Avada Kedavra - The filk/song-fic/thing
By Emerald Bubbles and Heather the were-dingo
AN: Ok, now, before we begin to explain what this is about, Ms Were-dingo
and I would like to claim no ownership of anything in this fic. All
recognisable stuff from the Harry Potter universe belongs to JK Rowling,
the original song this is based on belongs to Mr Tim Rice and Mr Reg Elton
(Elton John), esquires of good song writing, both of them. We would be very
thankful if the aforementioned parties kindly please not sue us for
plagiarism. Ok, now that is over, we can get on with the show! Read, review
and NO FLAMES!!!!
Stay Happy
^_^ (
Our scene opens somewhere in the Riddle Household. Voldemort, Lucius Malfoy, Wormtail and a chorus of Death Eaters are waiting for the curtain to rise and the tape to start rolling..
Lucius: Avada Kedavra, what a wonderful phrase! (Death) Voldie: Avada Kedavra, ain't no passing craze! (Death) Both: It means no Potters for the rest of your days; it's our Potter free philosophy. Lucius: .Avada Kedavra! (Death) Peter: Avada Kedavra? (Death) Voldie: Yeah it's a spell! Peter: What's a spell? Voldie: Never mind.. Peter: (blank expression) .Um. Voldie: You know kid; these two words will solve all your problems! Lucius: That's right, take Voldie for example! Why, when he was a young Dark Lord! Voldie: (in rich tenor, and sounding very unlike his usual self) When I was a young Dark Lord!!!!! Lucius: (clearing out his ear with finger) Very nice! Voldie: Thanks Lucius: He found this new spell had a certain appeal; he could empty a village after every meal. Voldie: (interrupting) I'm a sensitive soul, though I seem stonehearted. And it hurt that my friends never stepped away. AND OH THE SHAME!!!! Lucius: Yes he was ashamed! Voldie: That's why I changed my name! Lucius: Oh to what sort of name? Voldie: And I got down hearted. Lucius: How did you feel? Voldie: Every time that I. Lucius: (clapping his hand over Voldie's mouth) Whoa, hold it, not in front of the kids! Voldie: (sheepish) Oh, sorry! Both: Avada Kedavra, what a wonderful phrase! Avada Kedavra, ain't no passing craze! (Death, Death) Peter: (joining in) It means no Potters for the rest of your days! Lucius: Yeah sing it rat! Both: It's our Potter free. Voldie: Philosophy! All: Avada Kedavra! (Death, very slowly. Peter, Lucius and Voldie freeze while holding dramatic poses) Peter: (looking around) Hey what happened to the chorus? Snape: (offside) You killed them all, dunderhead! All: Oh. Voldie: Hey do you wanna go for some pizza? Others: Yeah, ok.
All walk off whistling loudly and doing their best to look completely innocent, leaving bodies of chorus all over the floor.
ThE eNd
Cast
Voldemort: Voldie Lucius: Himself Wormtail: Peter Snape: Offside critic AKA Himself
COMMENTARIES
Lucius: I didn't know Voldie did that after every meal! Why didn't he invite me? (heartbrokenly) I need a hug!
Voldie: That was fun, but next time Potter has to be in the chorus!
Peter: I thought I saw Sirius and Remus in the chorus.WHOOHOO! They died! I'M FREEEE!!!!!! (runs off into wall and falls to the ground, nursing his head)
Snape: That sucked. There should've been more me!
Dead People: WE HATE YOU VOLDIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (return to their previous occupation of being deceased on the floor)
THE REAL END!!!!! ^-6
Our scene opens somewhere in the Riddle Household. Voldemort, Lucius Malfoy, Wormtail and a chorus of Death Eaters are waiting for the curtain to rise and the tape to start rolling..
Lucius: Avada Kedavra, what a wonderful phrase! (Death) Voldie: Avada Kedavra, ain't no passing craze! (Death) Both: It means no Potters for the rest of your days; it's our Potter free philosophy. Lucius: .Avada Kedavra! (Death) Peter: Avada Kedavra? (Death) Voldie: Yeah it's a spell! Peter: What's a spell? Voldie: Never mind.. Peter: (blank expression) .Um. Voldie: You know kid; these two words will solve all your problems! Lucius: That's right, take Voldie for example! Why, when he was a young Dark Lord! Voldie: (in rich tenor, and sounding very unlike his usual self) When I was a young Dark Lord!!!!! Lucius: (clearing out his ear with finger) Very nice! Voldie: Thanks Lucius: He found this new spell had a certain appeal; he could empty a village after every meal. Voldie: (interrupting) I'm a sensitive soul, though I seem stonehearted. And it hurt that my friends never stepped away. AND OH THE SHAME!!!! Lucius: Yes he was ashamed! Voldie: That's why I changed my name! Lucius: Oh to what sort of name? Voldie: And I got down hearted. Lucius: How did you feel? Voldie: Every time that I. Lucius: (clapping his hand over Voldie's mouth) Whoa, hold it, not in front of the kids! Voldie: (sheepish) Oh, sorry! Both: Avada Kedavra, what a wonderful phrase! Avada Kedavra, ain't no passing craze! (Death, Death) Peter: (joining in) It means no Potters for the rest of your days! Lucius: Yeah sing it rat! Both: It's our Potter free. Voldie: Philosophy! All: Avada Kedavra! (Death, very slowly. Peter, Lucius and Voldie freeze while holding dramatic poses) Peter: (looking around) Hey what happened to the chorus? Snape: (offside) You killed them all, dunderhead! All: Oh. Voldie: Hey do you wanna go for some pizza? Others: Yeah, ok.
All walk off whistling loudly and doing their best to look completely innocent, leaving bodies of chorus all over the floor.
ThE eNd
Cast
Voldemort: Voldie Lucius: Himself Wormtail: Peter Snape: Offside critic AKA Himself
COMMENTARIES
Lucius: I didn't know Voldie did that after every meal! Why didn't he invite me? (heartbrokenly) I need a hug!
Voldie: That was fun, but next time Potter has to be in the chorus!
Peter: I thought I saw Sirius and Remus in the chorus.WHOOHOO! They died! I'M FREEEE!!!!!! (runs off into wall and falls to the ground, nursing his head)
Snape: That sucked. There should've been more me!
Dead People: WE HATE YOU VOLDIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (return to their previous occupation of being deceased on the floor)
THE REAL END!!!!! ^-6