BY NO MEANS does the final fantasy VII cast belong to me…in fact NONE of the ff cast belongs to me but the others don't apply for this fic ne? I'm half asleep right now and elfwood isn't working so I decided to write another stupid final fantasy fan fiction…just cuz they're so easy to manipulate *grins incinuously* I know how this is gonna end, I'm just unsure how long its gonna take me to get there. Well anyway just enjoy chapter one…its short so it shouldn't take long, and maybe I'll work a little bit more on it before I leave the computer ne? ENJOY IN THE STUPIDITY!!!
Cloud's feet dangled restlessly from the bough of the tree she had not so gracefully placed herself in only minutes ago, and she stared off contently towards a flock of wild geese soaring in front of a sun that was now high in the sky. "Ane," she began looking down towards her sister. She was not the prettiest woman in the world…in fact sometimes Cloud wondered if she was even a woman. Her blonde hair stood out quite strikingly against her goggles and strong chin.
"How many times have I told you…call me by my first name…"
"Okay Cid Neesan…" A small vein appeared on the man/woman's forehead.
"What do you want?"
"Do you have to keep reading me all those Haiku? They're so boring!"
"If you want to be a prim and proper cultured girl you must memorize
them…now where was I? Oh yes…The sky is like green, chuck at senile old women, the peanuts in hand."
"What the HELL kind of prim and proper woman memorizes that???" she screamed in response…but alas she remained ignored. As time passed along with many more haiku poems…Cloud fell into a deep sleep. When she awoke, the sun was beginning to set. Her hair glittered like gold in the evening rays of light and sprouted out in many sharp directions in such a way that it might puncture someone's chest and send them off to the ever so dark yami no kuni…land of the dead. She covered her eyes and squinted to make out what she thought was her sister…boy was she wrong!
A funny little rabbit was running incomprehensibly fast across the landscape crying out worriedly. "I'm late. Ohmigosh I'm soooo late! What'll I do? And I didn't even have time to take my skirt to the drycleaners and now it shrunk!!!" She shrieked as she realized she was being watched by our hero Cloud. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU LOOKING AT PERVERT!" She screamed throwing a can of refried beans at her. The rabbits ears peeked out from a long mass of dark brown hair. Her outfit was a very tight fitting mock neck sleeveless shirt, a pair of overalls, and a skirt that had grown three sizes too small apparently from the dryer. Cloud fought a nosebleed and couldn't help but follow her.
"WAIT! Miss Rabbit…" She ran after the lil usagi, who apparently was ignoring her. "HEY I NEEDA KNOW!!! Who are you?"
"The name's Tifa," she whimpered while disappearing down a dark hole. "And I'm ever so late!!!" It was too late…Cloud's curiosity had gotten the better of her and she could no longer hold it in. Soon she found herself also traveling down the dark empty passageway which eventually opened up into a world full shelves and shelves of cheese.
"HOORAY!" She shouted out taking an armload of cheese and eating it, completely oblivious to the fact that the ground had disappeared and she was now plummeting to her doom. "Cheese is the best! Its like god…only yellow!" Finally she hit the bottom…and had she not been so dumb…she would have died. The bright side is she was too dumb to know she was dead…so she stood up, and looked around at the strange room. In the center was a table, and in the center of the table was a large bottle of hard liquor. Attatched to that bottle of liquor was a note which read "eat me" So Cloud did just that. She removed the sign from the bottle and shoved it in her mouth. With a massive passage of gas she found herself no more than an inch tall and discovered a door hiding in the wall.
"Hello Mr. Door," she began, staring at the lifeless hunk of broken watermelon which was serving as a temporary door…the old one was out on a date with its girlfriend, the window from across the way. "MR DOOR!" Cloud tried knocking but the watermelon shattered at her touch…he was deeply hurt inside. "OH NO! I killed Mr. Door!" Cloud wept bitterly but curiosity drove her on and she wandered into the strange unknown world hiding on the other side.
Whelp…that was it so far. A few author's notes…Cid was forced to wear a dress for this fic even though there was no mention of it…if we had described it he probably would have killed us, especially since he had to be Cloud's sister. Cid actually wanted to be cloud's…OUCH!!! Well it looks like he doesn't want me to tell you. Also Cloud looked rather cute in his lil alice in wonderland dress which was also not mentioned…but you can picture it right? Other fun characters will be introduced in later chapters including the drunken mad hatter and the Cheshire cat who rather enjoys stealing shiny objects, purple crayons, and cloud's material. Also more really stupid haiku's to come ^_^
~Centi
Cloud's feet dangled restlessly from the bough of the tree she had not so gracefully placed herself in only minutes ago, and she stared off contently towards a flock of wild geese soaring in front of a sun that was now high in the sky. "Ane," she began looking down towards her sister. She was not the prettiest woman in the world…in fact sometimes Cloud wondered if she was even a woman. Her blonde hair stood out quite strikingly against her goggles and strong chin.
"How many times have I told you…call me by my first name…"
"Okay Cid Neesan…" A small vein appeared on the man/woman's forehead.
"What do you want?"
"Do you have to keep reading me all those Haiku? They're so boring!"
"If you want to be a prim and proper cultured girl you must memorize
them…now where was I? Oh yes…The sky is like green, chuck at senile old women, the peanuts in hand."
"What the HELL kind of prim and proper woman memorizes that???" she screamed in response…but alas she remained ignored. As time passed along with many more haiku poems…Cloud fell into a deep sleep. When she awoke, the sun was beginning to set. Her hair glittered like gold in the evening rays of light and sprouted out in many sharp directions in such a way that it might puncture someone's chest and send them off to the ever so dark yami no kuni…land of the dead. She covered her eyes and squinted to make out what she thought was her sister…boy was she wrong!
A funny little rabbit was running incomprehensibly fast across the landscape crying out worriedly. "I'm late. Ohmigosh I'm soooo late! What'll I do? And I didn't even have time to take my skirt to the drycleaners and now it shrunk!!!" She shrieked as she realized she was being watched by our hero Cloud. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU LOOKING AT PERVERT!" She screamed throwing a can of refried beans at her. The rabbits ears peeked out from a long mass of dark brown hair. Her outfit was a very tight fitting mock neck sleeveless shirt, a pair of overalls, and a skirt that had grown three sizes too small apparently from the dryer. Cloud fought a nosebleed and couldn't help but follow her.
"WAIT! Miss Rabbit…" She ran after the lil usagi, who apparently was ignoring her. "HEY I NEEDA KNOW!!! Who are you?"
"The name's Tifa," she whimpered while disappearing down a dark hole. "And I'm ever so late!!!" It was too late…Cloud's curiosity had gotten the better of her and she could no longer hold it in. Soon she found herself also traveling down the dark empty passageway which eventually opened up into a world full shelves and shelves of cheese.
"HOORAY!" She shouted out taking an armload of cheese and eating it, completely oblivious to the fact that the ground had disappeared and she was now plummeting to her doom. "Cheese is the best! Its like god…only yellow!" Finally she hit the bottom…and had she not been so dumb…she would have died. The bright side is she was too dumb to know she was dead…so she stood up, and looked around at the strange room. In the center was a table, and in the center of the table was a large bottle of hard liquor. Attatched to that bottle of liquor was a note which read "eat me" So Cloud did just that. She removed the sign from the bottle and shoved it in her mouth. With a massive passage of gas she found herself no more than an inch tall and discovered a door hiding in the wall.
"Hello Mr. Door," she began, staring at the lifeless hunk of broken watermelon which was serving as a temporary door…the old one was out on a date with its girlfriend, the window from across the way. "MR DOOR!" Cloud tried knocking but the watermelon shattered at her touch…he was deeply hurt inside. "OH NO! I killed Mr. Door!" Cloud wept bitterly but curiosity drove her on and she wandered into the strange unknown world hiding on the other side.
Whelp…that was it so far. A few author's notes…Cid was forced to wear a dress for this fic even though there was no mention of it…if we had described it he probably would have killed us, especially since he had to be Cloud's sister. Cid actually wanted to be cloud's…OUCH!!! Well it looks like he doesn't want me to tell you. Also Cloud looked rather cute in his lil alice in wonderland dress which was also not mentioned…but you can picture it right? Other fun characters will be introduced in later chapters including the drunken mad hatter and the Cheshire cat who rather enjoys stealing shiny objects, purple crayons, and cloud's material. Also more really stupid haiku's to come ^_^
~Centi