Disclaimer: I own none of the characters in this story – all of them are owned by JK Rowling. The first two lines of speech are also directly copied from Prisoner of Azkaban. The song lyrics are from Immortality, by the BeeGees and Celine Dion.
Immortality
"Not Harry! Not Harry! Please – I'll do anything –" Lily Potter screamed, throwing herself onto her son as the figure of Lord Voldemort, tall and menacing, advanced on her.
Tears streamed down her face as she thought of her husband, lying somewhere downstairs… all alone, cold, dead…
Smoke from downstairs began to waft to her nostrils as she saw it filter from below the door, and more panic started to set in. Sweat began to form on her forehead as she felt the heat from the fires below rising.
"Stand aside – stand aside, girl –" Screamed the voice of the Dark Lord back, pushing her out of the way and to his prey.
"No!" Lily screamed, tearing at his robes, pulling him away from the small cradle in which her crying baby lay.
Voldemort turned to her, snarling as he threw her from his person. "Stay away from me girl; you don't have to die today… your son, however…" He turned again, wand outstretched, as he peeked into the cradle.
Lily yelled as she rushed forwards again, tears falling down her cheeks. However, she felt no weakness in her strength caused by her emotion – if anything, her anger and determination pushed her forward more than she could imagine…
She pulled Voldemort again from the cradle, before throwing herself onto it.
"If you want to kill Harry, you'll have to kill me first…" She snarled, glaring up at Voldemort in her anger.
Voldemort shook his head, considering for a moment. Then, raising his wand, he placed it directly onto Lily's heart. Her heart pounded fiercely, but somehow Lily didn't feel scared at the wand directed her way. She knew; if she died, Harry would survive. Nothing else mattered. She closed her eyes, not wanting to see the gleam of triumph in Voldemort's eyes as he began to whisper the incantatem.
She saw a flash of green light behind her eyelids as she felt the life rush from her body, and the shriek of laughter from the body above her. Her thoughts sounded suddenly hollow in her head as she opened her eyes again in surprise; she felt alive, and yet she must be dead…
She opened her eyes and stood up, amazed at what she saw. The ghostly form of her body in front of her, she turned to see her physical body lying across her son's cradle. Moving forward again to Voldemort, she tried to grab a hold of his robes and pull him away from the cradle. However, as soon as her hands made contact with his body, she felt a shivering inside as her hands simply floated straight through him. Voldemort turned in surprise to her direction, but simply turned back as he looked straight through her.
He pushed her body from the cradle, and Lily winced slightly as she saw herself fall to the floor. She ran forwards to Harry, embracing him despite the cold shiverings she experienced as she did so. His crying suddenly stopped as she embraced him, and he turned around to look directly into her eyes.
"Oh, Harry…" She whispered, only being heard to herself.
Voldemort was muttering words beneath his breath, a look of triumph still upon his face. Lily blocked out her hearing to him, only wanting to be with her baby. Then suddenly a rush of green light was emitted from his wand, which hit Harry directly on the forehead. Lily screamed, hugging her baby tighter to her, before she saw Voldemort crumple beside her.
So this is who I am,
And this is all I know,
And I must choose to live,
For all that I can give,
The spark that makes the power grow…She cried in anger as she held her baby close, though she could feel herself lightening to the fact that Voldemort was gone. The charm had worked, then. She whispered a quick prayer to the local librarian who had helped her find the old Charms book, and a curse for her old friend Wormtail. She felt tears fall down her cheeks as she thought of him and all of the trust they had put into him… her and James, they had trusted him with their lives.
She pulled away from her son, marveling again at her new form. She could look over Harry in this way, at least. She could help him along in his life, make sure he was okay in everything that he did… maybe in physical forms she was no use, but at least she could be there for him. She could help him grow, give him strength where he needed it… she only hoped that James was there to guide her through it. She looked up hopefully to the door, but could see nothing. Maybe he was as she was; visible to nobody but herself.
She pulled herself from the cradle as she heard the roar of a motorbike engine outside. Rushing to the window, she saw the silhouettes of Sirius and Hagrid rushing into the house. She felt relieved a moment; she was saved… everything would be all right. She tried to lean on the window, finding that she fell straight through it, and suddenly her heart fell again. Her hand rested on thin air where the window was, but still it couldn't possibly rest on the wood of the sill. The cry of Harry's tears began again, and her heart started to pump frantically in panic.
"No, Lily…" She whispered; everything would be all right… if only she got her head together and accepted it. She had been expecting something like this to happen for so long, and yet… now that it had happened, she felt no comfort from her preparations.
And I will stand for my dream if I can,
Symbol of my faith in who I am,
But you are my only,
And I must follow on the road that lies ahead,
And I won't let my heart control my head,
But you are my only
And we don't say goodbye,
we don't say goodbye,
And I know what I've got to be
She had to stand for who she was; a mother. She would always be a mother to Harry, in life or in death.
The door to the room banged open as Hagrid stepped in, and his face paled as he saw what was in there.
"Lily!" He cried, running over to
her body on the floor and feeling for her pulse.
Lily felt a lump rise to her throat as she saw him grieve; he held her body
close to him as he wept uncontrollably. The room was in total silence but for
the roar of the flames below, and Hagrid's slow, sound sobbing. Harry's cries
echoed over the both of them, and though it warmed Lily's heart to know he was
safe and alive, it also pained her as there was nothing she could do to stop
him. Sirius ran in to the sound of Harry's cries, and stopped abruptly as he
saw Lily's body lying on the floor. His eyes flickered up to Harry, bawling in
his cradle, and he moved quickly over to him.
"Hagrid… come on, we've got to get Harry out of here before the Muggles come…" Sirius croaked, sweeping Harry into his arms and rocking him carefully. He whispered soothingly to Harry, and Lily felt a pang of jealousy as he did so.
Hagrid looked up, his small beady eyes filled with tears as he held to Lily. Then he nodded, lifting Lily's body into his arms, and began to follow Sirius from the room.
Lily followed them, keeping as close to Harry as she possibly could. Down the stairs, through the flames, and out the door… she stopped in the threshold, looking back to where she could see her husband's body.
"James! Get James!" She shouted to
Hagrid, but he couldn't hear her as he carried her own body from the house.
Tears started to fall down her cheeks as she rushed through the flames to her
husband, and flew to the floor beside him. She began to stroke his face with
her fingers, savouring every moment's touch, even though it couldn't really be
defined as 'touch'. It was a weird sensation; feeling when you were dead. She
felt his cool skin, whilst not really feeling it at all. She tried to hold onto
his robes, but again found her fingers floating straight through them. Tears
welled up in her eyes once more.
She looked into James' face… he looked so at peace, yet so determined… his hand was still gripped tightly around his wand as he had been when he had died. Lily lost all sense of time as she sat with him, continuing to stroke his face softly.
A large figure in the flames started to fight his way towards them, unknown to Lily. She looked up as she heard a gruff voice and small sobs, to find that Hagrid had returned for James. She bent back as Hagrid leant down to lift James from the floor with a heavy heart. He then began to make his way out of the house, where Lily followed him to see James' body laid down beside hers.
Immortality
I make my journey through eternity
I keep the memory of you and me inside
On her return outside, she saw the bundle of robes that was her baby being strapped to Sirius' motorbike. She ran over to him, desperate to be with him as Sirius and Hagrid discussed something from behind her. She whispered to him softly, singing a small lullaby to him. Time was lost once more as she stood with him, peaceful in his company.
But then Hagrid returned, clambering onto the bike. She tried to reach onto it herself, but all she could do was grasp at thin air. She clung to her baby desperately as the bike began to draw away, but all that was left was the shape of him in her arms. Lily now realized; she couldn't stay with him.
All she could stay with was his memory… her memory. Maybe she could be there for him when he was older, but for now at least, he had to grow up on his own. All it would do if she stayed with him was destroy her; her longing to be a mother to him lying unfulfilled in front of her.
Fulfill your destiny,
Is there within the child,
My storm will never end,
My fate is on the wind,
The king of hearts, the joker's wild,
But we don't say goodbye,
We don't say goodbye,
I'll make them all remember me
She watched with a heavy heart as the bike drew away from her, and was swallowed by the night's sky. She turned to see Sirius on the floor beside her body, tears falling down his cheeks silently. The fire of the house was roaring now, and she shut her eyes as the top level began to collapse.
Looking up the hill to the village that loomed above them, she could see flashing lights as Muggles began to swarm to the area. Sirius must have noticed too, for he stood up quickly and watched them for a moment. Then, as soon as they got to a distance where they could see him, he apparated from the lawn and to somewhere completely unknown to Lily.
As the Muggles arrived at the scene, the previously silent area – bar the roars of the flames – was suddenly filled with commotion, and Lily knew she had to get out. She ran to the small woods beside the house, hiding herself in the trees, despite her knowing that nobody could see her anyway. She had no control of her fate anymore; it was flying in the wind for all she knew. Nothing was planned for her… she had all of eternity to live, and yet all of eternity to die.
Tears again fell down her cheeks as she turned her thoughts to Harry, and what would happen to him. Sirius could look after him, surely. But then… why did Hagrid take him away from him? Panic set in again for her fears for her child's upbringing… as long as he was as far away from her dreaded sister, nothing would matter. As long as he had the normal, magical upbringing that he deserved, she knew that she could rest in peace.
She closed her eyes as she realized that Harry's fate was also unwritten, and how both of their futures seemed uncertain.
'Cos I have found a dream that must come true,
Every ounce of me must see it through,
But you are my only
I'm sorry I don't have a role for love to play,
Hand over my heart I'll find my way,
I will make them give to me
Lily looked up at the dark sky, spotting a star that shone exceptionally bright to all of the others. As she looked, it seemed to almost wink at her, making her stop her thoughts in shock.
"J… James?" She whispered; she was a firm believer that people lived on from death, in whatever way that was.
The star twinkled back at her in return, and a smile stretched across her face
in her relief. Suddenly she was filled with a new hope for herself and Harry…
though they were both alone, she knew that she could live on for him. Even
though she had no physical help for him; even though there was no way her love
for him could be put across; she could still be there for him. She would find a
way, whatever it was, and be there for him.
She would never say goodbye.
Immortality
There is a vision and a fire in me
I keep the memory of you and me, inside
And we don't say goodbye
We don't say goodbye
With all my love for you
And what else we may do
We don't say, goodbye…
A/N: I hope you enjoyed this!! It's a pretty sad read, but I know that I at least enjoyed writing it. It's a new thing for me as well – I've never tried to write a songfic before. ^^
Please review!