Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters involved. Only the messed up events are my own. Sort of.
Author's Note: For those of you waiting for the triangle to begin, that'll be in about chapter four. For now, I'm just going to plagiarize "Salvation."
TERMINAL
Chapter Two
Ghost of a Chance
Dr. Sid removed his hands from the bio-etheric laser's control sphere, a look of complete helplessness on his face. Aki felt her heart sink as Sid pulled away, moving to stand by Colonel Hein's unconscious form. "It's too late," he said dully. "The infection was too great, and dug in too deeply. He has two, maybe three days at most before the infection kills him."
Aki swallowed, her throat dry. He's a terminal patient… the living dead. And it's all my fault! "There's nothing we can do?" she whispered, her voice cracking. "He… he saved me."
"We have to move him in to quarantine before he becomes infectious. I'll report this to General Hudson; there's no need for you to get involved. It wasn't your fault."
He'd never convince her of that truth. She'd killed one of the world's best hopes for beating the Phantoms. She'd heard of Colonel Hein; of his arrogance, and close mindedness. But she'd also heard he was brilliant, and unmatched when it came to tactical maneuvers.
Aki went to his head, ignoring Dr. Sid's warning not to get too close to the patient. He looks so young! Barely older than Gray! "When are we moving him?"
"As soon as possible. I should call a medic right now," Dr. Sid began.
"No," Aki said firmly.
"Aki? Why not?"
"They'll just shut him away, where no one can see him or speak to him, except through a barrier." She noticed Dr. Sid refrained from asking why anyone would want to speak to the obstinate colonel. "I wouldn't be able to apologize."
"That won't do you any good. He'd just yell at you, anyway," Dr. Sid said sadly. But there was compassion in his voice, as if he'd understand the man's attitude for once.
"I know. But maybe that will help him. And I deserve it." Aki's face was drawn to the image of Hein's spirit, still floating above his still form. "Could we keep him here until he wakes up?"
"Aki," Dr. Sid said sternly, "he may never wake up. And if he does, he may not even be in his right mind. Keeping him here is dangerous."
"Please? For peace of mind?" Aki's face was drawn, and her normally bright eyes seemed empty. She was taking this hard, and she doubted she'd ever be able to sleep again without seeing Hein's horror-stricken face when those alien fingers had ripped through his spirit…
Dr. Sid pursed his lips. Then he gave in. "Two hours," he said. "After that, awake or not, we send him to the medical center."
"Thank you," Aki murmured.
"Do you want to stay with him?"
"Yes. It's the least I can do." She shuddered. "Can you imagine waking up alone, knowing you have an infection inside of you, slowly eating away at you, and that you'll never speak to anyone again? I want to spare him that, even if all he does is curse me for doing this to him." She pulled up a chair to the operating table. There was little danger at the moment of being infected by Hein. The treatment shield was only necessary for operations, when the particles would be fighting the treatment. Left alone, they would be quiescent as they slowly devoured Hein's spirit. "What will you be doing?"
Dr. Sid dismissed the floating image of Hein's spirit. "I'll be examining the data from the experiment and trying to figure out just what is so different about your spirit. Maybe this won't all have been for nothing." With a last glance at Hein, Dr. Sid left the small operating chamber.
Left alone with the colonel, Aki slumped in her chair. She studied his face, the harsh lines of which had been softened by his condition. He doesn't look that cruel, really. Just… weary. Like he's lost something precious, and is barely hanging on. It was a common look. Almost everyone Aki knew had lost family to the Phantoms. It was nearly impossible to find anyone in the military that didn't want revenge on the Phantoms.
She hoped he'd wake up soon. She prayed he'd be lucid when he did. If he died before she could thank him…
But he didn't stir. The only motion was the shallow movement of his chest. His skin was pale and waxen, clammy to the touch. It's no use… he isn't going to wake up. But maybe it's better this way. He'll never know the solitude of this way of death if he remains comatose.
But I will. God, how am I going to live with this? It's all my fault… The Council will have our heads for this. And Gray… Gray won't ever trust me again.
"Aki?" She started at Dr. Sid's voice. She checked the clock, realized only an hour had gone past, then eyed Dr. Sid with confusion.
"I still have another hour," she began.
"You may have longer," Dr. Sid said, a strange gleam in his eyes. "Pack your things; we're going on a trip."
"What?" Aki said. "We're not running away…?"
"I may be able to use your spirit to save his life," Dr. Sid said. "But we need time. I'm moving him to the Zeus Station, since zero gravity slows infections. And we need to get there now, before the infection spreads too far and it's too late for him."
Aki jumped to her feet. "The military won't approve; neither will the Council."
Dr. Sid waved a hand dismissively. "We'll clear up the red tape later. For now, we need to get going if we're to save his life."
* * *
He hurt… He hurt everywhere, in ways he couldn't describe. How could he hurt this way? What had happened, anyway? What was that throbbing in his chest?
Hein slowly drew in a breath and released it, tasting the sterile atmosphere around him. Where was he? What had happened? An accident… Something had gone horribly, horribly wrong. A Phantom… a woman… pain…
His eyes snapped open as he remembered a Phantom's hand piercing his chest. My God… It touched me! Had he been saved?
Hein tried to summon the strength to sit up, but something was holding him down, and he was too weak to fight. A moan slipped from his lips.
"You're awake?" The soft, feminine voice sounded garbled to his ears. His senses didn't seem quite right; he could barely feel the rough sheets beneath him, or make out any detail in the walls around him. He couldn't even identify the woman. "Anna?" he whispered, the name a burbling moan. Had he died?
"I'm sorry?" the voice said. A face came into view, a dark corona of hair swimming around her pale features.
Hein didn't bother to speak again; the effort hurt. The woman, whose face was slowly coming into focus, turned suddenly, a move that sent her drifting upwards. Zero gravity… the Zeus? Or am I just totally out of it? Considering how he felt, the odd dissociation from the environment made him think the latter was true.
"How is our patient?" another voice asked. Hein tensed, or thought he did. I know that voice!
"He's awake, Sid, but I don't think he can speak," the woman, who he now identified as Dr. Aki Ross, answered.
"Can he understand us?" Dr. Sid asked, moving close enough for Hein to see the sympathetic expression on the man's face. I must be dying for him to look like that…
The knowledge didn't move him as much as he'd thought it would. Since his wife and daughter had died, he'd only been living a half-life anyway. At least this way, he would be with his family soon.
"Do you understand?" Dr. Sid asked him directly.
Hein tried to say yes, but the word didn't make it past his lips, coming out as a sigh instead. So he tried to nod, but only managed the faintest of movements.
"You were infected by a Phantom and went terminal before we could do anything for you," Dr. Sid said bluntly. So I am dying… "Your senses and perceptions are off because your spirit was almost pulled completely free before the Phantom was destroyed. Your spirit snapped back into your body, but it will take awhile before you are completely normal." And by then, he'd be dead anyway, Hein realized. He wondered why he wasn't in quarantine. Perhaps the doctors were trying to cover up their mistake by hiding him until he died. "You are aboard the Zeus station, which is why you are currently strapped down. We've found that zero gravity slows the spread of infection."
So my agony will just be prolonged? Hein felt a surge of rage. They must be doing this because they want something from me before I die. I won't give it to them! He'd never suspected Dr. Sid of such cruelty… Hein closed his eyes, hoping to discourage conversation.
"We've managed to halt the infection for now," Dr. Sid continued, "but it's only a temporary reprieve."
Hein's eyes snapped back open. "Wha – " he managed. They'd halted the infection? That wasn't possible, was it? Hein's groggy mind struggled to remember everything he knew about infections. All that came to him was the fact that once you went terminal, you were dead. His eyes narrowed angrily. They were only trying to foolishly comfort him before his death…
"Sid," Dr. Ross said gently, placing a hand on the older man's shoulder, "I don't think he's up to it right now." She'd been watching Hein intently, her gaze worried. "You look tired," she told him. "We shouldn't bother you with all this right now. All you need to know for now is that you'll live." She drifted over to his head, allowing his still-blurry eyes to meet her gaze. Was she truly concerned for him? "This machine," she gestured to a band of metal that stretched across his chest, "is keeping the Phantom particles at bay for now, and we are working on constructing a portable version for you." She reached out one hand, her fingers brushing his with a tingle of sensation he barely felt. "It's the only way I can think of to thank you for saving my life."
She was right; he was exhausted. He was as weak as a newborn, and he no longer felt up to keeping his eyes open. He'd live… he wasn't sure if it was kindness or cruelness, but he'd live.
Later, he'd speak to Dr. Sid and Dr. Ross about this, but not now. He let his eyelids droop, and he drifted into slumber, letting his body continue the difficult task of pulling itself back together.
* * *
"He was furious," Aki said, when she was certain they were out of earshot. "I could see it in his eyes."
"Surprised?" Dr. Sid drifted easily nest to her, his body more agile in zero gravity. "This is the beginning of a whole new set of problems for us." He absently pulled himself along, pausing occasionally to rest. "We've likely lost the military's support. And probably the Council's, as well."
"But our research is all that can keep him alive," Aki argued. "If the military wants to save him, they'll have to allow us to continue."
"Sounds like blackmail, doesn't it?" Dr. Sid countered. "We now have a hold on one of their colonels."
Aki sucked her breath in sharply. She hadn't even considered that possibility. She'd just thought they'd be grateful Hein had a chance at life – and that others may as well because of their research. "They must realize we'd never do anything like that."
"The military sees what it wants to see. And they exert quite a bit of influence over the Council, no matter how many supporters we have."
"By saving his life, we may have endangered our research, just when our discoveries are the most promising." Aki's grip tightened around the pull-bar she was clinging to. "Damn it. I wish it had been me with the infection; then no one would have to know."
"Aki, don't speak that way. I'm glad you aren't infected; I need you. The planet needs you. We'll work this out. You'll see."
"Right," Aki said softly. "Everything will be all right."
* * *
Aki always felt guilty about being aboard the Zeus. It was the one place where no one had to fear Phantoms, and it felt wrong to be able to sleep soundly and safely when so many millions of people went to sleep at night wondering if they'd even wake up again. Dr. Sid had joked that the instability of the station's systems should make up for the lack of Phantoms, and she'd had to admit he was right. Even now, much of the station's personnel were preoccupied with one such crippling disaster.
Aki was sitting in the desk chair of the small room provided for her when she was on board, her legs wrapped around it to keep from drifting. She stared at the blank walls, imagining the Earth far below, still beautiful despite the damage done by the Phantoms. Gaia was holding on, but for how long?
Gray was down there, too. How was her captain doing? Should she call him? Aki longed to hear his voice, to feel his arms around her body, to taste his lips… But the knowledge of what she'd done to one of his fellow officers was a leaden weight on her heart. It could have been Gray… It would have been him if we'd waited for him to return. He'll be angry I put myself in so much danger, and he'd be right. This was… unnecessary.
She thought of Colonel Hein, barely able to move, or even breathe on his own. Maybe his body would recover, but he'd never be the same. She'd checked on him again before coming to her room and had found him asleep, though his body spasmed uncontrollably and his eyelids had twitched rapidly. His breath had come out in low moans. She'd been able to do nothing for him, nothing except check his spirit and see that it was again fusing with his body. By tomorrow, she guessed, it would have settled into place.
Along with a Phantom infection.
What had they done? Sid was right; if their theories about spirits were correct, this man's life was now entirely dependant upon them. She remembered when he'd walked in on the experiment, against the will of his general. This is not a man who likes to rely on others. He wouldn't thank them for destroying his career and his life, that was for certain.
Maybe we should have let him die…
The membrane Dr. Sid had created from her spirit to contain the Phantom particles would go a long way towards proving his theory that there was another way to halt the Phantom invasion without causing further destruction. If they let Hein die now, all their data would be lost. But was it kind to let Hein live as a science experiment?
Aki slumped down in her chair. She didn't think she was going to get any sleep tonight. She'd last slept for a few hours after the procedure because she'd been physically – and spiritually – drained. More samples of her own spirit had had to be drawn to create the membrane. She doubted she'd be able to get any more sleep any time soon.
If I can't get any sleep, I may as well make myself useful. After quickly pulling on her coveralls over her nightgown, she headed down the silent corridors to the lab that doubled as Hein's recovery room.
Her eyes flickered briefly over the monitors; he was nearly recovered now. His breathing was more even, and he'd slipped into a deeper sleep. She lightly touched his skin, which was still cold and clammy, but he'd regained some warmth.
Now, she thought, would be a good time to take his measurements. She and Dr. Sid planned to construct a chest plate to maintain the membrane, something more compact and portable then the panel suspended over his chest.
She dug out a measuring tape and awkwardly touched his bare chest, feeling a wave of guilt. Stupid… it's not as if you're interested in him! Still, she had to admit he had a nice body; firm and well-muscled, though a little on the thin side, as if he didn't have time for proper meals. Or didn't care. Aki lightly ran her finger along one rib as she tugged the measuring tape around his torso, and shivered at the contact. Stop it! This man is dying because of me, and I'm admiring his body?! How low can I go?
She turned away in embarrassment, even though there was no one to see. She stowed away the tape measure, having completed her task, then wondered if she should leave. He seemed so… alone. None of the other scientists who knew about his infection wanted to get near him, and everyone else was being kept away. And as far as Dr. Sid had been able to find out, Hein had no family, or even close friends. Widowed, Dr. Sid had heard, though Aki noticed he still wore his wedding ring.
You have no one. I'll stay with you tonight, she decided. She floated over to the bench lining one wall, settling herself upon it. She stayed there for the rest of the night.
* * *
Hein awoke once, escaping the throes of a nightmare about his wife and daughter by entering the equally nightmarish real world, in which his own body felt alien, unreal. Still aboard the Zeus… Still a prisoner of my own body. But he could feel a difference this time. While his body still ached, he could now feel the sheets pressed into his back, the roughness of his restraints, the cold of the room that raised goose bumps on his bared torso. It was dark, but his eyes adjusted gradually.
She's here! Hein could barely make out the dim shape of Dr. Ross, her body settled in a relaxed pose, eyes tightly closed. She was watching over him… sort of. For a moment, he found the gesture oddly touching… until he remembered she was responsible for his condition in the first place. It was guilt that had brought her here.
But she did thank me. He scowled suddenly. Why had he saved her, anyway? She was a foolish scientist, and the world could only benefit with fewer of them. What made her different? Nothing, he knew. But he'd saved her.
After losing his wife and daughter, Hein had stopped caring. What was the point in wasting emotions on someone who was only going to die anyway? He'd stopped thinking of soldiers as people, only as means to defeat the Phantoms. To him, the scientists and the Council were merely obstacles to overcome. He no longer cared about people, only what they could do for him and how they could be manipulated to fit his own agenda.
So… why had he saved Dr. Ross? Why had he interfered with the experiment? Why hadn't he let her learn from her foolishness the hard way?
Hein shut his eyes as another wave of pain washed through him. It didn't matter, anyway. What was done, was done. And he highly doubted he'd live to regret it, anyway.
* * *
When he next woke, the pain had eased to a dull throb, and all his senses seemed to be in order. Hein listened to the bustle of activity going on outside his blocked-off area, reveling in the fact that he could listen, smell, feel again. Only the knowledge that this was temporary kept him from responding with joy.
The weighted curtains walling him off from the rest of the station slid open, and Dr. Ross entered, with Dr. Sid close behind. Dr. Ross held a familiar container he recognized as a food tray, which she set on a side table, while Dr. Sid had a slim, flat object with straps that drifted around his hands.
"Good morning, Colonel," Dr. Ross said, her voice restrained. Good; if she were cheerful, I'd have to hurt her. Hein wasn't a morning person. "How are you feeling?"
Hein's eyes narrowed. "I can feel. That's the best I can offer you."
"Your spirit has settled," Dr. Sid said, his gaze on the monitors. "As soon as I place this, I can release you." He held up the contraption, and Hein scowled.
"What is that?"
"We saved your life by using Aki's spirit to form a membrane around the infection. This panel maintains the membrane." Dr. Sid moved forward, and Hein tried to flinch away.
"You're saying that panel – this 'membrane'– cures me?" Hein snorted in disbelief. "Forgive me, Doctors, if I think that's impossible."
"Not a cure," Dr. Ross said quietly. "It's only temporary. We're going to have to continually… recharge it, I guess you could say, with compatible spirits."
"What are you talking about?" Hein stared. This was utter nonsense! He was infected. He was going to die. That's all there was to it!
"It's our belief that we may find more spirits like Aki's that are disruptive to a Phantom's spirit. By planting them in the membrane, it should increase the strength. What we've done won't last forever, Colonel," Dr. Sid said.
"This is bullshit!" Hein said. "You expect me to believe that other people's spirits can keep a Phantom infection from killing me? And what is this about recharging it? You make it sound as if – " Hein bit off his words as the realization hit him. "I'm stuck with you. To stay alive, I have to stay with you, don't I? I'm going to have to live my life with you holding my leash! What you're saying is that you'll have total control – total power! – over my life! I'd rather die, first!"
Dr. Sid gave Dr. Ross an I-told-you-so look. "With this portable chest panel, you can almost live a normal life."
"Almost. But I may as well forget my military career. Hell, I won't even have a personal life once this gets out because no one will want to be near a terminal patient!" There was a hysterical edge to Hein's voice, but he didn't care. "Of course, what does it matter? I'll you two to chaperone me, and you'll be able to monitor your sick little experiment, too. Everything will be fine, won't it?"
"Shut up!" Dr. Ross cried, startling both Hein and Dr. Sid. "I just wanted to save your life! I didn't want to turn you into an experiment! You saved my life; I only wanted to return the favor!" She loomed closer, looking as if she were going to slap him. Then she gave a furious toss of her hands, almost sending herself into the wall with the force of the movement, and left the small compartment.
Dr. Sid watched her go, then turned to Hein, a look of suppressed rage on his weathered features. "Is this how you treat everyone who shows a little compassion towards you? If so, then perhaps it's better for us all if you aren't in a position to save the human race. You'd probably end up destroying it instead." Dr. Sid angrily tossed the chest plate aside and followed Dr. Ross out.
To Be Continued…