Epilogue Part Two
Thoughts of the Snake
She mounts my horse in front of me. Her balance and stance is perfect. Of course, she has been handling horses since she was old enough to name one. I put my arms around her waist to hold the reins. Such simple joy from such simple contact! I am puzzled. Why does she let me touch her so? Why should she allow me, pale and twisted as I am to caress her, to hold her, to kiss her?
Part of me still suspects some trickery. If she has fooled me...I will hurt her. I will make her suffer.
I tense my hands on the reins, and my clenched fists dig into her stomach slightly, yet she does not complain. What is this strange submission?
We ride in silence towards Orthanc. There is fear growing in me. What if my master should be angry? Will he cast her out? Will he give her to the orcs? I am putting her in terrible danger. I am so selfish! All this so I can posses her, have her close to me while I sleep... Such self-indulgence will not go unpunished, I know it.
Perhaps Saruman will beat me again, and he will not be gentle. Let him beat me, but if he lays but one finger on Ina I will...I know not what I will do. I know not what I could do! Curse my frail body and pale skin! It shows every blow, every mark, exposing my weakness.
She lays her hands on mine. So sweet and so strange, this un-self-conscious touch. Night falls. I do not fear the orcs, they will not cross their master. I would not cross my master either, and yet here I am doing exactly that. I fear for her life more than my own. I do not think my master would kill me, but he may hurt her, to punish me...
Why did I bring her at all?! Have I taken leave of my senses? She was safe in Edoras, at least for the moment. Nowhere in Rohan will be safe before the week is out, but there is no reason to believe she will be any safer in Isengard.
She seems to sense my thought. Perhaps she feels my muscles tense, my body stiffen in fear and rage. She leans back against me and holds her hands over mine.
And I think...that I know why I brought her. She has been kind to me…she has made me feel warm, for the first time in years, perhaps, but more than that. Could it be because I love her? I have loved no one...almost no one for so many years, maybe never truly in my life. Why should I feel it for this girl? This woman?
Perhaps we are both the same.
Thoughts of the Snake
She mounts my horse in front of me. Her balance and stance is perfect. Of course, she has been handling horses since she was old enough to name one. I put my arms around her waist to hold the reins. Such simple joy from such simple contact! I am puzzled. Why does she let me touch her so? Why should she allow me, pale and twisted as I am to caress her, to hold her, to kiss her?
Part of me still suspects some trickery. If she has fooled me...I will hurt her. I will make her suffer.
I tense my hands on the reins, and my clenched fists dig into her stomach slightly, yet she does not complain. What is this strange submission?
We ride in silence towards Orthanc. There is fear growing in me. What if my master should be angry? Will he cast her out? Will he give her to the orcs? I am putting her in terrible danger. I am so selfish! All this so I can posses her, have her close to me while I sleep... Such self-indulgence will not go unpunished, I know it.
Perhaps Saruman will beat me again, and he will not be gentle. Let him beat me, but if he lays but one finger on Ina I will...I know not what I will do. I know not what I could do! Curse my frail body and pale skin! It shows every blow, every mark, exposing my weakness.
She lays her hands on mine. So sweet and so strange, this un-self-conscious touch. Night falls. I do not fear the orcs, they will not cross their master. I would not cross my master either, and yet here I am doing exactly that. I fear for her life more than my own. I do not think my master would kill me, but he may hurt her, to punish me...
Why did I bring her at all?! Have I taken leave of my senses? She was safe in Edoras, at least for the moment. Nowhere in Rohan will be safe before the week is out, but there is no reason to believe she will be any safer in Isengard.
She seems to sense my thought. Perhaps she feels my muscles tense, my body stiffen in fear and rage. She leans back against me and holds her hands over mine.
And I think...that I know why I brought her. She has been kind to me…she has made me feel warm, for the first time in years, perhaps, but more than that. Could it be because I love her? I have loved no one...almost no one for so many years, maybe never truly in my life. Why should I feel it for this girl? This woman?
Perhaps we are both the same.