Disclaimer: No, you fool, I don't own Digimon, nor do I own the song All You Wanted by Michelle Branch. I don't even like the song all that much *ducks to avoid flying tomatoes and osbecks*.

Author's Notes: There is no excuse for this piece. I wrote a songfic...I'm so ashamed! I'm not sure whether this counts as Taiora or as a Taichi and Sora friendship, but whatever. If you have time to read only one of my pieces, don't read this. Read Gemini Wine. But if you really, really want to read this, go ahead! It's not bad...it's just not my best. Anyway, this is my first attempt at a songfic, so please review saying whether or not you liked it, or giving me tips on how to write a *good* songfic, or whatever! Thanks much, and now, go read!


All You Wanted

by Miniberry, 1-20-03

Dedicated to my friend who is a lot like Taichi is in this fic. Here's hoping that someone can come through for you. I love you man! *blows kiss*

I wanted to be like you
I wanted everything
So I tried to be like you
And I got swept away

Ever since we were little, Taichi and I had been best friends. I could hardly remember a time when we hadn't known each other. And although I don't think he knew it, from the very first time he let me share his toys in the sandbox, I idolized him. Sure, sometimes I would tease him about his hair, or his brashness, or the way he always had that cute little lopsided grin...but really, I always looked up to him in a way.

Then, we went to the digital world. That was an amazing experience. I think the both of us really grew and matured a lot there, and we became a lot closer. By the time the team arrived back home, I had learned to read feelings-the feelings of others, and, perhaps more importantly, my own. I also learned to take time to stop and smell the flowers, and that a smile could brighten the darkest situation. Taichi had become more confident (not like he needed it) and more cautious. But he retained the same innocence that had been his trademark in our youth. Youth...that's what we call the time before we returned from the other world. After that, we were all--mentally, at least--adults. It put a strain on all of us, to leave our childhood behind so quickly. But I think Taichi caught it the worst, and none of us seemed to notice. That's about the time I started dating Yamato.

I didn't know that it was so cold and
You needed someone to show you the way
So I took your hand and we figured out that
When the time comes I'd take you away

That night before the Christmas concert was one of the hardest nights of my life. When Taichi asked me to go to the concert with him, it was so painful for me to say no. I cried when I got home that night. Yamato was a wonderful person, but in retrospect, that moment with Taichi had been an indicator that the relationship was doomed. I knew, in some corner of my mind, that Taichi was in some emotional pain from my semi-rejection. My clean break-up with Yamato came a couple of months later, and we are still on good terms.

Although Yamato and I were back to pre-concert status, Taichi and I were not. I barely saw him anymore, and I was beginning to suspect something was wrong. My fears were confirmed after a discussion with his little sister. Hikari told me that her brother had become quiet and often spent time cloistered in his room. His appetite had changed, and he often skipped soccer practice to sit alone, staring at the wall. Apparently, this had all started while I was with Yamato. I felt terrible for not noticing. Wasn't this supposed to be my forte? I was supposed to be the mother hen. I was supposed to comfort people when they were down. So where was I when Taichi needed me?

I confronted Taichi about his seclusion a few days later. His eyes became dull as I spoke, and he turned away from me. He said that he was just being a normal teenager. I told him that he wasn't a normal teenager, and that nobody expected him to be. He just looked at me. Then he said something that has scarred me to this day. he said, all I want is to be a normal teenager. I want things to go back to the way they were...but it'll never happen. We'll never have our childhood back. The days of our carefree youth are gone. But the rest of you have adjusted back to our life on Earth. You're prepared to become adults. But I'm not...I can't adapt to this life. And I'm just not going to try anymore...I just want to give up...sometimes, I wish I could die. He walked away then, leaving me shellshocked. Was he serious? How could he talk about those things? Taichi never gave up on anything. For him to just give up on his life...I couldn't bear the idea. But I couldn't think of what to do. Tears stung my eyes as I watched him go.


If you want to
I can save you
I can take you away from here
So lonely inside
So busy out there
And all you wanted was somebody who cares

I didn't sleep that night. My pillow was soaked with tears in the morning, and my eyes were red and bloodshot. But I had to do something about Taichi. I couldn't just let him ruin himself like that...he had so much potential, so much life! We had been best friends. The inseparable duo. I didn't think I could survive without my other half. And if I had my way, I wouldn't have to.

I marched right up to Taichi's house and knocked on the door, which Hikari answered. I asked to see her brother, and she looked concerned. You know, Sora-san, she said, I don't want you to stress over him. I want to see the old Taichi just as much as you do, but I'm afraid that you may become just as depressed as he is if you spend too much time with him.

Well, that's a chance I'll just have to take, I told her. I'll wake him up, if you want. She let me pass, following me apprehensively with her eyes as I went to wake up Taichi. He was curled up on his bed in a fetal position, face contorted in agony. From the looks of it, he didn't sleep well. His hair was even more of a mess than usual, and he needed a shave. I shook him awake. He moaned in protest, and looked shocked upon seeing my face. Am I that scary, Taichi-kun?

N...no. I just didn't expect you to be here, that's all.

Well, I am, so wake up! We have lots of things to do today, I said, with an enthusiasm and confidence I did not feel. He groaned.

Well, at least give me time to take a shower and change, he said sleepily. I nodded and left his room. Hikari offered me some food, but my stomach felt like a dead weight, and I didn't want to eat. Instead, I sat at the table, staring vacantly at a window decoration that Taichi and I had made in...third grade, was it? I didn't remember. Finally, Taichi entered the room, clad in a ribbed green sweater and khakis. He looked well-groomed, but his heart wasn't in it, I could tell.

Forcing excitement into my voice, I said, Well, are you ready to go? He nodded lethargically, so I grabbed his arm. Bye-bye, Hikari-chan, we'll be home by midnight! Then I pulled Taichi out the door.


I'm sinking slowly
So hurry hold me
Your hand is all I have to keep me hanging on
Please can you tell me
So I can finally see
Where you go when you're gone

The first place we went was the Odaiba shopping mall. Hey... don't look at me like that! Taichi gave me that same look when we arrived. Seriously, I knew what I was doing when I brought Taichi there. What are we doing at a mall? he asked skeptically.

I matched his tone. Shopping, baka. Come on, we can go to the electronics store! He grumbled, but followed me in. I could almost go so far as to say that we had a good time, although he was a little stiff. I couldn't believe I hadn't noticed this change in him before. I looked at him, staring at a little robotic dinosaur. I knew instantly why this object had captured his fancy, and popped over to him with a feigned cheerfulness. Like it? I have plenty of money, if you want.

He stared through it for a moment, then shook his head. No, it's all right. Are you done here?

Inwardly, I felt like crying. But I reminded myself that it had only been ten minutes, and I had plenty more surprises in store for him. Sure! Let's go to the sunglasses store...everyone loves sunglasses!

How can one person be so enthusiastic about *shopping*? Taichi asked, but I ignored him. We soon were inside Erotica Sunglasses, (hey, I'm not a pervert, that's the name of our big sunglasses chain here in Japan!) trying on every pair in sight. I put on a nice pair with star-shaped lenses, which actually got a laugh out of our favorite little ball of sunshine. Next, I put them on his head, and we looked in the mirror. Wow, we look like movie stars! he exclaimed. We hung out in there for a while longer. I was relieved that he seemed less tense now. I don't know if he was really feeling better, or if he was just acting for my benefit...but I wasn't going to argue.

After spending nearly an hour in the sunglasses shop, we headed out to the food court for an early lunch. This was originally meant to be my trump card for the morning, but it almost seemed like I wouldn't need it. We ate a lot. Taichi and I had both skipped breakfast, so we were really hungry. Stuffed, we decided to go to a purikura booth (for all you Americans, it's one of those photo-sticker booths) to take pictures. It was great! We mugged for the camera, and for the first time that day, I entirely forgot the solemn reason for our mission.

Getting the pictures printed out, I pointed him over to our final stop on the mall tour, the sports store. I spent some time checking out the tennis equipment, but noticed that Taichi wasn't really looking at anything. He had that vacant look again, staring at the soccer gear. I didn't know what to do...but, as they say, necessity is the mother of invention, and I was struck with a brilliant idea. I had some free time allotted for our day out, so I hopped over to the shelf, picked out a soccer ball, and bought it. C'mon, Taichi, let's go for a pickup game!

I dunno, Sora... he said, hesitantly. Do you really want to play soccer with me?

I would be honored. Come on! Pulling Mimi's signature move, I grabbed Taichi's arm and had him on the bus to the park before he knew what hit him.

If you want to
I can save you
I can take you away from here
So lonely inside
So busy out there
And all you wanted was somebody who cares


Luckily for us, the spot where we used to play soccer together was deserted. The trees we had used as goalposts were still there, if a little taller than before. I dug around in my pocket for a coin to flip, but noticed that Taichi was looking forlorn and distant again. What's wrong, Taichi?

I...I was just thinking of the times before the digital world, when we used to play here. We never knew that in such a short time, we would be going on a life-changing adventure...we were so innocent then! Sometimes, I wish we could have stayed that way. He said this slowly and haltingly, as if it was painful to think of the words.

I looked down at the ground, unsure of what to say. I now realized what was upsetting him. It was the
nostalgia. He wished for his lost childhood, the time to spend in normal fifth-grade activities that he had been so cruelly robbed of. Taichi had grown up more than any of us during our time away, and now he was showing it. I wished with all of my heart that I could give him back his youth, but there was no way to do that. The best I could do was to give him some joy in his adolescence, and hope for the best.

Look, Taichi, I said, putting a hand on his shoulder. I know you would love to be a carefree young child again, but that's never going to happen. As you get older, there will be fewer times when you're allowed to act like one, and this is one of them. You're free to mope around if you want, but I'd like it if you'd play a game of soccer with me. And I'm not going to go easy on you.

He looked down at me and forced a smile. I'm not going easy on you either, Sora.

Fine with me! I said, and flipped the coin. Heads...you get your pick of a goal. He chose, and we spent a little over an hour playing soccer. I was a little rusty, and he won. But I wouldn't have had it any other way.


All you wanted was somebody who cares
If you need me you know I'll be there
Oh, yeah

The next part of my plan was a movie and dinner. We were seeing a nice, younger kids' movie called Spirited Away. I don't know why I'd picked it, but it was playing at the right time. Taichi and I bought tickets and a huge tub of popcorn. Mimi would have freaked out to see the amount of butter and salt we put on that thing...but she wasn't there, so we were extremely liberal with the toppings. We got some strange looks-two high schoolers in a children's movie-but we didn't mind at all. The movie wasn't bad, and we headed out to dinner happy, if not hungry.

We went to a nice little udon shop to eat. Being extremely full of popcorn, we weren't all that hungry, so we shared a dish. It was a good thing, too, because there were a whole lot of noodles in that bucket. Taichi and I only made it halfway through the meal eating at full speed, and as we slowed down, we started to talk. We managed to avoid discussing his depression, but it was a little uncomfortable. I hoped that our last stop would be enough to pull him out of it, but I was beginning to doubt that I could save him from himself. Taichi had shown promise earlier, but I now feared that curing him was beyond me.


If you want to
I can save you
I can take you away from here
So lonely inside
So busy out there
And all you wanted was somebody who cares

The day was nearing its end, and it was time for the grand finale. Taichi and I were now headed to Umi Hotaru, a sort of rest stop in the middle of an ocean highway. It was a little ways away, but it would be worth it. I had been there once before, but was pretty sure that Taichi hadn't. When we arrived on the roof, the sun was beginning to set, and the view out over the sea was spectacular. I gestured at the horizon. There, Taichi, I said, somewhat desperate. If that doesn't make you happy, nothing will.

He stood still for what seemed like hours. I looked at him nervously. Had I driven him over the edge? Then, slowly, Taichi stepped towards the barrier and rested his elbows on it. Leaning on them comfortably, he stared out at the sea. It was at that point that I saw tears in his eyes.

I put my hand on his shoulder.

Taichi started to cry then, choking out his sobs and barely able to breathe. I pulled him to me like a mother would her son, stroking his head and murmuring comforting words. His tears soaked my shirt, but I barely noticed. We stood nearly ten minutes like this before his sobs began to let up. I was a little worried that I had caused him to get worse, but something inside me knew that he would be all right now.

I'm so sorry, he said softly. The pain I've caused you, and everyone else...I'm so sorry! I couldn't get past the fact that I would never have my life back...but now I realize...this *is* my life. I have to move on...to see that there will always be people there for me. People like you...

I was aware that I was crying now. I pressed him closer to me for my own comfort, and he put his arms around me too, kissing the top of my head as consolation. I felt like all of the tension, all of the stress of today had suddenly broken up, leaving me vulnerable to my own feelings. As the sun set behind us, we supported each other, neither feeling confident enough to let go. Stars began to light the sky before we finally separated. Don't cry, Sora-chan, Taichi told me. Everything's going to be okay now. I've realized the error of my ways, and I'm going to be all right. Are you?

Yeah...yeah, I am. I'm just so happy that you're okay now... I felt tears prick my eyelids again, and I closed my eyes to hold them back, albeit unsuccessfully. I felt Taichi's arms around me again. How ironic...he was the one comforting me now. After I had spent the entire day trying to make him smile, *he* was cheering *me* up. But I didn't mind. As long as Taichi was okay, everything was okay. I knew now that I wouldn't have to be separated from my other half. I would, and always will, remain whole.


Please can you tell me
So I can finally see
Where you go when you're gone

Author's Notes: Okay, I guess it wasn't that bad. Maybe because the topic is kind of close to my heart. Read and review, please! If you must flame me, feel free, but keep in mind that I will just laugh at you, because you are a fool. Really, though, I have done better, so please don't think that this is exemplary work for me, because I really hope it's not. And Erotica is a real Japanese sunglasses chain, maybe not the major one. I went there, it was fun! Enough self-bashing for me...I am off! Love ya!

~Mini