Chapter 2: Those darn Vok!

Back at the Darkside everyone is preparing for the meteor when Inferno emerges from the other room and takes his position. Quickstrike comes out a second later, looking slightly the worse for wear.

Quickstrike: Muh…muh…muh…

Megatron: Ah, Quickstrike! You survived, yesssss. Get to your post!

Quickstrike looks up at the tyrant as if in a daze.

Quickstrike: Are YOU ma mother?

Megatron: Um…

Rampage: Firing auto-guns!

Dinobot 2: Raising Sentinel shield!

Waspinator: Making sandwich!

Everyone stares at Waspinator.

Waspinator: What?

Cut to outside the Darkside. The Sentinel shield flares into life as the auto-guns simultaneously aim upward and send a hail of firepower hurtling towards the 'meteor'. The heavy rounds impact off it, causing no damage. Back at the Darkside…

Dinobot 2: Sensors report 90% of the meteor has been destroyed!

Suddenly every monitor on the Darkside explodes.

Dinobot 2: Apologies. I was looking at the wrong monitor.

Predacon Computer: Radiation from meteor affecting all primary systems. Sentinel shield go bye-bye now.

Megatron: Well that's just Megatron.

Cut to the exterior of the Darkside as the Sentinel shield dissipates. Back inside the Predacons stare upwards as emergency klaxons continue to blare.

Inferno: Royalty! It will destroy the colony! And I can't imagine it will be all that pleasant for us either!

Everyone looks to Megatron to make a decision. The camera focuses on ol' Grape Face as he thinks long and hard over what to do.

Megatron: Having thought long and hard about the matter for a full five seconds (a record!), I have decided to…HEY!

The other Predacons have already broken the door down and are running like mad away from the Darkside, except for Inferno who is awaiting his Queen's brilliant idea with rapt attention.

Inferno: My Queen, I await your brilliant idea with rapt attention!

Megatron (transforming into dragon mode): Oh, shut up and RUN!

And so both Predacons exited the base mere moments before the 'meteor' destroyed the Darkside. Over at the Ark…

Primal: It did WHAT?!?

Rattrap: Yeah. Sorry Optimus but…yer pet lemming took a long walk off a short mountain top dis mornin'.

Primal (teary eyed): Sir Oink's-A-Lot?

Blackarachnia (to Rattrap): Do I want to know?

Rattrap: If ya value yer sanity, no.

Blackarachnia: Thought so. Optimus?

Primal (manfully holding back the tears): Y-yeah?

Blackarachnia: What do you want to do about the admittedly small matter of the possible return of a race of incredibly dangerous aliens who would like nothing better than to see us all roasting in the very deepest levels of the Pit?

Primal: I…I…I CAN'T DEAL WITH THIS NOW!

Primal runs out of the room bawling his eyes out all the while. The three Maximals stare after him in silence for a moment.

Rhinox: All in favor of sending Cheetor on this dangerous and possibly fatal mission say 'aye'.

Rattrap: Aye.

Blackarachnia: Aye.

Rhinox: Aye.

Silverbolt (down the corridor): Aye.

Depth Charge (over the com): Aye. 

Cheetor (also over the com): Nay.

Rhinox: Sorry Cheetor, the ayes have it.

Cheetor: Crud.

Back with the Predacons, who are watching Tigerhawk menacingly fly out of the crater left behind by his arrival.

Tigerhawk: I am Tigerhawk, emmisary of the Vok!

Predacons: Who?

Tigerhawk: The Vok. You know, the aliens who have been trying to reduce you all to so much paperweight material?

Predacons: Ah.

Tigerhawk: Your form's changed but I know you Megatron.

Megatron: B-but how?!?

Tigerhawk silently points to a nametag on Megatron's chest which reads "Hi! I'm Megatron!" As the tyrant rips the tag off he shoots a nasty glare at Inferno.

Inferno: But Royalty, it seemed a good idea at the time!

Tigerhawk: Anyway, the Vok charge you with the perversion of time and space, not to mention quite a few indecency charges.

Megatron: For the last time, I WAS DRUNK!

Tigerhawk: Suuuuuure you were. Cutting a short story even shorter, it's dying time for you and your followers.

Megatron (robot-moding): Oh really?

Tigerhawk smirks at Megatron before shooting a beam of energy at the sky. Instantly the clouds darken and a tornado appears sucking up Inferno, Waspinator and Quickstrike.

Waspinator (checking a stopwatch): Hmmm. Slagged in four seconds. This must be a new record for Wazzzzzpinator.

Quickstrike: MAAAAAAAAAAA!

The tornado speeds off, carrying the three Predacons away from the battle. Tigerhawk points a missile at Rampage and Dinobot 2.

Tigerhawk: Who's next?

Dinobot 2/Rampage (pointing at each other): Him.

After a second of thought the Fuzor fires the missile, casuing it to impact between the duo and sending them flying. Megatron begins to look worried.

Tigerhawk: I give you one final chance Megatron! Resist me and die slowly and painfully or surrender, whereby you'll die slightly quicker.

Megatron: I give you…EVERY CHANCE IN THE WORLD!

    

Awkward pause.

Megatron: Crap. One of the best lines of the episode and I blow it.

Tigerhawk: Can we fight already? I'm on something of a tight schedule here.

Megatron: Huh? Oh yeah, that.

Both bots leap into the air, transforming into their dragon and tiger/falcon modes respectively before clashing in mid-air. Meanwhile Cheetor is swiftly making his way to the battle zone.

Cheetor: Grumble grumble…damn friends sending me on a suicide mission…mutter mutter…they'll pay for this, oh yes they will pay…

Cheetor is stopped in his rambling by the sight of Megatron and Tigerhawk fighting in mid-air.

Cheetor: Either I'm at the right co-ordinates or I've stumbled onto one freaky Pokemon battle.

Cheetor watches for a few minutes, enraptured by the pretty weapon effects. Then, with a shake of his head, he prepares to leap into the fray. After a few minutes of readying himself, he looks around, annoyed.

Cheetor: Uh, hello? I'm waiting here!

Tarantulas (off screen): Keep your pants on, I'm coming!

Tarantulas comes hobbling out from behind a rock, with 85% of his body covered in Plaster of Paris.

Cheetor: Whoa! What the slag happened to you?

Tarantulas: Well, I could just tell you and save time, but what's the fun in that? Flashback mode!

The scene goes all wobbly as we go back to the mad spider's lair at the end of Chapter 1. After sitting on the red hot needles, Tarantulas leaps into the air and makes contact with the light bulb. After getting fried by many, many volts of electricity, Tarantulas hit the ground and bounced into the oven, smashing the door in and upsetting the bowl of hot fondue which had been resting on top, causing it to fall on him. Blinded by the fondue, Tarantulas stumbled backwards, landing in the closet with the words "Storage for large anvils and ready set mousetraps" written on the door. Many clanging and snapping noises are heard for a solid half hour.  

Tarantulas: Gaahhh…I'm in…tremendous pain…eeeHEEYAHEAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!

End flashback.

Cheetor: Huh? If you were in tremendous pain, then why were you laughing?

Tarantulas: Contractual obligation. I have to do that at least once an episode. Now on to business!

Tarantulas traps Cheetor in a web and looks down at Tigerhawk below. Thanks to the flashback, the Fuzor has already beaten Megatron and is at the end of his dialogue with Optimal Optimus. They seem to be arguing about something.

Primal: …and I say that the coolest member of the Fellowship is Boromir!

Tigerhawk: Fool! None can withstand the coolness of Aragorn! BUUUUURRRRRRRNNNN!

Inferno (a distance away): Quiet you!

Tigerhawk opens a chasm, swallowing up Primal. With this done, he turns back to the task at hand, only to be swarmed by Tarantulas' light bulb/spider drones.

Tigerhawk: AAGH! Not the face! Not the face!

A loud CLANG can be heard.

Tigerhawk: EEEEEYAAAAAH! Not the crotch! Not the crotch!

Tigerhawk goes down as Tarantulas laughs in triumph from on top of the cliff. A lightning bolt strikes him, casuing him to fall into a pile of mutant cacti which bursts into flame for no good reason. Fade to black over the sound of Tarantulas getting beaten up by a pack of drunk ninja cows…

The third and final part to this travesty coming soon!