Lute: Well, my blocky friend, you have something jammed in there pretty good. Let's see if we can get -
PzkwV: (emits a Mirage of Princess Rei) 'Help me Okonogi! You're my only hope!'
Lute: What's this?
PzkwV: Guh!
T260G: Answer master!
PzkwV: Guuuuh!
Lute: looking closer ...
PzkwV: 'Help me Okonogi! You're my only hope!'
T260G: Master Lute?
Lute: Guuhh!
* * *
Princess Rei: Lord Rastaban! I thought I smelled a Mystic when I was brought on board!
Rastaban: slap Unlike some, I bathed today!
* * *
Gozarus: Going somewhere, thief?
Locke: That's 'Treasure Hunter', dammit! Look, I'm in a hurry. Tell Dulla I have his credits coming!
Gozarus: It's too late for that, Cole. Now you'll be paying with slivers of your life!
Locke: But I have the money this time!
Gozarus: I'll make you a deal then.
Locke: I've heard that before.
Gozarus: Give me the money, and we go separate ways today.
Locke: What kind of fool would keep ten thousand credits on him? Tell Dulla -
Gozarus: Forget it. Dulla hasn't got time for 'treasure hunters' that go dipping into his shipments.
Locke: snarls That headless horseman isn't the only person I owe money. Have you heard about my alimony payments?
Outtakes and Videologues
Rei: Veni, Mors, veni Reaper!
pause
Trinity: *uneasily* And this is supposed to?
MP: CUT! Where's that Father Time reject?
Camera swivels over to Grim and Dullahan, enjoying some refreshment.
Grim: Provost! *slugs back a large stein of beer*
Dullahan: Oi'll be sec'n'n that, lad! Taime for anoth'r scotch.
MP: Grim!
Grim: I miss-ed mein cue? Verdammt!
* * *
videologue
Zozma: So why ARE you using Latin to summon a German-speaking Death?
MP: The hell of it.
Zozma: So long as there's a reason.
* * *
Trinity Division Leader: DESTROY EVERYTHING! KILL! KILL! KILL!
Gradius 1: Kefka! Is that you?
Trinity Division Leader: Shhh!
* * *
videologue: Leonard entertains the cast by leading his troops in a cadence.
Leonard: Boots are polished to a shine!
Trinity force: Gonna kill some rebel swine!
Leonard: Out in space or on on patrol!
Trinity force: Can't say evil's got no soul!
* * *
Scene: CG of pod jettisoning from the ship. Jump to an exact duplicate of CG on a large viewscreen, being watched by Trinity guards.
Trinity 4: There's another one!
Trinity 5: It's just a model!
* * *
Princess Rei: I don't know what you're talking about. If you want a token, all anyone has to do is ask nicely!
Leonard: Bull! -
Princess Rei: No, really, have one!
Leonard: Oh, well thank you!
cast laughs
Leonard: grand wave You may let her go! I have what *I* want!
* * *
Scene: Jump cut back to original carnage. Most Gradius members lie dead and bleeding. Cue Mondo theme as a large golden Mec stalks through the entrance. Remaining resistance breaks off and retreats. Mec sweeps down the corridor.
and trips.
*CLANG*
Leonard: #&@%!
MP: Maybe I should leave that in.
* * *
Scene: Staticky fade in, quickly focusing on the white-haired casting director. He is sitting in a lounge chair with a champagne glass in one hand. A single word in green letters, VIDEO, blinks out in the upper right corner of the view.
Sariel V: Happy New Year. Or so it should be. I recently discovered that this parody died off at its original home. Takes a long, slow sip from his glass That's what I get for relying on others, I guess.
Zozma: off-camera Tell me you didn't lose anything!
Sariel V: Sweatdrop Sorta... but I did manage to save the missing part from the depths of the abyss!
Zozma: off-camera How did you do that?
Sariel V: Temporary internet files... Got damn lucky. So, for anyone that might be worried, the tale can go on as planned. sips again
Zozma: off-camera You're truly fortunate you dug out that last chapter.
Sariel V: Why's that?
The head of a sledgehammer comes into camera view.
Zozma: Because I'd have to beat you sillier than what I'm about to if you hadn't!
Sariel V: What!?
Scene: View mercifully cuts out to static. A word in green letters, VIDEO, flashes briefly.
Sariel V Humor, LTD. - Bad jokes and -
* * WHACK * *
Sariel V: AGH! Sunnuva -
- Slapstick at their finest!
Copyright 2001-2002