Scene: The next morning on Yorkland, interior of Lute's house. Warm sunlight is filtering in. Lute's Mom is making breakfast. Uncle Taco is racing about.
Uncle Taco: Where are those Mecs? The gnomes will be here any minute to inspect them! Have you seen Lute?
Lute's Mom: That lazy child is probably out loafing around. Up early for once, and he doesn't even make breakfast!
Uncle Taco: He'd better get back here soon and bring those Mecs, or I'll be putting HIM in the arena!
* * *
Scene: Out in the Yorkland swamp. Greenish light filters in from the canopy of leaves. Everywhere one looks, the ground is soggy and ridden with puddles. Our intrepid heroes are still searching for Red Okonogi.
T260G: Friend owes self full cleaning and hot wax job following this journey.
PzkwV: Ah, pipe down. We oughta be close.
Lute: As best I can remember, he set up a home at the Liquor Shrine out here in the swamp.
T260G: Are we close?
Lute: Gee... I'd be able to tell, but I kinda forgot my map! I distinctly remember being run out of my own home at gunpoint!
PzkwV: We're in luck! I'm picking up a humanoid life form on my scanners!
A massive blue squid erupts from what appeared to be a mere water puddle.
Kraken: HOHO!! MEALS ON WHEELS!
Lute: AAAAAAHHH!!!!!
T260G: Reading highly inaccurate!
Kraken: I DON'T REMEMBER ORDERING LUNCH, BUT I WON'T COMPLAIN!
PzkwV: Well, whaddya know? It WAS a nonhuman reading.
Lute: Do something!
T260G: Preparing V-MAX.
Kraken: OH NO YOU DON'T! spreading its tentacles wide THAT PLAN'S A WASHOUT!
A massive tidal wave appears from... well, nowhere... and rolls right over Lute and the Mecs
Kraken: SURF'S UP! grabbing PzkwV I WONDER IF THIS ONE HAS A CHEWY CENTER.
* * *
Cut to a section of swamp not far away.
Quiet voice: And yet another hapless fool falls prey to the Yorkland swamp.
Not as quiet voice: Think we should *hic* do ssomething?
Quiet voice: I suppose I haven't done my good deed for the day. Go distract Big Blue. I'll send help in a sec.
* * *
Cut back to the carnage site.
Kraken: MAYBE THIS ONE FIRST FOR AN APPETIZER.
The monster dangles T260G over its wide-open beak as a familiar t-shirted samurai staggers in, katana in hand.
Gen: Hey! Hey you!
Kraken: eyeing Gen THEY JUST COME OUT OF THE WOODWORK, TODAY!
Gen: Why don't you.... pick on someone.... you're own size! All of ya!
Kraken: sniffs YOU'RE DEFINITELY DRUNK! I ALWAYS WANTED TO TRY BRANDIED SAMURAI!
Quiet voice: from behind the kraken ... et meos inimikos devasta, ...
Kraken: spinning in horror THOSE WORDS!
Al-kaiser: in nomine potente!
A hole opens up in the fabric of reality, releasing a blast of nuclear energy upon the kraken.
Kraken: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHH!!
Gen: Super finish... ing move, drunken lurching flip Final Strike Calamari Cut!
Kraken: *whimper*
The monster is eviscerated by the drunken samurai's skillful... yet wobbly blade.
Al-Kaiser: The new turbo Gen-su! Saves three lives, AND makes sushi for 500!
Gen belches and passes out.
Al-Kaiser: Guess there's no need to slip away 'to find Red'.
A bright flash erupts from Al-kaiser's form, fading away to reveal Red.
Red: I suppose I'd better get these guys back to the Shrine. hefting PzkwV Maybe I should invest in a forklift!
Sariel V Humor, LTD. - Kicking Ash and Takin' *HIC*
Copyright February 2001