After she had searched his room, the danger room and the gym she figured that he was probably roaming the grounds. The easiest why to find him then was to go to the roof for an aerial view.
"What are you doing up here?" Jane asked surprised to see Rogue sitting up on the roof.
"Ah could ask ya'll the same question."
"I'm looking for Logan I promised to talk to him today. I know he never comes up her but it's easier to spot him on the grounds from up here."
"Ah come here when Ah need to think, or want to be alone."
"What cha thinking 'bout, or you want me to take off?"
"No stay. Ah guess what yah are doing kinda struck a cord in me. Ah mean I get it you know, Ah understand the way you feel. We did the same thing just fo' different reasons."
"I always wondered why you never tell anyone about your real name. Logan can't remember his I wanted to be someone else. You talk about your childhood you don't want to be someone else. So why go to the trouble?"
"It keeps me safe. Makes it easier."
"How? How can having to hide who you are be easier?"
"Same way keeping a distance from people does. The closer people get, the more they know about me, the more Ah know about hem the harder it gets to be alone."
"I still don't understand."
"Jane Think about how yah act with Paige or Jono or Everett. How many times do yah pat their backs of shake their hand or put a hand on their shoulder? How often do they do them to yah? I can't do that, not with out worrying. The further away Ah stay the easier it is not to touch." Tears slowly cascaded down Rogue's face.
"I'm sorry, I never figured. I knew it had to be hard but you never seem to care."
"Looks can be deceiving, you should know that."
"I guess we have something in common huh?" Jane sat down next to Rogue looking straight ahead in to the distance.
"What's that?" Rogue looked over a t Jane then looked straight a head again and off into the distance.
"We both have abilities that alienate us from people, abilities that caused us to run off."
"I guess, yah felt alone cause of yahr talent?"
"Yeah, people put me up on a pedestal. It's hard to make friend when everybody is five feet away. I don't think it's so much the talent as how people re-act to it."
"People see something different so they alienate it or put it on a pedestal. I suppose it doesn't matter if the five feet is vertical or horizontal it still hurts."
"Can I ask you something?"
"Sure."
"When it's all said and done, if given the chance would you change it. If you could go back be a teenager again not have powers, no absorption, no super strength, and no flying, but be home and with your family. A chance to grow up in Mississippi, would you take it?"
"Ah'd love to say yes and for a long time Ah would have. But knowing what Ah know, having met so many people, been so many places, seen so many things. Something tells me if Ah had stayed Ah would have been looking down the road and wondering what was out there."
"Devil you know is better then the devil you don't kind of thing huh?" Jubilee remarked distractedly.
"Yeah, what about yah? If yah could go back never have started gymnastics stayed at home would yah?
"I think my parents would have found something else. Even with out the gymnastics I'd have probably still run away. Even if I could go back I don't think I could have changed anything."
"Yah wanna know something it took me my entire life and lot of frustration to figure out?"
"What's that?"
"A person is going ta be who their going ta be, and sometimes yah just can't do nothing change that even in yahrself. Sometimes a person's gotta do something to get what they need, even when they don't know what they need."
"I guess I needed to run away and become Jubilee to get "Popeye'."
"What?" Rouge looked over at Jane completely confused.
"I am what I am, and that's all that I am!" Jane smiled and looked a Rogue " I thought that Jubilee was exactly what I wanted, exactly what I needed to be. But I just needed to learn how to be comfortable with myself. I probably I still have away to go with that. But"
"It's a hell of a lot easier to get used to yahrself as yahrself, huh?"
"Yeah, did you ever try to be some one else?"
"No, not really Ah couldn't change my problem so changing who Ah was wouldn't have done nothin'." They both sat on the roof looking out into the distance for sometime before they spoke again.
Rogue broke the silence, "So what happens to Jubilee?"
"I don't know I guess if I stop being her she', just go away."
"Does that bother yah?"
"It didn't completely suck to be her. I don't think was always acting when I was her. Wanna hear something really weird."
"What?"
"I don't feel like I'm making a major change. It's more like I'm throwing away my security blanket."
"That's what being someone else is, even if it's only the name. It keeps yah safe from people."
Just then Logan roared up the drive on his bike. "There's Logan, I should go. Thanks Rogue!"
"No Problem, good luck Jane!" Rogue called after Jane as she left. Then more quietly to herself, "Ah wish I had your courage."
"What are you doing up here?" Jane asked surprised to see Rogue sitting up on the roof.
"Ah could ask ya'll the same question."
"I'm looking for Logan I promised to talk to him today. I know he never comes up her but it's easier to spot him on the grounds from up here."
"Ah come here when Ah need to think, or want to be alone."
"What cha thinking 'bout, or you want me to take off?"
"No stay. Ah guess what yah are doing kinda struck a cord in me. Ah mean I get it you know, Ah understand the way you feel. We did the same thing just fo' different reasons."
"I always wondered why you never tell anyone about your real name. Logan can't remember his I wanted to be someone else. You talk about your childhood you don't want to be someone else. So why go to the trouble?"
"It keeps me safe. Makes it easier."
"How? How can having to hide who you are be easier?"
"Same way keeping a distance from people does. The closer people get, the more they know about me, the more Ah know about hem the harder it gets to be alone."
"I still don't understand."
"Jane Think about how yah act with Paige or Jono or Everett. How many times do yah pat their backs of shake their hand or put a hand on their shoulder? How often do they do them to yah? I can't do that, not with out worrying. The further away Ah stay the easier it is not to touch." Tears slowly cascaded down Rogue's face.
"I'm sorry, I never figured. I knew it had to be hard but you never seem to care."
"Looks can be deceiving, you should know that."
"I guess we have something in common huh?" Jane sat down next to Rogue looking straight ahead in to the distance.
"What's that?" Rogue looked over a t Jane then looked straight a head again and off into the distance.
"We both have abilities that alienate us from people, abilities that caused us to run off."
"I guess, yah felt alone cause of yahr talent?"
"Yeah, people put me up on a pedestal. It's hard to make friend when everybody is five feet away. I don't think it's so much the talent as how people re-act to it."
"People see something different so they alienate it or put it on a pedestal. I suppose it doesn't matter if the five feet is vertical or horizontal it still hurts."
"Can I ask you something?"
"Sure."
"When it's all said and done, if given the chance would you change it. If you could go back be a teenager again not have powers, no absorption, no super strength, and no flying, but be home and with your family. A chance to grow up in Mississippi, would you take it?"
"Ah'd love to say yes and for a long time Ah would have. But knowing what Ah know, having met so many people, been so many places, seen so many things. Something tells me if Ah had stayed Ah would have been looking down the road and wondering what was out there."
"Devil you know is better then the devil you don't kind of thing huh?" Jubilee remarked distractedly.
"Yeah, what about yah? If yah could go back never have started gymnastics stayed at home would yah?
"I think my parents would have found something else. Even with out the gymnastics I'd have probably still run away. Even if I could go back I don't think I could have changed anything."
"Yah wanna know something it took me my entire life and lot of frustration to figure out?"
"What's that?"
"A person is going ta be who their going ta be, and sometimes yah just can't do nothing change that even in yahrself. Sometimes a person's gotta do something to get what they need, even when they don't know what they need."
"I guess I needed to run away and become Jubilee to get "Popeye'."
"What?" Rouge looked over at Jane completely confused.
"I am what I am, and that's all that I am!" Jane smiled and looked a Rogue " I thought that Jubilee was exactly what I wanted, exactly what I needed to be. But I just needed to learn how to be comfortable with myself. I probably I still have away to go with that. But"
"It's a hell of a lot easier to get used to yahrself as yahrself, huh?"
"Yeah, did you ever try to be some one else?"
"No, not really Ah couldn't change my problem so changing who Ah was wouldn't have done nothin'." They both sat on the roof looking out into the distance for sometime before they spoke again.
Rogue broke the silence, "So what happens to Jubilee?"
"I don't know I guess if I stop being her she', just go away."
"Does that bother yah?"
"It didn't completely suck to be her. I don't think was always acting when I was her. Wanna hear something really weird."
"What?"
"I don't feel like I'm making a major change. It's more like I'm throwing away my security blanket."
"That's what being someone else is, even if it's only the name. It keeps yah safe from people."
Just then Logan roared up the drive on his bike. "There's Logan, I should go. Thanks Rogue!"
"No Problem, good luck Jane!" Rogue called after Jane as she left. Then more quietly to herself, "Ah wish I had your courage."