*#*#*#*#*#**#*#**#*# = POV change
"Dawn! Are you comming?" Buffy yelled from the kitchen.
"You should go... We dont want an angry slayer on our hands."
"Or our asses." She got up before he could scold her for swearing.
He got up. He really had no where to go, he couldnt leave, find a place to sleep, or even sleep for that matter. Sure the meds where working, he almost got dizzy from standing up. He found Giles alone in the dining room researching something that was probably of mild importance. He sat down next to the english man and looked up at him.
"Can you drive me home?" Xander was suprised when he agreed and helped him to his car.
"Thanks Giles."
"Think nothing of it."
********
Xander walked into his apartment with a relieved feeling. Going out quietly was the way to go. No confrontation meant he got to keep all his limbs. He didnt feel like doing this... He felt like crawling into his own bed and just lying there.
Maybe he could become a preist. Of course he would have to take that oath of poverty, which meant his comic book collection would have to go...
Naw, religion meant dedication and a lot of smelly incents. He liked fighting evil, but that meant he would have to be around the woman he loved almost all the time and not able to act on it.
#*#**#**#*#*#*#*#*#**#*#*#**#*#
Buffy is behind me. I'm not a fool; I know she'd follow me.
"Xander!!"
"What do you want Buffy?"
"Just talk with me!!"
"I only talk to people who respect me, and since no such animal exists at the moment I am going home. So I can be by myself, where I am appreciated."
"That's not fair Xander!"
"Want to talk about unfair?? Try this for unfair. This one person, not to name names, lets just call her Muffy. You see Muffy has been 'friends' with this guy Pander for seven years. Pander learns in the course of ten minutes that Muffy doesn't think very much of Pander. So Pander is doing the smart thing and going home to listen to country music. So that when Muffy does die, he can feel like shit for the rest of his life because he didn't do anything to help Muffy."
"Muffy respects Pander!! Muffy needs Pander!! But she doesn't want him to die!"
"You think I'll want to live much when you die? You think much of anything will matter when you're gone? You think I don't need you?!?!"
"Pand- I mean Xander... You don't. Your life will go on without the slayer. No more demons, no more fighting for your life every week."
"Ok, you know I might be able to do without the slayer. And the demons I could do without. But I'll tell you one thing, I wont be alive without Buffy Summers."
I turn and walk away. Leaving Buffy standing there in the middle of the street.
***********
When I get home its no surprise to see Giles sitting on the couch. He would want to avoid a direct confrontation, let the walk home cool me off a bit.
"She is right. You are strong, and you can fight, no one is arguing that. But you are an innocent in this. You have no reason to fight."
"I do, Buffy."
"Buffy can take care of herself. Dawn cant. You've always been good with Dawn. If something were to happen to us... it would... I would be glad you were there for her. To keep her safe."
"Oh and don't forget how happy the pair of us would be. She looses Buffy for the second time, third for me, and all of our friends would be dead. Sign me up for the fun! The bright side would be that Spike would be dust, but that doesn't make up for the fact that we would be all alone."
"Are you afraid of being left out?"
"Are you crazy? You know, I see danger and I walk quickly the other way. Its just seven years pass and still you and Buffy think no more of me... in some ways you think less of me. I am just me and I know that's not much to offer but that's all I got. I keep giving all I have and you don't care because I am not Superxaneder."
"I know you do." I jump at the sound of Buffy's voice. "You give everything fighting for something that you weren't chosen to do. This isn't fate; you aren't some super witch or watcher. Any regular person would have left seven years ago, heck I tried so hard to leave. This isn't something you have to do and here you are day in day out. Why? Why can't you just go away? Why cant you just walk away from this and never look back??"
"Because I don't want to live a normal life. I don't want to never think about what the rain of toads meant, or never go into research mode again. I want to hang with Buffy Summers and her freaky super friends."
"You're gonna die."
"Seven years of knowing tomorrow might not come. Got the message."
"Xander, you don't need to die to help. There is actually a protection spell I recently found. You can protect Buffy from a safe distance. Does that seem alright with everyone?" Giles said. He looked from Buffy to me and we both nodded.
He took that as his cue to leave. Buffy kept eye contact with me for a minute, not moving a muscle.
"Do you actually think I could keep slaying after you're dead?" Her voice seems loud against the silence.
"If Willow died you could."
"This isn't about Willow."
"You shut us out Buffy. Something gets hairy and you say goodbye world, Buffy is doing this on her own."
"You never took goodbye for an answer. You never listened. If you died, who would come save me when I need it most? Who wouldn't listen and come to help anyway?"
"Are you saying I can't follow directions?"
"Damn strait." She smiles for the first time that night and I can't help but be drawn into it, I smile too.
"I knew this would lead to you insulting my intelligence." She knows I am joking. She walks to me and gives me a tight hug. I feel like I cant breath. I don't know if that's due to the slayer strength or that Buffy is so close to me.
By this time I've forgotten what started the fight. Buffy is warm... Buffy smells good. She seperates herself from me and smiles again.
"I am sorry, I shouldnt have started that whole big fight scene."
She started it? Oh, thats right. Xander you really gotta start thinking with other body parts.
"Thanks, I'm sorry too. Buff..." I didnt finish. She smiles again and walks out the door.
"...I love you." I said barely above a whisper.
"Dawn! Are you comming?" Buffy yelled from the kitchen.
"You should go... We dont want an angry slayer on our hands."
"Or our asses." She got up before he could scold her for swearing.
He got up. He really had no where to go, he couldnt leave, find a place to sleep, or even sleep for that matter. Sure the meds where working, he almost got dizzy from standing up. He found Giles alone in the dining room researching something that was probably of mild importance. He sat down next to the english man and looked up at him.
"Can you drive me home?" Xander was suprised when he agreed and helped him to his car.
"Thanks Giles."
"Think nothing of it."
********
Xander walked into his apartment with a relieved feeling. Going out quietly was the way to go. No confrontation meant he got to keep all his limbs. He didnt feel like doing this... He felt like crawling into his own bed and just lying there.
Maybe he could become a preist. Of course he would have to take that oath of poverty, which meant his comic book collection would have to go...
Naw, religion meant dedication and a lot of smelly incents. He liked fighting evil, but that meant he would have to be around the woman he loved almost all the time and not able to act on it.
#*#**#**#*#*#*#*#*#**#*#*#**#*#
Buffy is behind me. I'm not a fool; I know she'd follow me.
"Xander!!"
"What do you want Buffy?"
"Just talk with me!!"
"I only talk to people who respect me, and since no such animal exists at the moment I am going home. So I can be by myself, where I am appreciated."
"That's not fair Xander!"
"Want to talk about unfair?? Try this for unfair. This one person, not to name names, lets just call her Muffy. You see Muffy has been 'friends' with this guy Pander for seven years. Pander learns in the course of ten minutes that Muffy doesn't think very much of Pander. So Pander is doing the smart thing and going home to listen to country music. So that when Muffy does die, he can feel like shit for the rest of his life because he didn't do anything to help Muffy."
"Muffy respects Pander!! Muffy needs Pander!! But she doesn't want him to die!"
"You think I'll want to live much when you die? You think much of anything will matter when you're gone? You think I don't need you?!?!"
"Pand- I mean Xander... You don't. Your life will go on without the slayer. No more demons, no more fighting for your life every week."
"Ok, you know I might be able to do without the slayer. And the demons I could do without. But I'll tell you one thing, I wont be alive without Buffy Summers."
I turn and walk away. Leaving Buffy standing there in the middle of the street.
***********
When I get home its no surprise to see Giles sitting on the couch. He would want to avoid a direct confrontation, let the walk home cool me off a bit.
"She is right. You are strong, and you can fight, no one is arguing that. But you are an innocent in this. You have no reason to fight."
"I do, Buffy."
"Buffy can take care of herself. Dawn cant. You've always been good with Dawn. If something were to happen to us... it would... I would be glad you were there for her. To keep her safe."
"Oh and don't forget how happy the pair of us would be. She looses Buffy for the second time, third for me, and all of our friends would be dead. Sign me up for the fun! The bright side would be that Spike would be dust, but that doesn't make up for the fact that we would be all alone."
"Are you afraid of being left out?"
"Are you crazy? You know, I see danger and I walk quickly the other way. Its just seven years pass and still you and Buffy think no more of me... in some ways you think less of me. I am just me and I know that's not much to offer but that's all I got. I keep giving all I have and you don't care because I am not Superxaneder."
"I know you do." I jump at the sound of Buffy's voice. "You give everything fighting for something that you weren't chosen to do. This isn't fate; you aren't some super witch or watcher. Any regular person would have left seven years ago, heck I tried so hard to leave. This isn't something you have to do and here you are day in day out. Why? Why can't you just go away? Why cant you just walk away from this and never look back??"
"Because I don't want to live a normal life. I don't want to never think about what the rain of toads meant, or never go into research mode again. I want to hang with Buffy Summers and her freaky super friends."
"You're gonna die."
"Seven years of knowing tomorrow might not come. Got the message."
"Xander, you don't need to die to help. There is actually a protection spell I recently found. You can protect Buffy from a safe distance. Does that seem alright with everyone?" Giles said. He looked from Buffy to me and we both nodded.
He took that as his cue to leave. Buffy kept eye contact with me for a minute, not moving a muscle.
"Do you actually think I could keep slaying after you're dead?" Her voice seems loud against the silence.
"If Willow died you could."
"This isn't about Willow."
"You shut us out Buffy. Something gets hairy and you say goodbye world, Buffy is doing this on her own."
"You never took goodbye for an answer. You never listened. If you died, who would come save me when I need it most? Who wouldn't listen and come to help anyway?"
"Are you saying I can't follow directions?"
"Damn strait." She smiles for the first time that night and I can't help but be drawn into it, I smile too.
"I knew this would lead to you insulting my intelligence." She knows I am joking. She walks to me and gives me a tight hug. I feel like I cant breath. I don't know if that's due to the slayer strength or that Buffy is so close to me.
By this time I've forgotten what started the fight. Buffy is warm... Buffy smells good. She seperates herself from me and smiles again.
"I am sorry, I shouldnt have started that whole big fight scene."
She started it? Oh, thats right. Xander you really gotta start thinking with other body parts.
"Thanks, I'm sorry too. Buff..." I didnt finish. She smiles again and walks out the door.
"...I love you." I said barely above a whisper.