Hey again, everybody, It's me again, Ravenheart presenting for Comment,
Criticism, or even flame, Chapter 2 of 'Without You'
I honestly didn't know if I was going to continue this fic or not, but after listening to 'Without You' by Digital Allies again, I figured that readers would want to know something about what happened before and after the songfic I posted.
Anyway, without further delay, I give you Neon Genesis Evangelion: Without You.
Disclaimer: I don't own Evangelion. If I did I'd be a lot richer than I am now and would not have ended it the way it was.
Neon Genesis Evangelion: Without You
Chapter 2
Shinji was sitting on a catwalk just outside of Unit-01's cage. The whole space below the catwalk had been filled with the bakelite fluid which had solidified and immobilized all the machinery holding Unit-01 in place. The same red substance had also formed trails on the walls where it had been released. Over the loudspeakers, Asuka's desperate battle against the nine white production-model Evangelions could be heard.
"I WON'T LOOSE!!! MAMA'S WAITING FOR ME!!!!"
Shinji had been sitting there for a while; completely resigned to the fact that there was nothing he could do to help his comrade. However, that didn't mean that he didn't want or feel like he needed to help her.
"Mama. Okasan. Help me."
At this comment, along with more screaming from the comm system, a loud groaning sound could be heard throughout the entire cage. Then fissures began to form in the bakelite as the groaning continued to get louder. Soon, the whole of the bakelite shattered as a huge purple arm thrust itself out of the restraints and towards the catwalk upon which Shinji had seated himself.
The giant bio-mechanical hand of the beast known as Unit-01 crashed into the wall next to the catwalk, sending debris flying in all directions, but left Shinji unharmed, if not shaken. As the hand crashed into the platform beneath him, Shinji had reflexively curled up into a ball.
After everything had settled down, Shinji slowly lifted his head from where he had buried it in his knees to see Unit-01's arm jutting out from the now mangled restraints of the Eva cage. The Eva had somehow moved of its own accord and broken loose of its restraints. Still sitting there staring, Shinji began to wonder how this was possible until he remembered what he had said just before Unit-01 broke free.
"Mother."
--------------------------------
On the surface, Asuka was fighting valiantly against the last production- model Evangelion. She had punched straight through one of the other Evas in the process. Just as she began pushing forward burying her Eva's fist into the white Evangelion, a tremendous roar was heard from deep underground. Shortly after that, a gigantic explosion rocked the entire base as Unit-01 activated using its S2 organ.
Asuka stopped her assault for a short time as she watched the purple Evangelion rise up out of the maelstrom it had created on two wings of red- orange light.
As she watched the Eva rise up into the sky, an alert popped up in her field of vision alerting her to an incoming object. She willed her Eva to turn and expanded her AT Field right in the path of one of the double-edged swords that the nine white Evas had been using.
When the sword impacted her AT Field, instead of falling to the ground, it hovered in mid air at the point it had hit the barrier of her soul. However, this reprieve was not to last long as before her eyes, the sword twisted and reformed itself into a shape she recognized well, the Lance of Longinus. After changing form, the lance began to push against her AT Field. It continued to push until finally, it broke through the only barrier between it and its target.
--------------------------------
Shinji watched from his entry plug as his Eva soared higher and higher into the sky. Far below him, he could see the remnants of seven Evangelions scattered all over the geofront. In another section of the geofront, not too far from where he had emerged from the NERV pyramid at the heart of the geofront, he could see the red form of Unit-02 standing with the other two production-model Evangelions. He could also see that one of the white evas was upside-down and impaled on Unit-02's arm as Asuka pushed its fist into the white Eva behind the first.
The next thing Shinji saw was a large object flying toward Unit-02. He was about to go and stop it himself when he saw Unit-02's AT Field expand in front of the projectile. As he watched, the object hit the field and stayed suspended in mid air until it changed shape into something he had seen only once before.
Remembering what it had done to the fifteenth angel, Shinji willed his Eva to swoop down to where Unit-02 was standing warding off the lance as best it could with its rapidly weakening AT Field. However, as he flew down, intending to grab at the lance as soon as he was within range, he saw the lance break through the barrier. At this moment, all rational thought left Shinji Ikari.
--------------------------------
With blinding speed, Unit-01 dove down to land hard between Unit-02 and the lance. But just as it straightened up again, the lance buried itself into the purple behemoth's chest. With a roar of pain, anger, and sorrow, Unit- 01 pulled the lance out of its chest and wielded it in both hands as it scanned the area for the entity that had thrown it.
It wasn't long before the Eva found what it was looking for: one of the white Evangelions was crouched on the ground kneeling on what appeared to be one good leg and one that was severed at the knee. With another roar, the purple beast leapt into the air and came down upon the unprepared Evangelion with all its strength, running the lance clean through the white Eva's midsection. On its way through, the lance struck the white Eva's S2 organ, causing the monstrous machine to come to a complete halt.
Leaving the lance imbedded in the unmoving Eva, Unit-01 turned on its heel until it was facing a now slumped Unit-02 and a grinning white Eva. As it took in the sight of the hideous white Evangelion, Unit-01's eyes narrowed until they were only slits of white light behind the armored helm of the Eva.
[I think I'm going to end the battle scene right there due to EXTREMELY graphic content. As in, more graphic than the last images of Unit-02 in the movies]
After disposing of the final production-model Evangelion, Unit-01 stood triumphant in the middle of the now blood-soaked geofront. With a final roar of victory, the demon's eyes faded into a black nothingness and the Eva's posture slumped as it cut off its S2 organ.
--------------------------------
Black. That was all the Third Child, Shinji Ikari could see. An empty expanse of nothingness. How long he had been there, he couldn't tell. All he knew for certain was that he was alone, completely and utterly alone.
At first, the feeling was welcome. But after a while, the silence began to overwhelm him. The silence was beginning to drive him mad. After dwelling on this fact for who knows how long since time had no meaning in this place, Shinji could hear music coming from somewhere and everywhere in the void.
At first, the music was too faint for him to identify what the song was. But as he listened, the music began a slow, but definite increase in volume until Shinji could hear it clearly. After a few bars of the music played, Shinji was able to identify the piece: it was Beethoven's "Moonlight Sonata"
[If you haven't heard this piece before, I suggest you go and find it. It is a very moving piece of music that can inspire many things]
Unfortunately, the music did not have a positive effect on the boy. All it did was drive him further into despair. As he attempted to shut out the music, it slowly faded away until it was no longer be heard.
Again, Shinji was alone in the silent darkness without even a floor to orient himself to. As he floated there, he began to hear more things. At first, it was only a whisper of sound, but it slowly gained strength until he could clearly make out various voices of people he knew. The first voice he could clearly recognize was Misato's. Although he couldn't make out what was said exactly, he could still understand the message. She was congratulating him for something, but also asking him to come back.
"Come back from where? I have no idea where I am to begin with."
Next was a voice he vaguely remembered in his personal void. The voice did not seem to be directed toward him, but rather just going about her business. Shinji finally placed the voice as belonging to one Ritsuko Akagi. She was apparently talking to someone else because none of what she was talking about had any meaning to Shinji. Therefore, he could not understand a single thing she had said.
However, even though he could not understand what she had said, he was able to determine by the sheer fact that he was hearing her talking to someone else that he was in some form of coma in a hospital or NERV's infirmary.
After Ritsuko's voice faded, it was a long time before he heard another. Again, he had no way of judging time in this void of a world. But when he did, he knew that not much time had passed. Like with the other voices he had heard, he could not understand the words, but if the words were meant for him and about things he would understand he could find their meaning. This was a voice he knew well, but never thought he'd hear this way. It sounded almost distraught.lost.lonely.just like him. The voice also spoke words of caring and hope but Shinji could tell that the owner of this voice was trying to convince themselves of these things as well.
It was also a voice he hadn't heard much of in the last days before he found himself in that bleak expanse of black. The voice also asked for forgiveness for past actions and treatment.
_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_ Story break
My questions are:
How far do I take the void scene?
A: End it soon, it's already gone on for too long
B: Take it a little longer, it can be used for a couple of other things but not much farther than that
C: Continue it until you can't think of anything else to put in.
How should I handle Asuka finding out about Shinji being awake (Remember, she has feelings for him now that she HAS admitted to herself)?
A: Nurses rushing past her toward Shinji's room as she walks down the hall
B: Phone Call
C: Misato
D: Other: ________________________________________________
Anyway, Pending reader opinion, here's a sample of what I have in mind:
_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_
After a while had passed, the voice faded just like all the others before it. Time passed. Again and again, Shinji heard the same voices over and over. Often with long (Even in Shinji's state) periods of time between them.
Finally, Shinji heard a voice that had become the most common of all the voices that had made their presences known to him. It spoke to him in soft, caring tones. Not the mean-spirited, teasing one he had grown so used to over the last year an a half with her. The voice spoke to him of loneliness, of regret, of repentance, and of hope.
This voice pulled at his very soul. To him, it was like a beacon cutting through a thick fog, guiding him home. While all he could see was still darkness, he could feel the area around him changing somehow. He didn't know exactly what it was, but he decided that the best word for it would be 'warmer'.
Eventually, even the darkness began to lighten. It wasn't very much, but for someone who had spent so much time in total, all encompassing darkness, even a small change made a world of difference. [Please forgive the bad pun, but I couldn't think of any other way to describe it]
Then Shinji heard a door close softly. This sound triggered a realization in his mind that made him notice all his other senses. First was touch, he felt the course texture of fabric beneath him and on top of him. He also could feel a slight breeze flow gently across his face and bare arms. This brought him to his sense of smell. The first thing that he smelled was the near-overpowering smell of antiseptics. However, there was something else.Something that he hadn't smelled for what seemed an eternity.
'Asuka.'
Opening his eyes, he was nearly blinded by the bright sunlight entering the room from the large floor to ceiling windows that made up one entire wall of the hospital room. Once his eyes had adjusted to the light, he had half expected to see the fiery redhead sitting by the bed glaring at him. When he saw that he was alone in the room, he let out a sigh of both relief and disappointment.
Slowly, Shinji turned his head and looked out the windows to the left of his bed. Outside, he could see parts of a shattered city being put back together again. There were some buildings that had been completely restored, while others were still only partially completed or only just being started on.
--------------------------------
Asuka was walking down the hallway of the NERV hospital, away from Shinji's room toward more of Ritsuko's incessant Sync testing. Her auburn hair swaying from side to side as it trailed behind her.
'You would think that that woman would figure out that after three years that the Angels probably won't come back and there won't be a world war. She could also let me spend more time with Shinji.'
As she was thinking this, a group of nurses rushed past her down the hall she had just come from. As they pass, Asuka turns and watches them recede down the hallway.
After a few moments of standing there staring after the nurses, Asuka finally puts two and two together and starts racing after them back to Shinji's room.
--------------------------------
Shinji was attempting to sit up in bed when a group of nurses burst into the room and started to try and keep him from doing just that. As they were telling him to just stay on the bed, he started to look around the room again.
As he was looking around, he saw the heart monitoring machine graphing the beats of his heart using the data supplied to it through the sensors stuck to his chest. As he continued to survey the room, he saw that there was little else there.
When his eyes passed the door however, he saw something that he never thought he'd see in his lifetime. Asuka, standing there in the door in her school uniform with her eyes wide in surprise. If he didn't know any better, he would have sworn that she was about to faint from shock.
"Shinji?"
Shinji's mouth opened, but all that came out was a hoarse rasping sound.
[Sorry about that, I read a fic where Asuka had this problem after waking up after a few years and figured it'd work well here. Kudos to the author who came up with that idea, but it was just too good to pass up]
End Version 1 preview here, to be continued pending reader review.
I honestly didn't know if I was going to continue this fic or not, but after listening to 'Without You' by Digital Allies again, I figured that readers would want to know something about what happened before and after the songfic I posted.
Anyway, without further delay, I give you Neon Genesis Evangelion: Without You.
Disclaimer: I don't own Evangelion. If I did I'd be a lot richer than I am now and would not have ended it the way it was.
Neon Genesis Evangelion: Without You
Chapter 2
Shinji was sitting on a catwalk just outside of Unit-01's cage. The whole space below the catwalk had been filled with the bakelite fluid which had solidified and immobilized all the machinery holding Unit-01 in place. The same red substance had also formed trails on the walls where it had been released. Over the loudspeakers, Asuka's desperate battle against the nine white production-model Evangelions could be heard.
"I WON'T LOOSE!!! MAMA'S WAITING FOR ME!!!!"
Shinji had been sitting there for a while; completely resigned to the fact that there was nothing he could do to help his comrade. However, that didn't mean that he didn't want or feel like he needed to help her.
"Mama. Okasan. Help me."
At this comment, along with more screaming from the comm system, a loud groaning sound could be heard throughout the entire cage. Then fissures began to form in the bakelite as the groaning continued to get louder. Soon, the whole of the bakelite shattered as a huge purple arm thrust itself out of the restraints and towards the catwalk upon which Shinji had seated himself.
The giant bio-mechanical hand of the beast known as Unit-01 crashed into the wall next to the catwalk, sending debris flying in all directions, but left Shinji unharmed, if not shaken. As the hand crashed into the platform beneath him, Shinji had reflexively curled up into a ball.
After everything had settled down, Shinji slowly lifted his head from where he had buried it in his knees to see Unit-01's arm jutting out from the now mangled restraints of the Eva cage. The Eva had somehow moved of its own accord and broken loose of its restraints. Still sitting there staring, Shinji began to wonder how this was possible until he remembered what he had said just before Unit-01 broke free.
"Mother."
--------------------------------
On the surface, Asuka was fighting valiantly against the last production- model Evangelion. She had punched straight through one of the other Evas in the process. Just as she began pushing forward burying her Eva's fist into the white Evangelion, a tremendous roar was heard from deep underground. Shortly after that, a gigantic explosion rocked the entire base as Unit-01 activated using its S2 organ.
Asuka stopped her assault for a short time as she watched the purple Evangelion rise up out of the maelstrom it had created on two wings of red- orange light.
As she watched the Eva rise up into the sky, an alert popped up in her field of vision alerting her to an incoming object. She willed her Eva to turn and expanded her AT Field right in the path of one of the double-edged swords that the nine white Evas had been using.
When the sword impacted her AT Field, instead of falling to the ground, it hovered in mid air at the point it had hit the barrier of her soul. However, this reprieve was not to last long as before her eyes, the sword twisted and reformed itself into a shape she recognized well, the Lance of Longinus. After changing form, the lance began to push against her AT Field. It continued to push until finally, it broke through the only barrier between it and its target.
--------------------------------
Shinji watched from his entry plug as his Eva soared higher and higher into the sky. Far below him, he could see the remnants of seven Evangelions scattered all over the geofront. In another section of the geofront, not too far from where he had emerged from the NERV pyramid at the heart of the geofront, he could see the red form of Unit-02 standing with the other two production-model Evangelions. He could also see that one of the white evas was upside-down and impaled on Unit-02's arm as Asuka pushed its fist into the white Eva behind the first.
The next thing Shinji saw was a large object flying toward Unit-02. He was about to go and stop it himself when he saw Unit-02's AT Field expand in front of the projectile. As he watched, the object hit the field and stayed suspended in mid air until it changed shape into something he had seen only once before.
Remembering what it had done to the fifteenth angel, Shinji willed his Eva to swoop down to where Unit-02 was standing warding off the lance as best it could with its rapidly weakening AT Field. However, as he flew down, intending to grab at the lance as soon as he was within range, he saw the lance break through the barrier. At this moment, all rational thought left Shinji Ikari.
--------------------------------
With blinding speed, Unit-01 dove down to land hard between Unit-02 and the lance. But just as it straightened up again, the lance buried itself into the purple behemoth's chest. With a roar of pain, anger, and sorrow, Unit- 01 pulled the lance out of its chest and wielded it in both hands as it scanned the area for the entity that had thrown it.
It wasn't long before the Eva found what it was looking for: one of the white Evangelions was crouched on the ground kneeling on what appeared to be one good leg and one that was severed at the knee. With another roar, the purple beast leapt into the air and came down upon the unprepared Evangelion with all its strength, running the lance clean through the white Eva's midsection. On its way through, the lance struck the white Eva's S2 organ, causing the monstrous machine to come to a complete halt.
Leaving the lance imbedded in the unmoving Eva, Unit-01 turned on its heel until it was facing a now slumped Unit-02 and a grinning white Eva. As it took in the sight of the hideous white Evangelion, Unit-01's eyes narrowed until they were only slits of white light behind the armored helm of the Eva.
[I think I'm going to end the battle scene right there due to EXTREMELY graphic content. As in, more graphic than the last images of Unit-02 in the movies]
After disposing of the final production-model Evangelion, Unit-01 stood triumphant in the middle of the now blood-soaked geofront. With a final roar of victory, the demon's eyes faded into a black nothingness and the Eva's posture slumped as it cut off its S2 organ.
--------------------------------
Black. That was all the Third Child, Shinji Ikari could see. An empty expanse of nothingness. How long he had been there, he couldn't tell. All he knew for certain was that he was alone, completely and utterly alone.
At first, the feeling was welcome. But after a while, the silence began to overwhelm him. The silence was beginning to drive him mad. After dwelling on this fact for who knows how long since time had no meaning in this place, Shinji could hear music coming from somewhere and everywhere in the void.
At first, the music was too faint for him to identify what the song was. But as he listened, the music began a slow, but definite increase in volume until Shinji could hear it clearly. After a few bars of the music played, Shinji was able to identify the piece: it was Beethoven's "Moonlight Sonata"
[If you haven't heard this piece before, I suggest you go and find it. It is a very moving piece of music that can inspire many things]
Unfortunately, the music did not have a positive effect on the boy. All it did was drive him further into despair. As he attempted to shut out the music, it slowly faded away until it was no longer be heard.
Again, Shinji was alone in the silent darkness without even a floor to orient himself to. As he floated there, he began to hear more things. At first, it was only a whisper of sound, but it slowly gained strength until he could clearly make out various voices of people he knew. The first voice he could clearly recognize was Misato's. Although he couldn't make out what was said exactly, he could still understand the message. She was congratulating him for something, but also asking him to come back.
"Come back from where? I have no idea where I am to begin with."
Next was a voice he vaguely remembered in his personal void. The voice did not seem to be directed toward him, but rather just going about her business. Shinji finally placed the voice as belonging to one Ritsuko Akagi. She was apparently talking to someone else because none of what she was talking about had any meaning to Shinji. Therefore, he could not understand a single thing she had said.
However, even though he could not understand what she had said, he was able to determine by the sheer fact that he was hearing her talking to someone else that he was in some form of coma in a hospital or NERV's infirmary.
After Ritsuko's voice faded, it was a long time before he heard another. Again, he had no way of judging time in this void of a world. But when he did, he knew that not much time had passed. Like with the other voices he had heard, he could not understand the words, but if the words were meant for him and about things he would understand he could find their meaning. This was a voice he knew well, but never thought he'd hear this way. It sounded almost distraught.lost.lonely.just like him. The voice also spoke words of caring and hope but Shinji could tell that the owner of this voice was trying to convince themselves of these things as well.
It was also a voice he hadn't heard much of in the last days before he found himself in that bleak expanse of black. The voice also asked for forgiveness for past actions and treatment.
_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_ Story break
My questions are:
How far do I take the void scene?
A: End it soon, it's already gone on for too long
B: Take it a little longer, it can be used for a couple of other things but not much farther than that
C: Continue it until you can't think of anything else to put in.
How should I handle Asuka finding out about Shinji being awake (Remember, she has feelings for him now that she HAS admitted to herself)?
A: Nurses rushing past her toward Shinji's room as she walks down the hall
B: Phone Call
C: Misato
D: Other: ________________________________________________
Anyway, Pending reader opinion, here's a sample of what I have in mind:
_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_
After a while had passed, the voice faded just like all the others before it. Time passed. Again and again, Shinji heard the same voices over and over. Often with long (Even in Shinji's state) periods of time between them.
Finally, Shinji heard a voice that had become the most common of all the voices that had made their presences known to him. It spoke to him in soft, caring tones. Not the mean-spirited, teasing one he had grown so used to over the last year an a half with her. The voice spoke to him of loneliness, of regret, of repentance, and of hope.
This voice pulled at his very soul. To him, it was like a beacon cutting through a thick fog, guiding him home. While all he could see was still darkness, he could feel the area around him changing somehow. He didn't know exactly what it was, but he decided that the best word for it would be 'warmer'.
Eventually, even the darkness began to lighten. It wasn't very much, but for someone who had spent so much time in total, all encompassing darkness, even a small change made a world of difference. [Please forgive the bad pun, but I couldn't think of any other way to describe it]
Then Shinji heard a door close softly. This sound triggered a realization in his mind that made him notice all his other senses. First was touch, he felt the course texture of fabric beneath him and on top of him. He also could feel a slight breeze flow gently across his face and bare arms. This brought him to his sense of smell. The first thing that he smelled was the near-overpowering smell of antiseptics. However, there was something else.Something that he hadn't smelled for what seemed an eternity.
'Asuka.'
Opening his eyes, he was nearly blinded by the bright sunlight entering the room from the large floor to ceiling windows that made up one entire wall of the hospital room. Once his eyes had adjusted to the light, he had half expected to see the fiery redhead sitting by the bed glaring at him. When he saw that he was alone in the room, he let out a sigh of both relief and disappointment.
Slowly, Shinji turned his head and looked out the windows to the left of his bed. Outside, he could see parts of a shattered city being put back together again. There were some buildings that had been completely restored, while others were still only partially completed or only just being started on.
--------------------------------
Asuka was walking down the hallway of the NERV hospital, away from Shinji's room toward more of Ritsuko's incessant Sync testing. Her auburn hair swaying from side to side as it trailed behind her.
'You would think that that woman would figure out that after three years that the Angels probably won't come back and there won't be a world war. She could also let me spend more time with Shinji.'
As she was thinking this, a group of nurses rushed past her down the hall she had just come from. As they pass, Asuka turns and watches them recede down the hallway.
After a few moments of standing there staring after the nurses, Asuka finally puts two and two together and starts racing after them back to Shinji's room.
--------------------------------
Shinji was attempting to sit up in bed when a group of nurses burst into the room and started to try and keep him from doing just that. As they were telling him to just stay on the bed, he started to look around the room again.
As he was looking around, he saw the heart monitoring machine graphing the beats of his heart using the data supplied to it through the sensors stuck to his chest. As he continued to survey the room, he saw that there was little else there.
When his eyes passed the door however, he saw something that he never thought he'd see in his lifetime. Asuka, standing there in the door in her school uniform with her eyes wide in surprise. If he didn't know any better, he would have sworn that she was about to faint from shock.
"Shinji?"
Shinji's mouth opened, but all that came out was a hoarse rasping sound.
[Sorry about that, I read a fic where Asuka had this problem after waking up after a few years and figured it'd work well here. Kudos to the author who came up with that idea, but it was just too good to pass up]
End Version 1 preview here, to be continued pending reader review.