Title: Loose Ends
Author: Jane McCartney
Disclaimer: All the characters you recognize belong to Joss & co. (all hail the crackhead). I'm just fooling around with his universe, with no intention of making money or anything.
Classification: Buffy-Angel crossover
Rating: PG13
Feedback: Yes, please! Doesn't everyone want it?
Email: janemccartney@bol.com.br
Distribution: Anywhere, I don't mind, just credit me and inform me where it's at.
Acknowledgements: Thanks to Theo, who actually made this project a viable one with his amazing and wonderful work – I'm truly grateful for your help with the English grammar and all the necessary adaptations. You're my savior.
Note: This is my very first attempt at fan fiction, and English is definitely not my native language, so I'd be happy if you guys didn't go too hard on me – please. I'm just doing the best I can here.
Summary: [Buffy-Angel Crossover] Xander shows up in Los Angeles, and brings with him a secret that'll lead him into dangerous territory. Can he cope with that? And his friends, will they be there for him?
***
Xander didn't know what to do.
Quite honestly, for the very first time since he'd traveled back from the future, he really felt like things were completely out of control, simply... a complete nightmare.
Even in the most despairing moments of the chaotic previous hours, when there hadn't been anyone by his side to tell him that everything would be okay, that they were gonna make it – even then, the dark-haired boy had always felt that tiny, radiant spark of hope inside him.
Maybe it was just something naturally arising from his personality, the one belonging to the eternal and unchangeable Optimistic Guy; the one that kept going after everyone else has seemingly simply given up the good fight, thrown in the towel and accepted imminent defeat.
Xander was a dreamer, perhaps.
But now... why didn't he feel that spark of hope anymore? Why couldn't he find any deeply hidden feelings of hope to hold onto, so that he could just go on and do what he had to do?
It had always been the one thing that had permitted Xander to survive and get stronger, during all those hellish years of living on the top of the Hellmouth – the almost childish sensation that everything had to, eventually, end up OK.
Since usually, things couldn't actually get much worse.
For Xander Harris, that kind of attitude had always wrongfully been taken as an uncontestable truth but, surprisingly enough, it had also usually sufficed to let him survive another day.
Was being a dreamer just being naïve on his part? Maybe – probably. But Xander didn't care. His lifetime's philosophy had worked just goddamn fine, till now.
But now, the young man wasn't certain anymore what to expect from this upcoming, extremely tricky week.
His future.
The world's future.
Why couldn't he find, deep in his soul, that tiny, radiant spark of hope anymore?
It was exactly the kind of question that he really didn't want to answer right now.
***
Kelly Marshall had gotten really annoyed with Ms. Carter – the girl had just insisted on denying that she was pregnant over and over again, even though the pink-haired teenager had an utterly huge six-month's worth of belly underneath the hospital's baby-blue outfit.
At first, the curly-haired nurse had thought on calling down a psychiatrist to the ward; but then John Denver, a young med student, had examined Ms. Carter again and called for a drug test – which had been later come back positive.
Fabulous, Kelly thought sarcastically, while the blonde young woman aggressively threw her gloves across the empty exam room. Not only did I completely misdiagnose an easy prognosis *and* put my patient's life in danger, but I totally blew it in front of Dr. Lewis and that stupid medical student of hers!
The young woman looked thoughtful, while a wave of sudden rage went through her mind regarding the soon-to-be doctor, John. Not that Denver's really important or anything, but right now he's probably telling everyone in the hospital about this, even the upstairs cleaner and my elderly hernia patient!
Kelly was frustrated. As she'd previously guessed would happen, an immense headache was beginning to cover her entire brain with merciless strength.
A pain which felt pretty much like having a thousand cuckoo birds pecking your cranium, again and again and again, without even one pitiful minute of rest.
The truth was, her mind wasn't on any of the multiple symptoms of cocaine abuse that little Ms. Carter had presented, or the blood samples on the corner of the desk which Dr. Lewis had asked her to send to the lab before 10 o'clock.
Which were, in fact, already twenty minutes late.
Plus, as if she hadn't already had enough on her plate, the perpetual nasty comments that Mr. 'I'll-be-a-great-doctor-and-you're-only-a-simple-nurse' John 'Med Student' Denver had thrown at her, rattling around and destroying her self-esteem.
Which, granted, were easier to cope with than his one terrible attempt at flirting with her – a thing that'd made the blonde nurse shudder, with a particularly bizarre intensity.
No, right now, at that precise moment, her mind was elsewhere.
On a certain dark-haired young man, to be absolutely specific.
So, OK... I'm thinking about that Xander guy – the goofy, cute one. Well, not that he'd displayed any real goofiness, or had freely thrown out easy smiles to anyone.
However, Kelly just guessed he wasn't the brooding type one, as that type of guy pretty much irritated the young woman.
After all, she already worked in a hospital – and constant grief and sadness weren't exactly the greatest aphrodisiac to turn on a girl like Kelly.
Given how his brunette friend was dramatically fighting for her life, the blonde nurse didn't exactly expect for him to run around making jokes and having this big, comforting smile on his lips.
She had found herself wondering about Xander more than once, while attending little Ms. Carter – the teenager mother-to-be and drug addict.
Those brown, haunted eyes.
'My name's Xander Harris and I'm a soul to be saved' – this was the sentence that seemed to be written on his forehead, with big, colorful letters at that moment.
'A Penny If You Save Me' – could that be his secret slogan too?
Didn't his friends notice his despair? Nurse Marshall wondered then, did he even have friends? Or was Ms. Cordelia Chase his only one?
Why wasn't his so-called fiancée with him, at such a difficult moment? Was he afraid of losing his, an obvious and easy observation, beloved brunette friend?
Why did Xander Harris, for God's sake, seem to be slowly but surely being eaten up by annihilating, powerful guilt?
Kelly shivered, trying futilely to get Xander's image out from her mind.
He certainly wasn't a good thing to be thinking about right now – as Kelly was only one step away from flushing her entire nursing career away in a single night, which really wouldn't be a good occurrence.
And right now, the curly-haired nurse was pretty much sure that a lot of it was the dark-haired young man's fault.
Not that it was truly his fault, of course. He hadn't done anything other than breathe and babble around her, after all. But most assuredly, she'd have been able to concentrate a lot more on her duties if it wasn't for his presence...
"Ohhh," a frustrated Kelly sighed torturously.
That boy was so confusing.
The curly-haired nurse took her glasses into her hands, and viciously started cleaning them. If she had any strange habits and odd obsessions, this was certainly one of them – constantly cleaning the transparent lenses every ten to twenty minutes, an immutable schedule that had earned her the nickname of 'The Glasses' Merciless Maniac' to all her co-workers.
They even had a stupid jingle for it, one that that male nurse David from OB just *had* to sing and dance to, during all her goddamn breaks in the nurses' private room.
Kelly sighed – she was beginning to feel a little tired of thinking. Her headache had officially arrived, and memories of its previous incarnations told the young nurse that it'd keep her company for many long, painful hours.
Great. What else's missing from a perfect day like this, huh? a defeated Kelly thought bitingly.
"Marshall, get ya lame ass outta that chair right now!" a yelling male voice called for her, a little too abruptly for Kelly's headache's liking.
She furiously turned her gaze to the exam room's door and found her friend and co-worker, the front desk's night shift attendant Nicholas McDermott, staring back at her with wide eyes.
Which instantly brought her out from that pointless zombie state, where she'd been lost in her own hellish little world.
Great, thinking about that Xander character hasn't only meant the possible destruction of a promising career, but *also* a pool of saliva on the couch! the nurse suddenly realized in horror.
Kelly knew that she'd just provided the perfect material for many a future mocking from Nick, a cute guy whom she had a little crush on.
"Damn, girl," the desk attendant glanced mockingly at her pitiful-looking state.
I'm so not in the mood for this right now...
"What is it, Nick? I really don't have time for this, you know," Kelly promptly stopped her co-worker's mocking words with a dry, sharp reply.
"Yeah, you were busy dribbling," he retorted in a low voice, each word evidently as sarcastic as possible.
"What did you say?" the curly-haired nurse demanded wildly, her patience running short at that point.
"Hey, cool down, 'kay?" the Afro-American man suddenly adopted a defensive tone.
He continued, "It's your patient, in ward five. She's freaking out, I guess," Nick looked thoughtful for a moment and then continued, "Well, she's screaming and scaring all the patients in the entire ward. I really think you should go and see her – Ms. Kayse, right?"
"Ms. Chase," Kelly absent-mindedly corrected her colleague's mistake.
"Yeah, that's right, Chase, the pretty one," Nick chuckled cleverly, then asking in a mocking tone if she'd follow him or if her glasses needed a special clean-up – while exiting the exam room's door.
The blonde nurse just snorted, and told him sharply that she was on her way.
It had been a long, hard night so far, and it seemed that her guesses about the Xander and Cordelia couple were actually beginning to become true.
Her headache was certainly not pleased.
***
"Get away from me! I-I, stop using his face! It can't be you – him, it can't be! Go away!" Cordelia's hysterical cries were sharper than a spiked dagger into Xander's dazed mind.
He certainly didn't try to touch her anymore, though.
Xander just stared, at his former girlfriend's violent protests against his presence; shock, confusion and pain powerfully and sardonically destroying every fiber of his being, with their nearly supernatural strength.
"Sir, get away from the patient," a rough male voice demanded from the other side of the room.
Xander hadn't noticed the arrival of two hospital security guards until now, and so the time-traveller quickly gazed at them. They were probably around their early thirties, they had revolvers firmly held in their hands and cautiously pointed at him.
"Are you okay?" one of the rent-a-cops asked protectively to the screaming Cordelia, who seemed to calm down a little after their abrupt arrival.
"Y-yeah, I am," the brunette girl answered absent-mindedly, her scared gaze focused solely on her former boyfriend's confused glances at her.
The two security men promptly grabbed and handcuffed Xander a little too roughly, who seemed to have lost any capacity to speak – protesting and claiming innocence wasn't exactly possible, right then.
And, even if he could do so, the chances of being believed by these rude and large men weren't exactly good. Looking alternately at them and Cordelia, Xander wasn't sure what he was feeling.
Shock, horror, confusion?
Anger? Betrayal?
The young man wasn't able to precisely determine his own feelings, at that moment.
"What's going on here?!" a recently arrived Kelly demanded, obviously wanting some answers about the chaotic scene which the curly-haired nurse had found with her brusque entrance into Cordelia's room.
Xander's attention was drawn to the relatively familiar voice of Nurse Marshall. But then the taller security guy – the one that was strongly pushing his face against the room's green wall – sent a hard fist into the small of his back, when the young man finally tried to give voice to his protests.
It was always good to know, how your civil rights are protected and respected in America.
"I'd be certainly pleased to know, Nurse Marshall, " Dr. Penn's demanding voice loudly filled the room, and Kelly stopped dead in her tracks at hearing Michael's obviously furious tone.
After this shift, she'd most likely be lucky if she still had a nursing job left.
Kelly couldn't help thinking, I wonder if they need a new McDonald's waitress in the place next to my apart...
The sandy-haired doctor stepped in front of Kelly's suddenly pale figure. "Well?"
"Doctor Penn," the blonde nurse tried to explain, but her nervousness was already betraying this futile attempt to do so.
Great, she rebuked herself. Now you're sweating, Kelly!
"Nurse Marshall? Do I get an explanation about the patient under your care, or is this a bad time for you?" an irritated Michael Penn questioned the blonde young woman, the sarcasm obvious in his voice.
"I'm not sure, I-I just got here myself," Kelly replied in a small voice.
The blue-eyed doctor quickly made his way to Cordelia's bed, intending to check on the patient's safety. The last thing this hospital needs is another lawsuit... he thought.
"No wonder the government wants to close this place down," Michael began with an annoyed tone. "The staff's so incompetent, the fact that this hospital's managed to stay open all these years is actually a miracle!"
Oh, you listen to me, you arrogant prick! If the government wants to shut us down, it's because of all the tax-payer money they don't wanna spend – and the assholes like you, who don't give a rat's ass about a patient's well-being and just want to discharge them as fast as you can!
"I'm sorry," the curly-haired nurse whispered weakly, as the guards took Xander away.
Oh, God, I'm such a coward, Kelly's headache was stronger than ever, while frustration and tiredness seemed to consume her entire being with an abrupt, savage strength.
"You should be," the sandy-haired doctor retorted disdainfully.
"Xander – that guy, he was with her. I, I never imagined that he'd represent any danger, he didn't really seem..." Kelly's voice trailed off – had this Xander character really attacked the girl on the bed?
Was he sick enough to have shoved that blade through Ms. Chase's abdomen and then carried her to the hospital, acting as if his despair was authentic and his fear was legitimate?
Could this be the answer, for why he had those haunted eyes?
But Michael no longer had any interest in the nurse's justifications and excuses. The young doctor injected a dose of sedative into his brunette patient's body, and tried to calm Cordelia down with words of comfort and compassion.
At that moment, Kelly felt really bad for her earlier thoughts about Dr. Penn's supposed lack of care about a patient's well-being. She'd forgotten that Michael's day had probably been as hard, as stressful as her own shift.
"Why did Xander do this to me?" Cordelia kept asking sorrowfully, over and over in a low murmur, her words being spoken with easily detectable fear and confusion.
"Everything's gonna be all right, he's not here anymore," Michael said softly, though his gaze was diverted away from Cordelia's scared features when he noticed Kelly's continuous movements with her slim hands, trying to get his attention.
"Hey, Linda, would you mind monitoring the patient?" the sandy-haired doctor called for another female nurse, who had entered the room a short while ago. Kelly exited the room, making a final gesture to Michael to join her.
The chubby nurse promptly agreed, and was quickly informed by Michael about the brunette's condition. The blue-eyed young man quickly gave Linda Cordelia's chart, and then hurriedly searched the hall for the curly-haired nurse's familiar face.
He didn't have to search for too long though, as the blonde woman quickly appeared; a worried look easily seen in her ocean-green wide eyes.
"I wanna talk to you about Mr. Harris," Kelly informed him pointedly.
"Who?" the confused young doctor asked, as that name wasn't familiar to him.
"Oh, right. Mr. Harris, Xander – the guy who attacked Ms. Chase? Well, I wanted to talk to you about him," the nurse quickly replied, feeling a little stupid for not remembering the fact that Dr. Penn had never actually spoken with the man now in custody.
"Oh," Michael acknowledged immediately. "Well, the cops will no doubt take him away soon, thank goodness the bastard was caught," an unexpected tone of revulsion overtook Michael's usually soft voice.
Kelly's face twisted in sudden fear and awe.
"That's exactly what I wanna talk to you about," she began. "I'm not entirely sure Mr. Harris' case is actually a police situation. Don't you think it's kinda odd – if he had actually wounded Ms. Chase, he wouldn't be here just waiting to be caught and arrested, surely?"
"There's a lot of things that could be passing through a sufficiently sick mind like his to hurt a helpless girl like Ms. Chase, Nurse Marshall. Guilt, for instance?" the sandy-haired doctor asked piercingly.
"Well...if the guy did it in the heat of the moment – if that's what you're supposing, don't you think that he *wouldn't* have entered the poor girl's room, and actually spoken with her?" Kelly replied sharply.
Michael gazed at the lanky outline of Kelly's confident profile, and started to finally realize what was the exact meaning of the curly-haired nurse's prompt retort.
The young doctor kept his silence though, intentionally leaving a blank space for Kelly to conclude her thoughts around his patient and her supposed attacker.
"I talked to him, in the waiting room. He seemed... confused. Actually, looking back on it, I think he was completely delusional. He told me stuff about someone sending him back here – from the future, I'd guess. And there was also this weird statement about evil bunnies; his sentences weren't exactly full of logic, but I thought he was just grieving over Ms. Chase's injury..."
Kelly paused, getting her breath back before continuing to talk again.
"His eyes had this strange look, you know? As if he was in deep pain and suffering. Once again, I thought it was because his friend was hurt and all," the blonde nurse finally concluded, promptly diverting her gaze to Michael's one as if looking for his opinion about what she had just stated to him.
"Dr. Penn, Kelly," a voice interrupted their reflections over the matter. A middle-aged nurse was suddenly there, holding a file in her slightly wrinkled hands.
"Can't it wait, Nurse Keaton?" Michael said impatiently, upset for being interrupted.
"I just thought you'd like to know that I've gotten Ms. Chase's complete medical file. And should I call the people in Los Angeles she put down as the ones to be contacted in case of emergency? Which I think is pretty much what we have here," the older nurse said annoyingly.
"Call them," the sandy-haired doctor replied dryly, his eyes not diverting themselves from Kelly's for a moment.
The middle-aged nurse got the idea and snorted, annoyed at the younger man's arrogance, leaving the two of them alone once again.
At the same time, Michael noticed Kelly's features tense hastily.
"He also told me Ms. Chase didn't know anyone in town," the curly-haired young woman stated blankly, suddenly feeling a little surprised at all the twists that Ms. Chase's case had brought tonight.
"Perhaps he's schizophrenic," Michael told her absent-mindedly, his mind still occupied with reflections and conclusions about Xander's possible diagnosis of mental disease.
"Onset of schizophrenia usually occurs during early to mid-twenties, and I wouldn't say he's any older than twenty-three," Kelly replied, fearing her own words.
If Xander was actually sick, the blonde nurse wouldn't spare any effort to help him; as the thought of that dark-haired boy deliberately hurting the brunette girl whom he'd honestly showed compassion for earlier wasn't exactly the greatest mental image of the year, at all.
Kelly felt scared and sad for him. It was horrible how good people always seemed to suffer in this world.
Thinking about how this sickness could have led Mr. Harris to almost kill a young woman whom he no doubt loved, even if just as a dear friend – the painful memories he'd have to carry for the rest of his life, the guilt, the fear over his own actions after he'd recovered his sanity upon treatment of the disease...
It was during exactly these moments that Kelly wondered if her career was truly worth it.
"You're probably right. I'll call Psychiatry, then. Make sure the cops don't take Mr. Harris away, will you?" Michael asked, already walking away down the hallway without waiting for an answer from the curly-haired nurse.
Kelly sighed tiredly, and also started to walk away in the opposite direction. Dr. Lewis would have probably prepared a few new charts for patients under her care, and the last thing the nurse needed now was to screw up her career even more than what she'd already done this day.
"Kelly!" Michael then yelled loudly enough, to win his co-workers' and a few patients' attention.
The curly-haired nurse turned around to face the doctor, and Michael mouthed a silent 'good work' at her, which Kelly accepted with a weak smile.
Recognition, encouragement and friendship were exactly what she needed to withstand the tough and emotionally tense routine, which the endless days at St. Matthew's hospital genuinely were.
***
Xander stared at the shrink, as the man mouthed the usual phrases.
Mr. Harris. We just want to help you. You're sick. We're not gonna hurt you. We're your friends.
Shut the hell up, would you? was all the dark-haired boy could think in response.
Xander couldn't stand it anymore. Great, now I'm Crazy Guy...
Cordelia was nearly dead because of him and now, she actually thought he'd tried to kill her.
Was it a spell? Another dirty, unfair card played as part of Evil's plan to stop his mission?
And now a fat man who actually had donut fragments stuck within his beard, was trying to get into his head with a lame Sigmund Freud act.
Chains, spikes and whips didn't even come close to matching the real, excruciating torture of listening to Dr. Robert Grissom's psychiatric bullshit.
"Can I call you Alex?" Robert risked asking cautiously, holding Xander's confiscated ID in his hands.
"Mr. Harris is just fine," the dark-haired boy replied dryly, never bothering to divert his eyes from the psychiatrist's ones.
"Okay then, Mr. Harris," a frustrated Grissom retorted.
The 57-year-old doctor had already spent nearly 25 minutes with this supposedly schizophrenic patient in his office. And, so far, he'd not gotten any answer other than dry nods or more usually utter silence from the dark-haired young man in front of him.
"Don't you want to tell me what you're thinking?" the psychiatrist asked, preparing himself for engaging in a mind game with his patient, and a conversation that could finally lead the two of them somewhere.
The deal is, I'm a time-traveller from the future. One that, after seeing practically everyone I've ever loved dying at the hands of a demon that's a so-called good guy when his soul's around, is here to stop imminent chaos and very likely the end of the world to boot.
"Mr. Harris?" Robert insisted softly, not wanting to scare the patient.
"Uh... there's just nothing really interesting to say, I guess," Xander replied, with the inevitable sarcastic half-smile appearing on his lips.
The young man promptly ignored the psychiatrist's next boring words, deeply lost in his thoughts – he needed to get the hell out of there as soon as possible, and find a way to avoid the hospital security net.
A defeated Dr. Robert Grissom sighed exhaustedly. The truth was, he knew he wouldn't get anywhere with this patient without using more severe methods – perhaps a shock confrontation with reality would bring out the memories of his own actions, and then make him at least talk about and discuss them.
Where the heck are those dummies that were supposed to bring his medication? Grissom wondered, annoyed with the fact that a patient had to wait for decent care because of the incompetence of some minor functionaries at St. Matthew's.
"Why did you hurt that girl, Mr. Harris?" Grissom questioned softly.
And that was the last straw for Xander's embattled, frazzled mind.
"I didn't hurt her," he replied furiously, getting up from his chair in an obvious state of rage.
The psychiatrist promptly pressed the alarm for help, fear starting to consume his whole being. Even though Xander was handcuffed, Robert still wondered why he'd always have to let the patient remain free and not correctly tied to the chair to protect the doctor's person from a possible attack, so he could feel a little more comfortable.
"Mr. Harris, please, calm down," Robert whispered fearfully, trying to hide it and stay firm in front of his patient – but failing miserably.
"Why would I hurt her? I love her! Why'd you think I would ever hurt her?" Xander demanded frenziedly, viciously pacing back and forth along the small, stuffy office.
Soon, three men abruptly entered the room. Two forcefully grabbed Xander, while one of them applied a needle with a dose of sedative into his right forearm.
"Are you all right, Dr. Grissom?" one of the men asked, noticing the psychiatrist's panicked gaze.
"Yes, yes I'm fine. Is the patient fully sedated?" Robert retorted, recovering his composure.
Xander could barely hear the four men's conversation. The young man started to feel his body go weak, each of his muscles flash-paralyzing and his mind slowly but progressively being taken over by a wave of darkness.
Obviously they didn't know how the four of them were bringing about the Apocalypse, the end of the world.
Or perhaps he really was crazy?
Maybe it was that itchy burning sensation, or maybe it was the strong feeling of failure and defeat in Xander's mind, that started the inner mental cascade.
Maybe it's just that I'm too useless to do anything right...
Could he have *really* lost his sanity? This world was a strange and often- changing one, that much Xander already knew.
But was the concept a real or ridiculous possibility? Many things could be responsible for his current situation, a numberless amount of things actually.
Spells, magic, illusion, demon attacks – the list was a never-ending one.
And now, any attempt to think otherwise seemed too painful and pointless. His sedated body was beginning to betray his mind's futile efforts to think clearly.
In fact, it now seemed to dismiss any attempt at thinking beyond a straight concept of past, present and future. Weakness, disappointment and a sudden urge to admit defeat were forcefully overtaking his mind.
Xander started to feel as if he'd finally reached the ultimate bottom of the barrel; and any attempt to get out of that cold, despairing place, would just turn out to be setting himself up for another impending downfall.
But suddenly, an abrupt entrance into the room ferociously interrupted his thoughts.
A familiar face crossed the room, after forcefully knocking unconscious the three men that tried to stop her. And at that point, Xander pretty much knew he could actually be going crazy.
It was odd to realize, that Faith would turn out to be the face that his insanity would come up with. It was a weird and unpredictable place that his subconscious seemed to be wandering through, because the last thing that he'd expected was a last-minute rescue with the rogue Slayer's sudden appearance.
"C'mon Xander, let's get the hell out of here!"
Such a cliched situation was even grotesque; and so damned unlikely to actually happen too, when neither of them were characters in cute fairy tales or unrealistic TV shows, where the good guys were always saved at the last possible moment.
"Xander!"
Or was this a dream? Perhaps he was lost in a literal nightmare, and all the pain and hopelessness would simply magically disappear the moment he opened his eyes, to welcome reality once again.
A warm, comforting place where Anya would hold him tightly, and tell him how much she deeply loved him; a place where Angel was only a vague ally from the past, who you could always poke some fun at.
"Xander?!"
Did I dream it all, this entire time? But then, why don't I feel like I'm dreaming now?
"I'm sorry OK, but you're not exactly giving me any other choice," Faith hit him as she whispered impatiently, after trying futilely to snap Xander out of his apparently entranced state.
All this time, Dr. Robert Grissom had been trying to hide his considerably large body under his office desk, while watching the ongoing events in shock.
He watched as the beautiful brunette, after exhaustively calling out his patient's name, punched him as lightly as her Slayer strength would allow. It obviously hurt, but it was enough to bring his patient back again to full awareness.
"Faith?" an utterly confused Xander managed to whisper.
"Well, no, I'm actually Santa," the brunette Slayer retorted sarcastically, amused at Xander's puzzlement and evidently groggy state.
"H-how?" his supposed tone of incredulity sounded dizzy to Faith's ears, as the sedative's effect became stronger in the young man's body.
"Same way as you, boy toy, but I'd really rather not go into details now," Faith replied pointedly, noticing the frightened figure of Robert Grissom hiding in the opposite corner of the room.
"You," the brunette girl turned her gaze to Robert's scared one. "Gimme your car keys."
The middle-aged psychiatrist didn't think twice about throwing his brand- new BMW's keys into that gorgeous young woman's hands, who accepted them without ceremony and directed his patient to the room's door.
"Faith, I don't know if I can make it – I, I think that I was sedated," Xander informed her, his words no longer following any coherent order to actually question the why's and how's of the girl's - if nothing else, odd and unexpected - presence.
But while the two of them were eluding St. Matthews' security as well as the L.A.P.D., managing to escape successfully from the hospital to a momentarily secure cheap hotel, Xander felt something shiny grow in his soul.
Slowly, almost shyly, a feeling was starting to once again fill his being with its incredibly warm, dazzling strength.
A spark of radiant, ecstatic hope was once more dispelling his doubts and reassuring his dazed mind, with its supremely powerful presence.
***
Reviews! Many of them! Yes! I'm totally crazy for them! C'mon! Write!
Author: Jane McCartney
Disclaimer: All the characters you recognize belong to Joss & co. (all hail the crackhead). I'm just fooling around with his universe, with no intention of making money or anything.
Classification: Buffy-Angel crossover
Rating: PG13
Feedback: Yes, please! Doesn't everyone want it?
Email: janemccartney@bol.com.br
Distribution: Anywhere, I don't mind, just credit me and inform me where it's at.
Acknowledgements: Thanks to Theo, who actually made this project a viable one with his amazing and wonderful work – I'm truly grateful for your help with the English grammar and all the necessary adaptations. You're my savior.
Note: This is my very first attempt at fan fiction, and English is definitely not my native language, so I'd be happy if you guys didn't go too hard on me – please. I'm just doing the best I can here.
Summary: [Buffy-Angel Crossover] Xander shows up in Los Angeles, and brings with him a secret that'll lead him into dangerous territory. Can he cope with that? And his friends, will they be there for him?
***
Xander didn't know what to do.
Quite honestly, for the very first time since he'd traveled back from the future, he really felt like things were completely out of control, simply... a complete nightmare.
Even in the most despairing moments of the chaotic previous hours, when there hadn't been anyone by his side to tell him that everything would be okay, that they were gonna make it – even then, the dark-haired boy had always felt that tiny, radiant spark of hope inside him.
Maybe it was just something naturally arising from his personality, the one belonging to the eternal and unchangeable Optimistic Guy; the one that kept going after everyone else has seemingly simply given up the good fight, thrown in the towel and accepted imminent defeat.
Xander was a dreamer, perhaps.
But now... why didn't he feel that spark of hope anymore? Why couldn't he find any deeply hidden feelings of hope to hold onto, so that he could just go on and do what he had to do?
It had always been the one thing that had permitted Xander to survive and get stronger, during all those hellish years of living on the top of the Hellmouth – the almost childish sensation that everything had to, eventually, end up OK.
Since usually, things couldn't actually get much worse.
For Xander Harris, that kind of attitude had always wrongfully been taken as an uncontestable truth but, surprisingly enough, it had also usually sufficed to let him survive another day.
Was being a dreamer just being naïve on his part? Maybe – probably. But Xander didn't care. His lifetime's philosophy had worked just goddamn fine, till now.
But now, the young man wasn't certain anymore what to expect from this upcoming, extremely tricky week.
His future.
The world's future.
Why couldn't he find, deep in his soul, that tiny, radiant spark of hope anymore?
It was exactly the kind of question that he really didn't want to answer right now.
***
Kelly Marshall had gotten really annoyed with Ms. Carter – the girl had just insisted on denying that she was pregnant over and over again, even though the pink-haired teenager had an utterly huge six-month's worth of belly underneath the hospital's baby-blue outfit.
At first, the curly-haired nurse had thought on calling down a psychiatrist to the ward; but then John Denver, a young med student, had examined Ms. Carter again and called for a drug test – which had been later come back positive.
Fabulous, Kelly thought sarcastically, while the blonde young woman aggressively threw her gloves across the empty exam room. Not only did I completely misdiagnose an easy prognosis *and* put my patient's life in danger, but I totally blew it in front of Dr. Lewis and that stupid medical student of hers!
The young woman looked thoughtful, while a wave of sudden rage went through her mind regarding the soon-to-be doctor, John. Not that Denver's really important or anything, but right now he's probably telling everyone in the hospital about this, even the upstairs cleaner and my elderly hernia patient!
Kelly was frustrated. As she'd previously guessed would happen, an immense headache was beginning to cover her entire brain with merciless strength.
A pain which felt pretty much like having a thousand cuckoo birds pecking your cranium, again and again and again, without even one pitiful minute of rest.
The truth was, her mind wasn't on any of the multiple symptoms of cocaine abuse that little Ms. Carter had presented, or the blood samples on the corner of the desk which Dr. Lewis had asked her to send to the lab before 10 o'clock.
Which were, in fact, already twenty minutes late.
Plus, as if she hadn't already had enough on her plate, the perpetual nasty comments that Mr. 'I'll-be-a-great-doctor-and-you're-only-a-simple-nurse' John 'Med Student' Denver had thrown at her, rattling around and destroying her self-esteem.
Which, granted, were easier to cope with than his one terrible attempt at flirting with her – a thing that'd made the blonde nurse shudder, with a particularly bizarre intensity.
No, right now, at that precise moment, her mind was elsewhere.
On a certain dark-haired young man, to be absolutely specific.
So, OK... I'm thinking about that Xander guy – the goofy, cute one. Well, not that he'd displayed any real goofiness, or had freely thrown out easy smiles to anyone.
However, Kelly just guessed he wasn't the brooding type one, as that type of guy pretty much irritated the young woman.
After all, she already worked in a hospital – and constant grief and sadness weren't exactly the greatest aphrodisiac to turn on a girl like Kelly.
Given how his brunette friend was dramatically fighting for her life, the blonde nurse didn't exactly expect for him to run around making jokes and having this big, comforting smile on his lips.
She had found herself wondering about Xander more than once, while attending little Ms. Carter – the teenager mother-to-be and drug addict.
Those brown, haunted eyes.
'My name's Xander Harris and I'm a soul to be saved' – this was the sentence that seemed to be written on his forehead, with big, colorful letters at that moment.
'A Penny If You Save Me' – could that be his secret slogan too?
Didn't his friends notice his despair? Nurse Marshall wondered then, did he even have friends? Or was Ms. Cordelia Chase his only one?
Why wasn't his so-called fiancée with him, at such a difficult moment? Was he afraid of losing his, an obvious and easy observation, beloved brunette friend?
Why did Xander Harris, for God's sake, seem to be slowly but surely being eaten up by annihilating, powerful guilt?
Kelly shivered, trying futilely to get Xander's image out from her mind.
He certainly wasn't a good thing to be thinking about right now – as Kelly was only one step away from flushing her entire nursing career away in a single night, which really wouldn't be a good occurrence.
And right now, the curly-haired nurse was pretty much sure that a lot of it was the dark-haired young man's fault.
Not that it was truly his fault, of course. He hadn't done anything other than breathe and babble around her, after all. But most assuredly, she'd have been able to concentrate a lot more on her duties if it wasn't for his presence...
"Ohhh," a frustrated Kelly sighed torturously.
That boy was so confusing.
The curly-haired nurse took her glasses into her hands, and viciously started cleaning them. If she had any strange habits and odd obsessions, this was certainly one of them – constantly cleaning the transparent lenses every ten to twenty minutes, an immutable schedule that had earned her the nickname of 'The Glasses' Merciless Maniac' to all her co-workers.
They even had a stupid jingle for it, one that that male nurse David from OB just *had* to sing and dance to, during all her goddamn breaks in the nurses' private room.
Kelly sighed – she was beginning to feel a little tired of thinking. Her headache had officially arrived, and memories of its previous incarnations told the young nurse that it'd keep her company for many long, painful hours.
Great. What else's missing from a perfect day like this, huh? a defeated Kelly thought bitingly.
"Marshall, get ya lame ass outta that chair right now!" a yelling male voice called for her, a little too abruptly for Kelly's headache's liking.
She furiously turned her gaze to the exam room's door and found her friend and co-worker, the front desk's night shift attendant Nicholas McDermott, staring back at her with wide eyes.
Which instantly brought her out from that pointless zombie state, where she'd been lost in her own hellish little world.
Great, thinking about that Xander character hasn't only meant the possible destruction of a promising career, but *also* a pool of saliva on the couch! the nurse suddenly realized in horror.
Kelly knew that she'd just provided the perfect material for many a future mocking from Nick, a cute guy whom she had a little crush on.
"Damn, girl," the desk attendant glanced mockingly at her pitiful-looking state.
I'm so not in the mood for this right now...
"What is it, Nick? I really don't have time for this, you know," Kelly promptly stopped her co-worker's mocking words with a dry, sharp reply.
"Yeah, you were busy dribbling," he retorted in a low voice, each word evidently as sarcastic as possible.
"What did you say?" the curly-haired nurse demanded wildly, her patience running short at that point.
"Hey, cool down, 'kay?" the Afro-American man suddenly adopted a defensive tone.
He continued, "It's your patient, in ward five. She's freaking out, I guess," Nick looked thoughtful for a moment and then continued, "Well, she's screaming and scaring all the patients in the entire ward. I really think you should go and see her – Ms. Kayse, right?"
"Ms. Chase," Kelly absent-mindedly corrected her colleague's mistake.
"Yeah, that's right, Chase, the pretty one," Nick chuckled cleverly, then asking in a mocking tone if she'd follow him or if her glasses needed a special clean-up – while exiting the exam room's door.
The blonde nurse just snorted, and told him sharply that she was on her way.
It had been a long, hard night so far, and it seemed that her guesses about the Xander and Cordelia couple were actually beginning to become true.
Her headache was certainly not pleased.
***
"Get away from me! I-I, stop using his face! It can't be you – him, it can't be! Go away!" Cordelia's hysterical cries were sharper than a spiked dagger into Xander's dazed mind.
He certainly didn't try to touch her anymore, though.
Xander just stared, at his former girlfriend's violent protests against his presence; shock, confusion and pain powerfully and sardonically destroying every fiber of his being, with their nearly supernatural strength.
"Sir, get away from the patient," a rough male voice demanded from the other side of the room.
Xander hadn't noticed the arrival of two hospital security guards until now, and so the time-traveller quickly gazed at them. They were probably around their early thirties, they had revolvers firmly held in their hands and cautiously pointed at him.
"Are you okay?" one of the rent-a-cops asked protectively to the screaming Cordelia, who seemed to calm down a little after their abrupt arrival.
"Y-yeah, I am," the brunette girl answered absent-mindedly, her scared gaze focused solely on her former boyfriend's confused glances at her.
The two security men promptly grabbed and handcuffed Xander a little too roughly, who seemed to have lost any capacity to speak – protesting and claiming innocence wasn't exactly possible, right then.
And, even if he could do so, the chances of being believed by these rude and large men weren't exactly good. Looking alternately at them and Cordelia, Xander wasn't sure what he was feeling.
Shock, horror, confusion?
Anger? Betrayal?
The young man wasn't able to precisely determine his own feelings, at that moment.
"What's going on here?!" a recently arrived Kelly demanded, obviously wanting some answers about the chaotic scene which the curly-haired nurse had found with her brusque entrance into Cordelia's room.
Xander's attention was drawn to the relatively familiar voice of Nurse Marshall. But then the taller security guy – the one that was strongly pushing his face against the room's green wall – sent a hard fist into the small of his back, when the young man finally tried to give voice to his protests.
It was always good to know, how your civil rights are protected and respected in America.
"I'd be certainly pleased to know, Nurse Marshall, " Dr. Penn's demanding voice loudly filled the room, and Kelly stopped dead in her tracks at hearing Michael's obviously furious tone.
After this shift, she'd most likely be lucky if she still had a nursing job left.
Kelly couldn't help thinking, I wonder if they need a new McDonald's waitress in the place next to my apart...
The sandy-haired doctor stepped in front of Kelly's suddenly pale figure. "Well?"
"Doctor Penn," the blonde nurse tried to explain, but her nervousness was already betraying this futile attempt to do so.
Great, she rebuked herself. Now you're sweating, Kelly!
"Nurse Marshall? Do I get an explanation about the patient under your care, or is this a bad time for you?" an irritated Michael Penn questioned the blonde young woman, the sarcasm obvious in his voice.
"I'm not sure, I-I just got here myself," Kelly replied in a small voice.
The blue-eyed doctor quickly made his way to Cordelia's bed, intending to check on the patient's safety. The last thing this hospital needs is another lawsuit... he thought.
"No wonder the government wants to close this place down," Michael began with an annoyed tone. "The staff's so incompetent, the fact that this hospital's managed to stay open all these years is actually a miracle!"
Oh, you listen to me, you arrogant prick! If the government wants to shut us down, it's because of all the tax-payer money they don't wanna spend – and the assholes like you, who don't give a rat's ass about a patient's well-being and just want to discharge them as fast as you can!
"I'm sorry," the curly-haired nurse whispered weakly, as the guards took Xander away.
Oh, God, I'm such a coward, Kelly's headache was stronger than ever, while frustration and tiredness seemed to consume her entire being with an abrupt, savage strength.
"You should be," the sandy-haired doctor retorted disdainfully.
"Xander – that guy, he was with her. I, I never imagined that he'd represent any danger, he didn't really seem..." Kelly's voice trailed off – had this Xander character really attacked the girl on the bed?
Was he sick enough to have shoved that blade through Ms. Chase's abdomen and then carried her to the hospital, acting as if his despair was authentic and his fear was legitimate?
Could this be the answer, for why he had those haunted eyes?
But Michael no longer had any interest in the nurse's justifications and excuses. The young doctor injected a dose of sedative into his brunette patient's body, and tried to calm Cordelia down with words of comfort and compassion.
At that moment, Kelly felt really bad for her earlier thoughts about Dr. Penn's supposed lack of care about a patient's well-being. She'd forgotten that Michael's day had probably been as hard, as stressful as her own shift.
"Why did Xander do this to me?" Cordelia kept asking sorrowfully, over and over in a low murmur, her words being spoken with easily detectable fear and confusion.
"Everything's gonna be all right, he's not here anymore," Michael said softly, though his gaze was diverted away from Cordelia's scared features when he noticed Kelly's continuous movements with her slim hands, trying to get his attention.
"Hey, Linda, would you mind monitoring the patient?" the sandy-haired doctor called for another female nurse, who had entered the room a short while ago. Kelly exited the room, making a final gesture to Michael to join her.
The chubby nurse promptly agreed, and was quickly informed by Michael about the brunette's condition. The blue-eyed young man quickly gave Linda Cordelia's chart, and then hurriedly searched the hall for the curly-haired nurse's familiar face.
He didn't have to search for too long though, as the blonde woman quickly appeared; a worried look easily seen in her ocean-green wide eyes.
"I wanna talk to you about Mr. Harris," Kelly informed him pointedly.
"Who?" the confused young doctor asked, as that name wasn't familiar to him.
"Oh, right. Mr. Harris, Xander – the guy who attacked Ms. Chase? Well, I wanted to talk to you about him," the nurse quickly replied, feeling a little stupid for not remembering the fact that Dr. Penn had never actually spoken with the man now in custody.
"Oh," Michael acknowledged immediately. "Well, the cops will no doubt take him away soon, thank goodness the bastard was caught," an unexpected tone of revulsion overtook Michael's usually soft voice.
Kelly's face twisted in sudden fear and awe.
"That's exactly what I wanna talk to you about," she began. "I'm not entirely sure Mr. Harris' case is actually a police situation. Don't you think it's kinda odd – if he had actually wounded Ms. Chase, he wouldn't be here just waiting to be caught and arrested, surely?"
"There's a lot of things that could be passing through a sufficiently sick mind like his to hurt a helpless girl like Ms. Chase, Nurse Marshall. Guilt, for instance?" the sandy-haired doctor asked piercingly.
"Well...if the guy did it in the heat of the moment – if that's what you're supposing, don't you think that he *wouldn't* have entered the poor girl's room, and actually spoken with her?" Kelly replied sharply.
Michael gazed at the lanky outline of Kelly's confident profile, and started to finally realize what was the exact meaning of the curly-haired nurse's prompt retort.
The young doctor kept his silence though, intentionally leaving a blank space for Kelly to conclude her thoughts around his patient and her supposed attacker.
"I talked to him, in the waiting room. He seemed... confused. Actually, looking back on it, I think he was completely delusional. He told me stuff about someone sending him back here – from the future, I'd guess. And there was also this weird statement about evil bunnies; his sentences weren't exactly full of logic, but I thought he was just grieving over Ms. Chase's injury..."
Kelly paused, getting her breath back before continuing to talk again.
"His eyes had this strange look, you know? As if he was in deep pain and suffering. Once again, I thought it was because his friend was hurt and all," the blonde nurse finally concluded, promptly diverting her gaze to Michael's one as if looking for his opinion about what she had just stated to him.
"Dr. Penn, Kelly," a voice interrupted their reflections over the matter. A middle-aged nurse was suddenly there, holding a file in her slightly wrinkled hands.
"Can't it wait, Nurse Keaton?" Michael said impatiently, upset for being interrupted.
"I just thought you'd like to know that I've gotten Ms. Chase's complete medical file. And should I call the people in Los Angeles she put down as the ones to be contacted in case of emergency? Which I think is pretty much what we have here," the older nurse said annoyingly.
"Call them," the sandy-haired doctor replied dryly, his eyes not diverting themselves from Kelly's for a moment.
The middle-aged nurse got the idea and snorted, annoyed at the younger man's arrogance, leaving the two of them alone once again.
At the same time, Michael noticed Kelly's features tense hastily.
"He also told me Ms. Chase didn't know anyone in town," the curly-haired young woman stated blankly, suddenly feeling a little surprised at all the twists that Ms. Chase's case had brought tonight.
"Perhaps he's schizophrenic," Michael told her absent-mindedly, his mind still occupied with reflections and conclusions about Xander's possible diagnosis of mental disease.
"Onset of schizophrenia usually occurs during early to mid-twenties, and I wouldn't say he's any older than twenty-three," Kelly replied, fearing her own words.
If Xander was actually sick, the blonde nurse wouldn't spare any effort to help him; as the thought of that dark-haired boy deliberately hurting the brunette girl whom he'd honestly showed compassion for earlier wasn't exactly the greatest mental image of the year, at all.
Kelly felt scared and sad for him. It was horrible how good people always seemed to suffer in this world.
Thinking about how this sickness could have led Mr. Harris to almost kill a young woman whom he no doubt loved, even if just as a dear friend – the painful memories he'd have to carry for the rest of his life, the guilt, the fear over his own actions after he'd recovered his sanity upon treatment of the disease...
It was during exactly these moments that Kelly wondered if her career was truly worth it.
"You're probably right. I'll call Psychiatry, then. Make sure the cops don't take Mr. Harris away, will you?" Michael asked, already walking away down the hallway without waiting for an answer from the curly-haired nurse.
Kelly sighed tiredly, and also started to walk away in the opposite direction. Dr. Lewis would have probably prepared a few new charts for patients under her care, and the last thing the nurse needed now was to screw up her career even more than what she'd already done this day.
"Kelly!" Michael then yelled loudly enough, to win his co-workers' and a few patients' attention.
The curly-haired nurse turned around to face the doctor, and Michael mouthed a silent 'good work' at her, which Kelly accepted with a weak smile.
Recognition, encouragement and friendship were exactly what she needed to withstand the tough and emotionally tense routine, which the endless days at St. Matthew's hospital genuinely were.
***
Xander stared at the shrink, as the man mouthed the usual phrases.
Mr. Harris. We just want to help you. You're sick. We're not gonna hurt you. We're your friends.
Shut the hell up, would you? was all the dark-haired boy could think in response.
Xander couldn't stand it anymore. Great, now I'm Crazy Guy...
Cordelia was nearly dead because of him and now, she actually thought he'd tried to kill her.
Was it a spell? Another dirty, unfair card played as part of Evil's plan to stop his mission?
And now a fat man who actually had donut fragments stuck within his beard, was trying to get into his head with a lame Sigmund Freud act.
Chains, spikes and whips didn't even come close to matching the real, excruciating torture of listening to Dr. Robert Grissom's psychiatric bullshit.
"Can I call you Alex?" Robert risked asking cautiously, holding Xander's confiscated ID in his hands.
"Mr. Harris is just fine," the dark-haired boy replied dryly, never bothering to divert his eyes from the psychiatrist's ones.
"Okay then, Mr. Harris," a frustrated Grissom retorted.
The 57-year-old doctor had already spent nearly 25 minutes with this supposedly schizophrenic patient in his office. And, so far, he'd not gotten any answer other than dry nods or more usually utter silence from the dark-haired young man in front of him.
"Don't you want to tell me what you're thinking?" the psychiatrist asked, preparing himself for engaging in a mind game with his patient, and a conversation that could finally lead the two of them somewhere.
The deal is, I'm a time-traveller from the future. One that, after seeing practically everyone I've ever loved dying at the hands of a demon that's a so-called good guy when his soul's around, is here to stop imminent chaos and very likely the end of the world to boot.
"Mr. Harris?" Robert insisted softly, not wanting to scare the patient.
"Uh... there's just nothing really interesting to say, I guess," Xander replied, with the inevitable sarcastic half-smile appearing on his lips.
The young man promptly ignored the psychiatrist's next boring words, deeply lost in his thoughts – he needed to get the hell out of there as soon as possible, and find a way to avoid the hospital security net.
A defeated Dr. Robert Grissom sighed exhaustedly. The truth was, he knew he wouldn't get anywhere with this patient without using more severe methods – perhaps a shock confrontation with reality would bring out the memories of his own actions, and then make him at least talk about and discuss them.
Where the heck are those dummies that were supposed to bring his medication? Grissom wondered, annoyed with the fact that a patient had to wait for decent care because of the incompetence of some minor functionaries at St. Matthew's.
"Why did you hurt that girl, Mr. Harris?" Grissom questioned softly.
And that was the last straw for Xander's embattled, frazzled mind.
"I didn't hurt her," he replied furiously, getting up from his chair in an obvious state of rage.
The psychiatrist promptly pressed the alarm for help, fear starting to consume his whole being. Even though Xander was handcuffed, Robert still wondered why he'd always have to let the patient remain free and not correctly tied to the chair to protect the doctor's person from a possible attack, so he could feel a little more comfortable.
"Mr. Harris, please, calm down," Robert whispered fearfully, trying to hide it and stay firm in front of his patient – but failing miserably.
"Why would I hurt her? I love her! Why'd you think I would ever hurt her?" Xander demanded frenziedly, viciously pacing back and forth along the small, stuffy office.
Soon, three men abruptly entered the room. Two forcefully grabbed Xander, while one of them applied a needle with a dose of sedative into his right forearm.
"Are you all right, Dr. Grissom?" one of the men asked, noticing the psychiatrist's panicked gaze.
"Yes, yes I'm fine. Is the patient fully sedated?" Robert retorted, recovering his composure.
Xander could barely hear the four men's conversation. The young man started to feel his body go weak, each of his muscles flash-paralyzing and his mind slowly but progressively being taken over by a wave of darkness.
Obviously they didn't know how the four of them were bringing about the Apocalypse, the end of the world.
Or perhaps he really was crazy?
Maybe it was that itchy burning sensation, or maybe it was the strong feeling of failure and defeat in Xander's mind, that started the inner mental cascade.
Maybe it's just that I'm too useless to do anything right...
Could he have *really* lost his sanity? This world was a strange and often- changing one, that much Xander already knew.
But was the concept a real or ridiculous possibility? Many things could be responsible for his current situation, a numberless amount of things actually.
Spells, magic, illusion, demon attacks – the list was a never-ending one.
And now, any attempt to think otherwise seemed too painful and pointless. His sedated body was beginning to betray his mind's futile efforts to think clearly.
In fact, it now seemed to dismiss any attempt at thinking beyond a straight concept of past, present and future. Weakness, disappointment and a sudden urge to admit defeat were forcefully overtaking his mind.
Xander started to feel as if he'd finally reached the ultimate bottom of the barrel; and any attempt to get out of that cold, despairing place, would just turn out to be setting himself up for another impending downfall.
But suddenly, an abrupt entrance into the room ferociously interrupted his thoughts.
A familiar face crossed the room, after forcefully knocking unconscious the three men that tried to stop her. And at that point, Xander pretty much knew he could actually be going crazy.
It was odd to realize, that Faith would turn out to be the face that his insanity would come up with. It was a weird and unpredictable place that his subconscious seemed to be wandering through, because the last thing that he'd expected was a last-minute rescue with the rogue Slayer's sudden appearance.
"C'mon Xander, let's get the hell out of here!"
Such a cliched situation was even grotesque; and so damned unlikely to actually happen too, when neither of them were characters in cute fairy tales or unrealistic TV shows, where the good guys were always saved at the last possible moment.
"Xander!"
Or was this a dream? Perhaps he was lost in a literal nightmare, and all the pain and hopelessness would simply magically disappear the moment he opened his eyes, to welcome reality once again.
A warm, comforting place where Anya would hold him tightly, and tell him how much she deeply loved him; a place where Angel was only a vague ally from the past, who you could always poke some fun at.
"Xander?!"
Did I dream it all, this entire time? But then, why don't I feel like I'm dreaming now?
"I'm sorry OK, but you're not exactly giving me any other choice," Faith hit him as she whispered impatiently, after trying futilely to snap Xander out of his apparently entranced state.
All this time, Dr. Robert Grissom had been trying to hide his considerably large body under his office desk, while watching the ongoing events in shock.
He watched as the beautiful brunette, after exhaustively calling out his patient's name, punched him as lightly as her Slayer strength would allow. It obviously hurt, but it was enough to bring his patient back again to full awareness.
"Faith?" an utterly confused Xander managed to whisper.
"Well, no, I'm actually Santa," the brunette Slayer retorted sarcastically, amused at Xander's puzzlement and evidently groggy state.
"H-how?" his supposed tone of incredulity sounded dizzy to Faith's ears, as the sedative's effect became stronger in the young man's body.
"Same way as you, boy toy, but I'd really rather not go into details now," Faith replied pointedly, noticing the frightened figure of Robert Grissom hiding in the opposite corner of the room.
"You," the brunette girl turned her gaze to Robert's scared one. "Gimme your car keys."
The middle-aged psychiatrist didn't think twice about throwing his brand- new BMW's keys into that gorgeous young woman's hands, who accepted them without ceremony and directed his patient to the room's door.
"Faith, I don't know if I can make it – I, I think that I was sedated," Xander informed her, his words no longer following any coherent order to actually question the why's and how's of the girl's - if nothing else, odd and unexpected - presence.
But while the two of them were eluding St. Matthews' security as well as the L.A.P.D., managing to escape successfully from the hospital to a momentarily secure cheap hotel, Xander felt something shiny grow in his soul.
Slowly, almost shyly, a feeling was starting to once again fill his being with its incredibly warm, dazzling strength.
A spark of radiant, ecstatic hope was once more dispelling his doubts and reassuring his dazed mind, with its supremely powerful presence.
***
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