01-10-2002
Meet Jaell Brandybuck: Chapter Four
While all the other Hobbit folk left and all that remained were the Tooks, the Bagginses, and the Brandybucks, plus an 'honorary Brandybuck,' Samwise, we all drank and laughed… well, they did. I simply sat there, sorting out my thoughts. How could this be so important to me? Why do I care so much? Of course it was obvious but I had chosen to play all the complexities out in my head. Over much beer and wine, the others talked and talked. Then ate, danced, and talked some more. I merely sat there with a mug of beer, just staring at it. I hadn't had anything to eat or drink all night and I was hungry, of course, but didn't feel the urge to eat.
"Jaell?" I heard a soft voice come from in front of me. Boy, did I know who that was. Without looking up, I responded.
"Yes, Samwise?"
"May I sit with you?" I nodded and I heard him pull out a stool and set himself down. I looked up at him and he looked at me.
"Yes?"
"I couldn't help but notice how alone you looked… I thought maybe you could use some company." I smiled at his innocence and kindness.
"Thank you, Sam, but I'm fine alone, I really am."
"Well, you don't look fine all by yourself. Want to dance again??" I felt a nudge into my side, coming from where my mother was sitting.
"No, I don't want to dance again, Sam. It's not you, it's just that I need to think a little while." I ignored that nudge as Sam nodded, understandably and apologetically.
"Okay, Miss Jaell. I apologize for interrupting your thoughts." I looked back down at my mug and I heard him get up after a moment and plod away slowly and somewhat sadly, if that was possible. I turned around in my chair to see everyone else happily prancing, without a care in the world. I could see Sam and Frodo speaking to each other on the other side of the dancing area, both with concern and Sam had some fear… like he may have been rejected. Sighing, I stood up and went to Sam.
"I'm sorry, Sam… I am just not mindful of dancing at the moment. Would you care to walk me home?" Practically jumping up, he nodded and then grinned at Frodo, as if he had been redeemed again or something of that nature. Frodo nodded with a laughter in his eyes but also a longing added with a weight of burden.
"Come, Miss Jaell." Sam held the crook of his elbow out and I slowly hooked my arm with his and nodded and off we went towards the home. The first few moments after leaving the party area were silent ones. Eventually, Sam started, sounding light-hearted and free. "Wasn't that a merry holiday? I can't wait until next year. What excellent food and drink. That Frodo surely knows how to throw an exciting party." All I felt I could do was nod. We stopped at the front door and as I was about to go in, I heard Sam again. "Miss Jaell?" I turned around.
"Yes?"
"Good night… and thank you for dancing with me. That was very kind of you." I nodded. "Oh, and…" He came back up to me on the top step and hugged me. "I hope to be seeing more of you… perhaps tomorrow?" I smiled and shrugged tiredly.
"We'll see, dear Samwise, we'll see." Again grinning widely, he almost skipped off back to the party.
That night, while climbing into my bed, my head was spinning. Perhaps Sam really isn't that bad.. but what about those feelings for Frodo I figured out? How would I tell him and Sam? What will happen??
More to come…