Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Square characters involved. You know the drill.
Author's Note: I apologize that this fic is taking so long to get out. I haven't been in the mood to write romance lately, and I didn't want to attempt anything that would mess it up. I'm sorry.
TERMINAL
Chapter Three
Absent Without Leave
Aki was halfway to her quarters before her anger began to cool. She slowed, letting her momentum carry her forward for several feet. That was stupid of me. Of course the colonel was upset; who wouldn't be? And of course he's lashing out at me. It's my fault. Her hand snagged the pull-bar, and she halted herself. I should go back. I won't apologize… but I'll try to be more understanding.
If he doesn't force me to kill him, first. Aki turned and began to pull herself back towards the labs and their moody patient.
Dr. Sid passed her on the way back. "Going to give it another try? Good luck," the scientist snorted. "Maybe you can wrap the chest plate around his neck."
"Sid!" Aki said, shocked. Then she smiled. "This is a side of you I've never seen."
Dr. Sid sighed. "And I get the feeling you're going to see it more often, with him around. We can't leave him… he'll die without us, and we need to make him understand that."
"I'll talk to him," she said. "I'll try to be patient," she continued wryly, "but there's no guarantee." She'd thought Gray was stubborn… Were all officers this frustrating?
Aki braced herself and went back into the room where Colonel Hein was staring up at the ceiling, a glum look on his face. His eyes flickered briefly in her direction, but he carefully avoided looking at her directly. "Now what?" he asked thickly.
Aki picked up the chest plate from where it had drifted. She slowly untangled the straps, frowning thoughtfully. "I have to put this on you," she said calmly. "Then you'll be able to get up and move around without danger."
Hein's face was sullen, but he held back the sharp retort she knew he wanted to voice. "We don't want to keep you prisoner," she said, her voice softer. "This is just until we find a real cure." Aki released the straps on Hein's arms, and watched as he slowly pulled them to his chest. "Can you sit up?" she asked as she moved the arm of the machine that maintained the membrane.
Hein complied, moving slowly and wincing. "Muscles still hurt," he mumbled through gritted teeth. Hesitantly, Aki pressed the cool metal plate to his chest, watching him flinch as it touched his bare skin. "It's cold!" he gasped. She ignored him as she gently looped the straps around his back, fastening and tightening them securely. She could feel him shiver under her hands, and felt the goose bumps on his pale skin.
"Almost done," she said. Deftly, she activated the components that monitored the membrane, bringing up the holographic representation of the writhing mass of red particles encased in a blue sphere. "There," she said, backing away.
"So now what?" Hein asked bitterly. "It would seem I'm in your hands now." Aki flushed, and turned her head away to hide it. In my hands, indeed…
"First, you can put this on." She handed him a bulky grey sweater, large enough to completely cover the chest plate. "Then, breakfast, if it's not cold." She gestured to the tray she'd set aside earlier.
"I'm not hungry." Hein kept his gaze averted, refusing to meet her eyes as he pulled on the sweater.
"Oh?" Aki arched an eyebrow. She'd seen the wistful way he'd eyed the tray when she'd entered. He was definitely going to try her patience. "I'll just leave the tray here, then. Your pants are here," she opened a drawer beneath his bed, "if you feel up to getting completely dressed." She spun gracefully away from him, drifting towards the dividing curtain.
"You're leaving?" Hein's mouth abruptly snapped shut when he realized what he'd said. He'd sounded so plaintive, so alone… "Go on, then."
"I have to help Dr. Sid. Saving you created quite a mess we have to clean up."
"I didn't ask for it," Hein snapped. But there was less of an edge to his words, as if his anger was fading.
"I'll be back in about half an hour to check on you. Try to eat something, all right?" She let her concern show on her face. Perhaps if he sees that someone actually cares whether he lives or dies, he'll make an effort to get well. If that's even possible.
The colonel's only response was a grunt, and he stared at the sterile wall in front of him. Aki sighed in defeat and left, closing the curtain tightly behind her.
* * *
After the doctor had left, Hein sagged, wearily closing his eyes and sighing. The pain had diminished to a dull throb concentrated under the chest plate, and he wondered if it would ever leave him. His hand lightly touched his chest, where he could feel the hard edges of the plate under the wool. Maybe no one else could see it, but he knew it was there. He knew what it represented. Death…
Hein straightened, and his muscles protested at the motion. He ignored the pain. After all, to one who'd lived with so much of it for so long, what was a little more pain to him?
Hein concentrated instead on getting his legs to work. They were bare, and he felt a twinge of embarrassment as he wondered who had undressed him. Then he put the thought aside and got slowly to his feet.
The lack of gravity was a big help; otherwise, he knew he'd never have made it. His legs didn't want to obey his commands, and his knees felt stiff and wouldn't bend.
Damn! I'd better get over this before the cleansing mission. Then his eyes widened and he stiffened, a quick motion that set him drifting. The mission! Did I miss it? If he had, then he could kiss his military career good bye. Not that he had much of a career left anyway, in his current condition. If I lose my rank, I'll never have the chance to avenge my family. That was why he was trying so hard to make general before he was forty; it gave him a real chance at vengeance. He wouldn't just be a nameless soldier with a small gun against Phantoms; he could make an actual difference! That was why he'd had so much hope for the Zeus.
But now... now he was doomed to a slow, pointless death, stripped of rank and alone in his misery. By saving him, Dr. Ross had condemned him.
A tear dripped down his face, startling him. He'd thought he'd cried his last years ago, but now another tear joined the first. Damn... He'd vowed not to cry again, after the loss of his family. It would be a sign of weakness, a sign that despair was overwhelming him.
But that didn't matter, not anymore. He felt nothing but despair now. So he stood, alone in his secluded room, and let the tears flow freely.
* * *
"Let me go." Those were the first words the colonel said to Aki when she returned. He was standing with his back to her, gripping the edge of his bed to keep from drifting. The tray of food, she noticed, remained untouched.
"Go where?" she asked, though she already knew. He longed for freedom, and she didn't blame him. "You mean, let you leave?"
"You say I'm not a prisoner," Hein said. "If that's so, then let me leave. Let me return to my life."
"You're not a prisoner," Aki said gently, "but you are a patient. You're unwell; I can't let you go until we're certain you're safe. Dr. Sid and I won't be responsible for releasing an infectious patient. We need to keep you here until you're better - "
Hein whirled around, an oddly controlled movement that showed he'd spent a lot of time in zero gravity. "We both know I'm not going to get better," he snapped. "Don't pretend otherwise; I won't be patronized." His tone was cold and commanding, that of a man used to being obeyed. "I know I'm dangerous, and that I'm dying. I only want to take part in the Phantom cleansing mission, if it isn't too late."
"If you're going to go, you want to take something with you, is that it?" Aki asked. She studied his face, noticing his sunken eyes were slightly red.
"It's better than living what's left of my life as your experiment," Hein said. "Once word of my infection gets out, I won't have a place in the military, anyway. Let me do this; let me make one final strike against them!" Hein's bitter voice had a plaintive note to it.
She took a step towards him. "I can't promise you anything," she said finally. "But I will speak to Dr. Sid about it."
His lips thinned, and she could see the skepticism in his pale eyes. She tried to give him a reassuring smile, an expression which fell flat. Hein turned away, dropping onto his bed with a flinch as he settled his still-hurting body. He folded his hands behind his head and stared up at the ceiling.
Aki sighed. He was really trying her patience… And he was obviously through talking to her, as well, for he had closed his eyes and didn't open them again. Dismissed… I hope he's not like this with his troops!
She left him, intending to find Dr. Sid right away. But he proved unavailable; he was locked in a conference with several of the station staff, and would likely be there for hours. She chose not to disturb him.
So what could she do? She had gone to her room after locating Dr. Sid and perched on her chair. She stretched, suddenly aware of how weary she was. She'd gotten little sleep since Hein's infection… perhaps she should take a nap.
She stretched out on her bed, her thoughts drifting towards Gray. How she missed him! It would be so long before he came back to her. How could she last? And… what would he say when he learned about Colonel Hein?
Colonel Hein… Her thoughts were again for her patient. He was cold and arrogant and downright rude to her, and he made her want to scream and rip the chest plate away, letting the Phantom finish him as he desired.
And yet, he'd saved her. And behind his arrogance, she could see the fear and pain he was trying to hide. Argh! Why does he have to be so frustrating? Aki had the feeling this was only just the beginning.
* * *
It was a dream that woke him. Vague and formless; nevertheless, it left him with a feeling of dread in the pit of his stomach. Pain flared in his chest, where the infection was confined, but it slowly faded to a dull ache as Hein wakened.
What was that? It hadn't had the feel of his usual nightmares, in which he saw his wife and daughter die in vivid detail despite not having been present when it happened. This had been different. Strange. Alien…
Hein shivered, suddenly uncomfortably aware of the cold sweat covering his body despite the chilly atmosphere. Where was his coat? Had he worn it during Dr. Sid's ill-fated experiment? No; he seemed to recall leaving it in his apartment.
Beyond the curtain, the laboratory where he was being held was quiet. Perhaps the scientists were on lunch; no matter, it meant that he was alone.
So now what? There was little he could do. Although there were no locked doors, Hein was still trapped by the infection within. Wasn't he? Dr. Ross had said the chest plate could be concealed… especially under his bulky coat. I wonder… Hein sat up slowly, his expression calculating. The Zeus still had only a skeleton crew due to the evacuation that had sent him planetside prematurely. And the lab technicians were gone for the moment.
He peeked out from the curtain to be sure. The lab was indeed deserted. So I'm not worth the effort to watch, am I? A faint smile touched his cold lips.
Perhaps there was still time to participate in the cleansing mission. If so, then he wasn't going to let his captors stop him. I won't just lie back and let death claim me! Mentally, he mapped out the quickest route to the shuttle bay. He knew the station better than most of its builders by now, and he didn't think anyone could stop him in time.
* * *
An insistent buzzing woke Aki, and she groggily thrust out her hand, groping for her alarm. Then it sank in that it wasn't the alarm she heard, and she forced herself into alertness as she activated the phone.
"Hello?" she slurred. She sounded awful; was she really that tired?
"Dr. Ross?" The face that projected before her was one of the lab techs, the man she'd asked to check in on Hein. "It's about the colonel."
Aki's heart almost stopped. "What is it? Is he all right?" Had the particles broken through the membrane?
"He's gone; the station personnel are searching for him, but no one's had any success."
Oh, no… "Has anyone checked the shuttle bay?" Aki demanded. Please, don't let him have left the station!
"I don't know," the man admitted.
"Had Dr. Sid been notified?" she asked finally.
"Yes… he's right here with us," the man began.
"I'll be right there," she said curtly, then disconnected.
She was still dressed, so she wasted no time in getting to the laboratory. "I thought he was being watched!" Aki said angrily when she reached the group still with Dr. Sid.
"We only left him long enough for lunch," one of the lab techs began weakly, but Dr. Sid silenced him.
"How he escaped doesn't matter," Dr. Sid said. "The entire station is on alert; they know we have an escaped patient, though they don't know the details."
Aki calmed slightly. Most of the station was unaware they'd brought the infected colonel on board. As far as anyone knew, they'd just brought someone to the station to save that person's life. If the station personnel knew the whole truth, who knew what would happen…
One of the station staff was coming towards them now, his alarmed face and jerky movements in the zero gravity all Aki needed to see to know something had indeed gone wrong.
"You were right about the shuttle bay, Dr. Ross," the man said grimly, and Aki's heart sank. "He's gone."
* * *
It had taken some fast talking to calm the man at the hangar and persuade him to let Hein land the shuttle in New York. The unscheduled arrival in the public hangar – Hein didn't want to risk using the military hangar until he'd cleared things up with his superiors – caused a lot of problems, but in the end, Hein was able to dock. He was able to bypass the scanning facility since he had come from the station, which was a relief because he had no clue how he'd explain what was inside of him.
At the thought, he absently rubbed the chest plate, feeling the edges under the wool shirt. It chafed, and he wanted to rip it away. But he couldn't; his presence had already been noted by the military and he had to put in an appearance.
Even if he was too late for the cleansing mission. When he'd seen the calendar, he'd wanted to scream in frustration. How could he have been aboard the Zeus so long without being aware? How could he be two days late?
There was nothing he could do about it now. He couldn't even find out the results, since the information was still classified. He didn't know anything. He could only sit in his small room, leather coat resting on his knees, and wait. When he'd first reached his quarters he'd been given for his temporary stay in New York, General Hudson had already learned of his arrival. Hein had found a short, terse message from one of Hudson's underlings to report to the general at 1500. Now he could only wait and worry.
His absence could mean a court martial. He was a commanding officer, and he'd missed one of the most important missions of his life. Damn it… Damn Dr. Sid and Dr. Ross… Damn them all! He clenched his fists until his knuckles turned white, digging his nails into the flesh of his palms. He welcomed the pain, a hurt that made more sense than the throbbing in his chest. This pain sharpened his thoughts, made him feel more alert. Good. He'd need it. In one more hour, he was going to face General Hudson, and likely a panel of other military officers to condemn his actions. He'd need all his wits to escape the humiliation of court martial.
And if that did happen and he was out of the military for good, then death was still an option. All he'd have to do was remove the chest plate.
* * *
"Absent without leave, Colonel. T hat's a very serious charge, especially for an officer of your standing." General Hudson stood by Hein, managing to seem to loom over him despite being the shorter of the two. "The Phantom cleansing mission would have benefited from your presence." Hein bet it hurt Hudson to admit that. But Hudson's face and tone remained carefully neutral, which Hein was struggling to emulate. He feared his own indifferent mask was slipping.
"The mission suffered heavy losses under the man who replaced you," Hudson continued, his voice suddenly cold. "And while I doubt you could have made this mission successful, your expertise could have saved many lives."
So it hadn't gone well, then… He tried to convince himself it wasn't his fault, but he had difficulty believing it.
"If it were my decision alone, I would have you court martialed." Since Hein had already considered that option, he didn't give Hudson the satisfaction of seeing him flinch. "However, my peers have decided against it."
Hein didn't shift from his attentive posture, didn't let his face show any emotion, but inside, his mind was in turmoil. How had he earned this reprieve?
"Information on your whereabouts has recently come to light," Hudson continued. Oh, no… "A few hours ago, we received a message from Dr. Sid that you had received a Phantom infection and were taken aboard the Zeus due to its severity."
Hein's eyes widened imperceptibly. Damn them… how dare they spread this around?!
"Dr. Sid said the threat was taken care of, but they had to keep you for observation due to some, how did they put it, 'spiritual dislocation'." So they haven't told the whole truth. Of course, they're covering their own asses as well as mine.
"He said you are now fit for duty… but my peers and I agree you can't resume your previous duties. You still failed to inform us of your whereabouts, leading to disaster."
He was making Hein sound like a negligent private, though he'd had no way of telling the general or anyone else! He bit back his anger, his urge to tell the general he'd received the infection in an experiment he'd authorized…
"Therefore, it is the decision of your superiors to demote you to the rank of major. You'll be attached to the New York contingent, under me."
Hein's heart sank. He could think of worse punishments, but he felt humiliated. "Yes, sir," was all he said, the words clipped.
"I am sorry, Major," General Hudson said, his voice sounding genuinely sympathetic for the first time. "If you had made it to the cleansing mission, you probably would have made the rank of general."
To Be Continued…