Scene: Entrance to Docking Bay 94. An extremely bored Umaro stands watching the door, tapping his foot and absentmindedly twirling his hair. The door slides open, and Red, Lute, and the Mecs enter. The stop and stare as they get their first glimpse of the Epserwilde.
Cut to CG: pan of Esperwilde. The Esperwilde resembles a large, mulitple-masted schooner, attached to what appears to be a dirigible. Many of the fans that once set the dirigible in motion have been replaced with turbines, and the mylar of the balloon has been reinforced with laser-reflective polymers and steel banding. Remarkably old, the ship is fairly beat up and scored with markings from laser fire, mostly hidden by spritely-colored paint.
Red: *obviously impressed* Wow!
PzkwV: *not impressed* What the?!
Lute: *also not impressed* We're flying in THAT thing?
Umaro: Myep.
Lute: Which desert did you dig that fossil out of?
Locke: *descending the gangplank* That's a closely guarded secret.
PzkwV: You're right! It DOES have a cute paint job!
Umaro: Fangyu.
Lute: Can it even get off the ground?
The group approaches the ship; Lute and the Mecs are wary, but Red seems to be in awe.
Locke: Trust me kid, this isn't like the bicycle you use to deliver papers. She may look run down, but she's still got more moves left than a Baccarat lounge singer.
Red: This is the real thing, isn't it? Just like they used in ancient times.
Locke: I always had a soft spot for nostalgia.
Red: *coming around* If you don't mind, we're in a hurry. Are you ready to go?
Locke: Just as soon as get aboard... and pay for tickets.
PzkwV: What's the rush? I've been scanning for Trinity since we left the bar. No one's following us.
The door bursts open as several Trinity soldiers hastily enter.
Trinity 4: There they are!
Trinity Division Leader: Destroy everything!
PzkwV: *slaps forehead*
Trinity Division Leader: KILL! KILL! KILL!
Trinity 2: Didn't we do that to you already?
Red: *shaking head* Who didn't see this coming?
Locke: Everyone! On board now!
T260G: *dragging PzkwV* Friend schedules checkup ASAP!
Trinity 7: My turn! *fires DestructionBeam at Division Leader*
Trinity 1: No, mine!
The entire Trinity force blow away their annoying division leader as our heroes slip on board. Locke pulls an Aguni-MBX and starts firing at the soldiers.
Locke: *humming*One*BLAM*-little-two*BLAM*-little-three*BLAM*-little-idiots!
Trinity Division Leader: ki..ll...
Trinity 3: *shot by Locke and dies*
Trinity 5: !@*^!%@! Get them!
The Trinity forces turn and fire on the Esperwilde.
Locke: Four*BLAM*-little-fi - Whoh! *barely dodging DestructionBeam*
Sariel V Humor, LTD. - You'd kill me if I stopped here, now, wouldn't you?
Copyright August 2, 2001
OUTTAKES
Red: This is the real thing, isn't it? Just like they used in ancient times.
Locke: Of course it is! Name one Final Fantasy where old stuff wasn't better and more powerful!
Lute: By that reasoning, FF6 is just plain godlike.
Terra: (off-camera) Shut up!