the bottle tightly.
She moved in the apartment like a zombie, going through the motions she knew so well. Glasses were inside the cabinet on the far left, so she took one out, opened the bottle, poured some in and drank it. Abby didn't feel the first few glasses, and it wasn't until she downed 5 or 6 glasses that she finally felt the liquid burn its way down her throat.
The bottle was nearly empty, but the thoughts refused to go away. They used to, they used to just disappear for the few hours between her fifth drink or so and the point where she sobered up. For that short period of time, she was free from everything that bothered her... Not tonight. Tonight those thoughts refused to go away, tonight Eric wouldn't leave her mind no matter how much she wished he would.
She wanted someone to be there for her now. She needed someone to just tell her that no matter how hopeless it was, Eric was still alive. To promise her that he would, indeed, just show up in a few minutes. But Eric had been right, no one was ever there for her - She never let anyone get too close. Too afraid to be hurt, to afraid to get burnt again, so she just went through her life with no one ever really there for her.
She had to change it by herself, she had to start somewhere. So she called him, hoping he could be her reliable protector just one more time, one last time...
"This is Luka Kovac, please leave a message." Beep. Damn machine, damn it, damn it. She was about to slam the phone down, but decided against it when the idea of him being home but avoiding calls crossed her mind.
"Eh... Luka, this is A-Abby... I'm so sorry to bothe-"
"Abby?"
His voice sounded tired, and otherwise lacking any emotion. It was low and quiet, as if it was coming out from a place far away from her, not the phone held up against her ear. The silence seemed to have lasted forever, when in fact it was no longer than thirty seconds before he spoke up again.
"Abby? Are you there?"
She mentally kicked herself before replying. "Luka, I-I'm sorry, I shouldn't have called..."
"It's okay," he quickly reassured her. Despite the fact that he spent the last 30 hours or so in bed, Luka was tired as hell. He forgot the last time he managed to sleep for more than an hour, and even that was a rare occasion. But now, hearing Abby's voice as fragile as it was now, all of his senses came back to him. "What happened?"
She played with the phone's cord, unsure of what to say. It was stupid to call him in the first place, anyway. They weren't dating anymore, and if she had to be honest with herself, they weren't even much of friends the last few months. But somehow, despite all that, he was the only one she wanted some comfort and sympathy from. He was the only one that she knew wouldn't judge her.
"Can I come over, Luka? I know it's late and that I have no right to ask this... But can I?" She spoke those words quickly, afraid she would chicken out if she said them at a normal rate.
"I'm not going anywhere," he said, hanging up the phone before Abby had the chance to reply. Which was okay by her, because she really didn't know what to tell him. She was just thankful he accepted her request.
Drinking the remaining of the wine directly from the bottle, she got out, locked the door behind her and headed towards Luka's apartment. So long since she had been there, and she still knew exactly how long it to took to get to his house on the El.
2 minutes from her apartment to the nearest El station, 21 minutes spent on the El, 5 minutes to get to his apartment from the El. Only tonight it took 12 more minutes, because apparently being a bit drunk makes it harder to walk straight, and you may end up falling flat on your ass, which may delay you in a few minutes.
So finally, after 40 minutes, she was there. Standing in front of his door, and for the millionth time that night she wondered what the hell she was doing there.
She knocked on the door anyway. If she hadn't known better, she'd think he was standing by the door waiting for her considering the short time it took him to open it. He moved to the side, allowing her to pass him and go in, and he soon followed her, closing the door behind him.
"Could you just... Just hold me? Please?"
He moved towards her wordlessly, wrapping his arms around her and letting her sink into his embrace. He didn't try to understand why she was here, why now, why him. He gave up trying to understand Abby long ago. He just went through moments with her, taking what she gave him to see in that moment. He never tried to connect it with the past, never tried to picture how it would affect the future. He focused on now. And right now she was here, obviously in some sort of distress, and the only thing her could do was give her what she asked for.
So he held her tightly until he noticed that she had fallen asleep, picked her up carefully and gently lowered her to his bed. He pulled a blanket above her to replace the warmth of his own body, and left her like that for rest of the night.
When she woke up a few hours later, he was still there by her side, watching her. She sat up, trying to remember how she ended up there. He didn't say a word. Neither did she as she got up from the bed while straightening her clothes. She only opened her mouth when she was standing an inch away from him. "Thank you," she whispered, leaning down to kiss him on the cheek.
With that she started making her way outside, stopping for a moment at the door. "It's Eric," she said, her voice nearly cracking as she said her brother's name. Luka just nodded as she left the apartment, closing the door behind her. She always left.
Abby rushed over to the El station, ignoring the pain in her head. She had things to do, she had Maggie and Carter to call...