Scene: Interior conference room of the Hyperion UCS Mark XIII. Random nameless Trinity Forces (merely in this scene to look menacing) are scattered around the room on bored guard duty. The room is dominated by a large table, around which several Trinity officers, including Leonard, sit in debate.
Shuzer: The longer we are forced to wait here, the more time we waste, the more dangerous our situation becomes. Thanks to the bungling of both your lax security and our esteemed commandant, the plans for this station have slipped through our fingers again!
Mondo: And I say you worry too much. It's unlikely that Gradius has the plans, and even if they did, we can handle them with my new baby.
Shuzer: Stop patting yourself on the back and think a moment! The Magi of Devin have yet to enter this fray, and if they decipher the schematics to this station, they may well become afraid of it enough to join the resistance!
Mondo: *scowls* If I hear -
Suddenly the room drops to silence as the grand master of string-pulling enters the conference room. All eyes are upon him as he takes the seat of the head table.
Rastaban: Your concerns have been noted, Shuzer, and be assured that our Most Benevolent Governor understands the dangers that the wizards pose. And I'm certain that you, Mondo, will be happy to hear that we are ordered to make Devin a smoking chunk of rock. The Magi are no longer of use to us.
Shuzer: But that's begging for trouble! If we attack Devin, every Region in the cross-dimensional matrix will turn against us!
Mondo: Then they'll also get a taste of the Cube, courtesy of my new toy!
Shuzer: And what if Gradius finds an Achilles heel in those plans you lost!?
Leonard: The plans will not have wandered from Yorkland. We control the vast majority of ways to leave the Region, and my men are searching the outlying parts as we speak.
Mondo: There is little Gradius can do to against the Hyperion. I can't wait to snuff them like I'm about to do to Devin!
Leonard: Don't be so overconfident, you pompous wretch. The ability to wipe out a Region is INSIGNIFICANT next to the power of Magic!
Mondo: Bah! Predictions, prestidigitation, and parlour tricks! Where was your precious Magic when you took Rei's merchantman? MY MEN secured that ship!
Leonard: YOUR men let the plans slip out aboard an escape pod!
Rastaban: leaning back into his chair This should be good.
Mondo: And what have your spells done for you in the interim? Did you get any visions from those 'plants' as to where the plans were hidden?
Leonard: ...
Mondo: Or have you called your psychic friend via the ether to learn where Gradius' hideout is?
Leonard: ... ...
Mondo: I'll bet the reason we don't have a clue as to our enemies' plans is because you've been too busy studying the leavings of your pet gekko! Or maybe, could it just be that because you're a Mec, YOU CAN'T DO MAGIC!!!!??!?
Leonard flicks his wrist as lights wheel around him. Mondo's body follows the motion and slams hard into the ceiling.
*WHAAMM*
Mondo: AAAAGHH!!!
Leonard: *icily* Would you like to see a parlour trick?
Mondo: LET ME DOWN!!
The golden Mec raises his right hand, extending a vicious-looking MegaBeamSword.
Leonard: How about the one where I saw you in half?
Mondo: NNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Leonard: Or here's an oldy-but-goody.
The Mec fans several firey tarot cards out from his free hand.
Leonard: Pick a card! Any card!
Mondo: I TAKE IT BACK!!
Rastaban: Don't kill him, Leonard.
Leonard: Very well. Was this your card?
The golden Mec flips Saber into the air. With the appropriate lightshow, three katana blades materialize from thin air and spike through Mondo's wrists and left ankle into the ceiling.
Mondo: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Leonard: I may not have any mint on me, but I PREDICT you won't drub my powers again.
Mondo slides down the blades in ashen-faced agony.
Rastaban: This is why we must not underestimate Devin. If the Magi can grant a techno-terror like this such enormous power, than either we make them join us, or we slaughter them to the last man! Someone clean this blood off the table!
Sariel V Humor, Ltd. - SaGa doesn't really have a good ship combat system.
Copyright March, 2001