I had gained all I wanted when he spoke those words... Or at least the delusion seemed perfect. He was such a terrified little bird trying to free itself from the net... I chuckled and pulled Omi to my chest where he tried to resist me, tried to break free.
"What's wrong with you?! What's happened to you? Can't you just let me be...?" he begged.
I kissed him lightly and watched complete disgust appear on his face. He didn't hate me...he wanted to get away from me, to forget about me. That wasn't true hate. True hate was the obsession of seeing.... The obsession with destroying.
"You don't hate me. Until you do I will never let you be," I murmured into his ear.
He fell against my chest and broke down sobbing. I at least still had some power over him. How long had it been since we seduced each other...? I brushed the hair from his face and tilted his chin upwards as I smiled down at him. I didn't expect Omi to lift his face upwards and push his lips to mine. I hadn't expected him to push me against the wall as he continued to kiss me, and so I was too shocked to react.
How long...? 4 years. It had been 4 years since he disappeared after Weiss had finished. I wonder if he knew how he had condemned them. I remember his final words to me inside the park... I was still a bit innocent then too. I could still smile at someone and look like I actually meant it and had hope for this sad world.
"Why...? It's over now, isn't it?" I had asked with tears dripping from my face.
I could cry too... It was one of those times in my life where things were so beautiful that I couldn't even appreciate it. I couldn't cry now... Not even when I killed Schuldig did I cry... I hate him. I hate them all.
"I...I don't want to hurt you... I don't trust myself anymore... I love you Nagi. I'll always love you... We just shouldn't have ever been together...it's simply not right... My friends...they would never forgive me," he had murmured.
I had watched him fold his arms over his chest and look up at me with depressed eyes. I had watched him walk up to me and brush the tears from my eyes with gentle kisses. However...I felt him stick the dart into my skin that knocked me out for a week. When I woke up I was in Schuldig's room and I knew then just how much Omi didn't love me at all.
I had locked myself in my room for weeks thinking until I came to my conclusion. I understood then just how much love and hate were alike and how much Omi couldn't feel either. No innocent soul would understand...
"I'm going to ruin your innocence, Omi," I chuckled out.
"Is it because I've ruined yours...?" he asked softly.
He brushed his hand down my neck, down my side, and around my waist until he reached my back. He looked up at me and smiled as he lifted his free hand to one of my wrists and held it up. He pressed his lips against mine roughly as he had yet to do before.
"Explain to me how you think," he whispered softly with his lips brushing against mine as he spoke.
"You don't care for life...? Locking yourself up like a fool, how could you? I care for life... I care for yours and mine. I'm obsessed with you. Obsession is the only true form of love and hate... It's the only way I can think of you and only you. If I thought of anyone else it would shame your perfection and your flaws... Do you not understand? You don't love me at all. You've lied to me for so long because of your cruel innocence. I hate you, Omi, because only I can love you..." I replied.
"It's night."
I looked at Omi and tilted my head slightly before I looked over at the window to see the moon in the sky. It's night.
Omi's hand lifted my other wrist and pressed it against the wall. He pressed his lips against mine again with his eyes closed tightly. I stared at him in amazement as his hands tightened their grip on my wrists and tears dripped down his face.
Omi...how I loved Omi. How I could only love to hate him so greatly...
Notes: Well! I wrote half of that a long time ago ((well, not that long, it's been nine days since I updated last so like...4 days ago?)) Heh, heh ^^;;; Bombay-chan~ Should I email you when I update or no? Hmm...so many options ^^;;; I sure hope it's not too weird for you o.O;;; Sorry about my last email . I was all dead from finals ^^;;; On other notes! Right...other notes o.O;;; Gimme a minute to think about what those are... Oh right!
Yuki Fuyumi: there will be little tid bits randomly ^^;;; Thanks for reminding me I should probably throw some of that in...heh heh ^^;; I don't really preplan anything I write... I just sit down and whatever comes out well...does ^^;; I don't read over what I write either because then I usually sorta just stare at it and wonder what the hell I was thinking ^^;;; So sorry for bad grammar! And wait...I have a plot o.O;;; Cool, I never knew XD
Sammy-chan: rabu you too XD You're so nice to my ego X3 Though, I'm not a talented writer o.O;; I'm a very bad one, that you XD That's the only reason I'm not insane *nods* All talented writers are lunatics . Hey wait...something like this? What is like this oO;; it's just weird from what I remember of it XD And since I wrote more...REVIEW MORE SOON XD It makes my huge ego grow even more ^.- *runs away*
Nekocin: aww, it's not a bad review, just not much I can ramble too XD Sok though~
TBC...when I get free time again X3 *has lots of it, just spends it on other things...like Suikoden III *___* anyone wanna write a suikoden III boi rabu fic with Jacques in it for me? I'll love you forever XD
Side notes: FINALS ARE OVER XD Whooooo~
"What's wrong with you?! What's happened to you? Can't you just let me be...?" he begged.
I kissed him lightly and watched complete disgust appear on his face. He didn't hate me...he wanted to get away from me, to forget about me. That wasn't true hate. True hate was the obsession of seeing.... The obsession with destroying.
"You don't hate me. Until you do I will never let you be," I murmured into his ear.
He fell against my chest and broke down sobbing. I at least still had some power over him. How long had it been since we seduced each other...? I brushed the hair from his face and tilted his chin upwards as I smiled down at him. I didn't expect Omi to lift his face upwards and push his lips to mine. I hadn't expected him to push me against the wall as he continued to kiss me, and so I was too shocked to react.
How long...? 4 years. It had been 4 years since he disappeared after Weiss had finished. I wonder if he knew how he had condemned them. I remember his final words to me inside the park... I was still a bit innocent then too. I could still smile at someone and look like I actually meant it and had hope for this sad world.
"Why...? It's over now, isn't it?" I had asked with tears dripping from my face.
I could cry too... It was one of those times in my life where things were so beautiful that I couldn't even appreciate it. I couldn't cry now... Not even when I killed Schuldig did I cry... I hate him. I hate them all.
"I...I don't want to hurt you... I don't trust myself anymore... I love you Nagi. I'll always love you... We just shouldn't have ever been together...it's simply not right... My friends...they would never forgive me," he had murmured.
I had watched him fold his arms over his chest and look up at me with depressed eyes. I had watched him walk up to me and brush the tears from my eyes with gentle kisses. However...I felt him stick the dart into my skin that knocked me out for a week. When I woke up I was in Schuldig's room and I knew then just how much Omi didn't love me at all.
I had locked myself in my room for weeks thinking until I came to my conclusion. I understood then just how much love and hate were alike and how much Omi couldn't feel either. No innocent soul would understand...
"I'm going to ruin your innocence, Omi," I chuckled out.
"Is it because I've ruined yours...?" he asked softly.
He brushed his hand down my neck, down my side, and around my waist until he reached my back. He looked up at me and smiled as he lifted his free hand to one of my wrists and held it up. He pressed his lips against mine roughly as he had yet to do before.
"Explain to me how you think," he whispered softly with his lips brushing against mine as he spoke.
"You don't care for life...? Locking yourself up like a fool, how could you? I care for life... I care for yours and mine. I'm obsessed with you. Obsession is the only true form of love and hate... It's the only way I can think of you and only you. If I thought of anyone else it would shame your perfection and your flaws... Do you not understand? You don't love me at all. You've lied to me for so long because of your cruel innocence. I hate you, Omi, because only I can love you..." I replied.
"It's night."
I looked at Omi and tilted my head slightly before I looked over at the window to see the moon in the sky. It's night.
Omi's hand lifted my other wrist and pressed it against the wall. He pressed his lips against mine again with his eyes closed tightly. I stared at him in amazement as his hands tightened their grip on my wrists and tears dripped down his face.
Omi...how I loved Omi. How I could only love to hate him so greatly...
Notes: Well! I wrote half of that a long time ago ((well, not that long, it's been nine days since I updated last so like...4 days ago?)) Heh, heh ^^;;; Bombay-chan~ Should I email you when I update or no? Hmm...so many options ^^;;; I sure hope it's not too weird for you o.O;;; Sorry about my last email . I was all dead from finals ^^;;; On other notes! Right...other notes o.O;;; Gimme a minute to think about what those are... Oh right!
Yuki Fuyumi: there will be little tid bits randomly ^^;;; Thanks for reminding me I should probably throw some of that in...heh heh ^^;; I don't really preplan anything I write... I just sit down and whatever comes out well...does ^^;; I don't read over what I write either because then I usually sorta just stare at it and wonder what the hell I was thinking ^^;;; So sorry for bad grammar! And wait...I have a plot o.O;;; Cool, I never knew XD
Sammy-chan: rabu you too XD You're so nice to my ego X3 Though, I'm not a talented writer o.O;; I'm a very bad one, that you XD That's the only reason I'm not insane *nods* All talented writers are lunatics . Hey wait...something like this? What is like this oO;; it's just weird from what I remember of it XD And since I wrote more...REVIEW MORE SOON XD It makes my huge ego grow even more ^.- *runs away*
Nekocin: aww, it's not a bad review, just not much I can ramble too XD Sok though~
TBC...when I get free time again X3 *has lots of it, just spends it on other things...like Suikoden III *___* anyone wanna write a suikoden III boi rabu fic with Jacques in it for me? I'll love you forever XD
Side notes: FINALS ARE OVER XD Whooooo~