The next few days saw the students slowly progressing in their gymnastic training. Most of the students became increasingly pleased with themselves as they advanced. Even the Boys seemed happy with the training. Jubilee on the other hand, seemed to grow more and more sullen as the days went by. To Paige it seemed that Jubilee was less sullen than frustrated. She finally cornered Jubilee in their room one night. "Yah don't seem to be enjoying yahself in gymnastic. Don't cha like em?"
"I love them that's the problem." Jubilee admitted.
"Ah don't get it, if yah love gymnastics then yah'll should be in heaven. So why aren't cha having fun?"
"Because I can't be good at them."
"If yah practice I'm sure yah'll get better. Yah didn't learn to blade in a day did yah?"
"No it was a weekend." Jubilee answered off handily. "But that's not it, I am good at it I just can't be good at it here."
"Common Jubes now yah're being delusional."
"I'll prove it common." Jubilee grabbed her Gym bag and headed out the door.
"Where are we going?"
"To the gym of course. I'm going to show you that I can do it."
"Jubes…"
"Don't. Just common." They walked in silence until they reached the gym. "Here Hayseed toss this in the stereo. "Jubilee tossed her tape to Paige. She entered the changing room and changed quickly. On her return she told Paige to press play. Jubilee jumped up and grabbed the lower uneven bar. The music started and so did Jubilee she soared through her routine landing perfectly and turning to look at Paige.
"But how? It took yah so long to get the Balance beam." Jubilee walked over to the stereo and cued the tape and pulled herself up onto the balance beam. Her routine on the balance beam was just as intricate and as well executed as the first. Once finished this routine Jubilee indicated that she wanted to return to their room. Paige followed.
"What was that?"
"That was Gymnastics, haven't you been paying attention in class?"
"Jubes, why don't yah do that in class?"
"Cause I can't!"
"Yes yah can! I just saw yah!"
"You don't understand I'm not suppose t o be able to do that."
"Why not?"
"Because I'm Jubilee, I'm uncoordinated, I'm slow, I can't do that!"
"Yah make it sound like yahr playing a part Jubes. This is yahr life if yah can do it then yah can do it. Unless there's a reason why yah don't want us to know yah can do that."
Jubilee looked away from Paige. "It's nothing I just used to take lessons. No one here would believe that I could do that so I don't it's just easier."
"If it's so much easier than why is it so frustrating for yah? Jubes just because we may not think yah can do something doesn't mean yah shouldn't. 'Sides wouldn't yah love to see the look on M's face if you did that. I mean she's no where near where you are."
"Yeah I guess that part would be okay. She'd like totally go catatonic." Jubilee smiled.
"Jubilee we like yah because of who yah are, not because of what we think yah are. Yah know that right. Yah can tell me anything."
"Yeah, its just something from a very long time ago. From before I left home. So have you figured out what you're going to do for the talent show? I heard Angelo taking earlier and he's thinking about doing a rap type thing."
Paige knew better then to push for something Jubilee wanted to keep hidden. She decided instead just to go with this new subject.
"That would be, well…Normal wouldn't it? Doesn't he do that all the time anyway?"
"Paige we've been living together for two years I really don't think we have any hidden talents left."
"I would have said that too, but yah showed me a talent I didn't know yah had." Jubilee took a breath to speak but Paige cut her off. "I won't tell anyone. If yah had wanted them to know yah would have done that in class. Night, see yah in the morning." Paige crawled into her bed and turned off her light. Similarly Jubilee climbed into her bed and turned off her light but it was awhile before she was able to fall asleep.
She had realized something that night. She wasn't happy. She wanted to be but she wasn't. It seemed like the more she tried to be normal and happy the less she was. ~Maybe it's time to stop trying so hard. Maybe it's time to stop fighting who I am~ Drifting off to sleep that night she had made one decision, she wasn't going to fake her gymnastics the next day.
"I love them that's the problem." Jubilee admitted.
"Ah don't get it, if yah love gymnastics then yah'll should be in heaven. So why aren't cha having fun?"
"Because I can't be good at them."
"If yah practice I'm sure yah'll get better. Yah didn't learn to blade in a day did yah?"
"No it was a weekend." Jubilee answered off handily. "But that's not it, I am good at it I just can't be good at it here."
"Common Jubes now yah're being delusional."
"I'll prove it common." Jubilee grabbed her Gym bag and headed out the door.
"Where are we going?"
"To the gym of course. I'm going to show you that I can do it."
"Jubes…"
"Don't. Just common." They walked in silence until they reached the gym. "Here Hayseed toss this in the stereo. "Jubilee tossed her tape to Paige. She entered the changing room and changed quickly. On her return she told Paige to press play. Jubilee jumped up and grabbed the lower uneven bar. The music started and so did Jubilee she soared through her routine landing perfectly and turning to look at Paige.
"But how? It took yah so long to get the Balance beam." Jubilee walked over to the stereo and cued the tape and pulled herself up onto the balance beam. Her routine on the balance beam was just as intricate and as well executed as the first. Once finished this routine Jubilee indicated that she wanted to return to their room. Paige followed.
"What was that?"
"That was Gymnastics, haven't you been paying attention in class?"
"Jubes, why don't yah do that in class?"
"Cause I can't!"
"Yes yah can! I just saw yah!"
"You don't understand I'm not suppose t o be able to do that."
"Why not?"
"Because I'm Jubilee, I'm uncoordinated, I'm slow, I can't do that!"
"Yah make it sound like yahr playing a part Jubes. This is yahr life if yah can do it then yah can do it. Unless there's a reason why yah don't want us to know yah can do that."
Jubilee looked away from Paige. "It's nothing I just used to take lessons. No one here would believe that I could do that so I don't it's just easier."
"If it's so much easier than why is it so frustrating for yah? Jubes just because we may not think yah can do something doesn't mean yah shouldn't. 'Sides wouldn't yah love to see the look on M's face if you did that. I mean she's no where near where you are."
"Yeah I guess that part would be okay. She'd like totally go catatonic." Jubilee smiled.
"Jubilee we like yah because of who yah are, not because of what we think yah are. Yah know that right. Yah can tell me anything."
"Yeah, its just something from a very long time ago. From before I left home. So have you figured out what you're going to do for the talent show? I heard Angelo taking earlier and he's thinking about doing a rap type thing."
Paige knew better then to push for something Jubilee wanted to keep hidden. She decided instead just to go with this new subject.
"That would be, well…Normal wouldn't it? Doesn't he do that all the time anyway?"
"Paige we've been living together for two years I really don't think we have any hidden talents left."
"I would have said that too, but yah showed me a talent I didn't know yah had." Jubilee took a breath to speak but Paige cut her off. "I won't tell anyone. If yah had wanted them to know yah would have done that in class. Night, see yah in the morning." Paige crawled into her bed and turned off her light. Similarly Jubilee climbed into her bed and turned off her light but it was awhile before she was able to fall asleep.
She had realized something that night. She wasn't happy. She wanted to be but she wasn't. It seemed like the more she tried to be normal and happy the less she was. ~Maybe it's time to stop trying so hard. Maybe it's time to stop fighting who I am~ Drifting off to sleep that night she had made one decision, she wasn't going to fake her gymnastics the next day.