DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything, the setting and most of the characters
are the property of that gorgeous author J.K. Rowling. It would be pretty
pointless to sue me because I'm not profiting from this in any way other
than as writing practice and the enjoyment I get from telling the story.
The Runic Invocation is from The Book of Runes by Ralph H. Blum, as is most
of my information on divination with Runes.
Self Deprecating Statement: I know it's late, and it probably sucks too, I've been busy and I'm sorry.
James was in a bit of a fix. Now that Lily had so effortlessly discovered Remus' secret, he had absolutely no excuse to keep his identity as Prongs hidden. In fact, it was probably a stupid idea to try, because Lily was having consistently more accurate and frequent visions. She also wasn't stupid, and probably already knew that the Marauders did something to ease Mooney's transformations. It was only a matter of time until she found out that he was the stag she confessed her secrets to.
This, of course, was exactly the problem. James knew he had been violating her trust and her privacy the entire time he had been meeting her as Prongs, and he had absolutely no excuse that she would possibly accept. He wanted to tell her, but he also wanted to be selfish. He wanted to keep his position as Lily's confidant until he was absolutely positive that she loved him and would be with him even when he told her. The trouble was; he also knew exactly how much he was risking by lying to her.
James let days slip by without telling her, and after each day it grew more difficult. On Saturday, he didn't wake to find her in his bed as he was practically accustomed to, although she did sprint down to the common room in her pajamas to give him a hug the second she awoke. It was a slow process, but through that week her fear dissipated and she no longer needed him as desperately. On Wednesday, she apparently felt so much better that she snuck out to the Forbidden Forest to see Prongs. James tried to meet her as close to the building as he could without arousing suspicion, hoping that she trusted Prongs as much as she trusted James.
"I think James suspects something," Lily stated without preamble as she fed the stag his first apple. "I couldn't come out here sooner because I was cursed with fear, and the Forbidden Forest can be a scary place. Of course I'm hoping that you'll protect me, and if I weren't cursed, I'd be fearless because I trust you. I am cursed, though, and the only time I'm not choking down trembles is when James Potter is next to me.
"He knows this, which is why I suspect he knows something is up. To be perfectly honest, I'm not even positive I'm not in love with him anymore. There is that little nagging doubt in the back of my head; a voice that whispers 'If you didn't love him, why would you trust him so much?' and I don't know what to do about that voice."
Prongs nuzzled her sympathetically, begging for another apple. She got one out of her bag, feeling almost guilty, as though she was bribing the beast to listen to her troubles. "James has been really kind to me while I've needed him," Lily continued. "He was completely understanding when I had nightmares and needed to sneak into the boys' dorm just to wake up next to him. He'd also do little things, like show up at my Divination class to meet me on Friday or sitting alone with me to do homework. He is a great guy, and a cute boy. I have every reason to like him, even baring the fact that he is my soul mate and one of my closest friends, but I don't. I really don't think I do."
"Besides," Lily said suddenly after letting a moment of silence lapse, "it would hurt Amos. I don't want to do anything to hurt Amos, so I'm not going to ask James to the Ball. Do you hear me, Prongs? I'm just not going to."
Because Lily felt as though she was really talking aloud to herself, James always had a slightly difficult time understanding what she really meant when she was explaining things to Prongs. This was easy enough to get, however, James thought, snickering; all he had to do was ask her to the Ball.
Thursday morning, when Lily came sprinting into James' dormitory for her morning hug, he told her he had something he wanted to talk to her about and asked if she would wait for him before going to breakfast. Lily agreed with her famous grin, but after she left James got a good deal of cooing from Sirius.
"Finally going to ask her out," Remus asked, having been awake enough to witness the exchange.
"Of course he is," Sirius cooed, "he looooooves her!"
"Yes, I am, and yes I do," James stated factually as he pulled off his shirt to change into his school robes. "Wish me luck."
"Wow, I thought you were all joking," Peter said, flashing a brilliant smile. "Good for you, Prongs. Don't screw this up."
"Good luck," Remus echoed while Sirius pretended to cry, "My best friend is finally growing up!"
****
"You wanted to talk to me," Lily asked, waiting next to the bottom of the stairs.
"Yeah," James said, his mouth going dry and his cheeks flushing slightly. "It has been more than half an hour and I was wondering if you had a date to the Ball."
"No," Lily said slowly, "technically there are still only twenty-four people who know about it. Although I guess you told the Marauders because Elizabeth was searching catalogues for dress robes yesterday."
"I did," James said, unwilling to let the subject change so easily. "Do you have anyone in mind that you would like to go with?"
Again, Lily replied very slowly, "No, not really. I am probably just going to go with the first interesting guy that asks me."
"Am I interesting," James asked, swallowing the last part of the word and not daring to breathe lest the sentence fall from its hook in the air and smash into a million pieces on the floor under Lily's heel.
"Yes," Lily said softly and very hesitantly.
"Will you go to the Ball with me, Lily Evans?"
"Yes," Lily whispered, surprising herself. "I mean," she interjected quickly, "are you sure you wouldn't rather go with a real girl, though? Not one of your friends, I mean, but someone you were interested in?" Lily spoke rapidly, until she realized she was babbling and stopped abruptly.
James hardly knew what to say to that, his only option was the truth. "I was hoping, that maybe it would be okay for me to be interested in you, not just as one of my friends. I think you are a real girl, Lily."
Lily blushed and wasn't able to speak for a minute. When she managed to get a word out, it was not the gentle let down she was trying to formulate in her frazzled mind. "Okay," she whispered. Then she abruptly grabbed her book bag and sprinted to the Great Hall for breakfast, leaving James to sigh over her acceptance and to chuckle over the absurdity of it.
Lily wasn't able to look James in the eye without blushing profusely until Friday, the day before the Christmas Holidays started, when Professor Dumbledore announced the Ball to the whole school. The time elapsed made no difference, but after being forced to say "I'm sorry, I've already agreed to go with James" fifty or so times in one day, she learned to get used to the idea.
She had, of course, emptied all of her feelings on this matter out to Prongs. He was sympathetic, although the poor stag might have been confused. Lily's emotions ranged from wanting to kiss James Potter's adorably kissable lips and tell him she loved him to wishing he'd never asked her to go with him so she wouldn't hurt him when she told him she felt nothing more than platonic love for him, wonderful boy though he was. Prongs noted joyfully that the girl seemed to feel far more for him now than she ever had before.
Friday night, after a long day of turning down offers, Lily went to sleep, anticipating being practically alone in Gryffindor Tower over the holidays, even though she would be staying to work and wouldn't get to see her mother and sister on Christmas. Her mother was a little disappointed, but she knew that everyone would be safer if Lily stayed on at Hogwarts. Lily did not hide the fact that muggle-born witches were being persecuted and killed, although it made her mother very nervous. Petunia, Lily's sister, was still angry with Lily for not saving their father with her magic. Lily wasn't exactly blamed by her sibling, but things were tense between them, and she knew Petunia would pretend to be glad not to see her sister.
In the morning, Lily awoke to an empty room and she challenged herself to see how long she could stay in bed before running to seek out James. Luckily, the Head Boy had also decided to stick around and help her finish up the plans for the Ball. Almost twenty minutes passed in the warm morning sunlight before she sprang out of bed and sprinted through Gryffindor Tower seeking him. She did not find him in his room and she began to panic, asking everyone where he was, but no one had seen James yet that morning. All of the other Marauders had returned home for the break, and Lily began to wonder frantically if James had joined them and not mentioned anything to her when the boy came through the portrait hole with a tray of food.
When he saw Lily sprinting toward him with a look of intense relief on her face, he put the tray down and hugged her tightly. "Sorry," he whispered. "I'm very sorry. I went to get you some breakfast, but I guess I woke up later than I thought. See, I got you some eggs from the house elves." Lily sighed and smiled.
"As long as you didn't go home for the break," Lily said, pulling away from him upon remembering that things were slightly awkward between them at the moment.
"You thought I'd leave you here," James exclaimed in surprise.
"Well, not as such, but I was nervous and wondered if your mum had owled you late last night or something demanding your presence for Christmas in only the way that a mother can."
"You needn't have worried about that," James said, and Lily caught the glimmer of a tear in his eye.
"What is wrong," Lily asked.
"Nothing," he replied, feeling guilty for knowing all of her secrets yet not revealing any of his own. "Did I get you this breakfast for nothing, or are you going to go back upstairs and pretend to be asleep so I can pretend to be charming?"
Lily laughed and ran back up to the girls' dormitory, flopping into her bed and arranging the covers. James came in quietly and she snapped her eyes shut. After he opened the curtains on the window, he whispered close to her ear, "Good morning, Sunshine."
Lily made her eyes flutter slowly open, and she pretended to look sleepily at him. "Good morning yourself," she said, pretending to stifle a yawn. He really stifled a laugh as he presented her with a tray containing two breakfasts of eggs, toast and bacon along with a pitcher of pumpkin juice.
"If the lady cares to break her fast, I hope this will suffice," he said, bowing.
"That looks great," Lily said, sitting up. "Did I miss breakfast or did you just decide to go to the house elves," she asked, knowing the answer as well as he did.
James sat down on her bed and put the tray between them. "I went to the house elves," he answered. "I thought that I could apologize for whatever it is that I did to make you avoid me when you didn't need my presence recently."
"Oh," Lily said blushing. "Um, I, uh," she caught herself, waited a moment, then spoke, avoiding his eyes. "I am the one who should apologize. I've just felt a little awkward since you asked me out. I'm not entirely sure how to act around you." Lily took a bite of her eggs calmly. "These are delicious," she stated, attempting to change the subject.
"I'm glad," he said, then without pause returned to the subject. "Act however you want to act around me; I hope we won't stop being friends just because I asked you out. If you want to, we can pretend it never happened."
Lily looked into his eyes immediately and she saw a nervous half smile on his lips. "No," she said, then quickly looked away. "No, I don't want to pretend it never happened." If she'd been able to look at him, she would have seen what Sirius and Remus had long dubbed the "Sappy Lily Grin" spread across his face. She would have seen how much cuter he looked when his face was lit by pure joy, but as she couldn't look at his face, she only stared intently at his warm hand that had somehow found its way on top of hers.
Then she remembered something. "I had a really odd dream last night. I think it was a vision, but I'm not sure what it was a vision of. Would you mind if I bounced it off you? Professor Metoki won't be around for the break, her sister's husband was killed recently and she needs family around. I really just need to hear myself explain it, but I won't see Prongs until this evening."
"Of course I don't mind," James said, taking a bite of his toast with the hand that wasn't holding Lily's.
"I dreamed that I was riding Prongs through a meadow. He was running faster than anything I'd ever experienced and I was having the time of my life, everything was so new and amazing. I guess that's all I can say, it was just, amazing." If Lily looked up, she would have seen James blush beet red. "Then, suddenly, we'd come to the edge of a cliff, and we had to stop. My mother was there and I got off of Prongs to talk with her. She just smiled sadly at me, though, and then she fell over the side of the cliff." Lily looked at James, who'd managed to stop blushing.
"Is that all," he asked.
"Yes," Lily replied. "Now that I've said it out loud, I seriously fear it to be a death omen, although I still don't understand the bit about Prongs. I think that stag is going to remain a mysterious factor in my visions, although I hope I can figure him out."
James looked down and took a big bite of his breakfast. Now, he thought, I should tell her now, but he didn't. Instead he asked, "Will you warn her?"
"Of course I'll warn her, but I don't have any specifics to warn her about. I don't know when, where or what will kill her. I really doubt it will be a result of her falling off of a cliff. I'll owl her immediately to tell her to be careful and ask if she wants me home, though."
"You don't know that going home could help," James reminded her. "Divination is remarkably complicated; maybe she'll be safe as long as you don't act on your vision. Remember, you moved to go to her just as she died."
"That's true," Lily said slowly. "At the same time, however, she looked like she knew she was dying."
"Well, I'm not even taking the class," James said jovially breaking the heavy mood, "so I don't really have any advice. Maybe you could tell Dumbledore?"
"He has other things to worry about," Lily said with a small smile. "One life really doesn't mean much in these times."
"I'm sure Dumbledore would disagree," James said strongly. "One life will always matter to him, and to any truly good wizard."
"Of course," Lily agreed, but she did not go to see Dumbledore about her vision. Lily wrote her mother shortly after they finished eating, and she got little work done while she waited impatiently for a response and a confirmation of her wellbeing. She received a letter just after lunch telling her not to worry so much, but that Mrs. Evans would not take her life into her hands for any foolish reasons. Lily was forced to be satisfied with this response, so she continued her work happily through the day.
Lily saw Prongs that evening and they stood together just outside of the Forbidden Forest with Lily talking and Prongs feeding. "I think I'm a bit of a fool," Lily stated softly to her confidant. "I'm really glad that you are my only witness, Prongs. I suddenly have the feeling that I am in love with James Potter, that I have been for quite a while, and maybe that I have been ever since first year. We had a good talk this morning, I still blushed at pretty much every other sentence, but it was not nearly as awkward as things have been since he asked me out. I realized that just sitting there, eating eggs with him, made me happy. I was always comfortable sitting silently with Amos, but it never made me happy the way I've always felt around James. He just, I don't know, makes things better."
Lily paused for a moment, stroking Prongs gently. "I am pretty sure I'm not making any sense. I've always felt a little happier around James. When we talk or sit together, my day just gets a little brighter. I don't know if that is love, but my separate realization today is that I love James Potter. The confusion only comes in when I wonder if I feel doubly euphoric because I've admitted this to myself or if this is an entirely fresh feeling." Lily sighed and handed the stag another apple. "I love James Potter," she said, trying out the words. They tasted wonderfully.
"I'm in no way ready to tell him that," she laughed self-consciously, "but I'm in love with him." Prongs looked a little bashful as he finished his apple. "You're done hanging around with me, then?" Lily pretended to pout. "Go on then," she laughed, and the stag walked away from her a little ways before springing into a bouncing gallop.
The next morning, Lily was awakened by a big dark hawk that she'd never seen before. It was screeching into her ear, and she noticed it had a letter tied to its leg. She undid it, causing the bird to scratch her before leaving. Her hand was bleeding, but she didn't really want to curse a defenseless animal, so she just swore silently to herself and did a healing charm on her palm. She then opened the letter.
Dearest Lily Evans,
I do not regret to inform you that your muggle mother is recently deceased. I killed her approximately four minutes before sitting down to write this letter. I have left your sister alive, for which you should be thankful. I will not, however, hesitate to kill her and any others I feel are close to you if I do not receive prompt evidence that you are willing to follow me. I am well aware that you are a high caliber seer, perhaps the greatest in recent generations, and I would be remiss if I did not seek out such a talent, even if it is possessed by a muggle born witch.
Do keep in mind that while I would very much like to have your talent in my army, I by no means need it. I will not beg you, and you will be lucky if I ask twice. If you do not join me, you will be slaughtered with the rest of the mudblood filth. You have until your Yule Ball to come to a decision, have a lovely holiday.
Sincerely, Lord Voldemort
Lily wordlessly rose, and exited her dorm. Still in her pajamas, she walked, as if in a dream, through the hallways of Hogwarts. She gave the password mindlessly to the gargoyle that guarded Dumbledore's office and she entered, sitting at a chair in front of his desk, patiently waiting for him to enter. After a time, it could have been a minute or an hour as far as Lily knew, he entered, looking mildly surprised to find her there.
"Miss Evans, this is an unexpected pleasure, did an idea strike you for the Yule Ball?" When she turned at the sound of his voice, he suddenly became grave. "Whatever is the matter?"
"I think someone has played a horrible joke on me, Professor," Lily said, handing him the letter. "That was delivered to me by a black hawk this morning." Lily still didn't seem to be affected, but Dumbledore took the letter and perused it, his face grave.
"This is his hand," Dumbledore said softly and not unkindly. "This was written by Voldemort. He is obviously trying to recruit you, but by no means despair your mother's life, I would have received a ministry letter telling me of it if she were killed."
"I had a vision of her death," Lily said slowly, still in that same dreamy tone. "I wrote her a letter to warn her, but what warning could I give to a muggle woman to keep her safe from the dark lord. And now Petty is next, I can't let him hurt her, not until we get over the fight. It will be worse now, now that mum is dead, too. I wonder if he knew I was such a great seer when he tried to kill me, or maybe they were just trying to act under their own initiative, maybe they thought they'd score some brownie points by killing the mudblood Head Girl." Lily turned her face to the headmaster. "My mother is dead," she said certainly.
At that moment, a barn owl swooped into the office and dropped a letter onto the headmaster's desk. He opened it slowly, read it carefully, then he looked up at Lily, met her eyes, and nodded. She burst into silent tears, shaking uncontrollably. "I'm very sorry," Dumbledore said, taking her by her shoulders and walking with her back to her common room where she could find friends to ease her pain. "I will make sure the Ministry puts your sister under protection. Nothing will happen to Petunia."
"Thank you, Professor," Lily said, her voice quivering. "What do you think I should do about his deadline?"
"Ignore it," Dumbledore stated firmly. "Never concede to evil. That must be our motto in these dark times. If you joined him, however unwillingly, he would break you easily and with your aid added to his already considerable forces, he would kill many, possibly even those you joined to protect."
Lily turned to him, "She died for me. I cannot bear it if another suffers the same fate."
"I assure you, Lily, I could not bear it either. None of my students deserve to live under his reign of terror. I only pray that we will find a way to end it." Dumbledore left her at the portrait of the fat lady, and she went in to return to her room and bemoan the loss of her mother and the fate of the world.
James found her there not much later. "Hey, I already checked in here, I must have missed you at breakfast," he said, seeing her sitting on her bed, facing the wall. He had, of course, entered without knocking. She tuned to face him and the smile died on his lips. She looked even worse than the day she'd done the second soul mate spell. "What's wrong," he asked, sitting next to her.
"Voldemort killed mum to get me to join him," she sobbed simply, causing a fresh torrent of tears to rain down her cheeks. He grabbed her in both arms and held her tightly, not saying anything. She allowed herself to be held, soaking his shirt with a salt lake. He in no way understood what she was talking about, but he understood that her mother was dead, and he tried his best to comfort her.
"You know, I've only told the Marauders this," he said, after a few minutes of holding her, "but my mum and dad were killed by him too. During the summer before Fifth Year, they died while I was at Sirius' house."
"James," Lily exclaimed, forgetting her tears for a minute. "How could I have not known that?"
"I sort of meant to tell everyone eventually. It was just a shock at first, flying home and seeing the Dark Mark just floating there. I asked the Marauders not to tell anyone, to let me tell when I was ready, and I guess I've just never been ready. You've already lost your dad, so I can't tell you that it'll get better with time, you know that's a load of blarney." Lily started to cry again, but she didn't look away from him. "I will tell you that I'm going to be the one to kill Voldemort, and you can help me." Lily laughed slightly through her tears and buried her head against his shoulder again.
"He wants me to See for him," she choked. "I'd rather do it for you, though." James smiled and slowly stroked her hair while she cried until she had no more tears.
The next day was Christmas Eve. As an early present, Lily received a ministry letter telling her it would be far too dangerous for her to go to her mother's funeral. Petunia would not be attending either. This set Lily off crying again, which in turn kept Gryffindor Tower from feeling very Christmas-y.
Lily wouldn't leave her dorm room. She wasn't close with anyone other than James who'd stayed back, so he was the only person she would, or wanted to, see. She cried on his shoulder, ate a little of the food he brought up, and showed him pictures, both wizard and muggle, of her mother and father. He tried to distract her on occasion with a detail for the ball or a charms question, but mostly, he just let her mourn her parents.
On Christmas morning, therefore, James was utterly shocked when a ball of red headed flame pounced on his stomach crying "Presents!" like a hawk tearing from the sky onto an unsuspecting rodent.
"Happy Christmas to you to, Lily," he muttered sitting up with a grunt.
"Yeah, yeah," she said smiling, then proceeded to grab his hand and yank him forcibly out of bed, running down to the common room without releasing him. There were other Gryffindors chatting happily and opening their gifts about the common room, and Lily and James crawled together under the enormous tree to find the ones marked for them.
"Here's one for you James, I think it's from Sirius," Lily said, handing him the neatly wrapped present. "Ooooh," she said, finding one of her own, "It's from Peter and it's heavy!"
She started to unwrap the box, but James snatched it from her and said, "Uh, maybe you don't want to open this just yet." Lily blinked up at him a hint of a tear and a question in her eyes and he realized he'd just made things a thousand times worse. "Never mind, here you go. Tear away." Lily took it, but she was a little subdued as she opened it.
It was the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen. It was a perfectly carved golden set of runes for Divination. They were beautifully illuminated and she could tell they'd been hand made by someone who knew what they were doing; they were probably spelled for increased accuracy as well. She fingered the rune of fate for a few moments, noting her own reflection in the perfectly polished surface, then she put it back into its bag and smiled at James.
"Remind me to thank him, this is a beautiful gift," she said, and James sighed with relief. Lily was a little nervous about her prospects as a seer; he was glad she was not blaming Divination for her mother's demise.
"He said you'd be starting Runes in your class after the holiday, he thought you'd like to have your own set," James returned softly.
"He was right," Lily said, smiling broadly. "Now you, sir, haven't opened a single gift yet!"
Presents were torn through at a remarkable rate. Books, Quidditch balls, candy, broom servicing equipment, and jewelry seemed to have fallen under the tree like the dead dry needles. Lily's tears came for a moment when she received a present from her mother, obviously sent a little early. It was a beautiful book on protection spells and curse blocking with a note that said Mrs. Evans hoped her daughter was always safe in the wizarding world.
From Lily, James received a rather interesting pocket watch. At least, it interested James because it looked like a simple muggle one, although it was very handsome. He looked at her slightly confused, and she beckoned him closer, whispering an explanation in his ear. "I got it in Knockturn Alley. It isn't quite a time turner, it can only handle five minutes at the most, and you can't be in two places at once, you're still you, exactly where you were five minutes ago or however many seconds you set yourself back. It will, of course, always keep the correct time. You should be careful with it, though, as it is rather against Ministry regulations to have one."
James blinked at Lily. She never even broke school rules, and she was giving him an illegal pocket watch for Christmas? "I thought you'd like it," she said nervously.
"Like it, I love it," he exclaimed, kissing her cheek and throwing his arms around her, causing her to blush furiously and act like a furnace for that part of the common room. "Open mine," he insisted, handing her a delicately wrapped box.
Lily slowly slid the shining wrapping paper off the square cherry-wood box. A beautiful running unicorn shied on the lid and galloped gracefully, so smoothly that Lily could hardly recall that it was a moving carving, and not a photograph, in spite of the lack of color. She tilted the lid back on its golden hinges and peered into the blue velvet lined box. Inside was a milky white pearl only a little smaller than her crystal ball. She looked to James.
"Go on, take it out and hold it," he suggested, a slight smile on his face. Lily did as he suggested, and immediately the depths started swirling. "I know you sometimes lose thoughts like I do; you'll get a good idea and forget to write it down, and then a minute later you won't know what the idea was. This is a Contemplator, it's a little like a cross between a Rememberall and a Pensive. It will show you those thoughts you can't find, of course it has a bit of a fault. If there is something you're trying desperately to not think of, or there is something deeply disturbing your thoughts, it will be overloaded and just show that."
"Cosmic," Lily whispered, as the Contemplator showed a beautiful gauzy curtain design for the decorations of the Great Hall that had occurred to Lily just as she was falling asleep the night before. Lily carefully replaced the item in its box, then leapt at James hugging him tightly. "Thanks, Jamie!" He smiled, and returned the hug.
When presents were all unwrapped, they had breakfast, after which they played chess and Exploding Snap with the other muggle born Gryffindors who decided to stay back. Lily wanted to do some work, but James was dead set against it during the holiday, so they simply spent the entire time playing. At dinner, they pulled wizard crackers and sang Christmas carols. Lily had to leave the table for a little while to cry, but she returned after a bit and managed to ignore the looks of sympathy that everyone shot her.
It is safe to say, that by the end of the holidays when the rest of Lily's friends returned, she was much closer to James. Ironically, they still hadn't kissed. Over the break there was more than one moment where a kiss could have come into being, but it never seemed to happen. Not that Lily necessarily objected; she didn't need a boyfriend or a make-out buddy right now; she needed James, her friend.
Lily asked James to tell people about her mother, and he complied with her wishes. As Lily herself did not broach the subject, however, everyone was sitting awkwardly around the common room. Lily couldn't take it anymore. "Sirius," she said perkily, "let me tell you your future!" She dropped her book, and bounced over to where he was sitting uncomfortably and extended a hand to him.
"Um, okay," he said, taking the hand. Lily sat him in a comfortable chair and settled herself across from him, placing her crystal ball in between them. She placed her hands on the orb and concentrated, rubbing the surface and peering into its depths.
The fog within the crystal slowly condensed and took shape, making Lily gasp. It was a big, black animal, and as the image grew clearer, she had no choice but to acknowledge the only possible omen that it could be. "Oh my God, Sirius, you have the Grim!" Her eyes widened and she searched the depths frantically for other omens that could give her details.
"Erm, isn't that the big black dog," Sirius asked uncomfortably.
"Yes, now please, concentrate; maybe I can get enough to help you!" Lily was frantic, but all she saw in the fog was the dog. As her mind became more hectic, the fog took over, and there was nothing more within the crystal. "Shit," she exclaimed, "I lost it!"
"That's okay," Sirius said, shifting his weight. "I don't believe that load of hooey anyhow. Maybe it wasn't a Grim, maybe it was just Snuffles a lovable stray that I'll meet in Hogsmead the next time I go." Lily looked up at him, a tear in her eye.
"My mum didn't take warning either, Sirius; I'm going to do some serious Divination for you. James, would you go find some tea for us? I'm going up to my room to get my new Runes. I know we technically haven't started with them yet, but they'll give us the most detailed picture of anything." James nodded to her, his throat dry, knowing that she was concerned for nothing, but unable to tell her the truth. Acknowledging his own cowardice, he went off to the kitchens to fetch a pot of tea.
Lily returned with the runes before James had the tea, so she decided to start with those. She made Sirius hold the runes for a little while as she said the invocation over them, making him repeat her words:
"God within me, God without, How shall I ever be in doubt? There is no place where I may go And not there see God's face, not know I am God's vision and God's ears. So through the harvest of my years I am the Sower and the Sown,
God's Self unfolding and God's own."
Lily then unfolded and spread her rune cloth upon the table where the crystal ball had stood a few minutes before. She decided to begin with a simple, three rune reading, because she was not yet comfortable with them. Lily placed her hands over Sirius' and asked the question "How may we keep Sirius from death?" She drew three runes from the bag he held and placed them face down from left to right.
Lily turned over the first Rune, the overview, and let out a sigh of relief. It was Algiz, the Rune of Protection, and it was not reversed. It did not suggest that he needed caution, but that he was safe. She told him this, and he smiled. She then moved onto the second Rune, in the position of the challenge. The rune Mannaz, the rune of self, was reversed in this position. Lily did not fully understand what it meant, but she postulated hopefully that Sirius did not need to be worried about himself and his own safety. This was a good reading and it helped to put her at ease. She turned over the course of action. It was Nauthiz, the Rune of Constraint and Pain. What was to come, to keep Sirius safe from death, would not be without pain for him, but Lily was still glad. It seemed that Sirius would be safe.
She hugged him wordlessly after she finished the reading, and James entered the common room, fashionably late, with the pot of tea and several cups. "Done already," he asked.
"Yep," Lily said, blinking back tears. "He's safe. He's not going to die. I was wrong, and maybe the Grim really was just Snuffles the lovable stray."
James sat down in Lily's chair and poured the tea. "I think we could all use some tea after that scare anyway," he said comfortingly, "even if I did pick it up for nothing."
The group who had been attentively watching Lily do the reading settled back with their tea. The miasma had broken and everyone chatted lazily about the classes they would be attending the next day.
Self Deprecating Statement: I know it's late, and it probably sucks too, I've been busy and I'm sorry.
James was in a bit of a fix. Now that Lily had so effortlessly discovered Remus' secret, he had absolutely no excuse to keep his identity as Prongs hidden. In fact, it was probably a stupid idea to try, because Lily was having consistently more accurate and frequent visions. She also wasn't stupid, and probably already knew that the Marauders did something to ease Mooney's transformations. It was only a matter of time until she found out that he was the stag she confessed her secrets to.
This, of course, was exactly the problem. James knew he had been violating her trust and her privacy the entire time he had been meeting her as Prongs, and he had absolutely no excuse that she would possibly accept. He wanted to tell her, but he also wanted to be selfish. He wanted to keep his position as Lily's confidant until he was absolutely positive that she loved him and would be with him even when he told her. The trouble was; he also knew exactly how much he was risking by lying to her.
James let days slip by without telling her, and after each day it grew more difficult. On Saturday, he didn't wake to find her in his bed as he was practically accustomed to, although she did sprint down to the common room in her pajamas to give him a hug the second she awoke. It was a slow process, but through that week her fear dissipated and she no longer needed him as desperately. On Wednesday, she apparently felt so much better that she snuck out to the Forbidden Forest to see Prongs. James tried to meet her as close to the building as he could without arousing suspicion, hoping that she trusted Prongs as much as she trusted James.
"I think James suspects something," Lily stated without preamble as she fed the stag his first apple. "I couldn't come out here sooner because I was cursed with fear, and the Forbidden Forest can be a scary place. Of course I'm hoping that you'll protect me, and if I weren't cursed, I'd be fearless because I trust you. I am cursed, though, and the only time I'm not choking down trembles is when James Potter is next to me.
"He knows this, which is why I suspect he knows something is up. To be perfectly honest, I'm not even positive I'm not in love with him anymore. There is that little nagging doubt in the back of my head; a voice that whispers 'If you didn't love him, why would you trust him so much?' and I don't know what to do about that voice."
Prongs nuzzled her sympathetically, begging for another apple. She got one out of her bag, feeling almost guilty, as though she was bribing the beast to listen to her troubles. "James has been really kind to me while I've needed him," Lily continued. "He was completely understanding when I had nightmares and needed to sneak into the boys' dorm just to wake up next to him. He'd also do little things, like show up at my Divination class to meet me on Friday or sitting alone with me to do homework. He is a great guy, and a cute boy. I have every reason to like him, even baring the fact that he is my soul mate and one of my closest friends, but I don't. I really don't think I do."
"Besides," Lily said suddenly after letting a moment of silence lapse, "it would hurt Amos. I don't want to do anything to hurt Amos, so I'm not going to ask James to the Ball. Do you hear me, Prongs? I'm just not going to."
Because Lily felt as though she was really talking aloud to herself, James always had a slightly difficult time understanding what she really meant when she was explaining things to Prongs. This was easy enough to get, however, James thought, snickering; all he had to do was ask her to the Ball.
Thursday morning, when Lily came sprinting into James' dormitory for her morning hug, he told her he had something he wanted to talk to her about and asked if she would wait for him before going to breakfast. Lily agreed with her famous grin, but after she left James got a good deal of cooing from Sirius.
"Finally going to ask her out," Remus asked, having been awake enough to witness the exchange.
"Of course he is," Sirius cooed, "he looooooves her!"
"Yes, I am, and yes I do," James stated factually as he pulled off his shirt to change into his school robes. "Wish me luck."
"Wow, I thought you were all joking," Peter said, flashing a brilliant smile. "Good for you, Prongs. Don't screw this up."
"Good luck," Remus echoed while Sirius pretended to cry, "My best friend is finally growing up!"
****
"You wanted to talk to me," Lily asked, waiting next to the bottom of the stairs.
"Yeah," James said, his mouth going dry and his cheeks flushing slightly. "It has been more than half an hour and I was wondering if you had a date to the Ball."
"No," Lily said slowly, "technically there are still only twenty-four people who know about it. Although I guess you told the Marauders because Elizabeth was searching catalogues for dress robes yesterday."
"I did," James said, unwilling to let the subject change so easily. "Do you have anyone in mind that you would like to go with?"
Again, Lily replied very slowly, "No, not really. I am probably just going to go with the first interesting guy that asks me."
"Am I interesting," James asked, swallowing the last part of the word and not daring to breathe lest the sentence fall from its hook in the air and smash into a million pieces on the floor under Lily's heel.
"Yes," Lily said softly and very hesitantly.
"Will you go to the Ball with me, Lily Evans?"
"Yes," Lily whispered, surprising herself. "I mean," she interjected quickly, "are you sure you wouldn't rather go with a real girl, though? Not one of your friends, I mean, but someone you were interested in?" Lily spoke rapidly, until she realized she was babbling and stopped abruptly.
James hardly knew what to say to that, his only option was the truth. "I was hoping, that maybe it would be okay for me to be interested in you, not just as one of my friends. I think you are a real girl, Lily."
Lily blushed and wasn't able to speak for a minute. When she managed to get a word out, it was not the gentle let down she was trying to formulate in her frazzled mind. "Okay," she whispered. Then she abruptly grabbed her book bag and sprinted to the Great Hall for breakfast, leaving James to sigh over her acceptance and to chuckle over the absurdity of it.
Lily wasn't able to look James in the eye without blushing profusely until Friday, the day before the Christmas Holidays started, when Professor Dumbledore announced the Ball to the whole school. The time elapsed made no difference, but after being forced to say "I'm sorry, I've already agreed to go with James" fifty or so times in one day, she learned to get used to the idea.
She had, of course, emptied all of her feelings on this matter out to Prongs. He was sympathetic, although the poor stag might have been confused. Lily's emotions ranged from wanting to kiss James Potter's adorably kissable lips and tell him she loved him to wishing he'd never asked her to go with him so she wouldn't hurt him when she told him she felt nothing more than platonic love for him, wonderful boy though he was. Prongs noted joyfully that the girl seemed to feel far more for him now than she ever had before.
Friday night, after a long day of turning down offers, Lily went to sleep, anticipating being practically alone in Gryffindor Tower over the holidays, even though she would be staying to work and wouldn't get to see her mother and sister on Christmas. Her mother was a little disappointed, but she knew that everyone would be safer if Lily stayed on at Hogwarts. Lily did not hide the fact that muggle-born witches were being persecuted and killed, although it made her mother very nervous. Petunia, Lily's sister, was still angry with Lily for not saving their father with her magic. Lily wasn't exactly blamed by her sibling, but things were tense between them, and she knew Petunia would pretend to be glad not to see her sister.
In the morning, Lily awoke to an empty room and she challenged herself to see how long she could stay in bed before running to seek out James. Luckily, the Head Boy had also decided to stick around and help her finish up the plans for the Ball. Almost twenty minutes passed in the warm morning sunlight before she sprang out of bed and sprinted through Gryffindor Tower seeking him. She did not find him in his room and she began to panic, asking everyone where he was, but no one had seen James yet that morning. All of the other Marauders had returned home for the break, and Lily began to wonder frantically if James had joined them and not mentioned anything to her when the boy came through the portrait hole with a tray of food.
When he saw Lily sprinting toward him with a look of intense relief on her face, he put the tray down and hugged her tightly. "Sorry," he whispered. "I'm very sorry. I went to get you some breakfast, but I guess I woke up later than I thought. See, I got you some eggs from the house elves." Lily sighed and smiled.
"As long as you didn't go home for the break," Lily said, pulling away from him upon remembering that things were slightly awkward between them at the moment.
"You thought I'd leave you here," James exclaimed in surprise.
"Well, not as such, but I was nervous and wondered if your mum had owled you late last night or something demanding your presence for Christmas in only the way that a mother can."
"You needn't have worried about that," James said, and Lily caught the glimmer of a tear in his eye.
"What is wrong," Lily asked.
"Nothing," he replied, feeling guilty for knowing all of her secrets yet not revealing any of his own. "Did I get you this breakfast for nothing, or are you going to go back upstairs and pretend to be asleep so I can pretend to be charming?"
Lily laughed and ran back up to the girls' dormitory, flopping into her bed and arranging the covers. James came in quietly and she snapped her eyes shut. After he opened the curtains on the window, he whispered close to her ear, "Good morning, Sunshine."
Lily made her eyes flutter slowly open, and she pretended to look sleepily at him. "Good morning yourself," she said, pretending to stifle a yawn. He really stifled a laugh as he presented her with a tray containing two breakfasts of eggs, toast and bacon along with a pitcher of pumpkin juice.
"If the lady cares to break her fast, I hope this will suffice," he said, bowing.
"That looks great," Lily said, sitting up. "Did I miss breakfast or did you just decide to go to the house elves," she asked, knowing the answer as well as he did.
James sat down on her bed and put the tray between them. "I went to the house elves," he answered. "I thought that I could apologize for whatever it is that I did to make you avoid me when you didn't need my presence recently."
"Oh," Lily said blushing. "Um, I, uh," she caught herself, waited a moment, then spoke, avoiding his eyes. "I am the one who should apologize. I've just felt a little awkward since you asked me out. I'm not entirely sure how to act around you." Lily took a bite of her eggs calmly. "These are delicious," she stated, attempting to change the subject.
"I'm glad," he said, then without pause returned to the subject. "Act however you want to act around me; I hope we won't stop being friends just because I asked you out. If you want to, we can pretend it never happened."
Lily looked into his eyes immediately and she saw a nervous half smile on his lips. "No," she said, then quickly looked away. "No, I don't want to pretend it never happened." If she'd been able to look at him, she would have seen what Sirius and Remus had long dubbed the "Sappy Lily Grin" spread across his face. She would have seen how much cuter he looked when his face was lit by pure joy, but as she couldn't look at his face, she only stared intently at his warm hand that had somehow found its way on top of hers.
Then she remembered something. "I had a really odd dream last night. I think it was a vision, but I'm not sure what it was a vision of. Would you mind if I bounced it off you? Professor Metoki won't be around for the break, her sister's husband was killed recently and she needs family around. I really just need to hear myself explain it, but I won't see Prongs until this evening."
"Of course I don't mind," James said, taking a bite of his toast with the hand that wasn't holding Lily's.
"I dreamed that I was riding Prongs through a meadow. He was running faster than anything I'd ever experienced and I was having the time of my life, everything was so new and amazing. I guess that's all I can say, it was just, amazing." If Lily looked up, she would have seen James blush beet red. "Then, suddenly, we'd come to the edge of a cliff, and we had to stop. My mother was there and I got off of Prongs to talk with her. She just smiled sadly at me, though, and then she fell over the side of the cliff." Lily looked at James, who'd managed to stop blushing.
"Is that all," he asked.
"Yes," Lily replied. "Now that I've said it out loud, I seriously fear it to be a death omen, although I still don't understand the bit about Prongs. I think that stag is going to remain a mysterious factor in my visions, although I hope I can figure him out."
James looked down and took a big bite of his breakfast. Now, he thought, I should tell her now, but he didn't. Instead he asked, "Will you warn her?"
"Of course I'll warn her, but I don't have any specifics to warn her about. I don't know when, where or what will kill her. I really doubt it will be a result of her falling off of a cliff. I'll owl her immediately to tell her to be careful and ask if she wants me home, though."
"You don't know that going home could help," James reminded her. "Divination is remarkably complicated; maybe she'll be safe as long as you don't act on your vision. Remember, you moved to go to her just as she died."
"That's true," Lily said slowly. "At the same time, however, she looked like she knew she was dying."
"Well, I'm not even taking the class," James said jovially breaking the heavy mood, "so I don't really have any advice. Maybe you could tell Dumbledore?"
"He has other things to worry about," Lily said with a small smile. "One life really doesn't mean much in these times."
"I'm sure Dumbledore would disagree," James said strongly. "One life will always matter to him, and to any truly good wizard."
"Of course," Lily agreed, but she did not go to see Dumbledore about her vision. Lily wrote her mother shortly after they finished eating, and she got little work done while she waited impatiently for a response and a confirmation of her wellbeing. She received a letter just after lunch telling her not to worry so much, but that Mrs. Evans would not take her life into her hands for any foolish reasons. Lily was forced to be satisfied with this response, so she continued her work happily through the day.
Lily saw Prongs that evening and they stood together just outside of the Forbidden Forest with Lily talking and Prongs feeding. "I think I'm a bit of a fool," Lily stated softly to her confidant. "I'm really glad that you are my only witness, Prongs. I suddenly have the feeling that I am in love with James Potter, that I have been for quite a while, and maybe that I have been ever since first year. We had a good talk this morning, I still blushed at pretty much every other sentence, but it was not nearly as awkward as things have been since he asked me out. I realized that just sitting there, eating eggs with him, made me happy. I was always comfortable sitting silently with Amos, but it never made me happy the way I've always felt around James. He just, I don't know, makes things better."
Lily paused for a moment, stroking Prongs gently. "I am pretty sure I'm not making any sense. I've always felt a little happier around James. When we talk or sit together, my day just gets a little brighter. I don't know if that is love, but my separate realization today is that I love James Potter. The confusion only comes in when I wonder if I feel doubly euphoric because I've admitted this to myself or if this is an entirely fresh feeling." Lily sighed and handed the stag another apple. "I love James Potter," she said, trying out the words. They tasted wonderfully.
"I'm in no way ready to tell him that," she laughed self-consciously, "but I'm in love with him." Prongs looked a little bashful as he finished his apple. "You're done hanging around with me, then?" Lily pretended to pout. "Go on then," she laughed, and the stag walked away from her a little ways before springing into a bouncing gallop.
The next morning, Lily was awakened by a big dark hawk that she'd never seen before. It was screeching into her ear, and she noticed it had a letter tied to its leg. She undid it, causing the bird to scratch her before leaving. Her hand was bleeding, but she didn't really want to curse a defenseless animal, so she just swore silently to herself and did a healing charm on her palm. She then opened the letter.
Dearest Lily Evans,
I do not regret to inform you that your muggle mother is recently deceased. I killed her approximately four minutes before sitting down to write this letter. I have left your sister alive, for which you should be thankful. I will not, however, hesitate to kill her and any others I feel are close to you if I do not receive prompt evidence that you are willing to follow me. I am well aware that you are a high caliber seer, perhaps the greatest in recent generations, and I would be remiss if I did not seek out such a talent, even if it is possessed by a muggle born witch.
Do keep in mind that while I would very much like to have your talent in my army, I by no means need it. I will not beg you, and you will be lucky if I ask twice. If you do not join me, you will be slaughtered with the rest of the mudblood filth. You have until your Yule Ball to come to a decision, have a lovely holiday.
Sincerely, Lord Voldemort
Lily wordlessly rose, and exited her dorm. Still in her pajamas, she walked, as if in a dream, through the hallways of Hogwarts. She gave the password mindlessly to the gargoyle that guarded Dumbledore's office and she entered, sitting at a chair in front of his desk, patiently waiting for him to enter. After a time, it could have been a minute or an hour as far as Lily knew, he entered, looking mildly surprised to find her there.
"Miss Evans, this is an unexpected pleasure, did an idea strike you for the Yule Ball?" When she turned at the sound of his voice, he suddenly became grave. "Whatever is the matter?"
"I think someone has played a horrible joke on me, Professor," Lily said, handing him the letter. "That was delivered to me by a black hawk this morning." Lily still didn't seem to be affected, but Dumbledore took the letter and perused it, his face grave.
"This is his hand," Dumbledore said softly and not unkindly. "This was written by Voldemort. He is obviously trying to recruit you, but by no means despair your mother's life, I would have received a ministry letter telling me of it if she were killed."
"I had a vision of her death," Lily said slowly, still in that same dreamy tone. "I wrote her a letter to warn her, but what warning could I give to a muggle woman to keep her safe from the dark lord. And now Petty is next, I can't let him hurt her, not until we get over the fight. It will be worse now, now that mum is dead, too. I wonder if he knew I was such a great seer when he tried to kill me, or maybe they were just trying to act under their own initiative, maybe they thought they'd score some brownie points by killing the mudblood Head Girl." Lily turned her face to the headmaster. "My mother is dead," she said certainly.
At that moment, a barn owl swooped into the office and dropped a letter onto the headmaster's desk. He opened it slowly, read it carefully, then he looked up at Lily, met her eyes, and nodded. She burst into silent tears, shaking uncontrollably. "I'm very sorry," Dumbledore said, taking her by her shoulders and walking with her back to her common room where she could find friends to ease her pain. "I will make sure the Ministry puts your sister under protection. Nothing will happen to Petunia."
"Thank you, Professor," Lily said, her voice quivering. "What do you think I should do about his deadline?"
"Ignore it," Dumbledore stated firmly. "Never concede to evil. That must be our motto in these dark times. If you joined him, however unwillingly, he would break you easily and with your aid added to his already considerable forces, he would kill many, possibly even those you joined to protect."
Lily turned to him, "She died for me. I cannot bear it if another suffers the same fate."
"I assure you, Lily, I could not bear it either. None of my students deserve to live under his reign of terror. I only pray that we will find a way to end it." Dumbledore left her at the portrait of the fat lady, and she went in to return to her room and bemoan the loss of her mother and the fate of the world.
James found her there not much later. "Hey, I already checked in here, I must have missed you at breakfast," he said, seeing her sitting on her bed, facing the wall. He had, of course, entered without knocking. She tuned to face him and the smile died on his lips. She looked even worse than the day she'd done the second soul mate spell. "What's wrong," he asked, sitting next to her.
"Voldemort killed mum to get me to join him," she sobbed simply, causing a fresh torrent of tears to rain down her cheeks. He grabbed her in both arms and held her tightly, not saying anything. She allowed herself to be held, soaking his shirt with a salt lake. He in no way understood what she was talking about, but he understood that her mother was dead, and he tried his best to comfort her.
"You know, I've only told the Marauders this," he said, after a few minutes of holding her, "but my mum and dad were killed by him too. During the summer before Fifth Year, they died while I was at Sirius' house."
"James," Lily exclaimed, forgetting her tears for a minute. "How could I have not known that?"
"I sort of meant to tell everyone eventually. It was just a shock at first, flying home and seeing the Dark Mark just floating there. I asked the Marauders not to tell anyone, to let me tell when I was ready, and I guess I've just never been ready. You've already lost your dad, so I can't tell you that it'll get better with time, you know that's a load of blarney." Lily started to cry again, but she didn't look away from him. "I will tell you that I'm going to be the one to kill Voldemort, and you can help me." Lily laughed slightly through her tears and buried her head against his shoulder again.
"He wants me to See for him," she choked. "I'd rather do it for you, though." James smiled and slowly stroked her hair while she cried until she had no more tears.
The next day was Christmas Eve. As an early present, Lily received a ministry letter telling her it would be far too dangerous for her to go to her mother's funeral. Petunia would not be attending either. This set Lily off crying again, which in turn kept Gryffindor Tower from feeling very Christmas-y.
Lily wouldn't leave her dorm room. She wasn't close with anyone other than James who'd stayed back, so he was the only person she would, or wanted to, see. She cried on his shoulder, ate a little of the food he brought up, and showed him pictures, both wizard and muggle, of her mother and father. He tried to distract her on occasion with a detail for the ball or a charms question, but mostly, he just let her mourn her parents.
On Christmas morning, therefore, James was utterly shocked when a ball of red headed flame pounced on his stomach crying "Presents!" like a hawk tearing from the sky onto an unsuspecting rodent.
"Happy Christmas to you to, Lily," he muttered sitting up with a grunt.
"Yeah, yeah," she said smiling, then proceeded to grab his hand and yank him forcibly out of bed, running down to the common room without releasing him. There were other Gryffindors chatting happily and opening their gifts about the common room, and Lily and James crawled together under the enormous tree to find the ones marked for them.
"Here's one for you James, I think it's from Sirius," Lily said, handing him the neatly wrapped present. "Ooooh," she said, finding one of her own, "It's from Peter and it's heavy!"
She started to unwrap the box, but James snatched it from her and said, "Uh, maybe you don't want to open this just yet." Lily blinked up at him a hint of a tear and a question in her eyes and he realized he'd just made things a thousand times worse. "Never mind, here you go. Tear away." Lily took it, but she was a little subdued as she opened it.
It was the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen. It was a perfectly carved golden set of runes for Divination. They were beautifully illuminated and she could tell they'd been hand made by someone who knew what they were doing; they were probably spelled for increased accuracy as well. She fingered the rune of fate for a few moments, noting her own reflection in the perfectly polished surface, then she put it back into its bag and smiled at James.
"Remind me to thank him, this is a beautiful gift," she said, and James sighed with relief. Lily was a little nervous about her prospects as a seer; he was glad she was not blaming Divination for her mother's demise.
"He said you'd be starting Runes in your class after the holiday, he thought you'd like to have your own set," James returned softly.
"He was right," Lily said, smiling broadly. "Now you, sir, haven't opened a single gift yet!"
Presents were torn through at a remarkable rate. Books, Quidditch balls, candy, broom servicing equipment, and jewelry seemed to have fallen under the tree like the dead dry needles. Lily's tears came for a moment when she received a present from her mother, obviously sent a little early. It was a beautiful book on protection spells and curse blocking with a note that said Mrs. Evans hoped her daughter was always safe in the wizarding world.
From Lily, James received a rather interesting pocket watch. At least, it interested James because it looked like a simple muggle one, although it was very handsome. He looked at her slightly confused, and she beckoned him closer, whispering an explanation in his ear. "I got it in Knockturn Alley. It isn't quite a time turner, it can only handle five minutes at the most, and you can't be in two places at once, you're still you, exactly where you were five minutes ago or however many seconds you set yourself back. It will, of course, always keep the correct time. You should be careful with it, though, as it is rather against Ministry regulations to have one."
James blinked at Lily. She never even broke school rules, and she was giving him an illegal pocket watch for Christmas? "I thought you'd like it," she said nervously.
"Like it, I love it," he exclaimed, kissing her cheek and throwing his arms around her, causing her to blush furiously and act like a furnace for that part of the common room. "Open mine," he insisted, handing her a delicately wrapped box.
Lily slowly slid the shining wrapping paper off the square cherry-wood box. A beautiful running unicorn shied on the lid and galloped gracefully, so smoothly that Lily could hardly recall that it was a moving carving, and not a photograph, in spite of the lack of color. She tilted the lid back on its golden hinges and peered into the blue velvet lined box. Inside was a milky white pearl only a little smaller than her crystal ball. She looked to James.
"Go on, take it out and hold it," he suggested, a slight smile on his face. Lily did as he suggested, and immediately the depths started swirling. "I know you sometimes lose thoughts like I do; you'll get a good idea and forget to write it down, and then a minute later you won't know what the idea was. This is a Contemplator, it's a little like a cross between a Rememberall and a Pensive. It will show you those thoughts you can't find, of course it has a bit of a fault. If there is something you're trying desperately to not think of, or there is something deeply disturbing your thoughts, it will be overloaded and just show that."
"Cosmic," Lily whispered, as the Contemplator showed a beautiful gauzy curtain design for the decorations of the Great Hall that had occurred to Lily just as she was falling asleep the night before. Lily carefully replaced the item in its box, then leapt at James hugging him tightly. "Thanks, Jamie!" He smiled, and returned the hug.
When presents were all unwrapped, they had breakfast, after which they played chess and Exploding Snap with the other muggle born Gryffindors who decided to stay back. Lily wanted to do some work, but James was dead set against it during the holiday, so they simply spent the entire time playing. At dinner, they pulled wizard crackers and sang Christmas carols. Lily had to leave the table for a little while to cry, but she returned after a bit and managed to ignore the looks of sympathy that everyone shot her.
It is safe to say, that by the end of the holidays when the rest of Lily's friends returned, she was much closer to James. Ironically, they still hadn't kissed. Over the break there was more than one moment where a kiss could have come into being, but it never seemed to happen. Not that Lily necessarily objected; she didn't need a boyfriend or a make-out buddy right now; she needed James, her friend.
Lily asked James to tell people about her mother, and he complied with her wishes. As Lily herself did not broach the subject, however, everyone was sitting awkwardly around the common room. Lily couldn't take it anymore. "Sirius," she said perkily, "let me tell you your future!" She dropped her book, and bounced over to where he was sitting uncomfortably and extended a hand to him.
"Um, okay," he said, taking the hand. Lily sat him in a comfortable chair and settled herself across from him, placing her crystal ball in between them. She placed her hands on the orb and concentrated, rubbing the surface and peering into its depths.
The fog within the crystal slowly condensed and took shape, making Lily gasp. It was a big, black animal, and as the image grew clearer, she had no choice but to acknowledge the only possible omen that it could be. "Oh my God, Sirius, you have the Grim!" Her eyes widened and she searched the depths frantically for other omens that could give her details.
"Erm, isn't that the big black dog," Sirius asked uncomfortably.
"Yes, now please, concentrate; maybe I can get enough to help you!" Lily was frantic, but all she saw in the fog was the dog. As her mind became more hectic, the fog took over, and there was nothing more within the crystal. "Shit," she exclaimed, "I lost it!"
"That's okay," Sirius said, shifting his weight. "I don't believe that load of hooey anyhow. Maybe it wasn't a Grim, maybe it was just Snuffles a lovable stray that I'll meet in Hogsmead the next time I go." Lily looked up at him, a tear in her eye.
"My mum didn't take warning either, Sirius; I'm going to do some serious Divination for you. James, would you go find some tea for us? I'm going up to my room to get my new Runes. I know we technically haven't started with them yet, but they'll give us the most detailed picture of anything." James nodded to her, his throat dry, knowing that she was concerned for nothing, but unable to tell her the truth. Acknowledging his own cowardice, he went off to the kitchens to fetch a pot of tea.
Lily returned with the runes before James had the tea, so she decided to start with those. She made Sirius hold the runes for a little while as she said the invocation over them, making him repeat her words:
"God within me, God without, How shall I ever be in doubt? There is no place where I may go And not there see God's face, not know I am God's vision and God's ears. So through the harvest of my years I am the Sower and the Sown,
God's Self unfolding and God's own."
Lily then unfolded and spread her rune cloth upon the table where the crystal ball had stood a few minutes before. She decided to begin with a simple, three rune reading, because she was not yet comfortable with them. Lily placed her hands over Sirius' and asked the question "How may we keep Sirius from death?" She drew three runes from the bag he held and placed them face down from left to right.
Lily turned over the first Rune, the overview, and let out a sigh of relief. It was Algiz, the Rune of Protection, and it was not reversed. It did not suggest that he needed caution, but that he was safe. She told him this, and he smiled. She then moved onto the second Rune, in the position of the challenge. The rune Mannaz, the rune of self, was reversed in this position. Lily did not fully understand what it meant, but she postulated hopefully that Sirius did not need to be worried about himself and his own safety. This was a good reading and it helped to put her at ease. She turned over the course of action. It was Nauthiz, the Rune of Constraint and Pain. What was to come, to keep Sirius safe from death, would not be without pain for him, but Lily was still glad. It seemed that Sirius would be safe.
She hugged him wordlessly after she finished the reading, and James entered the common room, fashionably late, with the pot of tea and several cups. "Done already," he asked.
"Yep," Lily said, blinking back tears. "He's safe. He's not going to die. I was wrong, and maybe the Grim really was just Snuffles the lovable stray."
James sat down in Lily's chair and poured the tea. "I think we could all use some tea after that scare anyway," he said comfortingly, "even if I did pick it up for nothing."
The group who had been attentively watching Lily do the reading settled back with their tea. The miasma had broken and everyone chatted lazily about the classes they would be attending the next day.