Title: Loose Ends
Author: Jane McCartney
Disclaimer: All the characters you recognize belong to Joss & co. (all hail the crackhead). I'm just fooling around with his universe, with no intention of making money or anything.
Classification: Buffy-Angel crossover
Rating: PG13
Feedback: Yes, please! Doesn't everyone want it?
Email: janemccartney@bol.com.br
Distribution: Anywhere, I don't mind, just credit me and inform me where it's at.
Acknowledgements: Thanks to Theo, who actually made this project a viable one with his amazing and wonderful work â€" I'm truly grateful for your help with the English grammar and all the necessary adaptations. You're my savior.
Note: This is my very first attempt at fan fiction, and English is definitely not my native language, so I'd be happy if you guys didn't go too hard on me â€" please. I'm just doing the best I can here.
Summary: [Buffy-Angel Crossover] Xander shows up in Los Angeles, and brings with him a secret that'll lead him into dangerous territory. Can he cope with that? And his friends, will they be there for him?
***
Faith opened the BMW's door, and a quivering Xander managed to pull himself out of the brunette's supportive embrace.
Awkwardly falling into the back seat of the car, previously stolen from St. Matthew's psychiatrist Dr. Robert Grissom, Xander could do no more than groan painfully.
"Hang on, boy toy, I'm getting us out of here," the Slayer said, sighing and getting behind the wheel. "Everything's gonna work out, just hang on a little while longer," she whispered unconvincingly, while making the expensive car's engine snarl in an animalistic roar.
Xander would have most likely freaked out at her obviously uncertain tone, if the sounds and images surrounding him hadn't start to fade away so suddenly and abruptly.
As darkness covered his awareness and a thick curtain of red blood soaked his cold chest and stained his black T-shirt slowly but furiously, the young man thought this could really mean the end of line for him.
That he would die, and fail everyone.
Again.
And he'd have screamed out loud at the top of his lungs, if the temptation of falling into oblivion and relaxing into a quiet state of unconsciousness didn't sound so appealing to him right at that moment.
Xander knew he had to be strong, but it seemed that any strength he had left was rapidly leaving his body, heart, and soul.
He just needed to rest... maybe, or so the former Zeppo hoped, maybe he'd finally wake up from this creepy nightmare. Maybe...
"Oh, crap," Faith cursed, as the brunette beauty took a quick look over her shoulder and discovered that Xander had fallen unconscious.
"C'mon, God, I know you and me aren't exactly best buds nowadays, but if you help me to get out of this one I swear I'll start to pray every night, and I won't say any dirty words for an entire freaking week!" the female time-traveller pleaded.
Just then the BMW spun madly at an ungraceful angle, making the Slayer lose control for brief moments before recovering it back, and barely avoiding a collision with another car passing by.
"Shit, shit, shit!" Faith snarled wildly, raising her voice louder at each colorful word.
Oookay, I owe you one, Big Guy, the brunette grunted to herself, with a hint of sarcasm in her thoughts. But still, I could really, really use a little help now...
"Let's go people, move your asses! I gotta git, now move!" she gestured wildly to some nearby pedestrians.
And said people took less than a second to get out of the way of the out-of- control vehicle, as soon as their dazed minds registered the imminent danger suddenly roaring along the sidewalk.
Faith quickly managed to take one more look at the unconscious Xander, worry clear on her pale face. Right, serious now. Ten Our Fathers, two days a week without any dirty words and that's it!
As the noisy and irritating sound of loud sirens started to echo maniacally in the young woman's ears, Faith stomped down even harder on the pedal. The silver automobile's speed then increased considerably, leaving behind an obscene amount of smoke that quickly faded into the thick smog of L.A.'s early afternoon.
The Slayer could only hope someone up there was actually hearing her pleas and prayers.
If not... that was something Faith couldn't even start to consider.
Simply because that it could mean the end of her and Xander, and the rest of the world as well.
***
"She's out of danger, you know," a soft voice announced, as Kelly Marshall turned to discover its owner.
Finding Carla Bradshaw's juvenile face, Kelly was only able to sigh at hearing the young nurse, who was a co-worker and friend. In fact the short redhead had been her best friend for as long as she could remember, ever since her very first day at St. Matthew's.
"I know," the curly-haired nurse finally responded, with the same meek tone. "I just don't wanna go now."
"Maybe it's better if you go home, you know? Seriously. Your shift's like, already over, and, honestly, you look like hell," Carla chuckled conversationally, hoping Kelly would actually hear her.
Forgetting, even if for the briefest instant, the natural stubbornness of the blonde nurse the redhead had gotten to know so well.
And knowing that when Kelly got attached to the occasional patient, there'd not be a single soul capable of convincing her not to extend her shift time or whatever it took to stay at their side, waiting for them to wake up and supporting them as far as the blonde was able to.
But now the problem is, Carla considered, the person Kelly's really attached to isn't in the hospital anymore.
Unfortunately Ms. Cordelia Chase had become the focus of Kelly's obsession, once the true target of her preoccupation had flown the coop with that other brunette girl, Faith Adams, into the darkness of the night.
"Geez, thanks Car," the curly-haired blonde grinned, sending a sarcastic but light-hearted glance at the redheaded nurse. "Guess I don't need a mirror to destroy the old self-stem, I've got you for the job."
"You can bet on that, girl. 'Cause right now, either you take a bath or you'll have to find someplace elsewhere to sleep â€" I don't wanna be near a stinky nurse who's spent the last 36 hours on shift."
Kelly raised an eyebrow at her, and Carla just smirked evilly. "But I'm sure Dr. Penn wouldn't mind that much, making a place in his bed for you..."
"You're evil," the curly-haired young woman stated simply, sending her roommate a murderous glance.
Anyway, Kelly finally gave up. "Yeah, maybe you're right. And that's almost a miracle," it was her turn to smirk, and Carla's to sent the murderous gaze. "I really should go home. I'm kinda tired, too. Dr. Lewis is a real pain in the ass, and she just didn't stop bitching at me the whole day."
"I already called her friends," Carla informed the blonde, suddenly serious, and Kelly looked at her with a curious expression. "Ms. Chase, I mean. I don't know why someone didn't do it immediately last night, but they're coming now."
"Maybe it's because the hospital pretty much became a three-ring circus, after Xander and that other girl managed to escape," Marshall mused out loud, and the redhead nodded thoughtfully.
Kelly sent one last gaze at the sleeping form of the brunette girl lying in the hospital bed, and sighed before leaving the room.
What have you done, Xander Harris? the nurse thought, as a strong shiver rocked her to the core. And where the hell are you?
***
[Somewhere in a land of dreams, where nothing is as what it seems]
"Isn't that place supposed to be just a pile of rubble, and a lot of bad memories?" Xander Harris asked, as Cordelia Chase looked up and nodded slowly.
"You noticed that too, huh?" Cordy replied, taking another look at the amazingly reconstructed structure of the bombed-out Sunnydale High School.
"Kinda hard not to. That place pretty much used to be my biggest nightmare, I kid you not. That freaky gym teacher still makes me shiver. Of course, I'll always have pleasant memories of one special place," the dark-haired young man grinned, as the seer's face twisted into a frown.
"What place?" Cordelia asked, a curious look in her face.
Xander's smirk grew even wider. "The utility closet."
The beautiful brunette woman rolled her eyes, but she couldn't prevent a smile appearing on her generous lips. "You're still so... you."
"Well, thanks," Xander snorted sarcastically. "But I got the hint that that wasn't exactly a compliment."
Now, it was Cordelia's turn to grin wildly. "Oh, it took you that long to figure it out, Einstein?"
"Tramp."
"Loo-ser!" Cordelia replied in a singsong tone, and Xander was the one who rolled his eyes this time.
"Whaddaya think about maturing a little? Some people would say it sounds like a good idea, you know," the dark-haired time-traveller retorted, his voice full of irony.
"Well, well, well," the brunette purred. "Ladies and gentlemen, there's no illusions or tricks here... the King of Cretins is actually talking about mature, rational behavior! This was a TV show, I think we could even beat 'Friends', what do you think? The ratings would go through the roof. After all, something like that's gotta be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity!"
Cordelia suddenly fell backwards, and immediately snapped out an 'ouch'. "What was that for?!" she then demanded, rubbing her shoulder, the very same one that Xander had lightly tapped seconds ago.
"I like 'Friends', so I thought I could give immaturity one last shot. After all, we were amigos for lo these many long years..." Xander concluded his nonsensical logic, grinning bitterly as Cordelia got up.
The former odd couple of Sunnydale locked furious glances for several seconds.
And, unable to contain themselves any longer, they finally burst out in laughter.
It took another good ten seconds until they managed to stop laughing, at least enough to recover full rationality, equilibrium and composure.
Not necessarily in that order.
Cordelia stretched up to the tips of her toes, so she could reach the dark- haired boy's superior height. Doing so, and winning an expectant and confused glance from Xander, the young woman kissed his cheek and then quickly relaxed, smiling.
"What was that for?" Xander asked, returning her smile.
"I missed you. A helluva lot," Cordelia then answered, a meek tone in her voice.
The former Zeppo stared at her hazel eyes in utter confusion, for another good ten seconds. "I missed you too, Queen C," Xander finally said, stroking her cheek softly. "A helluva lot."
They then stayed still for several minutes, in utter silence as they kept just looking at each other in puzzlement.
"So," Xander finally broke the silence. "Is all this happening in your head, or mine?"
Cordelia shrugged, shocking her head. "Who knows? Maybe both. Maybe neither. Um, are you sleeping too?"
"Yeah, Faith's taking me somewhere. Don't know if I'm gonna make it, though. Thing is, we can't just head over to a hospital. Our asses are grass, and there's a lot of lawnmowers coming. So, what's your story?"
"Well, you kinda hurt me and I think I'm still pretty out of it. And before you say anything I know it's not your fault, dorkhead. I mean, I know now, but I probably won't when I wake up. I think it's a spell or something. Gosh, but that's like so you. Always heading directly to where the problem is..."
A moment's pause. "Are you a masochist?" Cordelia then asked with a frown.
"Eww, no!" Xander immediately snapped out in return. "And, one more thing: eww, eww, eww! Dirty mind ya got here, sweetheart!"
"What? You could be!" the brunette quickly tried to defend herself. "It's not like the most unusual thing, after all. Light spanks, nothing too bad..."
Her companion raised his eyebrows skeptically.
"I'm not talking about me, you pervert," Cordelia snorted, rolling her hazel eyes in annoyance.
"Whatever."
The seer and the time-traveller went silent again. Suddenly though, an approaching figure called their attention. And when Xander and Cordelia turned around, Angel was suddenly there by their side, dressed all in white. In the sunlight.
"Oookay, that's definitely not my mind working here," the former construction worker grunted.
"It's mine," Cordelia grinned playfully.
But then her beautiful face abruptly took on a sudden twisted expression of sadness, one that immediately shattered Xander's heart.
"I'm gonna lose him, aren't I?" the brunette questioned him sadly, though Xander knew she was actually stating it as a fact.
And that was enough to make him feel like a blazing arrow had just burst straight through his heart all over again, shattering it into even more pieces at his former girlfriend's misery.
For Cordelia, his silence was all she needed. A single tear fell down her face, the simple contact seeming to burn her skin in an almost unbearable pain.
Suddenly, Angel was simply gone and Cordelia just gazed at her former boyfriend, with such an intense stare that Xander thought he'd have abruptly shivered if he wasn't holding himself with both arms, to prevent that from ever happening.
"And I'm going to lose you too," the brunette seer stated softly.
Xander glanced at her, a shocked look in his soft brown eyes. "I'm sorry. But I gotta do this, Cor. You can't know how it was... Buffy, laying dead in my arms... finding Dawn... and Anya..." the last word was practically an incomprehensible sob.
Cordelia sighed. "But that doesn't keep me from wishing things were different."
"I know," the former Zeppo replied, suddenly feeling uncomfortable. "I keep wishing that too. Over and over and over. All the time. But it's just being naïve, Cordy. It's just stupid, wishing. It's just stupid."
The brunette laughed bitterly. And, as the sound of her laughter started fading away, an incredible and nervous look of grief overtook her features. "Xander Harris, huh? You sure changed a lot."
Xander and Cordelia locked their gazes upon each other for seconds, that seemed like entire centuries.
After that, they didn't talk anymore. They didn't even look at each other anymore. And, suddenly, their former high school wasn't there anymore either.
They just waited together, until the moment where they would finally surrender to the pull of consciousness and forget all about this dream.
The shared words and meaningful gazes were a bountiful treasure that had passed between two brave people who'd used to be just a scared, innocent boy and girl.
Two people who'd loved each other so confusedly and madly that they hadn't been able to understand how special their love truly had been, back in high school.
How pure, and sincere, and at the same time powerful it had been â€" before the Fates had sacrificed it on the bloody altar of necessity, and the Powers sent them off on different destinies.
The whole time, until that very last moment, Xander and Cordelia just kept holding hands.
***
[Somewhere in the outskirts of Los Angeles]
"Don't call him poof. Or Peaches. Or, or anything. Don't even talk to him," Buffy nervously snapped in Spike's direction, the moment they managed to get a second alone. "And, and most of all, don't, you know, don't mention anything about his hair. Angel's a little sensitive about that topic. OK, make that a lot. Also, uh, don't, well, don't be you."
The vampire scowled at the blonde Slayer's unceasing babble with unmistakable sarcasm in his eyes, and raised an eyebrow. "Not to worry pet, Spikey-dog will just put on his bleedin' muzzle when we get there, and not speak a word to ol' Peaches..."
Buffy's eyes sparkled in sudden hope, and the young woman gazed at him with the perfect innocence of a five-year-old kid, her voice suddenly mellow and expectant. "Will you really?"
"Bloody hell, no! If the big poof don't want me around, that's just one more reason to not go all warm 'n fuzzy," Spike promptly replied, sounding a little too irritated for Buffy's liking.
"Spike, I'm serious! Dead serious!" the Slayer exclaimed, in a rougher voice and with an unfriendly expression.
"Bet ya are, luv," the vampire replied nastily, with a distinct hint of irony.
Buffy grunted wildly, feeling suddenly very exhausted and frustrated. "Spike, this is serious," she spoke in a considerably calmer voice, quickly surprising the vampire.
"We really don't know what we're facing here, and I... oh what the hell, whatever. Look, you know I need you on board. Please, just please â€" promise me you won't be mean to Angel. Just don't... you know, just don't."
Spike smirked at her, unexpectedly linking his arm with hers and squeezing it gingerly â€" very much to Buffy's surprise, making her jump awkwardly for the sudden movement. "Can't promise nothin' pet, and I ain't gonna be just bloody watching if Angelus starts the prize-fight. All right, gonna miss out on poking some fun at Soul Boy but I'll try. For the whelp's sake, I mean. Not for Monkey Boy per se, but 'cause he's your bloody friend..."
Buffy smiled thinly at him. She knew that, just by saying this, Spike was already reaching his limit where the matter concerned her former boyfriend â€" and using Xander as an excuse had just made everything even more evident and clear.
The blonde girl softly held his hand with hers, not really knowing what she was doing.
And not really bothering to think about it, too.
"Thanks. That means a heckuva lot to me."
Spike squeezed his hand a little more strongly against Buffy's and then leered at her, trying to fake innocence. "Does that mean I get a kiss o' gratitude?"
There was one moment of sweet anticipation...
"Oy, that hurt!" the vampire cried out, as Buffy's swift punch encountered his arm.
"Pig," the Slayer said, sounding unconvincing even to her own ears.
Spike kept silent for a few brief seconds, and then replied, his words equally non-persuasive. "Sod off, pet."
And they kept staying like that, holding hands and looking very much like a passionate couple â€" two lovers that were drawn into a deep silence they knew only they could share.
And if Spike and Buffy were in fact that kind of couple, well... that was still a matter to be cleared up.
Given that the chances of their complicated relationship being that simple were practically the same as having the Hellmouth free of demons, on a day you actually needed things to go good and problem-free.
And, with all their experiences during all those years in good old Sunnydale, what that actually meant was that the chances of this were a big, fat zero.
Aggressive and troubled sex, an odd complicity, denial, lust, repulsion, passion, contradiction and a bottomless feeling of connection were the things that characterized their secret union, and what had brought so many sleepless nights in both Spike and Buffy's existence.
They'd shared the deepest physical intimacy more than once, and that was a fact. And there had been a lot more than just one act of passion, to be sure. What had the record been, eight times? During the one night?
That wasn't important, though. Where they were going, where precisely it had all started, what her friends would say... those were questions Buffy really didn't want to begin thinking about, already feeling an imminent headache arising from the complex web of contradictions, fears and vulnerability.
It was exactly moments like these that created the greatest doubts, however.
Apart from the whole complexity bit and the confused judgments, there was one undeniable fact. The most important thing of all; when the two of them were together there was a primal sense of comfort and feeling, a sense of being oddly complete for just that timeless instant.
Without needing to wonder about the future and the supposed right thing to do, or think about the past and its painful memories.
Forgetting that a word people called 'reason' existed, and rational thinking didn't bring you the right thing â€" and that, maybe, irony was just a concept.
Buffy and Spike knew that they should be searching for the most comforting thoughts in their situation, ones that didn't make them think about all the mistakes they could possibly be making.
But at the same time, the Slayer and the vampire couldn't help thinking this was often like trying to do the right thing, when all the choices one had sucked.
In any case, right now Buffy was afraid and scared â€" one of her best friends could be in real serious trouble, and she couldn't help but feel completely powerless to do anything about it.
And only another Slayer could tell how suffocating and painful it was for Buffy, to feel like that.
Holding hands with Spike, it was a succor that made her feel better and calmer. But the bigger question was always lingering in her mind; the blonde Slayer had questioned herself, ever since this chaotic relationship had first started, if that was really all there was to it.
Do I love him? Am I in love with a soulless killer?
Good question. Was she in love with Spike?
Hell, she so didn't know. To be completely honest, Buffy feared the answer so much that sometimes it was hard just to breathe, as her greatest fear always seemed to follow her no matter where she went.
And then of course there was the other question.
Was she wrong? Had she come back wrong, no matter what Tara had told her about the spell?
Buffy decided to shove these thoughts as far away from her mind as she was able to.
On any other day, that could have been the toughest thing the blonde girl could have tried to do, an exercise in futility â€" to not think about her inner confusion. At any hour of the day, that was almost impossible.
Any hour, any minute, any second â€" while preparing Dawn's lunch for school, patrolling, going to work, being at the Magic Box...
Did I come back wrong? That was the thought that had occupied Buffy's mind day and night.
But now another situation had cropped up, and it hadn't brought Buffy any relief of any kind â€" apart from briefly distracting her about Spike and her so-called life.
Xander. Her friend. Her keeper. Her heart. Her rock.
Apart from Willow and Dawn, her greatest weak spot.
Buffy didn't know when the bad feeling had started, precisely. Possibly it had been even before Wesley's phone call to Sunnydale. She knew something had been bothering her, anyway...
Something aching inside her incredibly wildly, that she'd tried to simply ignore the whole day. Something her Slayersense couldn't deny was there, though.
The Scooby Gang was always in some kind of trouble, that was an undeniable truth. And this accurate fact was exactly what twisted the Slayer's heart the most right now: why did she feel as if she was going to lose Xander today?
No. Buffy decided she wouldn't think like that. She couldn't. It was safer to think about Spike. It was safer to just let it all go.
And, besides, she had come back wrong.
How the hell could she have been right, then?
For the first time, in that very insane logic, the blonde Slayer could only wish she had, in fact, come back wrong. If that was what it took for her certainty about losing Xander in the very near future to be a delusion and falsehood, she wouldn't think twice about embracing it.
She had to be wrong.
***
"Hey! Nurse Marshall!" a yelling voice unexpectedly snapped Kelly out of her thoughts, making the curly-haired young woman turn around to search for whoever was calling her as she left the hospital building.
The nurse then saw an utterly wet Michael Penn as the sandy-haired doctor walked to her side, shivering and rubbing his hands together as if he was trying to warm them. "Damn, but I'm gonna kill those little bastards!"
Kelly couldn't help but raise an eyebrow. "Didn't your mother teach you not to play outside when it's raining?"
The young doctor forced a stiff smile, still wiping the palms of his hands. "Ha-ha, very funny Nurse Marshall. I'm just gonna need to remember to start laughing sometime..."
Kelly rolled her eyes. "What do you want, Dr. Penn? I'm officially off duty since, uh..." the blonde woman took a look at her watch, and turned her head in Michael's direction again. "Exactly ten minutes ago. And I won't go back there, even if they pay me a thousand million dollars."
Michael just sent an odd glance at her direction.
"Well, I might in the case of you know, a thousand million dollars, 'cause that's a whole lot of money and my apartment could use some redecorating..." Kelly reconsidered thoughtfully, and the sandy-haired doctor just shrugged in amused puzzlement.
"You're a very strange lady, Nurse Marshall." Kelly sent him a murderous gaze, and Michael's grin widened even more. "But a lovely one..."
The curly-haired blonde looked away, suddenly feeling a little uncomfortable. She then asked him, trying to make small talk and erase the awkward silence, "So, how did you got all wet anyway?"
"Oh, that?" the young doctor pointed to his soaked clothes. "A couple of kids with water pistols. A school bus driver felt a chest pain, and the teacher had to drive them here and brought the whole class with her. Just my luck, I guess."
The blonde nurse burst out in unexpected laughter and Michael just stood there, a dumb expression on his face. "You wouldn't happen to be finding my suffering amusing, now would you Nurse Marshall?"
"No, I, I really don't..." Kelly said, panting on account of her continuous laughter. "I just..." she hiccuped, trying to form a sentence that was actually coherent.
"I just, I just remembered something funny," the blonde finally managed to say, recomposing herself a little bit. "I wasn't laughing at you," Kelly finished lamely.
"Yeah, let's just pretend as if I bought that," Michael snorted. "Anyway, I was thinking about grabbing something to eat at that new deli around the corner. So, wanna come? After all those extra hours on shift, I could definitely go for that double turkey sandwich that they sell. Lewis says the food there's a real blessing, if you compare it to the hospital's cafeteria..."
Kelly shivered at hearing the female doctor's name. After last night's troubled shift, Dr. Lewis wasn't the most pleasant thing she could think about, after all.
"As if beating St. Matthew's food is the hardest thing in the world," she joked, as Kelly's features suddenly took on a twisted expression of disgust. "What's with hospitals and bad food, anyway? Is it some kind of creepy worldwide conspiracy? For God's sake, the poor patients are already suffering..."
That time, it was Penn's turn to laugh. "Tell me about it... even I can cook better, and in case you haven't tried my cuisine, my own dog rejects it. I think that says a lot about the matter..."
Kelly grinned lightly. "It won't be me who'll disbelieve you, Dr. Penn."
"Yeah, yeah..." Michael replied absent-mindedly, passing a hand through his sandy-haired wet locks. "So, wanna grab something to eat or not?"
"You paying?" the blonde nurse glanced at him friskily.
"Uh, lemme see... no?" the doctor replied, with the same playful tone.
"Spoilsport."
"OK, a coffee, and that's all," Michael offered, finding it strangely easy to surrender at the nurse's sweet smile.
"I can get that in the hospital, you know. That's all we drink in there," the curly-haired young woman pointed out, sending him an unexpectedly wild grin. "And I know you'll be kind enough to pay for a king-size tuna sandwich for me, won't you?"
"The most expensive one?" the doctor stuttered, raising his eyebrows with uncertainty and, at the same time, incredulity. "Wishful thinking. They don't pay me that much at this hospital, Nurse Marshall."
"What about your Armani suits? They must cost a fortune, I'm sure!" she promptly accused him.
"Sale," was Michael's reply. He said it in a small and, Kelly noticed, slightly embarrassed voice. So the nurse sent a biting smirk at him.
"All right, so you got me. I buy my clothes on sale. Big deal. That doesn't mean I'm supposed to pay for the most expensive deli sandwich for you, Nurse Marshall," the doctor blurted out, undeniably uncertain in voice, but trying to maintain a tough exterior.
The nurse made her best effort at a sweet smile. "Oh, c'mon Dr. Penn. I ran out of money yesterday, I had to pay rent. Uh, a three-months-late rent at that! You wouldn't let a poor little girl like me starve to death, would you?"
"It wouldn't be such a bad idea," Penn grunted under his breath, and Kelly just grinned.
The sandy-haired man could be a real pain in the ass while lost within his presumptuous, arrogant M.D. attitude, truth to be told.
But now, without the doctor-nurse mindset and finally leaving St. Matthews' haunting ambience behind as they walked along during that cold day, Kelly couldn't help but giggle to herself like a silly schoolgirl.
To the blonde, Michael Penn looked exactly like the kind of guy who, back in high school, the badass football players (that were unavoidable in every genuine American school environment) would steal lunches from.
"Did they find that Alex Harris guy yet?"
Nurse Marshall instantly gasped at hearing the dark-haired boy's name, as if Michael had just touched on something she'd have rather forgotten â€" which, in fact, she was trying to do, with an almost desperate strength.
Which, as lucky as Kelly always was, had turned out to be a totally futile attempt and complete disaster.
The truth was, Ms. Marshall wasn't able to forget last night's confused and appalling events. And, for some odd reason, the curly-haired nurse was pretty sure that she'd never be totally able to do so.
The deep feeling of failure, to Cordelia, to Xander â€" it was almost suffocating and unbearable for her. But Kelly didn't want to go over any of that again. Maybe she'd finally learned her lesson...
Never get too attached to patients or their relatives, Nurse Marshall, the blonde woman could even hear Dr. Lewis' voice warning her. It just makes everything more difficult.
The problem is, Kelly thought, sighing unconsciously, I know I'd rather just quit nursing altogether, because it'd be too hard for me to change my take on that.
"Nurse Marshall?"
Michael's voice finally managed to snap the blonde out of her own little world, and she just sent him an embarrassed glance.
"You were totally out of it for fifteen whole seconds, are you okay?" the doctor's worried voice asked carefully.
"Xander," Kelly then said, winning nothing more than a puzzled look from Michael. "It's not Alex, it's Xander."
"Oh," Penn replied cautiously, confused. "OK. Xander, yeah, I remember now. The wacko with the strange name. Did you know that his middle name's actually Lavelle? I saw it on his confiscated ID. Poor kid â€" I mean, it's not that hard to understand why he snapped," Michael chuckled, but immediately stopped when Kelly's face stared at him with an incredulous gaze in her wide ocean-green eyes.
At that very moment, the sandy-haired man cursed himself for his usual lack of thought before actually saying something.
"Carla told me she was worried about you. She said she thought you were getting too involved in Ms. Chase's case, and his own case later," Michael stated, a slight tone of accusation reaching Kelly's ears.
"What else did she tell you?" the nurse asked demandingly, in a bitter tone that Michael could barely associate with the sweet, tender nurse he'd been talking to seconds ago.
"Carla's just worried..."
"Well, so then she'll just have to drop it!" Kelly suddenly exploded. "There's something wrong with that man, Michael, and I just â€" I failed with him. He... I'm sure he didn't... that, that headless street guy, I mean... I just, I just thought I could help him, but he's just..."
"Another homicidal maniac," the sandy-haired doctor completed softly. "I'm sorry Kelly, I didn't know this case had affected you so much. I'd have been more careful with my words if I had..."
The blonde nurse looked down to the pavement, and then back at his eyes. And much to Michael's surprise, Kelly started to chuckle.
"What?" the clueless young doctor asked.
"It's just that it's the first time you've ever called me Kelly, and not Nurse Marshall," she mused, the scene somehow looking comical to Michael given her voice was still a little snippy.
"Well, get used to it," the man replied playfully.
The nurse opened her mouth to retort, but a sudden scream pleading for help quickly made them run towards the voice's location, in a nearby alley.
And when Michael and Kelly finally located the screamer, they had to make a strong effort not to scream out loud themselves.
A scream of fear, puzzlement, astonishment, surprise, panic... they honestly couldn't tell.
A brunette young woman, the same one they recognized as Faith the prison escapee from TV, was pointing Big Aunt Mona's rifle right in their faces. And Xander Harris' body was leaning against one of the walls, unconscious and bleeding nastily.
"Are you doctors?" the Slayer demanded instantly, and while Michael slowly nodded, Kelly only shook her head.
"I'm a nurse," Kelly decided to say, as softly and harmlessly as she could.
The brunette girl started to nervously move backwards, till she finally stopped and lowered herself down next to where Xander was. Faith waved for the curly-haired blonde and the young doctor to come over, never losing her aim at them.
"Please..." the brunette began confusedly, sounding to Marshall and Penn way too insecure and frightened for the cold and dangerous murderer that the news had announced her to be. "I, I couldn't risk it any longer, he's dying... please, just save him and I won't hurt you. You don't know what'll happen if he... please, just save him..."
Kelly gulped in sudden fear, as she exchanged a troubled look with Michael.
She'd thought this couldn't have gotten any more complicated. But Destiny had its own smooth way to show the blonde nurse how wrong and mistaken she could actually be.
***
Review!
Author: Jane McCartney
Disclaimer: All the characters you recognize belong to Joss & co. (all hail the crackhead). I'm just fooling around with his universe, with no intention of making money or anything.
Classification: Buffy-Angel crossover
Rating: PG13
Feedback: Yes, please! Doesn't everyone want it?
Email: janemccartney@bol.com.br
Distribution: Anywhere, I don't mind, just credit me and inform me where it's at.
Acknowledgements: Thanks to Theo, who actually made this project a viable one with his amazing and wonderful work â€" I'm truly grateful for your help with the English grammar and all the necessary adaptations. You're my savior.
Note: This is my very first attempt at fan fiction, and English is definitely not my native language, so I'd be happy if you guys didn't go too hard on me â€" please. I'm just doing the best I can here.
Summary: [Buffy-Angel Crossover] Xander shows up in Los Angeles, and brings with him a secret that'll lead him into dangerous territory. Can he cope with that? And his friends, will they be there for him?
***
Faith opened the BMW's door, and a quivering Xander managed to pull himself out of the brunette's supportive embrace.
Awkwardly falling into the back seat of the car, previously stolen from St. Matthew's psychiatrist Dr. Robert Grissom, Xander could do no more than groan painfully.
"Hang on, boy toy, I'm getting us out of here," the Slayer said, sighing and getting behind the wheel. "Everything's gonna work out, just hang on a little while longer," she whispered unconvincingly, while making the expensive car's engine snarl in an animalistic roar.
Xander would have most likely freaked out at her obviously uncertain tone, if the sounds and images surrounding him hadn't start to fade away so suddenly and abruptly.
As darkness covered his awareness and a thick curtain of red blood soaked his cold chest and stained his black T-shirt slowly but furiously, the young man thought this could really mean the end of line for him.
That he would die, and fail everyone.
Again.
And he'd have screamed out loud at the top of his lungs, if the temptation of falling into oblivion and relaxing into a quiet state of unconsciousness didn't sound so appealing to him right at that moment.
Xander knew he had to be strong, but it seemed that any strength he had left was rapidly leaving his body, heart, and soul.
He just needed to rest... maybe, or so the former Zeppo hoped, maybe he'd finally wake up from this creepy nightmare. Maybe...
"Oh, crap," Faith cursed, as the brunette beauty took a quick look over her shoulder and discovered that Xander had fallen unconscious.
"C'mon, God, I know you and me aren't exactly best buds nowadays, but if you help me to get out of this one I swear I'll start to pray every night, and I won't say any dirty words for an entire freaking week!" the female time-traveller pleaded.
Just then the BMW spun madly at an ungraceful angle, making the Slayer lose control for brief moments before recovering it back, and barely avoiding a collision with another car passing by.
"Shit, shit, shit!" Faith snarled wildly, raising her voice louder at each colorful word.
Oookay, I owe you one, Big Guy, the brunette grunted to herself, with a hint of sarcasm in her thoughts. But still, I could really, really use a little help now...
"Let's go people, move your asses! I gotta git, now move!" she gestured wildly to some nearby pedestrians.
And said people took less than a second to get out of the way of the out-of- control vehicle, as soon as their dazed minds registered the imminent danger suddenly roaring along the sidewalk.
Faith quickly managed to take one more look at the unconscious Xander, worry clear on her pale face. Right, serious now. Ten Our Fathers, two days a week without any dirty words and that's it!
As the noisy and irritating sound of loud sirens started to echo maniacally in the young woman's ears, Faith stomped down even harder on the pedal. The silver automobile's speed then increased considerably, leaving behind an obscene amount of smoke that quickly faded into the thick smog of L.A.'s early afternoon.
The Slayer could only hope someone up there was actually hearing her pleas and prayers.
If not... that was something Faith couldn't even start to consider.
Simply because that it could mean the end of her and Xander, and the rest of the world as well.
***
"She's out of danger, you know," a soft voice announced, as Kelly Marshall turned to discover its owner.
Finding Carla Bradshaw's juvenile face, Kelly was only able to sigh at hearing the young nurse, who was a co-worker and friend. In fact the short redhead had been her best friend for as long as she could remember, ever since her very first day at St. Matthew's.
"I know," the curly-haired nurse finally responded, with the same meek tone. "I just don't wanna go now."
"Maybe it's better if you go home, you know? Seriously. Your shift's like, already over, and, honestly, you look like hell," Carla chuckled conversationally, hoping Kelly would actually hear her.
Forgetting, even if for the briefest instant, the natural stubbornness of the blonde nurse the redhead had gotten to know so well.
And knowing that when Kelly got attached to the occasional patient, there'd not be a single soul capable of convincing her not to extend her shift time or whatever it took to stay at their side, waiting for them to wake up and supporting them as far as the blonde was able to.
But now the problem is, Carla considered, the person Kelly's really attached to isn't in the hospital anymore.
Unfortunately Ms. Cordelia Chase had become the focus of Kelly's obsession, once the true target of her preoccupation had flown the coop with that other brunette girl, Faith Adams, into the darkness of the night.
"Geez, thanks Car," the curly-haired blonde grinned, sending a sarcastic but light-hearted glance at the redheaded nurse. "Guess I don't need a mirror to destroy the old self-stem, I've got you for the job."
"You can bet on that, girl. 'Cause right now, either you take a bath or you'll have to find someplace elsewhere to sleep â€" I don't wanna be near a stinky nurse who's spent the last 36 hours on shift."
Kelly raised an eyebrow at her, and Carla just smirked evilly. "But I'm sure Dr. Penn wouldn't mind that much, making a place in his bed for you..."
"You're evil," the curly-haired young woman stated simply, sending her roommate a murderous glance.
Anyway, Kelly finally gave up. "Yeah, maybe you're right. And that's almost a miracle," it was her turn to smirk, and Carla's to sent the murderous gaze. "I really should go home. I'm kinda tired, too. Dr. Lewis is a real pain in the ass, and she just didn't stop bitching at me the whole day."
"I already called her friends," Carla informed the blonde, suddenly serious, and Kelly looked at her with a curious expression. "Ms. Chase, I mean. I don't know why someone didn't do it immediately last night, but they're coming now."
"Maybe it's because the hospital pretty much became a three-ring circus, after Xander and that other girl managed to escape," Marshall mused out loud, and the redhead nodded thoughtfully.
Kelly sent one last gaze at the sleeping form of the brunette girl lying in the hospital bed, and sighed before leaving the room.
What have you done, Xander Harris? the nurse thought, as a strong shiver rocked her to the core. And where the hell are you?
***
[Somewhere in a land of dreams, where nothing is as what it seems]
"Isn't that place supposed to be just a pile of rubble, and a lot of bad memories?" Xander Harris asked, as Cordelia Chase looked up and nodded slowly.
"You noticed that too, huh?" Cordy replied, taking another look at the amazingly reconstructed structure of the bombed-out Sunnydale High School.
"Kinda hard not to. That place pretty much used to be my biggest nightmare, I kid you not. That freaky gym teacher still makes me shiver. Of course, I'll always have pleasant memories of one special place," the dark-haired young man grinned, as the seer's face twisted into a frown.
"What place?" Cordelia asked, a curious look in her face.
Xander's smirk grew even wider. "The utility closet."
The beautiful brunette woman rolled her eyes, but she couldn't prevent a smile appearing on her generous lips. "You're still so... you."
"Well, thanks," Xander snorted sarcastically. "But I got the hint that that wasn't exactly a compliment."
Now, it was Cordelia's turn to grin wildly. "Oh, it took you that long to figure it out, Einstein?"
"Tramp."
"Loo-ser!" Cordelia replied in a singsong tone, and Xander was the one who rolled his eyes this time.
"Whaddaya think about maturing a little? Some people would say it sounds like a good idea, you know," the dark-haired time-traveller retorted, his voice full of irony.
"Well, well, well," the brunette purred. "Ladies and gentlemen, there's no illusions or tricks here... the King of Cretins is actually talking about mature, rational behavior! This was a TV show, I think we could even beat 'Friends', what do you think? The ratings would go through the roof. After all, something like that's gotta be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity!"
Cordelia suddenly fell backwards, and immediately snapped out an 'ouch'. "What was that for?!" she then demanded, rubbing her shoulder, the very same one that Xander had lightly tapped seconds ago.
"I like 'Friends', so I thought I could give immaturity one last shot. After all, we were amigos for lo these many long years..." Xander concluded his nonsensical logic, grinning bitterly as Cordelia got up.
The former odd couple of Sunnydale locked furious glances for several seconds.
And, unable to contain themselves any longer, they finally burst out in laughter.
It took another good ten seconds until they managed to stop laughing, at least enough to recover full rationality, equilibrium and composure.
Not necessarily in that order.
Cordelia stretched up to the tips of her toes, so she could reach the dark- haired boy's superior height. Doing so, and winning an expectant and confused glance from Xander, the young woman kissed his cheek and then quickly relaxed, smiling.
"What was that for?" Xander asked, returning her smile.
"I missed you. A helluva lot," Cordelia then answered, a meek tone in her voice.
The former Zeppo stared at her hazel eyes in utter confusion, for another good ten seconds. "I missed you too, Queen C," Xander finally said, stroking her cheek softly. "A helluva lot."
They then stayed still for several minutes, in utter silence as they kept just looking at each other in puzzlement.
"So," Xander finally broke the silence. "Is all this happening in your head, or mine?"
Cordelia shrugged, shocking her head. "Who knows? Maybe both. Maybe neither. Um, are you sleeping too?"
"Yeah, Faith's taking me somewhere. Don't know if I'm gonna make it, though. Thing is, we can't just head over to a hospital. Our asses are grass, and there's a lot of lawnmowers coming. So, what's your story?"
"Well, you kinda hurt me and I think I'm still pretty out of it. And before you say anything I know it's not your fault, dorkhead. I mean, I know now, but I probably won't when I wake up. I think it's a spell or something. Gosh, but that's like so you. Always heading directly to where the problem is..."
A moment's pause. "Are you a masochist?" Cordelia then asked with a frown.
"Eww, no!" Xander immediately snapped out in return. "And, one more thing: eww, eww, eww! Dirty mind ya got here, sweetheart!"
"What? You could be!" the brunette quickly tried to defend herself. "It's not like the most unusual thing, after all. Light spanks, nothing too bad..."
Her companion raised his eyebrows skeptically.
"I'm not talking about me, you pervert," Cordelia snorted, rolling her hazel eyes in annoyance.
"Whatever."
The seer and the time-traveller went silent again. Suddenly though, an approaching figure called their attention. And when Xander and Cordelia turned around, Angel was suddenly there by their side, dressed all in white. In the sunlight.
"Oookay, that's definitely not my mind working here," the former construction worker grunted.
"It's mine," Cordelia grinned playfully.
But then her beautiful face abruptly took on a sudden twisted expression of sadness, one that immediately shattered Xander's heart.
"I'm gonna lose him, aren't I?" the brunette questioned him sadly, though Xander knew she was actually stating it as a fact.
And that was enough to make him feel like a blazing arrow had just burst straight through his heart all over again, shattering it into even more pieces at his former girlfriend's misery.
For Cordelia, his silence was all she needed. A single tear fell down her face, the simple contact seeming to burn her skin in an almost unbearable pain.
Suddenly, Angel was simply gone and Cordelia just gazed at her former boyfriend, with such an intense stare that Xander thought he'd have abruptly shivered if he wasn't holding himself with both arms, to prevent that from ever happening.
"And I'm going to lose you too," the brunette seer stated softly.
Xander glanced at her, a shocked look in his soft brown eyes. "I'm sorry. But I gotta do this, Cor. You can't know how it was... Buffy, laying dead in my arms... finding Dawn... and Anya..." the last word was practically an incomprehensible sob.
Cordelia sighed. "But that doesn't keep me from wishing things were different."
"I know," the former Zeppo replied, suddenly feeling uncomfortable. "I keep wishing that too. Over and over and over. All the time. But it's just being naïve, Cordy. It's just stupid, wishing. It's just stupid."
The brunette laughed bitterly. And, as the sound of her laughter started fading away, an incredible and nervous look of grief overtook her features. "Xander Harris, huh? You sure changed a lot."
Xander and Cordelia locked their gazes upon each other for seconds, that seemed like entire centuries.
After that, they didn't talk anymore. They didn't even look at each other anymore. And, suddenly, their former high school wasn't there anymore either.
They just waited together, until the moment where they would finally surrender to the pull of consciousness and forget all about this dream.
The shared words and meaningful gazes were a bountiful treasure that had passed between two brave people who'd used to be just a scared, innocent boy and girl.
Two people who'd loved each other so confusedly and madly that they hadn't been able to understand how special their love truly had been, back in high school.
How pure, and sincere, and at the same time powerful it had been â€" before the Fates had sacrificed it on the bloody altar of necessity, and the Powers sent them off on different destinies.
The whole time, until that very last moment, Xander and Cordelia just kept holding hands.
***
[Somewhere in the outskirts of Los Angeles]
"Don't call him poof. Or Peaches. Or, or anything. Don't even talk to him," Buffy nervously snapped in Spike's direction, the moment they managed to get a second alone. "And, and most of all, don't, you know, don't mention anything about his hair. Angel's a little sensitive about that topic. OK, make that a lot. Also, uh, don't, well, don't be you."
The vampire scowled at the blonde Slayer's unceasing babble with unmistakable sarcasm in his eyes, and raised an eyebrow. "Not to worry pet, Spikey-dog will just put on his bleedin' muzzle when we get there, and not speak a word to ol' Peaches..."
Buffy's eyes sparkled in sudden hope, and the young woman gazed at him with the perfect innocence of a five-year-old kid, her voice suddenly mellow and expectant. "Will you really?"
"Bloody hell, no! If the big poof don't want me around, that's just one more reason to not go all warm 'n fuzzy," Spike promptly replied, sounding a little too irritated for Buffy's liking.
"Spike, I'm serious! Dead serious!" the Slayer exclaimed, in a rougher voice and with an unfriendly expression.
"Bet ya are, luv," the vampire replied nastily, with a distinct hint of irony.
Buffy grunted wildly, feeling suddenly very exhausted and frustrated. "Spike, this is serious," she spoke in a considerably calmer voice, quickly surprising the vampire.
"We really don't know what we're facing here, and I... oh what the hell, whatever. Look, you know I need you on board. Please, just please â€" promise me you won't be mean to Angel. Just don't... you know, just don't."
Spike smirked at her, unexpectedly linking his arm with hers and squeezing it gingerly â€" very much to Buffy's surprise, making her jump awkwardly for the sudden movement. "Can't promise nothin' pet, and I ain't gonna be just bloody watching if Angelus starts the prize-fight. All right, gonna miss out on poking some fun at Soul Boy but I'll try. For the whelp's sake, I mean. Not for Monkey Boy per se, but 'cause he's your bloody friend..."
Buffy smiled thinly at him. She knew that, just by saying this, Spike was already reaching his limit where the matter concerned her former boyfriend â€" and using Xander as an excuse had just made everything even more evident and clear.
The blonde girl softly held his hand with hers, not really knowing what she was doing.
And not really bothering to think about it, too.
"Thanks. That means a heckuva lot to me."
Spike squeezed his hand a little more strongly against Buffy's and then leered at her, trying to fake innocence. "Does that mean I get a kiss o' gratitude?"
There was one moment of sweet anticipation...
"Oy, that hurt!" the vampire cried out, as Buffy's swift punch encountered his arm.
"Pig," the Slayer said, sounding unconvincing even to her own ears.
Spike kept silent for a few brief seconds, and then replied, his words equally non-persuasive. "Sod off, pet."
And they kept staying like that, holding hands and looking very much like a passionate couple â€" two lovers that were drawn into a deep silence they knew only they could share.
And if Spike and Buffy were in fact that kind of couple, well... that was still a matter to be cleared up.
Given that the chances of their complicated relationship being that simple were practically the same as having the Hellmouth free of demons, on a day you actually needed things to go good and problem-free.
And, with all their experiences during all those years in good old Sunnydale, what that actually meant was that the chances of this were a big, fat zero.
Aggressive and troubled sex, an odd complicity, denial, lust, repulsion, passion, contradiction and a bottomless feeling of connection were the things that characterized their secret union, and what had brought so many sleepless nights in both Spike and Buffy's existence.
They'd shared the deepest physical intimacy more than once, and that was a fact. And there had been a lot more than just one act of passion, to be sure. What had the record been, eight times? During the one night?
That wasn't important, though. Where they were going, where precisely it had all started, what her friends would say... those were questions Buffy really didn't want to begin thinking about, already feeling an imminent headache arising from the complex web of contradictions, fears and vulnerability.
It was exactly moments like these that created the greatest doubts, however.
Apart from the whole complexity bit and the confused judgments, there was one undeniable fact. The most important thing of all; when the two of them were together there was a primal sense of comfort and feeling, a sense of being oddly complete for just that timeless instant.
Without needing to wonder about the future and the supposed right thing to do, or think about the past and its painful memories.
Forgetting that a word people called 'reason' existed, and rational thinking didn't bring you the right thing â€" and that, maybe, irony was just a concept.
Buffy and Spike knew that they should be searching for the most comforting thoughts in their situation, ones that didn't make them think about all the mistakes they could possibly be making.
But at the same time, the Slayer and the vampire couldn't help thinking this was often like trying to do the right thing, when all the choices one had sucked.
In any case, right now Buffy was afraid and scared â€" one of her best friends could be in real serious trouble, and she couldn't help but feel completely powerless to do anything about it.
And only another Slayer could tell how suffocating and painful it was for Buffy, to feel like that.
Holding hands with Spike, it was a succor that made her feel better and calmer. But the bigger question was always lingering in her mind; the blonde Slayer had questioned herself, ever since this chaotic relationship had first started, if that was really all there was to it.
Do I love him? Am I in love with a soulless killer?
Good question. Was she in love with Spike?
Hell, she so didn't know. To be completely honest, Buffy feared the answer so much that sometimes it was hard just to breathe, as her greatest fear always seemed to follow her no matter where she went.
And then of course there was the other question.
Was she wrong? Had she come back wrong, no matter what Tara had told her about the spell?
Buffy decided to shove these thoughts as far away from her mind as she was able to.
On any other day, that could have been the toughest thing the blonde girl could have tried to do, an exercise in futility â€" to not think about her inner confusion. At any hour of the day, that was almost impossible.
Any hour, any minute, any second â€" while preparing Dawn's lunch for school, patrolling, going to work, being at the Magic Box...
Did I come back wrong? That was the thought that had occupied Buffy's mind day and night.
But now another situation had cropped up, and it hadn't brought Buffy any relief of any kind â€" apart from briefly distracting her about Spike and her so-called life.
Xander. Her friend. Her keeper. Her heart. Her rock.
Apart from Willow and Dawn, her greatest weak spot.
Buffy didn't know when the bad feeling had started, precisely. Possibly it had been even before Wesley's phone call to Sunnydale. She knew something had been bothering her, anyway...
Something aching inside her incredibly wildly, that she'd tried to simply ignore the whole day. Something her Slayersense couldn't deny was there, though.
The Scooby Gang was always in some kind of trouble, that was an undeniable truth. And this accurate fact was exactly what twisted the Slayer's heart the most right now: why did she feel as if she was going to lose Xander today?
No. Buffy decided she wouldn't think like that. She couldn't. It was safer to think about Spike. It was safer to just let it all go.
And, besides, she had come back wrong.
How the hell could she have been right, then?
For the first time, in that very insane logic, the blonde Slayer could only wish she had, in fact, come back wrong. If that was what it took for her certainty about losing Xander in the very near future to be a delusion and falsehood, she wouldn't think twice about embracing it.
She had to be wrong.
***
"Hey! Nurse Marshall!" a yelling voice unexpectedly snapped Kelly out of her thoughts, making the curly-haired young woman turn around to search for whoever was calling her as she left the hospital building.
The nurse then saw an utterly wet Michael Penn as the sandy-haired doctor walked to her side, shivering and rubbing his hands together as if he was trying to warm them. "Damn, but I'm gonna kill those little bastards!"
Kelly couldn't help but raise an eyebrow. "Didn't your mother teach you not to play outside when it's raining?"
The young doctor forced a stiff smile, still wiping the palms of his hands. "Ha-ha, very funny Nurse Marshall. I'm just gonna need to remember to start laughing sometime..."
Kelly rolled her eyes. "What do you want, Dr. Penn? I'm officially off duty since, uh..." the blonde woman took a look at her watch, and turned her head in Michael's direction again. "Exactly ten minutes ago. And I won't go back there, even if they pay me a thousand million dollars."
Michael just sent an odd glance at her direction.
"Well, I might in the case of you know, a thousand million dollars, 'cause that's a whole lot of money and my apartment could use some redecorating..." Kelly reconsidered thoughtfully, and the sandy-haired doctor just shrugged in amused puzzlement.
"You're a very strange lady, Nurse Marshall." Kelly sent him a murderous gaze, and Michael's grin widened even more. "But a lovely one..."
The curly-haired blonde looked away, suddenly feeling a little uncomfortable. She then asked him, trying to make small talk and erase the awkward silence, "So, how did you got all wet anyway?"
"Oh, that?" the young doctor pointed to his soaked clothes. "A couple of kids with water pistols. A school bus driver felt a chest pain, and the teacher had to drive them here and brought the whole class with her. Just my luck, I guess."
The blonde nurse burst out in unexpected laughter and Michael just stood there, a dumb expression on his face. "You wouldn't happen to be finding my suffering amusing, now would you Nurse Marshall?"
"No, I, I really don't..." Kelly said, panting on account of her continuous laughter. "I just..." she hiccuped, trying to form a sentence that was actually coherent.
"I just, I just remembered something funny," the blonde finally managed to say, recomposing herself a little bit. "I wasn't laughing at you," Kelly finished lamely.
"Yeah, let's just pretend as if I bought that," Michael snorted. "Anyway, I was thinking about grabbing something to eat at that new deli around the corner. So, wanna come? After all those extra hours on shift, I could definitely go for that double turkey sandwich that they sell. Lewis says the food there's a real blessing, if you compare it to the hospital's cafeteria..."
Kelly shivered at hearing the female doctor's name. After last night's troubled shift, Dr. Lewis wasn't the most pleasant thing she could think about, after all.
"As if beating St. Matthew's food is the hardest thing in the world," she joked, as Kelly's features suddenly took on a twisted expression of disgust. "What's with hospitals and bad food, anyway? Is it some kind of creepy worldwide conspiracy? For God's sake, the poor patients are already suffering..."
That time, it was Penn's turn to laugh. "Tell me about it... even I can cook better, and in case you haven't tried my cuisine, my own dog rejects it. I think that says a lot about the matter..."
Kelly grinned lightly. "It won't be me who'll disbelieve you, Dr. Penn."
"Yeah, yeah..." Michael replied absent-mindedly, passing a hand through his sandy-haired wet locks. "So, wanna grab something to eat or not?"
"You paying?" the blonde nurse glanced at him friskily.
"Uh, lemme see... no?" the doctor replied, with the same playful tone.
"Spoilsport."
"OK, a coffee, and that's all," Michael offered, finding it strangely easy to surrender at the nurse's sweet smile.
"I can get that in the hospital, you know. That's all we drink in there," the curly-haired young woman pointed out, sending him an unexpectedly wild grin. "And I know you'll be kind enough to pay for a king-size tuna sandwich for me, won't you?"
"The most expensive one?" the doctor stuttered, raising his eyebrows with uncertainty and, at the same time, incredulity. "Wishful thinking. They don't pay me that much at this hospital, Nurse Marshall."
"What about your Armani suits? They must cost a fortune, I'm sure!" she promptly accused him.
"Sale," was Michael's reply. He said it in a small and, Kelly noticed, slightly embarrassed voice. So the nurse sent a biting smirk at him.
"All right, so you got me. I buy my clothes on sale. Big deal. That doesn't mean I'm supposed to pay for the most expensive deli sandwich for you, Nurse Marshall," the doctor blurted out, undeniably uncertain in voice, but trying to maintain a tough exterior.
The nurse made her best effort at a sweet smile. "Oh, c'mon Dr. Penn. I ran out of money yesterday, I had to pay rent. Uh, a three-months-late rent at that! You wouldn't let a poor little girl like me starve to death, would you?"
"It wouldn't be such a bad idea," Penn grunted under his breath, and Kelly just grinned.
The sandy-haired man could be a real pain in the ass while lost within his presumptuous, arrogant M.D. attitude, truth to be told.
But now, without the doctor-nurse mindset and finally leaving St. Matthews' haunting ambience behind as they walked along during that cold day, Kelly couldn't help but giggle to herself like a silly schoolgirl.
To the blonde, Michael Penn looked exactly like the kind of guy who, back in high school, the badass football players (that were unavoidable in every genuine American school environment) would steal lunches from.
"Did they find that Alex Harris guy yet?"
Nurse Marshall instantly gasped at hearing the dark-haired boy's name, as if Michael had just touched on something she'd have rather forgotten â€" which, in fact, she was trying to do, with an almost desperate strength.
Which, as lucky as Kelly always was, had turned out to be a totally futile attempt and complete disaster.
The truth was, Ms. Marshall wasn't able to forget last night's confused and appalling events. And, for some odd reason, the curly-haired nurse was pretty sure that she'd never be totally able to do so.
The deep feeling of failure, to Cordelia, to Xander â€" it was almost suffocating and unbearable for her. But Kelly didn't want to go over any of that again. Maybe she'd finally learned her lesson...
Never get too attached to patients or their relatives, Nurse Marshall, the blonde woman could even hear Dr. Lewis' voice warning her. It just makes everything more difficult.
The problem is, Kelly thought, sighing unconsciously, I know I'd rather just quit nursing altogether, because it'd be too hard for me to change my take on that.
"Nurse Marshall?"
Michael's voice finally managed to snap the blonde out of her own little world, and she just sent him an embarrassed glance.
"You were totally out of it for fifteen whole seconds, are you okay?" the doctor's worried voice asked carefully.
"Xander," Kelly then said, winning nothing more than a puzzled look from Michael. "It's not Alex, it's Xander."
"Oh," Penn replied cautiously, confused. "OK. Xander, yeah, I remember now. The wacko with the strange name. Did you know that his middle name's actually Lavelle? I saw it on his confiscated ID. Poor kid â€" I mean, it's not that hard to understand why he snapped," Michael chuckled, but immediately stopped when Kelly's face stared at him with an incredulous gaze in her wide ocean-green eyes.
At that very moment, the sandy-haired man cursed himself for his usual lack of thought before actually saying something.
"Carla told me she was worried about you. She said she thought you were getting too involved in Ms. Chase's case, and his own case later," Michael stated, a slight tone of accusation reaching Kelly's ears.
"What else did she tell you?" the nurse asked demandingly, in a bitter tone that Michael could barely associate with the sweet, tender nurse he'd been talking to seconds ago.
"Carla's just worried..."
"Well, so then she'll just have to drop it!" Kelly suddenly exploded. "There's something wrong with that man, Michael, and I just â€" I failed with him. He... I'm sure he didn't... that, that headless street guy, I mean... I just, I just thought I could help him, but he's just..."
"Another homicidal maniac," the sandy-haired doctor completed softly. "I'm sorry Kelly, I didn't know this case had affected you so much. I'd have been more careful with my words if I had..."
The blonde nurse looked down to the pavement, and then back at his eyes. And much to Michael's surprise, Kelly started to chuckle.
"What?" the clueless young doctor asked.
"It's just that it's the first time you've ever called me Kelly, and not Nurse Marshall," she mused, the scene somehow looking comical to Michael given her voice was still a little snippy.
"Well, get used to it," the man replied playfully.
The nurse opened her mouth to retort, but a sudden scream pleading for help quickly made them run towards the voice's location, in a nearby alley.
And when Michael and Kelly finally located the screamer, they had to make a strong effort not to scream out loud themselves.
A scream of fear, puzzlement, astonishment, surprise, panic... they honestly couldn't tell.
A brunette young woman, the same one they recognized as Faith the prison escapee from TV, was pointing Big Aunt Mona's rifle right in their faces. And Xander Harris' body was leaning against one of the walls, unconscious and bleeding nastily.
"Are you doctors?" the Slayer demanded instantly, and while Michael slowly nodded, Kelly only shook her head.
"I'm a nurse," Kelly decided to say, as softly and harmlessly as she could.
The brunette girl started to nervously move backwards, till she finally stopped and lowered herself down next to where Xander was. Faith waved for the curly-haired blonde and the young doctor to come over, never losing her aim at them.
"Please..." the brunette began confusedly, sounding to Marshall and Penn way too insecure and frightened for the cold and dangerous murderer that the news had announced her to be. "I, I couldn't risk it any longer, he's dying... please, just save him and I won't hurt you. You don't know what'll happen if he... please, just save him..."
Kelly gulped in sudden fear, as she exchanged a troubled look with Michael.
She'd thought this couldn't have gotten any more complicated. But Destiny had its own smooth way to show the blonde nurse how wrong and mistaken she could actually be.
***
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