I was shaking...trembling... Could Nagi see it? Could he see how terrified I was of him? I was even having troubles breathing but that kiss... If I did not continue that kiss I was afraid that someone horrible would happen... I was afraid he would gain his senses and kill me out of what I had done to him.
Nagi... Yes, this boy...man...he is Nagi. How can this truly be a man? Those muscles that lack definition, the small frame and slight build. He looked as though had another sun passed he would fade into the weakness of atrophy and never use his strength again. His face was still innocent in appearance when he looked at me with shock on his face... As long as it wasn't that obsessive stare that made me feel as though he longed to devour my entirety, he could remain childish.
What have I done to you...? You used to come to me sobbing because you were afraid that one day those souls of the people you had killed would come after you. You told me they haunted your dreams and watched you as you slept... You told me that you hadn't slept for so long and when you did sleep it was very little because you were utterly terrified. You were so afraid that it made me want to hold you until time failed to pass.
How much things have changed since then. I'm more afraid than you are now... Back then, I was scared too, but I didn't cry quite like you. I didn't curl into a submissive ball with tears streaking my cheeks as I shook in fear and cried out about the pain that possessed my spirit. But you did...and I loved you for it.
I opened my eyes to look at you again with my vision still blurred from the tears. I love you, Nagi, I always will. Neither of us have sins that can be forgiven. You think that you're the one that killed them all? You think that you possess the power to take claim for those lives and where it lead them? It is not them that died; it is their lives' course that killed them. It is my life's course that will one day be the death of me.
I can't help but wonder, beautiful Nagi, will you be the one to kill me? Would that make you happy now...? Death is the final form of closure, is it not, and you followed me all this way to receive that...
"Was my leaving so suddenly not enough for you? Is it closure you desire?" I asked with my voice faltering and failing me.
"Omi...how can you be so wrong so often...? You see, Omi, I love you. I want to keep you with me as long as possible... I couldn't care less about closure. It isn't something I need from you...all I need is you... I want to control you, Omi, all of you... I can have your body simply but until you love me too I will never have your thoughts..." Nagi murmured in reply after that shock look had faded as well as his innocence.
"My thoughts...? But what of my heart? Can you care not for it as well?" I asked.
Nagi chuckled quietly and placed his forehead against mine with his nose in collision with mine, and his lips barely inches away. I felt my body temperature rise in a nervous reaction as I turned away from him with his forehead against my cheek instead.
"You're heart, my love, is merely for pushing blood throughout your body. It has no purpose when it comes to what I want... I can never have your thoughts...can I? It doesn't matter... I'll take them from you..."
His hands pushed into my hair as he forced me to face him. His lips pressed against mine with his eyes tightly closed and his waist pressing up against mine in a cruelty that could only be understood by those that had lacked human contact for as long as I had. I bit my bottom lip until I felt the slight crimson droplets fall from the exposure and drip down my cheek. I felt a tongue lick it off of me and a soft chuckle tease my ears.
"I loved you once, Nagi... I am sure I still do. I love you Nagi..."
Notes: o.O;;; I'm really getting bored of this fic... Might have something to do with the fact I write it once a week ^^;;; I'm sorry Bombay-chan and To-chan, it might end a lot earlier than previously expected ^^;; Like...in the next two parts ^^;;;
Yuki Fuyumi: and if that happens there will probably be a lot unexplained, heh heh ^^;;; I'm not much of the fan fic writing type. Actually, I'm not much of the writing type at all... I don't believe in preplanning X3 Well, except general plot, but all fanfics I write have no plot, so... o.O; Btw, are you on the Nagi ML? I swear your SN is familiar...
ChouKourin: Sorry I'm so slow ^^;;; Lots of homework @.@ My classes are after my blood o.O;;;;; But yes, sorry again ^^;; And yes...Nagi is crazy o.O;;; Doesn't help with the music I listen to while writing this... ^^;;
Bombay-chan and To-chan: ;_; I'm sorry, I'm just challenged in the fan fic area ;_;
Nagi... Yes, this boy...man...he is Nagi. How can this truly be a man? Those muscles that lack definition, the small frame and slight build. He looked as though had another sun passed he would fade into the weakness of atrophy and never use his strength again. His face was still innocent in appearance when he looked at me with shock on his face... As long as it wasn't that obsessive stare that made me feel as though he longed to devour my entirety, he could remain childish.
What have I done to you...? You used to come to me sobbing because you were afraid that one day those souls of the people you had killed would come after you. You told me they haunted your dreams and watched you as you slept... You told me that you hadn't slept for so long and when you did sleep it was very little because you were utterly terrified. You were so afraid that it made me want to hold you until time failed to pass.
How much things have changed since then. I'm more afraid than you are now... Back then, I was scared too, but I didn't cry quite like you. I didn't curl into a submissive ball with tears streaking my cheeks as I shook in fear and cried out about the pain that possessed my spirit. But you did...and I loved you for it.
I opened my eyes to look at you again with my vision still blurred from the tears. I love you, Nagi, I always will. Neither of us have sins that can be forgiven. You think that you're the one that killed them all? You think that you possess the power to take claim for those lives and where it lead them? It is not them that died; it is their lives' course that killed them. It is my life's course that will one day be the death of me.
I can't help but wonder, beautiful Nagi, will you be the one to kill me? Would that make you happy now...? Death is the final form of closure, is it not, and you followed me all this way to receive that...
"Was my leaving so suddenly not enough for you? Is it closure you desire?" I asked with my voice faltering and failing me.
"Omi...how can you be so wrong so often...? You see, Omi, I love you. I want to keep you with me as long as possible... I couldn't care less about closure. It isn't something I need from you...all I need is you... I want to control you, Omi, all of you... I can have your body simply but until you love me too I will never have your thoughts..." Nagi murmured in reply after that shock look had faded as well as his innocence.
"My thoughts...? But what of my heart? Can you care not for it as well?" I asked.
Nagi chuckled quietly and placed his forehead against mine with his nose in collision with mine, and his lips barely inches away. I felt my body temperature rise in a nervous reaction as I turned away from him with his forehead against my cheek instead.
"You're heart, my love, is merely for pushing blood throughout your body. It has no purpose when it comes to what I want... I can never have your thoughts...can I? It doesn't matter... I'll take them from you..."
His hands pushed into my hair as he forced me to face him. His lips pressed against mine with his eyes tightly closed and his waist pressing up against mine in a cruelty that could only be understood by those that had lacked human contact for as long as I had. I bit my bottom lip until I felt the slight crimson droplets fall from the exposure and drip down my cheek. I felt a tongue lick it off of me and a soft chuckle tease my ears.
"I loved you once, Nagi... I am sure I still do. I love you Nagi..."
Notes: o.O;;; I'm really getting bored of this fic... Might have something to do with the fact I write it once a week ^^;;; I'm sorry Bombay-chan and To-chan, it might end a lot earlier than previously expected ^^;; Like...in the next two parts ^^;;;
Yuki Fuyumi: and if that happens there will probably be a lot unexplained, heh heh ^^;;; I'm not much of the fan fic writing type. Actually, I'm not much of the writing type at all... I don't believe in preplanning X3 Well, except general plot, but all fanfics I write have no plot, so... o.O; Btw, are you on the Nagi ML? I swear your SN is familiar...
ChouKourin: Sorry I'm so slow ^^;;; Lots of homework @.@ My classes are after my blood o.O;;;;; But yes, sorry again ^^;; And yes...Nagi is crazy o.O;;; Doesn't help with the music I listen to while writing this... ^^;;
Bombay-chan and To-chan: ;_; I'm sorry, I'm just challenged in the fan fic area ;_;